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Baby Showers
Hosting Myself (=O The Horror!)
I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but yes, I am hosting my own "shower".
It's more casual, a bbq at the park, with only guests who are family, good friends and people who's showers I have previously attended. (11 in the last 4 months, one of whom I had never even met!) (Also, most of these people have already mentioned they had gotten bubs a gift already, and assuming my mum would plan a shower, I told people to wait until then to pass them on) Seeing that Christmas and New Years were creeping up and time was running out afterwards, (I'm due 6th Feb) I asked my mum whether she was planning one and she said no, she's really not sociable, so myself and a couple of my good friends have decided to have a bbq at the park. I have most of the things I need, even down to the steriliser and nail clippers, so I REALLY don't mind if i don't get much at all, but I wanted a chance to have a catch up with my close friends and family before they're all too scared to come to my house because of a pink, screaming, pooing, spewing machine. Plus, I probably won't be having anymore kids, so this will be the last time they'll see me pregnant!
I'll be putting on softdrink, sausage sizzle, nibblies etc. What I'd like to know is, what should I give for prizes? I'm going to do the "don't say baby" game with nappy pins, the string around the belly game, I'm bringing coloured paper cutouts for everyone to write a message to bubby for her scrapbook, for her to read when she's older, the guess the weight, time, length etc cards (I'll probably get a gift voucher for this one, obv once she's born) And I'm thinking of doing up little lolly bags with all pink lollies in them as a little thankyou for attending, along with the posted out thankyous later on.
What were the best prizes you've seen at baby showers? (And things that aren't just going to collect dust on a shelf if possible!)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Hosting Myself (=O The Horror!)
I'm thinking you don't live in the USA? If you do though...scratch off lottery cards are good prizes. When I've done that, the guests loved them. They don't collect dust and I've seen several that have been "winners". One woman won a couple of hundred dollars! Nice prize.
Why don't you just call it a BBQ instead of a shower so you don't look so tacky? People will still bring their gifts, especially since you've told everyone to hold on to them until the "party". Obviously, you know what you propose is not proper etiquette so just change up the name of the party...or just put your "couple of friends" down as the hostess instead of yourself if you still want to call it a shower.
I'm honestly confused. If it's not about the presents and is about hanging out with friends, why did you point out that you're inviting everyone who had a shower in the last 4 months, including one you had never even met.
Why did you point out that "well, it's the people who told me they already bought me something and I told them to wait until the shower to give them to me" (or however you worded it).
Sorry, don't really buy it.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Hahaha...I'll play.
1) You could put on the invitation that everyone is supposed to dress super tacky and then have everyone vote who looks the tackiest. That's right in theme with this shower
2) For prizes, you could give out some books on good manners and see if hopefully one of your guests lets you keep it so that you might get a clue.
3) Play some sort of "would you rather" game. For instance "would you rather attend a shower thrown by the mother-to-be herself or wear fishnets and a skanktastic dress to wedding?" or "would you rather spend your money on a gift she doesn't need/want, even though she threw herself a shower, which is by definition, a gift-giving event, or simply flush your money down the drain?" or "would you rather know that she knows this isn't right to do but did it anyway or just think that she's clueless and ill-mannered?"
Do any of these seem good to you?
And this made me LOL:
Plus, I probably won't be having anymore kids, so this will be the last time they'll see me pregnant!
Oh, yes, that is what everyone just CAN"T wait to do... get to see you PG one last time. OH! The excitement....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
1) This is pertinent information, that, had you included it, you would have gotten zero flack on this board. If you truly added this in the invite, then you are doing what most of the women on this board would have reccomened that you do.
2) You must have known that you were going to get flamed becaue of the title of your post.
3) Thank you for the lesson on childraising. I had already planned on not raising a classless tacky rude douchcanoe, but thanks for the reminder.
Yes! My hostesses gave out small bottles of wine as prizes.
Totally agree, mean girls
Yes, I am totally this mean IRL if that's how you see it. I only tell the truth. If my friend said "I know it's terrible and I know it's wrong, but I'm going to have an affair," I wouldn't worry about her feelings in my rebuttal. If someone said "I know it's tacky to have a huge wedding with the big white dress on my third marriage, but I'm going to do it anyway!", I would totally tell her about it. When someone comes on here and basically says "I know I shouldn't do it, but I'm totally hosting my own shower", she's opening herself up to criticism, especially if she's ever read this board before. If she had clarified to begin with, all would've been avoided.
