- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Trying to Get Pregnant
Cdiecidue
member
TTC deliema
Cdiecidue
member
I'm usually just a stalker here on these boards but I'd really appreciate some opinions on this issue!
DH (28) and I (27) have been together 10 years (married 2) and finally started ttc this past September with currently no luck. This month we had a chemical pregnancy and we were absolutely devastated. My friend is getting married on Oct. 27 out of stat and my brother is getting married Nov. 3. Getting pregnant in December was the last window of opportunity with a COMFORTABLE window of time before the weddings. (I'm in both).
Sigh... so here we are if we continue to try this month (cycle #5) EDD would be Oct. 1st assuming first babies are usually late there is a chance I'd only be 2-3 weeks pp for my bf's wedding.
If we get pregnant in cycle #6 Edd would be Nov. 1st which I'm assuming might mean we miss both weddings?
I swear everyone we know got pregnant on the first try.... ugh.
How selfish is it to keep trying for the next two months? Or is really the most practical and considerate thing to do is wait it out the next few months? And start trying again in March?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: TTC deliema
THIS POST from yesterday pretty much answers your question.
Chemical Pregnancy
Unless there was a medical reason for yourself, I wouldn't put off TTC for anyone!
If you put it off, you'll always wonder "would I have gotten pregnant that month?"
ETA: Wording.
My Ovulation Chart
TTC #1 since March 2010
DH - SA = Low Morphology. Great overall count.
August 2012: HSG - All Clear
September 2012: Timed Intercourse 100 mg Clomid CD 4-8 w/ Repronex & HCG Injections = BFN
October 2012: Timed Intercourse 100 mg Clomid CD 4-8 = BFN
September 2013: New Doctor: 50 mg Clomid CD 5-9 & IUI #1 = BFN
October 2013: 50 mg Clomid CD 3-7 & IUI #2 = BFN
November 2013 to ??? = On a mental break for now.
This is a really hard decision that only you and YH can make. Obviously you were nine months pregnant you couldn't fly. Or if you had a 2-3 week old baby, it's a major concern to take the baby into crowded public places.
I got pregnant with DD (unexpectedly) and had to miss my best friend's wedding (I was 35 weeks along and it was in India). To make matters worse, she was marrying my brother in law so I got *** from both my in-laws and my best friend and her family. I love my little girl to death but honestly things are still not right with my friend a year later. My only point is at least consider waiting a couple months-but in the end, do what is best for you.
I dont think it is selfish at all. This year I was in a wedding in october and while I did for like a second question trying even thought I may be too pregnant to be in the wedding by then that was quickly out weighed by my desire for a baby I can take home. My priorities are my family and what DH and I long for. If I were to have been DUE on her wedding date so be it....as my friend I know she would understand as well.......obviously I wasnt pregnant by then or even due then (loss in july and again this christmas eve) this year and so.....you never know how things will actually turn out.
Had I skipped a month or two to possibly avoid being pregnant near their wedding....had these losses still....I would have forever regretted skipping those months, perpetually wondering if THOSE were the months I would have gotten pregnant had I skipped them...
I wouldn't wait.. I didnt wait. And I still have no take home baby (yet) If you are comfortable putting it off a few cycles to avoid and EDD near their wedding date that is totally up to you...do what is best for the two of you. GL
This is really a personal choice. If you feel comfortable putting it off TTC a few months then do it. However (speaking from experience) trying to plan everything around whether or not you will be pregnant or hoping to be by a certain time, will drive you crazy. I wanted to be pregnant right away, then by Thanksgiving, then by Christmas... and I would get super depressed every time it didn't happen even though I knew there was only a 20% chance every month and it doesn't always happen right away. So my advice it live your life and let things happen...oh and don't worry about everyone else, the grass is always greener
Good luck!
As the other posters mentioned, I would def. not put my ttc on hold for anyone.
The reality is you don't know how long it will take. I am on cycle #6. So I say go for it. My bff is getting married and I will be a matron of honer, but He knows I will hopefully be pregnant.
