Why are people so "scared" of "it being twins?"

punkrockabye · January 2012

I don't understand this. At all. And I think it's horrible.

I've seen one woman talk about going it the ER for bleeding, while saying "guess we don't have to worry about twins either way" before she left to go to the ER, all while asking for prayers that she doesn't lose the baby. That is absolutely terrible.

Then there's the "I took Clomid and I am terrified that it's going to be twins." Um... correct me if I'm mistaken (I'm not), but isn't Clomid taken by women who are having problems conceiving likely due to an ovulation issue, so they take Clomid in order to achieve the pregnancy that they want so badly? So, if you have twins, what's the problem? A child is never a problem, especially when he or she is conceived through fertility enhancing measures because mom and/or dad were having infertility trouble. I can't comprehend this desire to not have twins. I mean, "I struggle with IF but I only want one baby at a time so make sure I only get one please" makes no sense to me.

For some reason to me it just reeks of "I straight up don't want a boy/girl and I don't know how I'll live if that's what it is."

Miss_Not4Long · January 2012

Personally I wanted twins, lol. But alas, only one baby in there!

Kayte317 · January 2012

I would have been thrilled to have twins...

mlf625 · January 2012

Because I have two toddlers? And I'd rather not have 4u4? But even if I didn't, why do you care how many uterine inhabitants I desire? It's not like I'm going to march into Planned Parenthood for an abortion if I were to have twins, but there's nothing wrong with hoping for just one healthy baby.

And it's laughable that you'd compare a preference for one sex over the other to a preference to birth just one baby at a time. lol

ks3pink · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
You mean other than the high risk pregnancy, the massive increased costs, the fact that it is far more challenging? Why no reason at all.

ditto.

punkrockabye · January 2012

GhostMonkey:

You mean other than the high risk pregnancy, the massive increased costs, the fact that it is far more challenging? Why no reason at all.

And eff you for acting like you have any clue about fertility treatments. The goal is ONE healthy baby.

Of course it would be you who resorts to personal attacks. Figures. You do know that it's possible to answer a question truthfully without acting like a child, correct?

Yes, it puts you in a high risk situation. And the goal is always a healthy baby. If it's twins, that's what it is. I can't be the only person who wants to be a mother and will be happy with whatever leads to that.

punkrockabye · January 2012

mlf625:
Because I have two toddlers? And I'd rather not have 4u4? But even if I didn't, why do you care how many uterine inhabitants I desire? It's not like I'm going to march into Planned Parenthood for an abortion if I were to have twins, but there's nothing wrong with hoping for just one healthy baby.
And it's laughable that you'd compare a preference for one sex over the other to a preference to birth just one baby at a time. lol

I'd prefer to not have 7 children, but I'm not going to say "well maybe this means it won't be twins!" if I start bleeding and suspect an impending loss. Maybe I am the odd one out for thinking something like that is terrible to say.

punkrockabye · January 2012

MrsSparklebottom:
Since there is a much higher chance of preterm labor, bed rest, loss of one or both babies, and since I have to keep working to support my family while I take care of my 8-month-old, I am praying I'm not pregnant with twins.
If I am, I will love them with all my heart. But I will probably lose my mind.
Does that help explain it?

Yes, actually, it does. Thank you.

robinsokj · January 2012

Ditto Ghostmonkey.

And why are you so emotionally invested in why someone else wouldn't want twins? What a stupid thing to waste your energy on

marzipanbunny · January 2012

Why is it wrong to hope you don't get twins? As PP have said, there are a lot of risks and costs involved with twins. You can desire a child, and pray to get pregnant, and get medical intervention, and love whatever outcome is (twins, triplets, etc) but still hope for the ideal, whatever you perceive that to be.

Do you begrudge people who have trouble getitng pregnant the ability to complain too? Do people experiencing infertility have to spend every moment being grateful for what they get and never question?

Believe me, I used Clomid to get pregnant and as grateful and blessed as I was to finally get pregnant, I still allowed myself to occasionally complain about pregnancy, cause guess what? Sometimes it sucks. And that is okay. I was also afraid of twins, I would have been happy if it were but I also would have terrified, as any one would be.

electricdoctor83 · January 2012

huh? I have read your post a few times and still do not quite understand what you are getting at?

