Odd question for the former IFers

Dr.Loretta

I saw a new ob/gyn this week, and had to fill out an extensive questionnaire. I feel very tripped up by the question about number of pregnancies vs number of kids.

I had 3 pregnancies, all ending in m/c. But I have DD, so I never know what to put in the "# of children" column. I have one, she's just not the result of any of my pregnancies.

Am I making sense? WDYD?

silliestbunny

I have written in the margins that my two daughters are both adopted.

Having grown up w/one sibling... and she was adopted, I have had to make this disinction my whole life.  For purposes of medicine, my sister's health history has little to do w/mine.

lady_chance_99

You're making sense, and its a legit question! I would assume that you might do one of two things (or more specifically I would do one of two things lol) first would be to put one child and then just mention when they go over your form that your child was adopted and that you haven't had any successful pregnancies, or you can just put zero and assume that they are specifically asking about children born from those pregnancies. Knowing me, (for whatever this is worth) I would probably put one and explain... GL and thanks for bringing this up! I can't wait to see what everyone else thinks.

kekis

I believe most paperwork I've ever completed had number of pregnancies and number of births, but that is an interesting situation that both fits me & I hope to be in soon!.  I'd probably put zero successful pg/one child and explain to the doc.  Plus, a good doc he/she would ask for clarification.  You could use it as a test.  

lafayettegirl

Totally makes sense! Talk about a grey area, huh?

I would make the distinction on the paperwork for medical purposes. Just write in underneath or beside number of children the word adopted.

I would also, just to make sure, let the new doc know. They tell you to be honest and up front so they have your whole medical history, and from all the docs I've seen, it is better to let them know and them not need that information, than not tell them and then find out they needed to know. (Although I admit I don't know why they would need to know, but when it comes to docs, I err on the side of overshare.)

Dr.Loretta

fredalina:

As an MD you should know this answer already (the signature cracks me up).

Ah, but I'm not an MD! I'm a PhD, but everyone just assumes.

I ended up putting 1* and (adopted) in the margin, but for a moment I felt weird making DD an asterisk.

*sigh*

Cissi64

I've been where you are ( still am sometimes).  When I gave birth to youngest DD, every nurse that walked through the door asked if she was my first and I would say yes, assuming they meant first pregnancy.  Then I would say something about one of my older kids and they would look at me funny and a few even asked what I meant and I had to explain that they were adopted.  The funniest was when the women who  makes sure you know how to care for a newborn came in ( don't remember her title).  She wanted to give me extensive training (think diapering, burping , giving a bath,etc) and I told her  I felt confident that I knew how to care for DD.  She argued that her paper work said that this was my first pregnancy. I countered with it was my first pregnancy but not my first child or even my first newborn. Even after I explained, she was confused and ticked off. 

For medical purposes, they just need to know how many pregnacies and if they were successful or not. They also need to know about children, adopted, step, foster etc, because it may have some impact on your health.  I.E. you might catch a "childhood illness" from your child. ( not sure what the OB would do with this information but I agree with PP who said they tend to overshare just to be safe).

When I  have to fill out forms, it gets really weird.  I have had 6 possibly 7 pregnancies but only one live birth....and I have 4 children who aren't quads.  That always freaks people out and leads to a lengthy explanation!

militarywife2b

In almost 9 years I have had over 20 m/c and 1 on the way through adoption. Since it is part of my medical history as painful and a blessing as it is DS is coming to us via adoption and I am so greateful for it.

kmkaull2

I've run into that situation a few times now, too.  I've done the same thing--put "1 child (adopted, 2 years)" on the line. 

kgs0505

I just filled out updated paperwork too.  I put down zero preganancies and one child.  Although we did many IF treatments, I never ever got pregnant, even for 5 minutes.  I always wonder if they think it's a mistake initially.  But he didn't even ask me about it.  I just told him we had finally adopted since i hadn't seen him since it all happened.

Like someone else said, I'd probably put one for number of children and notate that she's adopted.