Have "push presents" been discussed here yet?

snowflakemom · February 2012

Just thought I'd liven things up

Who is and who is not getting "push" presents? Who is wishing they were getting one, but probably won't? Who is adamantly against them?

I will hold my opinion for now...

MrsMincks · February 2012

I don't think there's anything wrong with them at all. I think they're sweet. I just think the ladies who demand super-expensive jewelry and get all hissy if they don't get it are ridiculous.

We're actually giving gifts to our families while we're in the labor room...I got bird's nest necklaces for my mom and MIL, cufflinks with the definition of "grandfather" for my FIL, and a rocks glass that says "Grandpa's sippy cup" for my dad :-) There's also a t-shirt that says "UNCLE: Est. 2012" for my brother, since he's so over the moon about becoming an uncle!

I want to give DH something, but I can't think of anything good...suggestions?

ETA: I'm not expecting a gift. But if DH gives me one, all I'd want is some little memento, like a locket or a picture frame or something. Or a gigantic margarita. Like, fishbowl-sized.

widowspeak · February 2012

I actually hadn't heard of them until a few days ago. (I forget who mentioned it in another thread. . .) How does one define "push present," exactly?

snowflakemom · February 2012

MrsMincks:

I want to give DH something, but I can't think of anything good...suggestions?

Hmm...how about this keychain: https://www.etsy.com/listing/90612803/mens-gift-hand-stamped-stainless-steel?ref=sr_gallery_12&sref=&ga_search_query=fathers+day&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

snowflakemom · February 2012

widowspeak:
I actually hadn't heard of them until a few days ago. (I forget who mentioned it in another thread. . .) How does one define "push present," exactly?

Basically a gift from the father of the baby to the mother, traditionally jewelry.

MrsMincks · February 2012

snowflakemom:
MrsMincks:

I want to give DH something, but I can't think of anything good...suggestions?

Hmm...how about this keychain: https://www.etsy.com/listing/90612803/mens-gift-hand-stamped-stainless-steel?ref=sr_gallery_12&sref=&ga_search_query=fathers+day&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

Oh, that's so cute!! Great idea, thank you!

lindslalala · February 2012

I'm not expecting one and I won't ask for one. If I got one I would be pleasantly surprised.

salt78 · February 2012

I think that the concept of them is ridiculous and I had never even heard of them until I started posting on the Bump.

I think it's even more ridiculous that some women demand them.

MissAuroram · February 2012

widowspeak:
I actually hadn't heard of them until a few days ago. (I forget who mentioned it in another thread. . .) How does one define "push present," exactly?

I think I was that person. I recall saying I don't really believe in them, but I hope my husband plans on getting me Mass Effect 3. But since we would be getting that anyway, I'm going to say it doesn't really count. I think the basic idea is that the mother gets a present (usually jewelry) for going through the work of labor and delivery.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the giving of them, but asking for or demanding them is ridiculous. I haven't really seen it on the March board, but elsewhere people straight up expect them, and expect them to be expensive. It sort of reminds me of those kids who complained about getting the wrong color iPhone for Christmas. It just feels entitled. But to each her own.

Edited for grammar that was driving me crazy and clarity. :-P

widowspeak · February 2012

snowflakemom:
widowspeak:
I actually hadn't heard of them until a few days ago. (I forget who mentioned it in another thread. . .) How does one define "push present," exactly?

Basically a gift from the father of the baby to the mother, traditionally jewelry.

AH. That makes more sense now.

Well, my main modus operandi tends to be, "Different strokes for different folks." There is very little one could do that would make me judge you; in fact, it's got to be one hell of a doozy for that to happen. That said, I'm not into the idea of demanding a gift for doing the hard work of childbirth when it's sort of a 50/50 deal. You both agreed to having kids; both gotta hold up your respective end of the deal, you know? But, as with anything, one's mileage may vary.