I took clomid. I sure in heck didn't want twins. It was a risk I was willing to take but when the 6 week u/s showed only one baby I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. If it had been twins I would have loved them just the same and would have fought tooth and nail to stay pregnant until full term.

I have lost 6 pregnancies in the last 1.5 years and I STILL was praying and praying that this was a singelton pregnancy.

redhotchili83 · January 2012

As someone who IS pregnant with twins, I can tell you that although I've come around to the idea, I would not have chosen to have gotten pregnant with twins. So far this pregnancy has been realy rough, not to mention the troubles with 3 carseats in a car, 3 in daycare, 3 in diapers, not having enough room in the house, etc. There are SO many risks to having twins (I feel like Im perpetually at the doctor). I think anyone who wishes for twins is either naive or hasn't looked into how much more complicated a pregnancy with multiples is.

I never struggled with IF, so maybe my opinion means nothing, but as someone who is currently living it, I will admit that when the doctor warned me of vanishing twin syndrome, my first reaction was maybe that wouldnt be so bad. Until you actually see two little sacs on that ultrasound and the true reality (not the sugar coated fantasty) of having 2 babies at once is looking you in the face, you'll never know the fear and anxiety you feel. Im sure the person who said "at least its not twins" reaction was knee-jerk, as she hasn't had enough time to really work through the shock. Every single person I've talked to who has multiples said they had the same terrified reaction when they found out.

LoveMaBaybee · January 2012

Coming from someone who doesn't have a baby yet, of course you wouldn't understand why having twins would be a handful. Come back when your baby is going through a growth spurt, illness, teething, or separation anxiety, and let us know how you feel about it then.

And, I agree with kdodge, you are ignorant. And that isn't childish, it's a fact.

gidge · January 2012

Maybe because it's double the worry and double the potential for something to go wrong again?

Because my body hasn't done anything else right so far, why would I think it could successfully handle a singleton pregnancy not to mention twins?

Double the child care costs, double the diapers, double the car seats, etc.

Oh yea, and the new car in addition to the other costs. One car seat would have worked out in DH's small car but twins won't fit.

Extra time I might need off work (not paid) due to the higher risk pregnancy.

I am excited to be pregnant and wouldn't want anything to happen to either of the babies but I am TERRIFIED of having two infants at once and everything that goes along with that.

judahsmommy1 · January 2012

I can't answer for other people, but I am scared of having twins because -

A twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy. They are far more risky for both babies and mom.

A twin pregnancy almost always ends with a C-section. And I have a fear of C-sections.

Twins mean less sleep at night. With my history of depression and anxiety, sleep is extremely important. The lack of sleep was VERY difficult with my first singleton infant. Twins would be that much more difficult.

I don't want more than three children, but I LOVE being pregnant. I really want the opportunity to be pregnant 3 times. Twins would mean that I would already be done.

Twins come with their own special sets of challenges. They have a very unique relationship in their life and have a connection to another person that no one else. At the same time, they are individuals and helping children navigate that world with challenges that I don't understand, is something that intimidates me.

If I have twins, obviously I will love both children. I will reach a point where I couldn't comprehend not having twins. But it would absolutely be an adjustment for me and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

mstroud23 · January 2012

OP: First, I'm not going to stoop to attacking you, so please try not to retaliate if you don't like what I have to say.

I actually hope for twins, so I can be done all at once-as we only want 2 children.

That being said, I understand the concerns of having twins. For a lot of women with IF issues (no matter how slight) the issue of twins is magnified. For a healthy woman with no IF issues twins is considered a high risk pregnancy (our bodies aren't meant to support 2 at a time). For a woman that has IF issues (which could be cause by more than ovulation issues) she is already carrying a high risk pregnancy even if it's only one fetus. Carrying two becomes even more high risk and frequently dangerous. These women will be monitored extremely closely because of the risk.

Some of the risks from using fertility drugs are actually harmful to the fetus and women who know this going into it might already have concerns that Clomid can cause a variety of physical developmental issues. These women go in with their eyes wide open to the risks-not just that twinning is a risk with Clomid, but that there are others as well. Forget the scare tactics other posters have used of increased risk of bleeding and what not-those are still risks, but that type of approach is not conducive to an educated discussion on the issue (which I think is what you were going for).

