Those having boys...circumcision?

jessicap70486 · February 2012

Dh and I always said that when we have a boy we will get him circumcised, but I've been doing a little reading about it and I think when DH gets home, I want to talk to him some more about it. So, I'm wondering, those having boys, already have boys, what made you decide to go ahead or not get your LO's circumcised? Have you thought about or talked about it yet? I wasn't aware that the having this procedure done is one of the only main surgeries that they don't use something stronger than a topical cream and its not fully recommeded by the APA.

MooseyMommyCO · February 2012

We didn't have our first son circumcised and will not be having this baby done either. I don't feel it is necessary, and am not willing to put my baby in pain for a cosmetic procedure. With our first baby we'd scheduled it, and then I did a bunch of research and decided against it.

KM121309 · February 2012

We decided no. Just un-ncecessary and want to give him the choice (if we have a boy.) Funny story, H isn't cut, but he wanted to cut Bug just cause it's "easier" but then we looked more into it and decided no. My family isn't going to be a fan because of religious reasons, but I take the New Testament's stance on it. To me it comes down to:

I don't want them taking my newborn away from me to cut a part of him off.
Why do it if you don't REALLY care as it is a cosmetic procedure? (If something happens later on down the road and he needs it for health reasons ---very rare--- he would probably get some sort of anesthetic.)
An un.circ'ed penis is NOT difficult to take care of.
It isn't a social issue anymore since only like half of boys his age WILL be circ..

KM121309 · February 2012

Also, decided that if we did it and he didn't like our decision, sure there are plastic surgeries to get the look, but he wouldn't get the same nerve endings, ect. It's permanent.

If we didn't and he didn't like it, he could get a surgery to correct our "mistake."

Kayte317 · February 2012

We will be having our son circumcised. It came down, to me and my husband, that it's more hygienic (I know there are a lot of things you can do so please don't flame me for saying that), my husband and my step-son are so they will all look the same, and for later in life I don't ever want the reason my son doesn't have safe sex to be because of his penis. There are a lot of strong arguments to each side. To us, it really came down to those 3 reasons.

apollonia10 · February 2012

We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

genkidesu · February 2012

we're having a girl, but we had already both decided that if we had a boy we would not circumcise. it's pretty much genital mutilation. we had already decided we wouldn't, but then i saw a procedure of it being done on youtube and HOLY CRAP that just confirmed my decision. the video wasn't bias in any way, it was just showing the doctor do the procedure, and wow. just cemented my decision.

camillaandcarson · February 2012

This blog helped the decision making process in my case

https://9davids.blogspot.com/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

genkidesu · February 2012

if you want the video, OP, let me know and i'll link it. i just didnt want to do it right away because it's graphic (i realize people dont HAVE to click the link, but still).

Jazibel · February 2012

We're not doing it for all the reasons PP said.

Vive · February 2012

DH is circumcised but we have decided not to have our son done. DH feels it won't change his ability to relate to our son, and I have no other reasons that can justify what is predominately a cosmetic procedure on a neonate.

eaglet2012 · February 2012

apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

this exactly.

also, OP, can-o-worms. pretty sure this has been discussed multiple times before, and it always leads to a huge debate. to each her own.

kmoleson1222 · February 2012

Both of my brothers were uncircumcised. When they found out my sister was having a boy and then I was having a boy 9 months later - they both beseeched us to get our boys circumcised. Apparently they both have issues with the noncircumcision that are medical and not just cosmetic. One of them chose to be circumcised at 20 years old and he wished he had be. Both of them swear it is best to be circumcised. So with that my husband was circumcised so we decided to go with it. It wasn't hard to care for or anything they way our OB did the circumcision...

Crystalnorris · February 2012

We are still debating the issue and both of us are leaning more heavily to NOT circumcising (sp?). The reasons for not outway the reason too get it done in my mind. Not to mention its a $500 procedure and considered cosmetic.

haleyjean84 · February 2012

DS and DH are. If this is a boy, he will be as well for reasons already listed above. FWIW, we didn't pay an extra dime for it--insurance did cover it. And it wasn't a big deal to take care of either. The OB who did the procedure on my son did a great job and it healed quickly.

ShelbyMadison04 · February 2012

If we have a boy, he will be circumcised. There was not a huge debate in our house; my husband said he wanted it done, I said I wanted it done, end of discussion.

