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Embarrassing thoughts...

TiffanyatspTiffanyatsp
in Postpartum Depression

We tried to have a baby and with the help of Clomid got pregnant.

I started to have a mix of emotions.  I started to think "I'm not ready".  I started to panic.  I cried wondering if I would love the baby, be a good mom.  I was worried about not getting attention from my Husband.  I admit I've always been a selfish person.  

I really wanted a boy.  I remember my Mom always being closer to my brother than me and being jealous of my close relationship with my father. (We are best friends now)  When we found out we were having a girl and I saw how protective my husband was starting to get of her already made me feel anxious and afraid...that I would resent her in some way.  

 

I know I sound completely insane.  I have to have a c-section on Tuesday and won't be able to hold her till after I get in the recovery room..   Killing me that they get to bond first.   WHY AM I ACTING SO CRAZY??    

IAmPregnant Ticker
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Re: Embarrassing thoughts...

  • astroMomastroMom member

    Hormones!

    Try to give yourself a break, but if you continue to have sad/anxious feelings, then you should talk to your OB and/or see a therapist.

    Try not to label yourself as selfish/crazy.  There are so many emotions going on right now, mama, especially if you have already gone through the stress of IF.  *hugs* 

    DS born 8/2010 - preliminary stages of SN int'l adoption - fur mama to 2 shelter dogs;  cloth diapering, babywearing, EBFing mama

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  • angelicalopez29angelicalopez29
     your thoughts are influencing your behavior, thus your feelings..... you are anticipating with fear something unknown, you should try to relax,don't let the thought of the "what if's" disturb you... and if you feel you cant shake them off, I suggest seeing a therapist to help you... every mother has the fear of "not loving your baby" or "not bonding" and it is normal when you are a first time mom (IMHO) and even with your second child... but again, if you feel like this thoughts and feelings are not letting you get through the day, you should seek for help.... God Bless!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • laoch101laoch101

    I totally was a daddy's girl but I still needed my mom. There are things happening now that I wish my mom were her to help with. I'm glad I have my dad.

    I remember my mom saying she was jealous of our relationship. Which I never understood. I love my dad and he loved me. But there's was no way he thought of me as a substitute to his wife. The relationships are just different.

    I can look back and remember tons of things of my mom taught me. Enjoy that your husband loves your daughter and remember your not alone. You will have so many moments to bond. Remember she knows your voice right now more than his.

    My niece is a total mom as girl but loves her daddy too.

    Breathe and let yourself love your baby. You'll get to hold her soon. 

    Just think she'll poop on him first, lol. 

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