3rd trimester attitudes...

misskates999 · January 2012

I'm on bedrest, so I have been spending a lot of time cruising the 3rd trimester message boards and I must say, what is with all the attitude ladies!? I know I get irritated VERY easily these days, and am naturally a cynical and sarcastic person, but some of the replies I've been reading on these posts are just mean. Its okay to disagree with what someone else posted, but isn't the point of this community to be able to vent, ask for advice, seek support, etc, from other women who find themselves in similar situations to our own? Why can't you just say "well, I disagree, this is how I feel" instead of flying off the handle and getting super snarky? A few posts I have read through the replies would make me feel pretty shitty if I were the original poster.. I know that's not what I come here for, to be spoken down to and made to feel stupid or selfish, lets just back off a bit ladies! You know who you are!

salt78 · January 2012

Oh boy.

Have you ever checked out 1st or 2nd tri? I think this board is way tame compared to both of those.

Basically, this is a public forum with many different personalities, so you are going to get many different tones here. And in my opinion, that's okay. We are all adults here and there is really no need to try to police how people respond. I mean this in the most non-snarky way possible, but you aren't going to change the tone of this forum with your post.

If this really does bother you though, there are several other pregnancy forums out there that might be more your speed. And if you do want to stick around, that's cool too. Just block the people you don't like.

nzmum · January 2012

salt78:

Oh boy.

Have you ever checked out 1st or 2nd tri? I think this board is way tame compared to both of those.

You should definietly go lurk on Tri One. It all happens over there haha

greeneyed_bride · January 2012

You don't like snark and attitude, and I don't like when people try to tell other adults what they are and aren't allowed to say on a public forum. Today, we both had to read some things we found annoying.

Honestly, though - people come here for opinions. You aren't going to like everyone's opinion, nor are you going to like the way in which some people share their opinion. That's life. I think that people know that by soliciting opinions on a public forum, there's a chance of hearing things they don't like. If hearing opinions they don't like affects a person's self esteem, they probably shouldn't be on a public message board.

I will agree that sometimes people can be unnecessarily harsh or mean, but I don't think anyone was really out of control today.

LuckyBride06 · January 2012

I agree to an extent. I'm not on often at all and it's my 2nd baby so I've been here before. When I see specific subjects/questions, I KNOW what the responses will be even before I open the post! Sometimes I agree, sometimes I think "geez, relax!!!" I totally feel like it's a continuous cycle of the same responses...

3 examples I see VERY often:

1. Someone who isn't 40 weeks pregnant or more asking about natural induction methods (primrose, walking, etc)... this person will be ripped to shreads bc they want their baby to come too early and they're not "full term" yet so they shouldnt be thinking of that stuff!! Sorry ladies, flame if you must, at 38 weeks I will be doing all I can to get the ball rolling....

2. Someone who complains/vents about their baby shower.... they will get ripped by people claiming that they're unappreciative and selfish and should be happy they had a shower.

3. Someone brings up circumcision... OH NO! Don't even bring up that subject!

JFH2010 · January 2012

greeneyed_bride:
I will agree that sometimes people can be unnecessarily harsh or mean, but I don't think anyone was really out of control today.

This is what I was thinking. There are many times when I wish people would be more tactful, but I didn't see anything terrible today. Giving your opinion on a post you disagree with is not the same as being rude.

allisonmarie22 · January 2012

Lurking from 2nd trimester.

It's funny how this topic comes up on all 3 of the trimester boards about once a week.

Seriously?? Why the hell keep bringing it up? We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.

I think The Bump needs a Fairy Dust and Unicorns board for the people who can't handle a little snark...or reality. They could all just go over there and sing Kumbaya.

speckledfrog · January 2012

I think you are being a bit hormonal.

luckylindy · January 2012

greeneyed_bride:
You don't like snark and attitude, and I don't like when people try to tell other adults what they are and aren't allowed to say on a public forum. Today, we both had to read some things we found annoying.
Honestly, though - people come here for opinions. You aren't going to like everyone's opinion, nor are you going to like the way in which some people share their opinion. That's life. I think that people know that by soliciting opinions on a public forum, there's a chance of hearing things they don't like. If hearing opinions they don't like affects a person's self esteem, they probably shouldn't be on a public message board.
I will agree that sometimes people can be unnecessarily harsh or mean, but I don't think anyone was really out of control today.