On the other hand, if it is purely a gesture of love and affection, and not demanded, then I think it's wonderful. Smile I highly doubt my husband would think of such a thing (John, bless his heart, gets "deer in headlights" syndrome whenever gift giving comes up), but if he did, I certainly wouldn't belittle him for it. In fact, I think I'd probably sob openly, due to the combination of hormones and shock that he actually set out to choose a present and give it to me at such a monumental occasion.

mcgeeva · February 2012

I am for them but with that said it's more of a joint anniversary/push gift since last year we didn't gifts for our anniversary or my birthday this year due paying for fertility treatments. Two I really want something special since the last year and a half was rough trying to get pregnant and being sick as a dog for so long thanks to the drugs.y

I would just like to add though..I don't feel it's a must for men to give their wives something just because they have baby. I am planning on getting my husband an Ipad 2 as an anniversary/baby gift as well so it's not just him getting me something. Two I really think it matters how people spend their money. We don't do gifts for every occasion holiday we pick one during the year we feel is special to us.

Alliebooberz · February 2012

My husband bought me an anniversary band that I've been wearing on my left ring finger since my wedding/engagement ring don't fit. It will eventually go to my right hand when my rings fit again.

I really don't care at all what other people do or don't do. I know a lot of people have pretty strong opinions about this for some reason. If you can afford it, or if you can't, I seriously don't care what you do or don't do with your money.

HalloweenWife · February 2012

DH and I joke about it but I'm not "demanding" anything. I'm spoiled enough as my best friend says. The only thing I would really love to have is a dishwasher because we don't have one and it would make my life 3 million times easier.

widowspeak · February 2012

MissAuroram:
widowspeak:
I actually hadn't heard of them until a few days ago. (I forget who mentioned it in another thread. . .) How does one define "push present," exactly?
I think I was that person. I recall saying I don't really believe in them, but I hope my husband plans on getting me Mass Effect 3. But since we would be getting that anyway, I'm going to say it doesn't really count. I think the basic idea is that the mother gets a present (usually jewelry) for going through the work of labor and delivery.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the giving of them, but asking for or demanding them is ridiculous. I haven't really seen it on the March board, but elsewhere people straight up expect them, and expect them to be expensive. It sort of reminds me of those kids who complained about getting the wrong color iPhone for Christmas. It just feels entitled. But to each her own.
Edited for grammar that was driving me crazy and clarity. :-P

YES. How could I have POSSIBLY forgotten that conversation??? ME3 is only the biggest game release of Q1 2012! *lol*

Man, I remember seeing all those brats post on Twitter about their "lame presents" and "hating everything forever" when they got an iPhone instead of an iPad, or a BMW instead of a Jag, whatever. Made me weep for humanity. Crying

For me, I'd honestly rather give something to the hubs, as I've felt increasingly guilty that all this attention has been showered on me and our impending newborn than him. I've been worried about him feeling left out of the process, somehow. (Probably why I let him go nuts picking baby names, now that I think about it.)

The problem is, what to get him? He's not a jewelry guy. He's been fighting the packrat tendency that runs in his family. We're already getting ME3 Collector's Edition. (One each, because I've been paying them off slowly since it was announced, and I damn well want to play multiplayer WITH my husband, GDI. :P) He needs new shoes, but I'd rather get those for him BEFORE our due date, so he's comfortable in L&D.

*sigh* Dilemma.

sedo2480 · February 2012

My husband I don't generally do Valentine's gifts and I we had a group discussion among a group of griends about push presents but I never demanded one.. I was however very happy when I got a very nice present on Valentine's that he labeled a Valentine's/push present..

I am also getting him something.. i bought him a watch for our 1st Valentine's (back when we exchanged gifts) and he just cracked the face. I am buying him a new watch that I am engraving with the baby's name and birthday. I plan to drop it off at the engraver and have someone pick it up while i am at hospital and bring it to me. I think it is a nice way to celebrate our first baby..

I think they are nice but I think they are the best when they are personal and have some meaning that you can look back and it will have an association with the birth of your child. I will always look at my ring and remember this time in our lives and i hope he does the same with his watch...

snowflakemom · February 2012

Ok, I'll weigh in now as well...

As pretty much everyone else has said, I am very much of the "to each her own" philosophy. I wasn't aware of what a push present was before I had DD#1 but DH's grandma and one of her friends had a conversation with DH before DD was born and mentioned that he get me something. Otherwise, I'm sure he would have had no clue. So, for each child he has had a diamond band added to my wedding ring (I just had one ring for my engagement/wedding ring, not separate bands for each). So for DS, he's going to do a larger center stone, but I think we're going to hold off for about a year since it will be a larger investment than the bands were. As sedo said, I love that each time I look at my ring I think about the meaning behind each piece - the original ring from DH for our engagement/wedding, the first band for DD#1, the second for DD#2 and eventually the center for DS (and he will probably be our last).

