Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: The only one in my class :/
Don't let your insecurities get to you.
They have no idea if your "missing" husband wasn't there b/c he is serving our country overseas, or if your missing partner died in a horrible car accident, or if your birthing the second coming of Christ and it was divine intervention why you are with child but without partner.
You hold your head up. You are someone special's mother and you have every right to attend any class with whomever you choose to be your partner through your labor and birth of your very loved and wanted child.
That's THEIR problem, not yours. Try not to let it get to you. There's going to be lots and lots of situations like this, when it becomes apparent that you're a single mom. Some people are threatened by it because it's not the traditional family that they're used to. That's their deal.
I went with my BFF and XH went sometimes too so we were a bit odd. But the main thing is that you have a happy and healthy labor so I think it's best to have whomever will help to make this happen. I've been where you are before and it kind of sucks so big hugs to you.
Seriously though, DOESN'T IT SUCK?
I'm a single mom-to-be... and have been my entire pregnancy. Dad is not at all involved, so I've been really surprised by the different situations the arise, and stupid things that other people say, and do!
As for the CB classes, I went with my mom, who is also my support person for delivery. I was really surprised by the instructors lack of understanding. She kept using the terms "husbands" or "dads", even after we reminded her that my mother was not my husband, nor the father. She basically laughed it off, and continued to be insensitive. Thanks a lot lady, glad I'm shelling out money (which I can't particularly afford) for you to make me feel like an outcast. We made the best of it, and had quite a few giggling fits along the way. Sure, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but we had fun with it.
I'm just so surprised by how many people are still so awe-struck when you inform them that no, you are not married, and no, the father is not involved. I might as well sew a scarlet letter to every one of my shirts. What should it stand for... how about "W" for why is it any of your damn business??!!
The way I see it? You are a strong, independent, and SMART woman. You have made decisions that will not only benefit you, but more importantly, benefit your child. You (and only you) know what you can handle, and know what will be best for the baby. A stable home is one that has love, support, and as little stress and drama as possible-- which doesn't always translate to "two parents". So screw the couples who are laughing at you. Remember, just because she has a man beside her, doesn't mean that's where he wants to be... think about how many of those couples are together ONLY because she is pregnant. You were strong enough to know that isn't the type of relationship you (or your child) need.
And for the days when you're not so sure, check this out. I started a blog about my journey through the unchartered waters of single momhood-to-be.
www.gracefacebaby.com
You go girl. It does get better, trust me. (I know that probably annoys you to hear, as it annoys me too... but it IS true.)
- J
THANK YOU for writing this!!! I needed to hear this! I am 23 weeks and a FTM. What you just wrote summed up exactly how I need to feel about what is going to happen in my life! I seriously can't thank you enough for writing that. And because you put it up there I went on to the website you gave and read the last post and had those happy tears come. Seriously hope everything works out as best as possible for you!!!!!!!
Thank you again!
Harper Jane 11/19/11 5lb 15 oz 20 inches... perfection