Have to agree on this one.

Personally, I don't tolerate stupidity/ignorance in real life so I'm definitely not going to tolerate it on a public forum. I'm one of those people that tells it like it is whether someone likes it or not. If that offends, so be it.

For the record I think most of the snark comes from the consistently ignorant posts about the same things. There have been a million posts about hospital bags, mucous plugs, baby showers, and the always fun inductions/induction methods. If a poster can't find the time to use the search function then I'm not going to find the time to be all puppies and rainbows.

JFH2010 · January 2012

allisonmarie22:
Lurking from 2nd trimester.
It's funny how this topic comes up on all 3 of the trimester boards about once a week.
Seriously?? Why the hell keep bringing it up? We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.
I think The Bump needs a Fairy Dust and Unicorns board for the people who can't handle a little snark...or reality. They could all just go over there and sing Kumbaya.

OK, this is the sort of post that strikes me as unnecessary. Surely you're bright enough to find a more articulate way to express your opinion (farting rainbows? really? that ridiculously overused phrase is the best you can do?). But that sh!t will keep coming, so the best you can do, OP, is to make your own posts sensible and ignore the ones that aren't.

rachel.wenger · January 2012

allisonmarie22:

We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.

Where can I find this bumper sticker???!!! I NEED IT ASAP!!! Big Smile

speckledfrog · January 2012

allisonmarie22:
Lurking from 2nd trimester.
It's funny how this topic comes up on all 3 of the trimester boards about once a week.
Seriously?? Why the hell keep bringing it up? We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.
I think The Bump needs a Fairy Dust and Unicorns board for the people who can't handle a little snark...or reality. They could all just go over there and sing Kumbaya.

I change my answer to this.

addam&tara · January 2012

I'm seriously glad you said something. I wanted to... but didn't know how to approach it without getting a TON of backlash. Hopefully... your post will help shed some light that we are all here with a common goal... babies!

luckylindy · January 2012

allisonmarie22:
Lurking from 2nd trimester.
It's funny how this topic comes up on all 3 of the trimester boards about once a week.
Seriously?? Why the hell keep bringing it up? We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.
I think The Bump needs a Fairy Dust and Unicorns board for the people who can't handle a little snark...or reality. They could all just go over there and sing Kumbaya.

Love that!

anewmrsS · January 2012

luckylindy:
greeneyed_bride:
You don't like snark and attitude, and I don't like when people try to tell other adults what they are and aren't allowed to say on a public forum. Today, we both had to read some things we found annoying.
Honestly, though - people come here for opinions. You aren't going to like everyone's opinion, nor are you going to like the way in which some people share their opinion. That's life. I think that people know that by soliciting opinions on a public forum, there's a chance of hearing things they don't like. If hearing opinions they don't like affects a person's self esteem, they probably shouldn't be on a public message board.
I will agree that sometimes people can be unnecessarily harsh or mean, but I don't think anyone was really out of control today.

Have to agree on this one.
Personally, I don't tolerate stupidity/ignorance in real life so I'm definitely not going to tolerate it on a public forum. I'm one of those people that tells it like it is whether someone likes it or not. If that offends, so be it.
For the record I think most of the snark comes from the consistently ignorant posts about the same things. There have been a million posts about hospital bags, mucous plugs, baby showers, and the always fun inductions/induction methods. If a poster can't find the time to use the search function then I'm not going to find the time to be all puppies and rainbows.

I agree with this! Do a search before asking the same questions over and over again. At this point most of us have already been through the same insanity through the 1st and 2nd tri boards as well, by the time we get here, we're tired of it, and less likely to try and sugarcoat things.