As a nurse who currently works for a dermatologist, I cannot tell you how many times we have seen males of all ages come into our office with some sort of infection or irritation on their uncircumcised penis. That's not to say that people who are circ'ed don't have problems down there as well but we see a lot of people who are not that have a problem/rash/infection under that extra foreskin.

I witnessed several circumcisions while working in the maternity ward of a hospital. It is a quick, routine procedure. The baby has some discomfort for the 5 minute procedure. The baby likely will not remember this discomfort. For an adult male who chooses to have this done, it is extremely painful as most surgical centers only use a local anesthetic for the procedure and it takes a lot longer to perform the procedure on an adult versus an infant.

I also have seen patients come into our practice because the circumcision they had during adulthood has caused complications. One male continued to develop infections because the site wouldn't heal properly, causing pain and discomfort for months. Another male had a large amount of scar tissue develop, which then continually developed painful cysts on his penis and had to have each one surgically removed. Many patients state they wish their parents would have done it when they were a baby so they didn't have to deal with issues in adulthood.

This being said, I am not trying to sway someone's decision to circ or not to circ. I am just trying to state the facts presented later in life since so many people are arguing that it's cosmetic and genital mutilation and barbaric. I am not judging anyone who chooses not to circumcise their child and I think that a few too many posters are being far too judgemental towards the people who are choosing to circumcise their sons. To each their own.

ShelbyMadison04 · February 2012

Also, I kind of feel like when the male is an adult, do you really think they are sitting at home thinking, "Man, I wish I still had that foreskin attached to my penis. I curse my parents from taking that away from me!"

ShelbyMadison04 · February 2012

lissydee:

ugh I hate it when people come on and say its "quick and painless." I mean, sure some are. But some are not. I routinely assist MDs with this at my job (RN on an L&D unit) and I can personally vouch that yes, infants do feel pain, even with a penile block and oral sweeties. And when residents get mixed up in the procedure, it is far from quick.

IMO, as a medical professional, you are doing doing parents a disservice in saying its a simple procedure that is quick and painless and that they will never remember. Because that is not entirely true and saying so is not properly giving them true informed consent.

You are correct, not every single procedure is quick and painless. But a majority of them are. And I guarantee you if you ask anybody if they remember their circumcision as a newborn, most people will tell you no. I was simply stating that in most cases, it's far easier to have it done as a newborn versus having it done during adulthood. And as parents, we all have the right to request a specific doctor you are comfortable with doing the procedure rather than having a resident do the procedure if you prefer.

witt1029 · February 2012

If this LO is a boy we will not be circumcising him. The PP pretty much covered our reasoning.

I do think there are reasons to choose to have it done (decreased HIV transmission etc), but I do not think looking the same as daddy or locker room worries are particularly valid reasons to put our future child through a painful procedure. I think as long as parents make an informed decision on the pros/cons and come to an agreement together then that is what they should do.

ShelbyMadison04 · February 2012

lissydee:

ShelbyMadison04:
Also, I kind of feel like when the male is an adult, do you really think they are sitting at home thinking, "Man, I wish I still had that foreskin attached to my penis. I curse my parents from taking that away from me!"

actually there are many studies out there offering anecdotal evidence where men have mourned the loss. Mainly because it has greatly resulted in decreased sexual stimulation and pleasure. The foreskin plays an important role as a sex organ.

My husband is circumcised and has no complaints about his sexual stimulation and pleasure. He actually seems quite pleased.

Again, as I stated in my original post, I'm not trying to sway anyone's decision. I was simply giving my opinion and giving some examples of why I was choosing to circ just as some people gave their reasons not to because I saw that some people are kind of being attacked for choosing to circumcise their kid. Again, to each their own.

ShelbyMadison04 · February 2012

witt1029:

I think as long as parents make an informed decision on the pros/cons and come to an agreement together then that is what they should do.

THIS!

SallySunrise · February 2012

ShelbyMadison04:
I am not judging anyone who chooses not to circumcise their child and I think that a few too many posters are being far too judgemental towards the people who are choosing to circumcise their sons. To each their own.

I completely agree. I usually don't take part in the circ discussions for this reason, but I'll pop-in to say this before I step back from it again:

DS is circ'd, and it was not at all a decision taken lightly. It was researched extensively and discussed at length between DH and myself, my OB and our pediatrician. Yes, the less important issues were brought up (like DH is circ'd himself, most babies are in our region, therefore most of his friends will be) but those things were not at all the deciding factors. We did our research and we did what we thought was right for our child.