TTC Since Aug 2011/
ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)
IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan
Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn
My Chart//>
Maybe it's me but I'd question that friendship.
I agree. Wow.
Chemical Pregnancy
I have to ask, since I see a ton of "I would never take a break for anyone" ever blah blah blah...
When you all were getting married and planning weddings, would you have been soooo super supportive if your sibling/best friend of 20 years or whoever backed out due to a pregnancy?
Do you what you gotta do OP, but be prepared for a possible hit to your relationship afterwards. It happens.
I agree as well. That's just being selfish on your friends part. Can't wait until she's PG one day & realize that it's not that simple!
BFP #1:10/31/10 DS born 6/22/11BFP #3:4/24/12 DD born 12/31/12
TTC is your priority and your focus. Her wedding is hers.
I guarantee plenty of the girls in this thread would have been just as upset when they were brides and TTC was nowhere on the radar.
Yes. It may be a bit extreme, but for lack of a better explination that's like saying your life event is more important than my life. I also feel like it's apple to oranges. Your wedding will very likely take place....regardless. Where as the chances of me getting KU each month are slim
I asked my SIL to read in my wedding...just READ and she said no b/c she's was due just a few weeks before my wedding.
Edit: wrong word
?TTC#1 since 04/11?CP 03/28/12?Me:Polycystic Ovaries&Endo??Him:MFI- Awaiting 2nd SA?
?Blog?
So many different possibilities arise. You might get pregnant, you might not. Hell, you might put off TTC and then your friend might call off the wedding. You just never know. But, I would continue to move forward with my own plans.
MH and I just had this conversation last night. My brother is getting married next December in the Caribbean. I was asked by my future sister in law to be MOH and MH is a groomsman. We are discussing taking a few months and just not "trying" but not avoiding either, just putting it up to fate.
I'm Britt. Me 29 | MH 29
Falling in Love! November 2014
One of my bridesmaids had just had a baby when we were planning our wedding, and I would have completely understood if she backed out for financial reasons. I felt bad enough trying to get her fitted for a dress when she still had baby weight and was breastfeeding. Maybe not everyone is as understanding.
I wouldn't put off TTC for anyone and would question the friendship of anyone who didn't understand that.
I wouldn't have been upset. Life happens. But, I'm also not the best person to ask because I don't love weddings, I think they are a huge expenditure for one day, and we only had 15 people at ours.
But, both my sister and SIL were pregnant. It didn't bother me one bit and they certainly didn't plan around our wedding plans.
this
That's fine. I'm just pointing out that people get all in an uproar because not attending a wedding caused problems in a relationship- that just sounds ridiculous because not everyone will, nor should they, be completely understanding or thrilled because you getting pregnant caused you to miss an important event in their lives. Point being, if you choose to continue TTC when it may cause you to miss some big event you should do it knowing the possible repercussions. I'm not saying it's wrong to keep going, just annoying to assume that everyone should be ok with it.
It's not just you.
OP, DH and I had this conversation last year and decided that we wouldn't put our lives on hold for our best friends who were marrying each other. I was (supposed to be anyway) the MOH and DH was the BM. Sure enough, we did get pregnant that cycle and I gave birth to our LO 2 days before the wedding. DH went, I didn't. Sure, my BFF and I were a little bummed that I couldn't be at her wedding, but never once did she give me sh!t or feel any less thrilled for us (and me for her). If she had been, I would have cut ties with her immediately.
ETA: I got pg after 10 months of TTC, so that did weigh in our decision to keep TTC.
Holy Quick Responses Batman!
Apologies I did not realize that there was a similar post yesterday.
Thank you all for your imput.
Mrs.Forbey- that's most likely what we'll do. just have some and see what comes
Ktgteacher, and Karma&co- that's it exactly, we are the first of our friends and family so the friends haven't quite been there emotionally yet. And honestly I don't think I would have "gotten it" two years ago when I was busy playing bride either. Any one who gets KU on the first try wouldn't really get it either.
UGh! Oh well I guess we will see what will be!
And I am quite certain most of the responses to my question will be people saying how they were such understanding and supportive brides.