Oh and FWIW, I *hate* the term "push present" - isn't there a better term for it than that??

MrsMincks · February 2012

snowflakemom:
Ok, I'll weigh in now as well...

As pretty much everyone else has said, I am very much of the "to each her own" philosophy. I wasn't aware of what a push present was before I had DD#1 but DH's grandma and one of her friends had a conversation with DH before DD was born and mentioned that he get me something. Otherwise, I'm sure he would have had no clue. So, for each child he has had a diamond band added to my wedding ring (I just had one ring for my engagement/wedding ring, not separate bands for each). So for DS, he's going to do a larger center stone, but I think we're going to hold off for about a year since it will be a larger investment than the bands were. As sedo said, I love that each time I look at my ring I think about the meaning behind each piece - the original ring from DH for our engagement/wedding, the first band for DD#1, the second for DD#2 and eventually the center for DS (and he will probably be our last).

Oh and FWIW, I *hate* the term "push present" - isn't there a better term for it than that??

I always called them "birth presents", which I think is a little nicer (and more all-encompassing for those who give gifts to people other than just the mother).

widowspeak · February 2012

snowflakemom:
Oh and FWIW, I *hate* the term "push present" - isn't there a better term for it than that??

I'm with you, there. Then again, I'm also one of those people who despises most non-official acronyms, so I might not be the best person to weigh in on that particular aspect. (I think my dislike stems from people using text/chat speak in everyday life. Can't you just bloody well type out or say what you ACTUALLY mean??? *tears hair out*)

First new term that came to mind was "labor trophy," but that's even worse! Hmmm. . .

MrsMincks · February 2012

widowspeak:
snowflakemom:
Oh and FWIW, I *hate* the term "push present" - isn't there a better term for it than that??
I'm with you, there. Then again, I'm also one of those people who despises most non-official acronyms, so I might not be the best person to weigh in on that particular aspect. (I think my dislike stems from people using text/chat speak in everyday life. Can't you just bloody well type out or say what you ACTUALLY mean??? *tears hair out*)
First new term that came to mind was "labor trophy," but that's even worse! Hmmm. . .

Unless it's LITERALLY A TROPHY. Which would make it really cool.

I did tell DH that if I manage to go through this naturally, I fully expect him to get me a cape.

gdizzle · February 2012

I think the idea of it is nice, but it is pretty crazy that some women demand them! I am just planning to buy myself a piece of jewelry with LO's birthstone after he is born.

I did buy this for DH: https://www.etsy.com/listing/62809920/new-daddy-gift-set-dad-and-baby-matching

snowflakemom · February 2012

widowspeak:

First new term that came to mind was "labor trophy," but that's even worse! Hmmm. . .

Haha! Yeah I think that's going in the wrong direction... And now I totally have an image of a large gold trophy is the shape of...a baby? Ha.

Mincks, I like "birth present." I guess since I have only had c-sections I feel like "push" present is a little off the mark. :P

Lesleyjking · February 2012

I joked w hub I wanted a mommy makeover and he's getting me one.

widowspeak · February 2012

MrsMincks:
widowspeak:
snowflakemom:
Oh and FWIW, I *hate* the term "push present" - isn't there a better term for it than that??
I'm with you, there. Then again, I'm also one of those people who despises most non-official acronyms, so I might not be the best person to weigh in on that particular aspect. (I think my dislike stems from people using text/chat speak in everyday life. Can't you just bloody well type out or say what you ACTUALLY mean??? *tears hair out*)
First new term that came to mind was "labor trophy," but that's even worse! Hmmm. . .
Unless it's LITERALLY A TROPHY. Which would make it really cool.
I did tell DH that if I manage to go through this naturally, I fully expect him to get me a cape.

If this happens, YOU MUST POST PHOTOS. THE INTERNET DEMANDS IT. *stern look*

Wink

And yes, an actual trophy would be strangely badass. What would it look like, I wonder. . .?

widowspeak · February 2012

snowflakemom:
widowspeak:

First new term that came to mind was "labor trophy," but that's even worse! Hmmm. . .

Haha! Yeah I think that's going in the wrong direction... And now I totally have an image of a large gold trophy is the shape of...a baby? Ha.