I appreciate a good discussion/debate, but I do not appreciate being judged for doing what DH and I determined as parents to be the best thing for our child. I do not judge anyone who makes the opposite choice, it upsets me that that respect doesn't usually go both ways.

Lreese6361 · February 2012

It is exspensive, but I called the insurance company and they cover it 100%. So if its a money thing then maybe you should double check with your insurance.

jellyjellybean · February 2012

DH is cut, DS is cut, this one will be as well. It was never really a discusion in our house, when they asked us at the hospital after DS was born we both said yes and that was that. Our pedi performed ours and insurance covered it 100%.

I respect other's choices and will admit that to my knowledge, I've never seen an uncirc'd penis. How's that for a FFFC thrown in?

blane2011 · February 2012

apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

IDK what I'm having yet but DH and I discussed and THIS for sure. Dh is circumcised and my son will be too.

StokedWifey · February 2012

apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

This.

I had a friend in college who was not circumcised and did it then. His doctor warned him that doing it at a later age is much more painful and inconvenient than having it done at birth. I wouldn't want him to have to go through that if he wanted to change it.

FollyOne · February 2012

If we have a boy, we are circumcising.

I wouldn't let the opinions of the women on this board interfere w/a decision DH and I have already made together. There are always extremists on both sides that are irrationally loud.

amandaleigh1 · February 2012

apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

We have not recently discussed this, but this is probably what will happen with us too. I lean against it, but I know my husband probably feels differently.

Truthsnark · February 2012

witt1029:

I think as long as parents make an informed decision on the pros/cons and come to an agreement together then that is what they should do.

Yep. This issue is not one to get on the soapbox for. There are pros and cons for both sides and it's up to the parents to make their own decision. I will say for pure demographic information that we are not going to have it done.

cwalker1031 · February 2012

Our LO will be. DH mentioned it before we knew what we were having. It was something I had really thought about. When I mentioned it to my mom she reminded me that when my cousin was 12 he ended up with a horrible infection and was in the hospital for a week. That was enough for me to agree to having it done.

brennarobbie · February 2012

chipmunk112511:
apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

AMEN! Couldnt have said it better myself, so yes we are are snipping him.

EDIT : Also to above, yes I have a choice in the matter, but seeing as I have NO clue how it affects me because I do not have experience having one, its hard to say yes or no. My fiance feels its cleaner and he enjoyed having it done vs his friends that didnt who had pain later in life from stretching, pulling ect.

This is mostly how I feel, so I'm letting my husband who I love and trust have most of the say-so in the decision. He wants to have it done. I don't really have a preference either way.

I do believe that because this is such a sensitive subject, and since each opinion is so strong either for or against, that we can't judge or condone someone else for their decision.

I completely see the reasons/research for not having the procedure done, but I also know of the benefits of having it done too. We personally know a friend from high school whose parents left it up to him to decide whether he wanted it done or not, and he did. So they let him have the surgery. It was extremely painful for him and a much longer healing process. He said he wished his parents had had it done for him as a baby. ...but again, that was HIS opinion, and not necessarily everyone's.

coloradogirl06 · February 2012

For DS, we did the research, talked to friends who did and did not circ, and ultimately I let DH decide. I didn't feel passionately enough about it one way or the other, so it was his decision.

WiFeY 4 LiFeY · February 2012

Our first is, and we will with our second. To us it is important. DS1 never seemed bothered by it, and they didnt use the cream. The nice thing about it is DS1 had it done when he was 3days old and he will never rememeber it! His pedi office gives the babies a paci with sugar water on it, and he went to town on that while they were doing the circ. thats all he noticed lol

masurwedding · February 2012

lissydee:
and r.e. doing it so that they can "look" like daddy...are they really going to be sitting around comparing penises one day? And if the ? even comes up, why not use it as a teaching point that not all people look the same etc?

I feel like this could be a very healthy discussion for people actually wanting to hear arguments both for and against to help then with a decision. I do not think it's right to put people down for their opinions on the matter.

That being said, we are still talking about it and have more to read. Right now we're leaning towards having it done. DH is not but his friend had to be when he was 6 and he said it was the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Horrible pain even after the surgery. Not the only reason, but something for us to consider.