Why our body's aren't meant to carry more than 1 fetus at a time. There is something called the law of halves with mammals (and we are mammals). The law states that the normal number of offspring to be birthed from a single gestational period is 1/2 the number of teats. So, everyone, take a look down. How many boobs do you have? 2? Then that's one child per pregnancy. Our bodies produce milk for one child, our bodily systems are capable of supporting one child at a time without stressing them, we are meant to have 1 child per pregnancy. Now, even only carrying one child women have complications. Sh!t happens. But stressing the body further with twins and knowing that sh!t happens for perfectly healthy pregnant women-I can understand why some women may be opposed to twins.

That is all, everyone can now hate me if you like.

Areli71611 · January 2012

punkrockabye:
.
For some reason to me it just reeks of "I straight up don't want a boy/girl and I don't know how I'll live if that's what it is."

Errr...how did you get this from someone saying they hope it's not twins? I don't give a rip about the gender, I just want a healthy baby. So my non-desire to have litters has nothing to do with gender, but it has everything to do with wanting to avoid the associated elevated risks involved during pregnancy/delivery of twins. However, my world would be far from shattered if I learn I'm KU with multiples.

Also, whether or not someone wants twins is none of your business, so why are you wasting your energy fussing about it??

bell2belling · January 2012

My Aunt was pregnant with twins, she had them very very early. One of her boys only lived 4 days. They were so tiny, a beanie baby looked huge next to them. The boy that survived ended up being in the hospital for the first 6 months of his life. It was Hell for everyone in my family. So yeah, I was scared that I could have twins. I have a feeling there would be a lot of resent towards me in my family if we had twins. Not to mention how scary and terrible it is basically living in the hospital. It really took a toll on my Aunt not only emotionally but financially, she drove 40 minutes to the hospital every day to see her child and she had a child at home to take care of on top of that.

punkrockabye · January 2012

mstroud23:
OP: First, I'm not going to stoop to attacking you, so please try not to retaliate if you don't like what I have to say.
I actually hope for twins, so I can be done all at once-as we only want 2 children.
That being said, I understand the concerns of having twins. For a lot of women with IF issues (no matter how slight) the issue of twins is magnified. For a healthy woman with no IF issues twins is considered a high risk pregnancy (our bodies aren't meant to support 2 at a time). For a woman that has IF issues (which could be cause by more than ovulation issues) she is already carrying a high risk pregnancy even if it's only one fetus. Carrying two becomes even more high risk and frequently dangerous. These women will be monitored extremely closely because of the risk.
Some of the risks from using fertility drugs are actually harmful to the fetus and women who know this going into it might already have concerns that Clomid can cause a variety of physical developmental issues. These women go in with their eyes wide open to the risks-not just that twinning is a risk with Clomid, but that there are others as well. Forget the scare tactics other posters have used of increased risk of bleeding and what not-those are still risks, but that type of approach is not conducive to an educated discussion on the issue (which I think is what you were going for).
Why our body's aren't meant to carry more than 1 fetus at a time. There is something called the law of halves with mammals (and we are mammals). The law states that the normal number of offspring to be birthed from a single gestational period is 1/2 the number of teats. So, everyone, take a look down. How many boobs do you have? 2? Then that's one child per pregnancy. Our bodies produce milk for one child, our bodily systems are capable of supporting one child at a time without stressing them, we are meant to have 1 child per pregnancy. Now, even only carrying one child women have complications. Sh!t happens. But stressing the body further with twins and knowing that sh!t happens for perfectly healthy pregnant women-I can understand why some women may be opposed to twins.

That is all, everyone can now hate me if you like.

Disagreeing with me (or, rather, having an answer for me) is not taken by me as an attack; I definitely do like what you had to say because it was very informative (the law of halves is very cool, I haven't heard of that). I think it's hilarious that "you're ignorant!" is being thrown around like an insult. Ignorance means not having the awareness or the knowledge. And, well, when someone asks a question, ignorance is typically the reason.

Just because I don't look at the idea of twins with sheer terror doesn't mean others don't, and I had no idea why they would (ignorance! Lacking the answers!), so I explained my part and hoped for the other side. But, like you alluded to, if someone doesn't like what you have to say then it's instantly an attack: I apparently set out to attack those who didn't enjoy struggling with multiple gestation, and/or those who fear it. If trying to be an ass without knowing it is going to become common, I guess I'm in for an interesting 7-8 more months.