Mincks, I like "birth present." I guess since I have only had c-sections I feel like "push" present is a little off the mark. :P

Gold for going natural, silver for getting the epi, and bronze for simply managing not to tear parts of your SO's anatomy off? Wink

And I like "birth present," too. Not to be confused with "birthday present," obviously. Though, this does bring to mind. . .what does one call a present from the baby to a member of the family? You know, like some parents have a present ready and waiting for any older siblings from the new one?

mhollidayesq · February 2012

I didn't demand one...but I did ask. I should be getting a Tiffany's charm bracelet with a charm for our daughter and one to commemorate our deceased son. Since I rarely ask DH for anything and he is always saying I do more for others than myself...he was happy that there was something that I actually wanted and asked for it.

F15Wife · February 2012

I would LOVE my "push present" to be a HUGE glass of wine or a cider beer.

LillyGrrl · February 2012

wait, wait, wait---hold the phone are you saying me pushing a 10lb baby out my vag is cause for me to get diamonds? Well holy *** I missed out on my last pregnancy and this one too...

What a ridiculous concept. How is the baby not the "push present"? LOL.

bamfs · February 2012

I'm getting a necklace with my children's monograms on it... it was something I wanted to have now that we are done having kids. I didn't demand it, but it was something I mentioned several month ago.

kiarstin · February 2012

Any woman who mentioned a push present to their husband, asked for one or " Just dropped a hint" already killed the whole idea behind them. I have nothing against if you husband wants to show his appreciation that way, and if HE chooses to, that is part of what make the gift special. I think requesting one or expecting something extravagant is stupid. Plus we did this together, so I don't feel like I deserve more of a gift than the child I asked for. I did however get my husband a really nice watch he has wanted, to celebrate him becoming a dad. I never mentioned I did it so its a surprise and I don't expect anything in return, well I expect him to be my b!tch while I am recovering but thats a give in.

mhollidayesq · February 2012

kiarstin:
Any woman who mentioned a push present to their husband, asked for one or " Just dropped a hint" already killed the whole idea behind them. I have nothing against if you husband wants to show his appreciation that way, and if HE chooses to, that is part of what make the gift special. I think requesting one or expecting something extravagant is stupid. Plus we did this together, so I don't feel like I deserve more of a gift than the child I asked for. I did however get my husband a really nice watch he has wanted, to celebrate him becoming a dad. I never mentioned I did it so its a surprise and I don't expect anything in return, well I expect him to be my b!tch while I am recovering but thats a give in.

Ruined Whose idea? Yours? Well that's fine for you, but I certainly didn't ruin anything for myself since I will be getting it...and looking forward to seeing which charms he chose. And what's extravagant to you may not be to others. If my husband were a millionaire then diamonds would not be extravagant. As far as doing it together...again your perspective. I went through two rounds if IVF...I took the meds, I did the injections and I will do the labor. Yes it his child too, but lwt's cut the crap with the BS that men go through the same to get pregnant or to carry a pregnancy. My DH happily admits to anyone that he is proud of all that I was willing to do, bcs he wouldn't have been able to do a third of it. So he his happy to celebrate me going birth to his child and was happy to have me ask for something.

CplusJ=S · February 2012

My husband and I don't buy gifts for each other anymore for any holiday or occasion. We are more of a buy what we want when we want it couple. In fact, I bought my own diamond earrings when I graduated from college this past June. We also just bought a new home, so I am certainly not expecting any gifts for having a baby. A heartfelt letter or card would be way more special for me.

satama · February 2012

I didn't ask for or expect anything with DS, but DH got me a necklace with the baby's birthstone that he gave me at the hospital. When we got home he also had a huge basket waiting for me with all the stuff I could not have while pregnant: wine, chocolate (I had GD), and other treats, there was also a gift card for a massage. That was a pretty freakin awesome present.

I did tell him this time I would like some wine and cadbury eggs (GD again), LOL.

MrsMincks · February 2012

satama:
I didn't ask for or expect anything with DS, but DH got me a necklace with the baby's birthstone that he gave me at the hospital. When we got home he also had a huge basket waiting for me with all the stuff I could not have while pregnant: wine, chocolate (I had GD), and other treats, there was also a gift card for a massage. That was a pretty freakin awesome present.

I did tell him this time I would like some wine and cadbury eggs (GD again), LOL.

