We tried to have a baby and with the help of Clomid got pregnant.
I started to have a mix of emotions. I started to think "I'm not ready". I started to panic. I cried wondering if I would love the baby, be a good mom. I was worried about not getting attention from my Husband. I admit I've always been a selfish person.
I really wanted a boy. I remember my Mom always being closer to my brother than me and being jealous of my close relationship with my father. (We are best friends now) When we found out we were having a girl and I saw how protective my husband was starting to get of her already made me feel anxious and afraid...that I would resent her in some way.
I know I sound completely insane. I have to have a c-section on Tuesday and won't be able to hold her till after I get in the recovery room.. Killing me that they get to bond first. WHY AM I ACTING SO CRAZY??