I haven't been sitting here dwelling on the issue all day. It was something I noticed twice within a couple minutes and it rubbed me the wrong way. I'm laying on the couch nauseous, and I don't have anything else I can be doing right now. So that's why. The time between me reacting to what I saw and posting this was very short, and I do apologize to anyone who DID feel attacked by my questioning.

mstroud23 · January 2012

I work at an agricultural high school and we discuss the Law of Halves every time a mammal gives birth on the farm. We had a sow birth 15 piglets, she had 14 teats, 7 of her piglets died within a few hours of birth (nature knows-I know that sounds cruel, but on a farm it's life). Cows, sheep, and goats regularly have 2 at a time-and they all have 4 teats.

I agree that calling someone ignorant as an insult is wrong. The point of asking the question is to educate yourself. And to us ignorance as an attack is childish. Everyone is at different places with their knowledge on things-and I thinking asking and trying to educate oneself is a really good thing and a step in the right direction!

robinsokj · January 2012

Yeah, op. You didn't simply ask a question. You went on your own attack.

GypsyEsq · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
You mean other than the high risk pregnancy, the massive increased costs, the fact that it is far more challenging? Why no reason at all.

And eff you for acting like you have any clue about fertility treatments. The goal is ONE healthy baby.

yes. This exactly. OP assuming you are neither infertile nor carrying multiples what difference does it make to you?

ETA: pregnancies after IF are not automatically high risk. Just correcting something a PP said who also admittedly has no experience with IF.

judahsmommy1 · January 2012

punkrockabye:
And I think it's horrible.
That is absolutely terrible.
it just reeks of

These are my cues that this isn't a curiosity question, it's an "I'm right, other people are wrong" question. I can see that you're trying to back track, but I think a more appropriate response would be something along the lines of, "Sorry, I can see that my original post was a bit rude. Next time I'll try to be more tactful with my questions."

byrne15 · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
mstroud23:

That being said, I understand the concerns of having twins. For a lot of women with IF issues (no matter how slight) the issue of twins is magnified. For a healthy woman with no IF issues twins is considered a high risk pregnancy (our bodies aren't meant to support 2 at a time). For a woman that has IF issues (which could be cause by more than ovulation issues) she is already carrying a high risk pregnancy even if it's only one fetus. Carrying two becomes even more high risk and frequently dangerous. These women will be monitored extremely closely because of the risk.

Um, no. I was never high risk.

yeah me neither...thanks for assuming though.

punkrockabye · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
mstroud23:

I work at an agricultural high school and we discuss the Law of Halves every time a mammal gives birth on the farm. We had a sow birth 15 piglets, she had 14 teats, 7 of her piglets died within a few hours of birth (nature knows-I know that sounds cruel, but on a farm it's life). Cows, sheep, and goats regularly have 2 at a time-and they all have 4 teats.

I agree that calling someone ignorant as an insult is wrong. The point of asking the question is to educate yourself. And to us ignorance as an attack is childish. Everyone is at different places with their knowledge on things-and I thinking asking and trying to educate oneself is a really good thing and a step in the right direction!

I don't know what freaky ass sheep you have seen, but ours had 2. Same with goats.

And she is ignorant on the topic. Plain and simple and given her responses, quite factual. To me being called ignorant would be an insult, especially if I was running my mouth stating things as fact as she was in the OP. She wasn't asking- she was telling. There was no question there.

There you go with ignorant as an insult again. Please see the exact definition if ignorance if you can't understand why ignorance is not an insult. Then again, I'm not one to be offended if someone breathes in the wrong direction or something; others are more sensitive I suppose, but all questions arise from ignorance. Some people have too much pride to stand up and say "hey, I don't know this, please enlighten me." I am not one of them. Nobody has all answers on all topics. I'm ignorant about many things, you are ignorant about many things. Everyone has what they're knowledgeable on and what they're not. That's how it goes.

The "facts" I stated are what I saw. I stated, as fact, what I saw people saying, because that's what I saw. I was telling facts, just like "I just saw a dog" is telling a fact. And if you look back at the title of the post, it sure looks like a question to me. The quotes are simply around words that I saw used.

punkrockabye · January 2012

judahsmommy1:
punkrockabye:
And I think it's horrible.
That is absolutely terrible.
it just reeks of
These are my cues that this isn't a curiosity question, it's an "I'm right, other people are wrong" question. I can see that you're trying to back track, but I think a more appropriate response would be something along the lines of, "Sorry, I can see that my original post was a bit rude. Next time I'll try to be more tactful with my questions."