Thank you.
I didn't realize you we're in the states or I would have suggested something different! I'd run with the wine idea though! My favorite wine is from Australia! (Black Swan Moscato) 
Maybe gift someone a good wine with a complementary cheese?
You mean apostrophes?
FTMFW!
You said it all for me, thanks!
Any time.
I seriously laughed at the graphic. They're called quotation marks though =P
1 "inverted comma" is an apostrophe...two "inverted commas" are quotation marks.
I don't care if it's inverted commas or horseshoes, if you call it a shower, we're going to treat it as such. Like someone said, when you leave off half the story and purposely aw it around like "hee hee, I know this is taboo, but I'm doing it anyways" you know what you are setting yourself up for.
Let's say I'm going to write a post and it's going to say "I was so crazy busy, I didn't even feed my kid or change his diaper all day!". People are going to call CPS on me. However, what really happened is that I've been at work and my child was being taken care of by my husband. He's had three well rounded meals, a number of snacks, clean as a whistle and hasn't wanted for a single thing in the last 24 hours, but people are ready to call CPS because I only told half the story.
Moral of the story, tell the whole story and stop being an aw.
Call me mean if you want, I don't wake up in the morning to please you.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I have a girl crush on you Balls.
Lmao, a&e, Liz---you two are strange.
Picture is unrelated.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
1) "so myself and a couple of my good friends have decided to have a bbq at the park."
I really didn't think I needed to add more information than this, the post was long enough already. People just decided to take what they wanted from what I'd written and come at me all guns blazing. I thought I'd give a bit of background to why I was asking for ideas for prizes.
2) Yes, I realised there may be some people who would still decide to have a go, so I tried to make light of it with sarcasm, I didn't think they'd be as nasty or as critical as they were though. This website is meant to be about supporting each other, not being cruel and downright b**chy.
3) No problem.
bump burp
I guess my confusion comes from the fact that it's either a shower (games, gift-centric, door prizes, should be hosted by someone that's not the mom or dad to be) or it's a bbq (non-gift focused, etc).
I can't remember the last time I received an invite to a casual bbq that mentioned whether not gifts were expected of me. I don't recall going to a non-gift giving or non-charity event where I received any type of prize for a game played that wasn't directly related to the game ( for example, winning a game of poker would result in winning the money in the pot).
Even with your "clarifications" I still don't see how you're not attempting to have your cake and eat it too. You are either hosting your own shower or a casual bbq (and shouldn't be mentioning gifts anywhere in the invite). If this really was just a casual request for ideas for prizes and not an attention grabbing "I don't care what you b!tches think, I'm hosting my shower, now help me plan it!" you didn't need to mention anything but "Hey, I'm planning a co-ed, casual shower and I need some fun, unique ideas for door prizes. Help!"
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
My apologies for not clarifying to your standard, as I responded above to someone else, I thought the post was long enough, I did say that we'd decided to have a bbq, and I've already explained why I posted it under the "Baby Shower" section of the site. Perhaps you could read everything that was written before planning your attacks, or point me in the direction of the "I'm having a bbq to catch up with my friends for a good day in the sun, and know that some will be bringing gifts for the baby, so would like to show my appreciation by getting some cool prizes that they can actually find a use for and enjoy as much as I will enjoy and appreciate their gift" forums, because I just can't seem to find them.
I think that if you really reacted as harshly as what you did to my response, to one of your friends IRL, you wouldn't have any friends anymore, so your life would be hassle free. It's easy to be a keyboard warrior. Thanks for your ideas for prizes, and for reading my question so thoroughly, enough to miss the fact that I am not classing it as a Baby Shower, and then for having the nerve to justify it with a pathetic "If she had clarified to begin with, all would've been avoided. "
It's not my problem if you see what you want to see. Obviously you just had a bad day and felt like taking it out on someone. Because I see absolutely no need for you to have been as horrible as you were. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.
Have a great day!
https://www.ergonis.com/products/tips/punctuation-apostrophes-quotation-marks.php
Sorry, the line for sugar-coating starts over at your moms house.