Then come the people asking for opinions, and getting angry when the opinions don't match theirs. if you come on a public forum seeking opinions, don't expect them all to be the same as yours. Different people get different information, and have different experiences. Do some research before asking questions that could become heated debates.

crogers19 · January 2012

HopingForOne · January 2012

I don't always like the way people respond on here, and yes, I think sometimes people are unnecessarily harsh. And I don't find it necessary (But then again, not to be rude, but I don't find it necessary to lecture a board full of grown adults either)

BUT...it IS way tamer than some other boards, and I think tamer than it was when I was pregnant with my first. Most well-meaning people don't get ripped to shreds. If you come across as ungrateful or selfish, that's when you're more likely to get criticized. And you know what? Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes, that's exactly what you need to hear, in order to "get over yourself", so to speak.

lancyjo · January 2012

As a reformed snark-patroller, I have to tell you this:

Your post makes me feel like being snarky, just to p!ss you off.

I used to feel like you do, and to some extent, I still do, but I've also realized that these are pubic forums. If you don't like something, tough. People are going to say what they please and little "don't be mean!" posts won't stop it. Ignore it if you don't like it... Or go fart your rainbows elsewhere. (sorry, I couldn't resist!)

tartaruga · January 2012

misskates999:
I'm on bedrest, so I have been spending a lot of time cruising the 3rd trimester message boards and I must say, what is with all the attitude ladies!? I know I get irritated VERY easily these days, and am naturally a cynical and sarcastic person, but some of the replies I've been reading on these posts are just mean. Its okay to disagree with what someone else posted, but isn't the point of this community to be able to vent, ask for advice, seek support, etc, from other women who find themselves in similar situations to our own? Why can't you just say "well, I disagree, this is how I feel" instead of flying off the handle and getting super snarky? A few posts I have read through the replies would make me feel pretty shitty if I were the original poster.. I know that's not what I come here for, to be spoken down to and made to feel stupid or selfish, lets just back off a bit ladies! You know who you are!

No.

elektra1835 · January 2012

HopingForOne:
I don't always like the way people respond on here, and yes, I think sometimes people are unnecessarily harsh. And I don't find it necessary (But then again, not to be rude, but I don't find it necessary to lecture a board full of grown adults either)

BUT...it IS way tamer than some other boards, and I think tamer than it was when I was pregnant with my first. Most well-meaning people don't get ripped to shreds. If you come across as ungrateful or selfish, that's when you're more likely to get criticized. And you know what? Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes, that's exactly what you need to hear, in order to "get over yourself", so to speak.

I have actually come across a post on one of the other boards where the ladies were commenting on how much they LOVED flaming the other women. Now that seems unnecessary. Didn't see anything today that seemed ridiculously harsh. I've actually gotten flamed once on said board (for something I don't think warranted flaming) and while I wasn't happy about it, I've learned my lesson and just don't post there anymore. But really, it's an anonymous online forum, so you should expect some occasional snark, whether you agree w/ it or not.

misskates999 · January 2012

Well first let me just thank everyone for the outpouring of affection! Here I thought I was the only one who farts rainbows! I am honestly not trying to be snark patrol or tell anyone what they can or can't say, I'm just saying that my impression of the bump as a whole was that it was intended to be a positive environment. I'm not saying that everyone should be all sunshine and lollipops and agree with everything everyone has to say, and yes, sometimes people ARE just being selfish or dumb and need to be told so. I also agree that the same damn subjects are posted over and over (sorry if this was one of them, I honestly hadn't seen any other posts like this). That all being said, I still feel like some people are just being bitchy. If you're tired of people posting the same questions over and over, don't read them, or don't reply to them. Someone said we are all adults, this is a public forum, we have the right to say what we want. Well ya, we are all adults, so why does this whole subject make me feel like I'm in jr high? I was merely stating my opinion that some people just get on here with unnecessary attitude. That is my opinion. It is the opinion of some of you that I need some special forum about unicorns and glitter or something. Definitely all adults here. But hey, you've given me something to do for a few minutes! So thanks!

jfreeman2003 · January 2012

Seriously people use the search... there have been a lot of repeating posts in the same day! Take the time to do a little research before you post! I think most ladies in their 3rd tri are just tired of everyone asking the same thing... read a book! If your tummy is hard... its probably a contraction. If there is mucus discharge... yes its probably the MP, no it doesn't mean you r going into labor tonight! Hospital bag... read your "What to Expect Book"... its all in there! P.S. some of the posts do just come across stupid!

danlexi04 · January 2012

addam&tara:
I'm seriously glad you said something. I wanted to... but didn't know how to approach it without getting a TON of backlash. Hopefully... your post will help shed some light that we are all here with a common goal... babies!

no it won't shed light. These are the type of posts that drive other posters nuts. There will always be obnoxious posts like this one and yours. I hope you don't think that the OP is the first one to stand up and say something. The bottom line is, if you don't like the feel of the board go elsewhere. Don't stand on a soap box and attempt to tell a bunch of grown women what they can and can't say.