Nobody on here would likely admit to having been bothered if their sister/SIL/best friend backed out of their wedding due to being pregnant.
This
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
yup me too!
I missed my BFs wedding in India because my DD was only 5 weeks old, I was considering leaving her with my in laws and going, when my BF told me that she loved me and my DD and didn't want me to leave her while she was so young . . .
Absolutely. We got married Oct 2010, my SIL gave birth to her second in Apr 09 and my best friend in Aug 09, so I knew I was safe and yes I was relieved. But had it worked out differently, if one or both of them were going to be 8+ months pregnant or too close PP to feel up to it, there is no way I would throw a fit.
Having my friends and family with me on my wedding day was very important, but it was one day....I would never expect someone to alter their life by months or even a year (since skipping a few months that may have been THE month could delay things up to a year or more) to please me for one DAY. And yeah I would have been dissapointed, but anyone that would actually make their friend/family feel bad about it is an incredible selfish person IMO.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
well if you already KNOW why did you ask?..........................
Stole the words out of my mouth. Maybe she would/did throw a fit and was hoping others would said they would/did too.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
Quit abusing that period button.
I asked because I wanted to see if anyone had the balls to admit they were THAT bride.
Well that isn't frightening at all...
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
It's called having perspective, you should get some. Yep I was a bride and the importance of TTC was lost on me back then- the horror!!!! I feel differently now of course, but it's one of things you can't expect people to understand until you've been there.
You all expect everyone to be super understanding and accepting of your TTC, and it's horrifying to think a bride might not have the same perspective as you. Not always realistic to think a bride will be super gracious and excited about your TTC plans.
I was thinking the same thing...a bit of projection maybe? But, my answer remains the same. We weren't up for the big hoopla of a wedding so it wasn't an issue for us, but had we had a bigger wedding, I still don't think I would have been unsupportive if a sister/SIL/friend couldn't make it because their own life got in the way.
I wouldn't for one second expect anyone other than MH and I to be excited about our TTC plans. However, I'd like to think my friends are friends enough to understand if I'm not able to be by their side on their big day due to a large event going on in my own life...kwIm?
Hmmm. Or maybe, just maybe, I was the pregnant one and I had a newborn right before being a maid of honor in a friend's wedding and she was crappy to me but I cut her some slack but she doesn't understand shiit about the challenges of being pregnant or a new mom?
Funny how that didn't occur to you, since that's what happened. I've been on both sides of this and it's not easy being either person.
Nope, didn't, because the people that I have surrounded myself up to this point have all been happy and supportive of one another's life decisions. Sucks that your friend was so shiity.
I had my sister's wedding this past summer, and of course I didn't want to get pg before. It would have been too much to deal with next to all the wedding planning (I was the maid of honor).
However, my cousin is also getting married this spring (I'm a bridesmaid) and also DH's cousin in September but I would not put off TTC for their weddings no matter how far along I would be.
That is a personal decision that you have to make on your own, no one should influence you. I made the decision to wait after my sister's wedding because I love my sister and I would do anything for her.
GL!
I wouldn't stop trying if it were me. Only you and your husband can decide what is best for you.
I also would not have a fit if someone chose not to come to my wedding because of other things going on in their lives.
My sister and her kids couldn't come for financial reasons, which I completely understood since she lives several states away. My dad didn't come because he had a football game and retirement party that weekend. My mom almost didn't come because she was leaving for a cruise the next day and wasn't sure she wanted to make the 3 hour drive, she decided to come at the last minute.
DD1 EDD 08/18/01, born 08/03/2001 ~ 9lbs 10oz, 21.5 in
DS1 EDD 4/30/2004, born 05/04/2004 ~ 10lbs, 22 in
mc 02/14/12 @ 5 weeks
DD2 EDD 12/25/12, born 12/30/12 ~ 10lbs 11oz, 21.25 in
mc 12/05/15 @ 12 weeks
Cautiously expecting 12/02/16
ummm... I mean I would like someone from my family to be there. But that's just me!!