If it's not a baby shower, you shouldn't mention gifts anywhere on the invite and playing shower games. If you're not open to opinions on etiquette, don't post on a board focusing on etiquette. If you're not open to opinions that might not line up with yours, don't post on the internet. I have plenty of friends, so my feelings aren't hurt that you don't want to be one. Guess what they often tell me? "You know, I know I can come to you for the honest truth" Like I tell my three year olds at preschool "I can love you without liking what you're doing right now". Maybe you're not confident enough with yourself or your friends to have that kind of open relationship with them, but that's not my fault. Just because I don't support my friend being tacky, doesn't mean I don't support them.
I guess in a world where everyone gets ribbons for playing sports, an honest dissenting opinion comes off as "z0mG mEaN!!1!", but once again, that's not my fault so I'm not apologizing for it.
To address your OP though: https://bit.ly/wve0sO
To address your sarcastic "I'm having a bbq to catch up with my friends for a good day in the sun, and know that some will be bringing gifts for the baby, so would like to show my appreciation by getting some cool prizes that they can actually find a use for and enjoy as much as I will enjoy and appreciate their gift" board, here you go:
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/4110107/ShowForum.aspx
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I didn't call it a shower. Your argument is purely for the sake of it being an argument.
I didn't leave off half the story, I put in as much information as I saw necessary. Would you like to know also the layout of the park, the weather forecast for the day and the ratio of water to cordial for the children's drinks?!
What you saw necessary, was to ignore the actual point of the post, and pick a fight, for no reason, other than just because it seemed like a good idea and the right thing for you to do. Instead of suggesting an idea. If you don't have any ideas for prizes, like I asked, don't respond. I don't see how that concept is so hard to grasp.
Thanks.
This is your OP, as you can see, you clearly said that you are hosting your own shower, not just a bbq where you might bring presents so I'll give out prizes blah, blah, blah like you claim in later posts. Saying we are misreading what you said because you didn't want to be completely clear because your post was already too long is cr@p. Write what you mean and mean what you write.
I stand firmly behind everything that Ballsox wrote because I am too d@mn tired to write it myself and she is more eloquent than I can be at the moment.
So it's either not a shower and it's tacky because you are mentioning gifts in the invite, playing "guess how huge the hostess stomach is" and other baby shower games and it's perfectly fine that you are hosting
or
it's a shower and it's perfectly acceptable to mention gifts and play games and the only thing tacky is the fact that you're hosting it.
If you don't want opinions on your poor etiquette choices, don't post on a public board that focuses mostly on proper etiquette. Google is your friend.
Either way:
I'm done giving you the attention you're so desperately needing. I can only explain things so simply before I am just repeating myself.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
The irony that some are giving "advice" (note the inverted commas,
) on manners in such a rude fashion seems to be lost on some folks around here. 
Oh, well.
I've been to plenty of cookouts (that's what we call barbecues here in North Carolina if there's no pig-cooking going on) where games were played, so I don't see much of an issue there. Prizes for said games are usually reserved for holidays, such as Easter or Independence Day, or for birthdays and anniversaries, but if that's what you want to do, I think it's fine. We're doing gift cards and small coffee-related items (similar to what another previous poster mentioned, coffee mugs, coffee/tea samplers, etc.) for the games in our case, and then reserving food stuffs and gifty-type things for the favor bags to be distributed as guests depart.
(Yes, I said WE, because the person throwing my shower has asked for my help in planning/hosting, as he's very young and has never done this sort of thing before. Also, he can't cook, and he makes less than we do, so we're helping with the costs, too. If that makes me tacky in some people's eyes, so be it. They don't know our situation, nor do they know our circle of friends, so what works for us might not work for them. But, it works for us, and that's what matters.)
As to mentioning gifts in the invitation, that's a bit of a grey area in my neck of the woods. Here, we put specific instructions about gift-giving in our invitations (be them printed or electronic) for anything BUT wedding invites or bridal showers because there's a HUGE cross-section of cultural representations here, so we find it to be better to head off potentially offensive or awkward incidents by being upfront with what is expected of folks. Most people thank us for it, but again, it isn't everyone's cup of tea.
Hope that helps, OP. (Oh, and you've got a PM. Thought you'd like to know.)
Have to agree, there are more TACTFUL ways to express your comments