And that's just how I feel about the topic. I did apologize to those who felt like I was attacking them, since that was not my intention. I have my own feelings on the topic, and it was clear that others had other feelings, so I was giving mine and asking for the thoughts of others. I'm not going to apologize for thinking it's sad to cross your fingers that you're just losing a twin, but at the same time I am not going to say that nobody has a right to have feelings on or decide what will go on in her own body.

jelina · January 2012

judahsmommy1:
I can't answer for other people, but I am scared of having twins because -
A twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy. They are far more risky for both babies and mom.
A twin pregnancy almost always ends with a C-section. And I have a fear of C-sections.
Twins mean less sleep at night. With my history of depression and anxiety, sleep is extremely important. The lack of sleep was VERY difficult with my first singleton infant. Twins would be that much more difficult.
I don't want more than three children, but I LOVE being pregnant. I really want the opportunity to be pregnant 3 times. Twins would mean that I would already be done.
Twins come with their own special sets of challenges. They have a very unique relationship in their life and have a connection to another person that no one else. At the same time, they are individuals and helping children navigate that world with challenges that I don't understand, is something that intimidates me.
If I have twins, obviously I will love both children. I will reach a point where I couldn't comprehend not having twins. But it would absolutely be an adjustment for me and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

haha. I am the exact opposite. I hate being pregnant but want more children so in that sense I would love Twins!

HOWEVER, I see every reason not to want them and to be scared. I absolutely do not want a high risk pregnancy, the high chance of c-section, or the added stress of two newborns. I feel like life would be a blur. I would love both and would be excited but I think its very reasonable to hope for a singleton.

To me this is like someone who did IVF several times had a few kids, then accidentally got pregnant several more times and ended up with three extra kids. Yes kids are a blessing. That doesn't mean everyone wants 10 of them.

punkrockabye · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
punkrockabye:
GhostMonkey:
mstroud23:

I work at an agricultural high school and we discuss the Law of Halves every time a mammal gives birth on the farm. We had a sow birth 15 piglets, she had 14 teats, 7 of her piglets died within a few hours of birth (nature knows-I know that sounds cruel, but on a farm it's life). Cows, sheep, and goats regularly have 2 at a time-and they all have 4 teats.

I agree that calling someone ignorant as an insult is wrong. The point of asking the question is to educate yourself. And to us ignorance as an attack is childish. Everyone is at different places with their knowledge on things-and I thinking asking and trying to educate oneself is a really good thing and a step in the right direction!

I don't know what freaky ass sheep you have seen, but ours had 2. Same with goats.

And she is ignorant on the topic. Plain and simple and given her responses, quite factual. To me being called ignorant would be an insult, especially if I was running my mouth stating things as fact as she was in the OP. She wasn't asking- she was telling. There was no question there.

There you go with ignorant as an insult again. Please see the exact definition if ignorance if you can't understand why ignorance is not an insult. Then again, I'm not one to be offended if someone breathes in the wrong direction or something; others are more sensitive I suppose, but all questions arise from ignorance. Some people have too much pride to stand up and say "hey, I don't know this, please enlighten me." I am not one of them. Nobody has all answers on all topics. I'm ignorant about many things, you are ignorant about many things. Everyone has what they're knowledgeable on and what they're not. That's how it goes.

The "facts" I stated are what I saw. I stated, as fact, what I saw people saying, because that's what I saw. I was telling facts, just like "I just saw a dog" is telling a fact. And if you look back at the title of the post, it sure looks like a question to me. The quotes are simply around words that I saw used.

WTF are you babbling about?

About this, clearly:

GhostMonkey:
And she is ignorant on the topic. Plain and simple and given her responses, quite factual. To me being called ignorant would be an insult, especially if I was running my mouth stating things as fact as she was in the OP. She wasn't asking- she was telling. There was no question there.

Mrs.Umm · January 2012

punkrockabye:
Then there's the "I took Clomid and I am terrified that it's going to be twins." Um... correct me if I'm mistaken (I'm not), but isn't Clomid taken by women who are having problems conceiving likely due to an ovulation issue, so they take Clomid in order to achieve the pregnancy that they want so badly? So, if you have twins, what's the problem?

Wow! Judgemental much?

