I saw a new ob/gyn this week, and had to fill out an extensive questionnaire. I feel very tripped up by the question about number of pregnancies vs number of kids.
I had 3 pregnancies, all ending in m/c. But I have DD, so I never know what to put in the "# of children" column. I have one, she's just not the result of any of my pregnancies.
Am I making sense? WDYD?
Re: Odd question for the former IFers
I have written in the margins that my two daughters are both adopted.
Having grown up w/one sibling... and she was adopted, I have had to make this disinction my whole life. For purposes of medicine, my sister's health history has little to do w/mine.
After 5.5 years of loss, heartbreak, and empty arms, our dreams were fulfilled through the beautiful, selfless gift of adoption. We are amazingly blessed!
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Totally makes sense! Talk about a grey area, huh?
I would make the distinction on the paperwork for medical purposes. Just write in underneath or beside number of children the word adopted.
I would also, just to make sure, let the new doc know. They tell you to be honest and up front so they have your whole medical history, and from all the docs I've seen, it is better to let them know and them not need that information, than not tell them and then find out they needed to know. (Although I admit I don't know why they would need to know, but when it comes to docs, I err on the side of overshare.)
Ah, but I'm not an MD! I'm a PhD, but everyone just assumes.
I ended up putting 1* and (adopted) in the margin, but for a moment I felt weird making DD an asterisk.
*sigh*
I've been where you are ( still am sometimes). When I gave birth to youngest DD, every nurse that walked through the door asked if she was my first and I would say yes, assuming they meant first pregnancy. Then I would say something about one of my older kids and they would look at me funny and a few even asked what I meant and I had to explain that they were adopted. The funniest was when the women who makes sure you know how to care for a newborn came in ( don't remember her title). She wanted to give me extensive training (think diapering, burping , giving a bath,etc) and I told her I felt confident that I knew how to care for DD. She argued that her paper work said that this was my first pregnancy. I countered with it was my first pregnancy but not my first child or even my first newborn. Even after I explained, she was confused and ticked off.
For medical purposes, they just need to know how many pregnacies and if they were successful or not. They also need to know about children, adopted, step, foster etc, because it may have some impact on your health. I.E. you might catch a "childhood illness" from your child. ( not sure what the OB would do with this information but I agree with PP who said they tend to overshare just to be safe).
When I have to fill out forms, it gets really weird. I have had 6 possibly 7 pregnancies but only one live birth....and I have 4 children who aren't quads. That always freaks people out and leads to a lengthy explanation!
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I just filled out updated paperwork too. I put down zero preganancies and one child. Although we did many IF treatments, I never ever got pregnant, even for 5 minutes. I always wonder if they think it's a mistake initially. But he didn't even ask me about it. I just told him we had finally adopted since i hadn't seen him since it all happened.
Like someone else said, I'd probably put one for number of children and notate that she's adopted.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!