Babycakes29 · January 2012

misskates999:
I'm on bedrest, so I have been spending a lot of time cruising the 3rd trimester message boards and I must say, what is with all the attitude ladies!? I know I get irritated VERY easily these days, and am naturally a cynical and sarcastic person, but some of the replies I've been reading on these posts are just mean. Its okay to disagree with what someone else posted, but isn't the point of this community to be able to vent, ask for advice, seek support, etc, from other women who find themselves in similar situations to our own? Why can't you just say "well, I disagree, this is how I feel" instead of flying off the handle and getting super snarky? A few posts I have read through the replies would make me feel pretty shitty if I were the original poster.. I know that's not what I come here for, to be spoken down to and made to feel stupid or selfish, lets just back off a bit ladies! You know who you are!

I agree with you. But I've learned that the people who make those comments are always going to make those comments and always feel completely justified in doing so no matter what anyone says. It's just how it is. But just the same, I agree with you that people really should ease off a little on their responses and I feel completely justified in MY opinion no matter what anyone says.

Babycakes29 · January 2012

LuckyBride06:

I agree to an extent. I'm not on often at all and it's my 2nd baby so I've been here before. When I see specific subjects/questions, I KNOW what the responses will be even before I open the post! Sometimes I agree, sometimes I think "geez, relax!!!" I totally feel like it's a continuous cycle of the same responses...

3 examples I see VERY often:

1. Someone who isn't 40 weeks pregnant or more asking about natural induction methods (primrose, walking, etc)... this person will be ripped to shreads bc they want their baby to come too early and they're not "full term" yet so they shouldnt be thinking of that stuff!! Sorry ladies, flame if you must, at 38 weeks I will be doing all I can to get the ball rolling....

2. Someone who complains/vents about their baby shower.... they will get ripped by people claiming that they're unappreciative and selfish and should be happy they had a shower.

3. Someone brings up circumcision... OH NO! Don't even bring up that subject!

Amen, LuckyBride!! I've had such a miserable pregnancy you better believe I'm gonna make sure I'm at least doing what I can to grease the wheels so to speak. I'm not gonna go nuts as if I was overdue but lets just say I'll be walking alot and having me a good amount of sex whether its comfortable or not!! haha!

Kristine Schilling · January 2012

A couple times recently I have said something about snarky posts. Usually though, if you look at past posts theres a reason the ladies are being snarky or mean.

Unfortunatly, there are several ladies who are now in their 3rd tri who ask the same questions over and over, never do any of their own research, dont listen when they have asked for advice... Etc.

I am not typically one of the ladies who gets snarky, I try to help no matter the question or issue. But even my patience is wearing thin with some of these "difficult" ladies.

Oh, BTW, if you think the bump gals are bad... dont go to the nest boards. You would scream.

megahof · January 2012

crogers19:

I am so jealous that you got here first...I was just about to make something like this. Except, I would have been a bit crasser and actually made the rainbow come out of someone's butt.

anewmrsS · January 2012

m1ssl1ss · January 2012

allisonmarie22:

Lurking from 2nd trimester.

It's funny how this topic comes up on all 3 of the trimester boards about once a week.

Seriously?? Why the hell keep bringing it up? We don't all piss glitter and fart rainbows. Get over it.

I think The Bump needs a Fairy Dust and Unicorns board for the people who can't handle a little snark...or reality. They could all just go over there and sing Kumbaya.

lol i love you

JeniLovesNeil · January 2012

It's always the posters with less than 100 posts donning the snark police badges. Give it time, ladies.

