Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Two*True
member
Re: If both you and SO/DW/DH work please come in
I have done mornings solo since the boys were 4m old since L leaves for work earlier than I do. But even the days where she is working from home or going in later, I still do everything alone because the kids and I have the routine down pat and we've found that L stepping in causes a breakdown in getting out the door.
It looks something like this:
5am: L gets up/feeds the cats/gets herself ready
6am: L leaves
6:15: I get up and if the kids aren't up, I wake them. They get into our bed to watch tv for 30m while I get ready (I shower the night before so it takes me no time), empty the dishwasher, pack their lunchboxes.
6:45: Kids get up/brush teeth/get dressed while I make the bed
7:00(ish): Out the door.
I am used to doing it, but I admit that there are many days that I am jealous that she only has to get herself out the door every morning.
We share responsibility in the mornings, and switch back and forth throughout the morning as to who has the kids.
Generally, S gets up when the kids first stir, and takes her shower while I hang out with the kids and let them wake up slowly/have their morning milk. I pick out their clothes and start getting them dressed, which S takes over when she gets out of the shower. While I shower, S gets the tangles out of DD's hair (quite a project), finishes getting the kids dressed (socks & shoes), and makes sure the pup's water bowl is full. When I'm out of the shower and dressed myself, I do DD's hair while S grabs the grown-ups something to take in the car for breakfast and finishes getting herself dressed. We both get the kids out the door to the car.
I should say, this is our routine now, but we may be changing to a schedule where we stagger our work hours, in which case one of us will have the kids on their own in the AM, and the other will have the kids on their own in the PM. We'll need to be a LOT more organized to make that work and get us out of the house on time. When S has been out of town, I have trouble making it to work on time (I haven't been away from the kids yet, but S will get a crack at a few solo mornings when I go to a conference next month).
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Yeah, that's not a bad idea. We've done that before. And if we aren't expecting a snowstorm (and she remembers) she will park in the street.
The basic gist is that we have one person (usually me) worry about the kids and the other person (usually DW) worry about all the other stuff including packing bags, the animals, and warming up/moving the cars.
In detail it looks something like:
- A get up, showers, gets herself ready while the kids and I snooze
- I get up and get the girls ready while A takes care of the animals, packs anything that needs to go to daycare, and puts breakfast on the table for Sprout (the girls eat at daycare)
- at this point she either loads up the girls and heads off to daycare/work, or she'll help me finish up whatever they need then load them
- I hop in the shower and get myself ready while Sprout gets himself dressed, packs his backpack, eats his breakfast, and brushes his teeth
- Sprout and I head off to daycare/work
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I agree. And I think it is completely reasonable to ask K to get up a little earlier to help you with the morning stuff.
If she gets home after you, does that mean you are doing dinner on your own? If so, I'd think it'd be fair for you to do the PM childcare and have K do the AM childcare (like we're planning to do).
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Oh lord, I don't think DD or DW could handle her doing the morning routine. Neither of them are morning people
Yes, K gets home after me. Sometimes she makes it home before dinner and sometimes it's later and I already have DD in the bath.
And I selfishly don't want to give up bath/pj/book time. With the kid in daycare all day (besides dinner) that's the only time we have to hang out.
However I do think I'd be willing to give up the PM routine a night or two each week so I could use the treadmill on a more regular basis.
Except for the addition of now having to move K's car (it was parked in the garage the entire time she was gone) this is where I'm at. I just need to get my butt moving a bit quicker in the morning so DD aren't late getting out the door.
I love your treadmill idea, though! I've been wondering what I'd do with that free time, and I think that is a PERFECT use of it!
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
I think it would be hard to know where/how to step in if a routine had already been established. The few times that I have been out of town has always brought a little change in routine. For instance, one time when I was away C had the Kiddos help her in the kitchen. When I came home I did not quite know what I was supposed to do or what C needed me to do. We used to switch off on cooking, but the interaction between C and the Kiddos in the kitchen has C doing more of the cooking now. This also means the one on two interaction (i.e. playing) I had with the Kiddos changed. Now I get things prepared for them to go to bed...and kind of butted into their routine by having the Kiddos help me feed Pup-pup.
K is freshly home and your and JB's routine is well-established. However, with time, I am sure there wil be a change in routine with K being more involved (and maybe at times you may get a little jealous. I know I was jealous of how I was "ignored" by the Kiddos during cooking time.)
Normally when I'm home, I take care of the majority of Gwen's stuff. I get dinner ready, I help her more with dinner, I do bath and more of the bedtime stuff. Generally she wants me to do most things with/for her.
That said, Trav does most of her morning stuff. That might change when we're no longer nursing, but for now our mornings look like this:
5ish: Gwen wakes, comes into bed with us, nurses and falls back to sleep
6am: Alarm goes off, Trav gets up and showers, dresses, takes dog out and feeds her.
6 - 6:30: Gwen may wake anytime in here... sometimes she half-wakes and wants to nurse and sleep more.
6:30ish: Trav comes in to let me know he's ready. If Gwen's nursing, he goes to check his email for a few minutes while I finish. If she's sleeping, he switches places with me. If she's awake, he gets her giggling and carries her off to her room.
I pee, brush teeth, and hop in the shower while he changes her diaper and gets her dressed (I lay out her clothes every night), brushes her teeth and hair.
Then they head downstairs to have some breakfast and read books, play a little until I'm done.
I get out and get dressed/do my hair, then come downstairs.
7:15 - 7:30 (depending on how smoothly things are running!): I get Gwen's and my shoes on while he grabs her lunch and snacks from the fridge and puts her milk into a cup. I get our coats on. We head out to the car and I get her into her seat so they can leave.
After that I take the dog out back to poop, then grab breakfast, do any last minute stuff to get myself ready, take the dog out to pee one last time.
8am: I leave for the train.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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I agree, you do so much already.... ( that's meant to be none Judgy)