Unless you've been through IF treatments, you have NO basis at all for this statement. The goal of any treatments is ONE healthy baby. Multiples increase the risks of health problems for the babies and the mother. Multiples increase the chance of preterm labor. Multiples increase the risk of low birth weight and NICU time. Multiples increase the cost of raising the children, and the space needed in the home, and the time and stress on the parents.

Are all of us thrilled to be pregnant? Yes. Would we be happy with twins, if it happened? Sure. Are we relieved to have a singleton? Absolutely. Is it your place to judge that opinion (which my DOCTORS highly stressed) with no basis but your own judgements? NO.

kellyrn9956 · January 2012

punkrockabye:

I don't understand this. At all. And I think it's horrible.

I've seen one woman talk about going it the ER for bleeding, while saying "guess we don't have to worry about twins either way" before she left to go to the ER, all while asking for prayers that she doesn't lose the baby. That is absolutely terrible.

Then there's the "I took Clomid and I am terrified that it's going to be twins." Um... correct me if I'm mistaken (I'm not), but isn't Clomid taken by women who are having problems conceiving likely due to an ovulation issue, so they take Clomid in order to achieve the pregnancy that they want so badly? So, if you have twins, what's the problem? A child is never a problem, especially when he or she is conceived through fertility enhancing measures because mom and/or dad were having infertility trouble. I can't comprehend this desire to not have twins. I mean, "I struggle with IF but I only want one baby at a time so make sure I only get one please" makes no sense to me.

For some reason to me it just reeks of "I straight up don't want a boy/girl and I don't know how I'll live if that's what it is."

Wow. Yep. I have tried for three years to have a baby. I am currently sticking myself on a daily basis with powerful drugs that increase my chances of twins to 20%. And I am praying for one. Why? Here are just a few reasons.

#1 - I have a hole in my heart and carrying multiples will move me to high risk

#2 - I will have no money left over every month if I have to put two newborns in day care at the same time

#3 - It would be a struggle to be on long periods of bed rest as I am the breadwinner in my family

#4 - I cannot stand the thought of delivering prematurely or losing one or both twins for any reason.

Yes, I clearly know the risks, and I signed the consent to do controlled ovarian hyperstimulation - and we will deal with having multiples it if the time comes, but I am not on my knees every night praying for more than one.

Going through IF does not mean you have a "Buy One Get One Free" mentality. Before you make generalizations like "women with IF should be HAPPY to get more than one", educate yourself a little bit on what that might mean for each individual family.

punkrockabye · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
Hi. Stating a fact. Not intented to be an insult. You are the one that twisted your panties over it.

Nope. You brought in the "eff you," I think that signifies some pretty twisted panties. Notice I still haven't resorted to anything related to name calling, blatant attacking, etc. Not that I planned or plan to.

GhostMonkey:
You are ignorant when it comes to infertility, and clearly the risks of a multiple pregnancy.

...this has been established; partially by myself, nonetheless. Have I stomped around this thread insisting that I have all the answers and everyone is lying or something?

GhostMonkey:
The first time I called you ignorant? Because the words I really wanted to use are a bannable offense. Calling someone ignorant is not.

Cute. Sure, it's easy to want to explode on someone, but it does nothing when they're honestly looking for other opinions or answers. Had I responded to everyone with "You're wrong! I don't care! That's not right! You don't know what you're talking about!" then by all means, defensiveness and attacks are warranted. Starting with it right off the bat is not.

punkrockabye · January 2012

kellyrn9956:

Wow. Yep. I have tried for three years to have a baby. I am currently sticking myself on a daily basis with powerful drugs that increase my chances of twins to 20%. And I am praying for one. Why? Here are just a few reasons.

#1 - I have a hole in my heart and carrying multiples will move me to high risk

#2 - I will have no money left over every month if I have to put two newborns in day care at the same time

#3 - It would be a struggle to be on long periods of bed rest as I am the breadwinner in my family

#4 - I cannot stand the thought of delivering prematurely or losing one or both twins for any reason.

Yes, I clearly know the risks, and I signed the consent to do controlled ovarian hyperstimulation - and we will deal with having multiples it if the time comes, but I am not on my knees every night praying for more than one.

Going through IF does not mean you have a "Buy One Get One Free" mentality. Before you make generalizations like "women with IF should be HAPPY to get more than one", educate yourself a little bit on what that might mean for each individual family.

