The only one in my class :/

tpstover

So I started my child birthing classed on Wednesday and I was the only one there without a spouse. I brought my twin sister with me for support. But I still felt as if everyone were whispering and talking about me. Even when we started the relaxtion portion of the class my sister and I noticed a couple whispering to each other and just giving us the death stare. Even though I felt as if i have accepted the fact that i'm going to be a single mommy, I hate that i have to be reminded by others. I really hope that I will be able to get over the judgemental stares, so that I can be strong for myself and my daughter... I just wish that it would just come soon.

peeps61308

I had a husband and I still took my mom with me to one of the childbirth classes. I know that it isn't easy, but you will make it through.

sweetie0228

Don't let your insecurities get to you.

They have no idea if your "missing" husband wasn't there b/c he is serving our country overseas, or if your missing partner died in a horrible car accident, or if your birthing the second coming of Christ and it was divine intervention why you are with child but without partner.

You hold your head up.  You are someone special's mother and you have every right to attend any class with whomever you choose to be your partner through your labor and birth of your very loved and wanted child.

 

 

 

karleegirl

I'm a lurker, but was a single parent for 10 yrs. I had ds when I was a teenager so I was judged even more. It used to really consume me. That so and so stared at me, or the moms at preschool were judging me. I finally got the F them all attitude. In all reality most people don't care that much about you. Secondly if they do , it really doesn't change your life. Now I'm in an interracial marriage in the good ol backwards south so I still get looks. What I like to do is look the person staring at me dead in the eye and smile really big. Maybe even say hi how are you? It makes them so uncomfortable.. I love it.

monpetitechouchou01

sweetie0228:

Don't let your insecurities get to you.

They have no idea if your "missing" husband wasn't there b/c he is serving our country overseas, or if your missing partner died in a horrible car accident, or if your birthing the second coming of Christ and it was divine intervention why you are with child but without partner.

You hold your head up.  You are someone special's mother and you have every right to attend any class with whomever you choose to be your partner through your labor and birth of your very loved and wanted child.

 

This was fantastic You cracked me up.

Now OP... I understand how you feel. I have decided against a birthing class and just to go with it. Yet, I too would have brought someone with me. However, I've learned not to explain to people who don't know me what my situation is. This reminds me of how I felt when I went to babies r us on my own the other night. I normally go with someone to help me pick things out but this time I just decided to head there alone and do a little shopping. Unfortunately, it made me cry instead of getting excited. Everyone assumed I was married. I can't say this is a bad thing. Its natural for them to assume that! The couples I spoke to ...to the sales people... they all eventually mentioned my "husband".

In the end I just decided to never explain to anyone and I'd just say "The daddy is a total nonshopper and isn't as hands on!". In reality I never lied because the daddy isn't hands on in regards to ANYTHING in this pregnancy let alone shopping. But I also don't have to let strangers know my story, have them feel sorry for me and remind myself over and over again that I'm alone in this because it is something I'll never forget. I know how you feel. But keep your head up. I know that in the end you'll end up being one tough little bull...   I keep saying that to myself. 

 

achase123

That's THEIR problem, not yours.  Try not to let it get to you.  There's going to be lots and lots of situations like this, when it becomes apparent that you're a single mom.  Some people are threatened by it because it's not the traditional family that they're used to.  That's their deal.

I went with my BFF and XH went sometimes too so we were a bit odd.  But the main thing is that you have a happy and healthy labor so I think it's best to have whomever will help to make this happen.  I've been where you are before and it kind of sucks so big hugs to you.

sammyk0688

My mom came with me to my CB class and I felt the same way.  I know I was getting the side eye and that even though I was making the choice to have this baby, I wasn't going to be widely accepted as a single mother in that class.  But, once that little person is in your arms after all that hard work, s/he is all that matters after that.  Yes, it's still awkward trying to answer the ever-loving questions about your LO's father, but you learn to A. accept the question and B. learn how to answer them so that people will mind their own business.  You're strong for doing this.  Seriously.  Good luck!  You can do this.  

turtle1120

Hugs to you!  It's rough.  I brought my mom with me to my childbirth classes and I was so self-conscious about it.  It was more my own personal issue than anything else.  The people in the class were nice and didn't do anything to make me feel out of place.  It's rough, but it does get easier!  Go to your class and hold your head up high.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.

jessicaprice87

Seriously though, DOESN'T IT SUCK? 