Mmmm. Cadbury Eggs are the greatest thing...I look forward to them all year long. When they go on sale after Easter, I actually buy as many as I can and keep them in egg cartons in the fridge.

satama · February 2012

Oh, and I had an emergency c-section last time, and will be a RCS this time, so I guess it is a surgery recovery present not a "push present". Stick out tongue

RebeccaLovesChris · February 2012

lindslalala:
I'm not expecting one and I won't ask for one. If I got one I would be pleasantly surprised.

This.

satama · February 2012

MrsMincks:
satama:

I didn't ask for or expect anything with DS, but DH got me a necklace with the baby's birthstone that he gave me at the hospital. When we got home he also had a huge basket waiting for me with all the stuff I could not have while pregnant: wine, chocolate (I had GD), and other treats, there was also a gift card for a massage. That was a pretty freakin awesome present.

I did tell him this time I would like some wine and cadbury eggs (GD again), LOL.

Mmmm. Cadbury Eggs are the greatest thing...I look forward to them all year long. When they go on sale after Easter, I actually buy as many as I can and keep them in egg cartons in the fridge.

I bought a bunch one year to save for the next few months after Easter, I found one pack in the bottom of my crisper around Christmas the next year. I guess I was hiding them from myself, and I hid them too well. They were probbaly still good, but I could not bring myself to eat them at that point. What a waste!

kenldav · February 2012

I had never heard of them before until DH came home the other day asking if he was supposed to get me one. I told him that I had never heard of it before but he said his boss had mentioned it to him and he was thinking he would get DD and I matching necklaces with her birth stone. I'm definitely not asking or demanding anything but thought it was sweet that he came up with the idea

enairda08 · February 2012

I will consider a healthy baby boy to be my ultimate "push present"! I don't want anything more than that when it is all said and done

Loribelle73 · February 2012

I didn't get one with DS1, and when I told my husband that I was kind of hurt that he didn't get me one (since all my friends kept asking what he got me) he told me that since my induction ended in a c-section and I didn't actually push, that I didn't deserve a push present. Needless to say I was really offended by that. I had really wanted a baby birthstone necklace. Didn't get it for my first mother's day either. I don't suppose I will get anything for this baby either.

kiarstin · February 2012

mhollidayesq:
kiarstin:
Any woman who mentioned a push present to their husband, asked for one or " Just dropped a hint" already killed the whole idea behind them. I have nothing against if you husband wants to show his appreciation that way, and if HE chooses to, that is part of what make the gift special. I think requesting one or expecting something extravagant is stupid. Plus we did this together, so I don't feel like I deserve more of a gift than the child I asked for. I did however get my husband a really nice watch he has wanted, to celebrate him becoming a dad. I never mentioned I did it so its a surprise and I don't expect anything in return, well I expect him to be my b!tch while I am recovering but thats a give in.
Ruined Whose idea? Yours? Well that's fine for you, but I certainly didn't ruin anything for myself since I will be getting it...and looking forward to seeing which charms he chose. And what's extravagant to you may not be to others. If my husband were a millionaire then diamonds would not be extravagant. As far as doing it together...again your perspective. I went through two rounds if IVF...I took the meds, I did the injections and I will do the labor. Yes it his child too, but lwt's cut the crap with the BS that men go through the same to get pregnant or to carry a pregnancy. My DH happily admits to anyone that he is proud of all that I was willing to do, bcs he wouldn't have been able to do a third of it. So he his happy to celebrate me going birth to his child and was happy to have me ask for something.

TO ME the idea of a thoughtful gift means my husband thought of it himself if you ask for something specific at a specific time why not just go buy it yourself its not a gift from him since you made him get it, unless of course you don't share an account therefore its makes a huge difference who purchases it. Its like having a bad day and texting him " Hey bring me flowers today" its just wouldn't be the same, to me. I think demanding anything is silly, but I guess I like the gifts I receive to have true meaning and that means it comes from the heart, and he had to take the time to think of something and pick it out. I am not against gifts ever I just think people that act entitled seem a little silly.

kiarstin · February 2012

satama:
I didn't ask for or expect anything with DS, but DH got me a necklace with the baby's birthstone that he gave me at the hospital. When we got home he also had a huge basket waiting for me with all the stuff I could not have while pregnant: wine, chocolate (I had GD), and other treats, there was also a gift card for a massage. That was a pretty freakin awesome present.

I did tell him this time I would like some wine and cadbury eggs (GD again), LOL.

That is super sweet!

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