LauraGrayNCSU · February 2012

brennarobbie:
chipmunk112511:

apollonia10:
We're having our son circumcised. We have several reasons for doing it, but DH got the deciding vote because he's got a penis and I don't.

AMEN! Couldnt have said it better myself, so yes we are are snipping him.

EDIT : Also to above, yes I have a choice in the matter, but seeing as I have NO clue how it affects me because I do not have experience having one, its hard to say yes or no. My fiance feels its cleaner and he enjoyed having it done vs his friends that didnt who had pain later in life from stretching, pulling ect.

This is mostly how I feel, so I'm letting my husband who I love and trust have most of the say-so in the decision. He wants to have it done. I don't really have a preference either way.

I do believe that because this is such a sensitive subject, and since each opinion is so strong either for or against, that we can't judge or condone someone else for their decision.

I completely see the reasons/research for not having the procedure done, but I also know of the benefits of having it done too. We personally know a friend from high school whose parents left it up to him to decide whether he wanted it done or not, and he did. So they let him have the surgery. It was extremely painful for him and a much longer healing process. He said he wished his parents had had it done for him as a baby. ...but again, that was HIS opinion, and not necessarily everyone's.

Very well said.

jaimeandblake · February 2012

Personally, we will not be. My husband is not, my brothers are not, i know a lot of other people that are not, and they have never had a single issue. As far as cleanliness, that comes down to the parent. It is your responsibility to learn how to properly care for your child and then to teach them how to care for themselves as they get older. I have been with men that are both intact and circ'd and have to say that honestly the experiences with the intact have been much more pleasurable for myself and it seemed for them, although I am sure this varies. I personally could tell immediately with an intact penis that is was much more sensitive than with past circ'd partners. However, a boy who is circ'd as an infant won't know any differently so I think that voids that argument. If you never knew it could be different/better you won't ever miss it. I think it is also important to note that the reason some nurses and health professionals see so many infections/issues is because that is the only time a man is going to go to the doctor, it really does not say anything in terms of circumcision itself. No guy is going to take his healthy penis (intact or circ'd) to the doctor and be like "hey can you take a look at this?" so obviously you are only goign to see worst case scenarios in the health field. This is NOT the norm. However, it really is a to each their own argument. I am just glad that the social norm has changed a bit and the old argument of "i don't want my son to be the only one in the locker room, and made fun of" has died off, because personally I think that was the worst argument of them all! Oh and, really? Do you want your sons ending up marrying someone who wouldn't have loved them as much if they had foreskin? Personally I want the woman that marries my son to love him for who he is not just his penis! I see both sides of the arguments and think it is a personal decision but I do think decisions should be made for what the parents believe not for peer pressure reasons in either case. GL ladies!

jlthompson19 · February 2012

Do we really want a generation of boys/men running around wanting sex MORE b/c it feels better????

Kidding. We haven't made a decision yet, we're looking at all the research we can.

brennarobbie · February 2012

(sorry, I had posted earlier but didn't see it)

)

J.Johnson-Smith · February 2012

lissydee:
ShelbyMadison04:
Also, I kind of feel like when the male is an adult, do you really think they are sitting at home thinking, "Man, I wish I still had that foreskin attached to my penis. I curse my parents from taking that away from me!"

actually there are many studies out there offering anecdotal evidence where men have mourned the loss. Mainly because it has greatly resulted in decreased sexual stimulation and pleasure. The foreskin plays an important role as a sex organ.

I respect your fervor on this topic, but to play devils advocate I have to say I have yet to meet a circumcised man who doesn't enjoy sex.

meredith1987 · February 2012

I don't mean to laugh, but this whole conversation has kept me incredibly entertained. Call me naive, but I didn't even know it was a hot topic? As parents we are responsible for doing what we feel is best for our child. And as stupid as it may sound to some, tradition and culture plays a role regardless of which way you may decide. I'm not exactly sure I'm ready to think of my not even born son as a sexually active adult but as parents we will choose to have our son circumcised, and if the norm changes then so be it, but we're making our decision based on the research and experiences we've had. Aren't we all?

Vixey529 · February 2012

We are not having it done. I am not comfortable at all with handing over my newborn to some doctor who will strap him to a table and cut off part of his body with perhaps minimal pain relief.

I've done some research and found NO medical need for having this done, and I am so glad that my DH agrees with me on this!

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