Thank you, this is what I was actually "hoping" for; actual real life information. I can't see the other side unless it's told to me, if I'm not there myself.

JosiePosy · January 2012

I know right? I mean it wasn't like it was a big deal to have all those appointments with specialists for possible TTTS at 18-19 weeks. Those billion and one ultrasounds were tons of fun. Then yay bedrest at 26 weeks! HELLP Syndrome at 29 weeks so I didn't have to stay pregnant very long. The emergency c/s was no biggie because my babies only weighed 2 and 3 lbs, and those 6 weeks in the NICU just flew by! And hey who needs sleep when you have hungry babies every 2 hours? Ooh and now I get to chase around two mobile babies all day long which is just awesomesauce!

Yeah, I can't imagine why people are so afraid of multiples either.

JosiePosy · January 2012

Oh and how many other women can say that their pregnancy cost their insurance co. over $500k? That's amazing bragging rights.

judahsmommy1 · January 2012

LOVE! the HIMYM GIF!!!

FallinLove2011 · January 2012

At one point I did want twins, but I made the mistake of posting that wish. I was flamed like you would not believe!! Over 1,000 views and I think it was about 600 ppl responding, saying that I was stupid for wanting twins that it is so horrible to have twins and soooo many things could go wrong. I was ripped apart. They scared me so bad that I was considering not trying for children at all, ever. Although after sharing my fears with my husband, he reasured me that IF we were blessed with twins, everything would be ok.

punkrockabye · January 2012

GhostMonkey:
punkrockabye:

GhostMonkey:
Hi. Stating a fact. Not intented to be an insult. You are the one that twisted your panties over it.

Nope. You brought in the "eff you," I think that signifies some pretty twisted panties. Notice I still haven't resorted to anything related to name calling, blatant attacking, etc. Not that I planned or plan to.

GhostMonkey:
You are ignorant when it comes to infertility, and clearly the risks of a multiple pregnancy.

...this has been established; partially by myself, nonetheless. Have I stomped around this thread insisting that I have all the answers and everyone is lying or something?

GhostMonkey:
The first time I called you ignorant? Because the words I really wanted to use are a bannable offense. Calling someone ignorant is not.

Cute. Sure, it's easy to want to explode on someone, but it does nothing when they're honestly looking for other opinions or answers. Had I responded to everyone with "You're wrong! I don't care! That's not right! You don't know what you're talking about!" then by all means, defensiveness and attacks are warranted. Starting with it right off the bat is not.

I beg you to go back and re-read your OP. Nothing about it was looking for information or asking questions. You came in and told people how they should feel even though you have absolutely no information or knowledge on the topic.

Fuuuck. Fuckity fuuuck fuuuck. I like the word. Deal with it. (And if you were keeping up, the second time I used the word ignorant was the one in question with the part you quoted. Try keeping up with the conversation.)

Again, the title of the post poses my question. I did clearly give my own views, and I apologized to those who felt attacked. My intention was not to attack anyone and I acknowledged that it made people feel that way.

I (over)use the word, too. No problem with that. I just didn't think it was necessary in the situation. There have been plenty of women who have commented and very much disagreed with my OP, and yet they didn't assume I was out to beat them up.

mstroud23 · January 2012

This thread needs to die. Too many of the ladies on this board have their panties in a wad today. Everyone should just step away from their keyboards and/or stay away from this thread. I heard people on this board were bsc, I was wrong not to believe it.

judahsmommy1 · January 2012

FallinLove2011:
At one point I did want twins, but I made the mistake of posting that wish. I was flamed like you would not believe!! Over 1,000 views and I think it was about 600 ppl responding, saying that I was stupid for wanting twins that it is so horrible to have twins and soooo many things could go wrong. I was ripped apart. They scared me so bad that I was considering not trying for children at all, ever. Although after sharing my fears with my husband, he reasured me that IF we were blessed with twins, everything would be ok.

Wow, this makes me sad. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting twins. It definitely is a special type of parenting.

MeghanTTC1 · January 2012

mstroud23:
This thread needs to die. Too many of the ladies on this board have their panties in a wad today. Everyone should just step away from their keyboards and/or stay away from this thread. I heard people on this board were bsc, I was wrong not to believe it.

+1

CinemaGoddess · January 2012

The answer can be found "here".

"YWIA".

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