I'm a single mom-to-be... and have been my entire pregnancy. Dad is not at all involved, so I've been really surprised by the different situations the arise, and stupid things that other people say, and do!

 As for the CB classes, I went with my mom, who is also my support person for delivery. I was really surprised by the instructors lack of understanding. She kept using the terms "husbands" or "dads", even after we reminded her that my mother was not my husband, nor the father. She basically laughed it off, and continued to be insensitive. Thanks a lot lady, glad I'm shelling out money (which I can't particularly afford) for you to make me feel like an outcast. We made the best of it, and had quite a few giggling fits along the way. Sure, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but we had fun with it. 

 I'm just so surprised by how many people are still so awe-struck when you inform them that no, you are not married, and no, the father is not involved. I might as well sew a scarlet letter to every one of my shirts. What should it stand for... how about "W" for why is it any of your damn business??!!

 The way I see it? You are a strong, independent, and SMART woman. You have made decisions that will not only benefit you, but more importantly, benefit your child. You (and only you) know what you can handle, and know what will be best for the baby. A stable home is one that has love, support, and as little stress and drama as possible-- which doesn't always translate to "two parents". So screw the couples who are laughing at you. Remember, just because she has a man beside her, doesn't mean that's where he wants to be... think about how many of those couples are together ONLY because she is pregnant. You were strong enough to know that isn't the type of relationship you (or your child) need. 

 And for the days when you're not so sure, check this out. I started a blog about my journey through the unchartered waters of single momhood-to-be. 

www.gracefacebaby.com

  You go girl. It does get better, trust me. (I know that probably annoys you to hear, as it annoys me too... but it IS true.)

- J 

mom0716

jessicaprice87:

Seriously though, DOESN'T IT SUCK? 

I'm a single mom-to-be... and have been my entire pregnancy. Dad is not at all involved, so I've been really surprised by the different situations the arise, and stupid things that other people say, and do!

 As for the CB classes, I went with my mom, who is also my support person for delivery. I was really surprised by the instructors lack of understanding. She kept using the terms "husbands" or "dads", even after we reminded her that my mother was not my husband, nor the father. She basically laughed it off, and continued to be insensitive. Thanks a lot lady, glad I'm shelling out money (which I can't particularly afford) for you to make me feel like an outcast. We made the best of it, and had quite a few giggling fits along the way. Sure, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but we had fun with it. 

 I'm just so surprised by how many people are still so awe-struck when you inform them that no, you are not married, and no, the father is not involved. I might as well sew a scarlet letter to every one of my shirts. What should it stand for... how about "W" for why is it any of your damn business??!!

 The way I see it? You are a strong, independent, and SMART woman. You have made decisions that will not only benefit you, but more importantly, benefit your child. You (and only you) know what you can handle, and know what will be best for the baby. A stable home is one that has love, support, and as little stress and drama as possible-- which doesn't always translate to "two parents". So screw the couples who are laughing at you. Remember, just because she has a man beside her, doesn't mean that's where he wants to be... think about how many of those couples are together ONLY because she is pregnant. You were strong enough to know that isn't the type of relationship you (or your child) need. 

 And for the days when you're not so sure, check this out. I started a blog about my journey through the unchartered waters of single momhood-to-be. 

www.gracefacebaby.com

  You go girl. It does get better, trust me. (I know that probably annoys you to hear, as it annoys me too... but it IS true.)

- J 

 

THANK YOU for writing this!!! I needed to hear this! I am 23 weeks and a FTM. What you just wrote summed up exactly how I need to feel about what is going to happen in my life! I seriously can't thank you enough for writing that. And because you put it up there I went on to the website you gave and read the last post and had those happy tears come. Seriously hope everything works out as best as possible for you!!!!!!! 

Thank you again!  

brandnewmommy103

I decided not to take a birthing class, but i did go on the hospital tour... and there were all couples. BUT the funny part was i walked up on one of the couples fighting and later on they were holding hands trying to act like the perfect couple. made me SO glad i wasnt there with my ex!