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

LuckyBride06:

I agree to an extent. I'm not on often at all and it's my 2nd baby so I've been here before. When I see specific subjects/questions, I KNOW what the responses will be even before I open the post! Sometimes I agree, sometimes I think "geez, relax!!!" I totally feel like it's a continuous cycle of the same responses...

3 examples I see VERY often:

1. Someone who isn't 40 weeks pregnant or more asking about natural induction methods (primrose, walking, etc)... this person will be ripped to shreads bc they want their baby to come too early and they're not "full term" yet so they shouldnt be thinking of that stuff!! Sorry ladies, flame if you must, at 38 weeks I will be doing all I can to get the ball rolling....

2. Someone who complains/vents about their baby shower.... they will get ripped by people claiming that they're unappreciative and selfish and should be happy they had a shower.

3. Someone brings up circumcision... OH NO! Don't even bring up that subject!

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with someone who is 38 weeks or more trying SOME natural methods of induction, Yes I realize that 40 weeks is considered "term" and I also know that labor will happen when your body is ready (trust me I have been in PTL since 24 weeks so I know this very well) but I wouldnt "flame" someone for trying SAFE and natural induction methods at 38 weeks...on a different note though I have seen a few posts lately where someone is 33 or 34 weeks and thinks they are having contractions or signs of labor and seem to be happy about it or even worse wants to be electively induced. Now that to me is crazy...Maybe they dont understand that anything before 37 weeks is considered preterm labor and I can't think of ANY legitimate OB that would ELECTIVELY induce someone before 37 weeks but I have seen these posts where the person almost seems "angry" that their OB wont schedule the induction...

tjg5275 · January 2012

the best thing to do to really get yourself laughing is to post something just to irritate all the psychos on this message board.

there are alot of crazy , bored, insane bitches on the bump

even your post of asking why people have attitude prompted some odd psycho responses. lets think its bc these people have no lives or are the child birthing experts of USA, god help their unborn children!!!!

luckylindy · January 2012

tjg5275:
the best thing to do to really get yourself laughing is to post something just to irritate all the psychos on this message board.
there are alot of crazy , bored, insane bitches on the bump
even your post of asking why people have attitude prompted some odd psycho responses. lets think its bc these people have no lives or are the child birthing experts of USA, god help their unborn children!!!!

I think your definition of psycho and mine are different, because I have yet to see a psycho response.

Regardless, definitely not going to trust the opinion of someone who can't seem to capitalize or punctuate correctly. Nice try though.

God help our unborn babies? Well at least our children will have a grasp of the English language.

christina627 · January 2012

I think TB is known to be pretty snarky. It's one of the only places that we can really release all the frustration of being pg...and really...some ppl need to be snarked at, including myself sometimes.

tjg5275 · January 2012

AND THE JOKE CONTINUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

salt78 · January 2012

tjg5275:
the best thing to do to really get yourself laughing is to post something just to irritate all the psychos on this message board.

The maturity level is strong with this one.

noryang · January 2012

Oh FFS. If someone can't handle this board how the heck do they live in the real world. It's not all that different. Some people are P&R, some people suck, some people are particularly passionate about specific topics, and some people give it to you straight when you ASK for an opinion.

That's life. If you can't handle life then for heavens sake - stay off a public message board.

tjg5275 · January 2012

oh lets use big words like "newbie" bc i live an die for the bump.

being a newbie is such a big deal, this whole post is such a big deal

anewmrsS · January 2012

sexyandrhinoit · January 2012

tjg5275:
oh lets use big words like "newbie" bc i live an die for the bump.

being a newbie is such a big deal, this whole post is such a big deal

Please tell me English is not your native language, because I am going to feel really bad for you and your baby if it is.

By the way, psycho reference you made earlier- yep, finally starting to see one.

ThePastor'sWife · January 2012

tjg5275:
oh lets use big words like "newbie" bc i live an die for the bump.

being a newbie is such a big deal, this whole post is such a big deal

Well, at least now your errors in punctuation and capitalization make sense, if you consider "newbie" to be a big word.

And apparently you've reverted to middle school with that last line... Sigh.

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