Thoughts on becoming a mother (future pg mentioned)

jonesdouglas · February 2012

Hopefully this helps someone as much as it helped me. We ALL share the same grief and sadness. We are so much different from women who have never experienced a loss before. This helped me to see that.

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother:

There are women that become mothers without effort,

without thought, without patience or loss

and though they are amazing mothers and love their children,

I know that I will be different, I will make myself be better.

I will be better not because of genetics,

or money or that I have read more books

but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life,

the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,

explore and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,

knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him

and that I am not waking to take another temperature,

pop another pill,

take another shot

or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying in the other room,

waiting for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;

that God has given me this insight,

this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will never see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to,

or a child that God leads me to,

I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife,

a better aunt,

a better daughter,

neighbor,

friend and sister

because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.

Betrayed by a child's death.

I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,

I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it,

mourn it,

and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better,

I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,

of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in these shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

pinktrojanbride120107 · February 2012

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I hope this will all come true for us!

muriel & eder · February 2012

I like this. It's beautiful.

MWoodside · February 2012

This is so true.

Before I had this loss, I already feel this way b/c it took us over 2 years of dealing with my PCOS to conceive my daughter. It totally gives a different perspective when something doesn't come easy. This loss have made the feelings even stronger.

edinger3 · February 2012

Absolutely beautiful! It brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing!

ChevelleRivers · February 2012

I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing.

jcohen721 · March 2012

Wow!! This is so beautiful! I will be printing this and keeping it somewhere special that I can look at it often. Thank you so much for sharing!

Thoughts on becoming a mother (future pg mentioned)

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