If both you and SO/DW/DH work please come in

Two*True

What is your morning routine like? Is one of you fully responsible for the child in the morning? Are responsibilities shared?

I'm curious.  As you all know I did this gig by myself for a long time. Now that K is back I'm not sure if we should (or need to) adjust our morning routines.

Right now I do ALL of the stuff related to DD (and of course getting myself ready).  I wake her, change her, get her breakfast, and get us out the door.  I also feed the dogs and let them out to pee (twice).  K's car is almost always parked behind mine (single lane driveway) so I have to move her car too (which in this weather means de-icing, etc).

K gets up, showers, and makes the bed.   She may or may not let the dogs out one more time.  That's it.

Just curious what other morning routines look like when both parents need to leave.

ETA - we leave at different times.  I get up earlier and generally leave about the time K is waking/showering.

 

2brides

I have done mornings solo since the boys were 4m old since L leaves for work earlier than I do. But even the days where she is working from home or going in later, I still do everything alone because the kids and I have the routine down pat and we've found that L stepping in causes a breakdown in getting out the door.

It looks something like this:

5am: L gets up/feeds the cats/gets herself ready

6am: L leaves

6:15: I get up and if the kids aren't up, I wake them. They get into our bed to watch tv for 30m while I get ready (I shower the night before so it takes me no time), empty the dishwasher, pack their lunchboxes.

6:45: Kids get up/brush teeth/get dressed while I make the bed

7:00(ish): Out the door.

I am used to doing it, but I admit that there are many days that I am jealous that she only has to get herself out the door every morning.

leapgirl8

We don't have kids so I'll leave off the details about our morning routines, but it seems that K could at least move your car when she gets home at night so you are parked behind her and don't have to deal with that.

thiswillbe

We share responsibility in the mornings, and switch back and forth throughout the morning as to who has the kids.

Generally, S gets up when the kids first stir, and takes her shower while I hang out with the kids and let them wake up slowly/have their morning milk. I pick out their clothes and start getting them dressed, which S takes over when she gets out of the shower. While I shower, S gets the tangles out of DD's hair (quite a project), finishes getting the kids dressed (socks & shoes), and makes sure the pup's water bowl is full. When I'm out of the shower and dressed myself, I do DD's hair while S grabs the grown-ups something to take in the car for breakfast and finishes getting herself dressed. We both get the kids out the door to the car.

I should say, this is our routine now, but we may be changing to a schedule where we stagger our work hours, in which case one of us will have the kids on their own in the AM, and the other will have the kids on their own in the PM. We'll need to be a LOT more organized to make that work and get us out of the house on time. When S has been out of town, I have trouble making it to work on time (I haven't been away from the kids yet, but S will get a crack at a few solo mornings when I go to a conference next month).

Two*True

leapgirl8:

We don't have kids so I'll leave off the details about our morning routines, but it seems that K could at least move your car when she gets home at night so you are parked behind her and don't have to deal with that.

Yeah, that's not a bad idea.  We've done that before.  And if we aren't expecting a snowstorm (and she remembers) she will park in the street.

ctbride08

The basic gist is that we have one person (usually me) worry about the kids and the other person (usually DW) worry about all the other stuff including packing bags, the animals, and warming up/moving the cars. 

In detail it looks something like:

- A get up, showers, gets herself ready while the kids and I snooze

- I get up and get the girls ready while A takes care of the animals, packs anything that needs to go to daycare, and puts breakfast on the table for Sprout (the girls eat at daycare)

- at this point she either loads up the girls and heads off to daycare/work, or she'll help me finish up whatever they need then load them

- I hop in the shower and get myself ready while Sprout gets himself dressed, packs his backpack, eats his breakfast, and brushes his teeth

- Sprout and I head off to daycare/work

thiswillbe

leapgirl8:

We don't have kids so I'll leave off the details about our morning routines, but it seems that K could at least move your car when she gets home at night so you are parked behind her and don't have to deal with that.

I agree. And I think it is completely reasonable to ask K to get up a little earlier to help you with the morning stuff.

If she gets home after you, does that mean you are doing dinner on your own? If so, I'd think it'd be fair for you to do the PM childcare and have K do the AM childcare (like we're planning to do).

Two*True

thiswillbe:

leapgirl8:

We don't have kids so I'll leave off the details about our morning routines, but it seems that K could at least move your car when she gets home at night so you are parked behind her and don't have to deal with that.

I agree. And I think it is completely reasonable to ask K to get up a little earlier to help you with the morning stuff.

If she gets home after you, does that mean you are doing dinner on your own? If so, I'd think it'd be fair for you to do the PM childcare and have K do the AM childcare (like we're planning to do).

Oh lord, I don't think DD or DW could handle her doing the morning routine. Neither of them are morning people   Yes, K gets home after me.  Sometimes she makes it home before dinner and sometimes it's later and I already have DD in the bath.

And I selfishly don't want to give up bath/pj/book time. With the kid in daycare all day (besides dinner) that's the only time we have to hang out.

However I do think I'd be willing to give up the PM routine a night or two each week so I could use the treadmill on a more regular basis.

Two*True

2brides:

I have done mornings solo since the boys were 4m old since L leaves for work earlier than I do. But even the days where she is working from home or going in later, I still do everything alone because the kids and I have the routine down pat and we've found that L stepping in causes a breakdown in getting out the door.

Except for the addition of now having to move K's car (it was parked in the garage the entire time she was gone) this is where I'm at.  I just need to get my butt moving a bit quicker in the morning so DD aren't late getting out the door.

thiswillbe

Two*True:

And I selfishly don't want to give up bath/pj/book time. With the kid in daycare all day (besides dinner) that's the only time we have to hang out.

However I do think I'd be willing to give up the PM routine a night or two each week so I could use the treadmill on a more regular basis.

I totally know what you mean about getting that hang-out time. We have a new bedtime routine for the kids that is a 1-parent affair (we used to put them to bed together if we were both home), and last night was supposed to have been my first night "off", but it made me so sad to think about not putting the kids to bed, I asked S if I could do it.

I love your treadmill idea, though! I've been wondering what I'd do with that free time, and I think that is a PERFECT use of it!

nevr2amazin

I think it would be hard to know where/how to step in if a routine had already been established. The few times that I have been out of town has always brought a little change in routine. For instance, one time when I was away C had the Kiddos help her in the kitchen. When I came home I did not quite know what I was supposed to do or what C needed me to do. We used to switch off on cooking, but the interaction between C and the Kiddos in the kitchen has C doing more of the cooking now. This also means the one on two interaction (i.e. playing) I had with the Kiddos changed. Now I get things prepared for them to go to bed...and kind of butted into their routine by having the Kiddos help me feed Pup-pup.

K is freshly home and your and JB's routine is well-established. However, with time, I am sure there wil be a change in routine with K being more involved (and maybe at times you may get a little jealous. I know I was jealous of how I was "ignored" by the Kiddos during cooking time.)   

Meegs10.13.06

Normally when I'm home, I take care of the majority of Gwen's stuff. I get dinner ready, I help her more with dinner, I do bath and more of the bedtime stuff. Generally she wants me to do most things with/for her.

That said, Trav does most of her morning stuff. That might change when we're no longer nursing, but for now our mornings look like this:

5ish: Gwen wakes, comes into bed with us, nurses and falls back to sleep

6am: Alarm goes off, Trav gets up and showers, dresses, takes dog out and feeds her. 

6 - 6:30: Gwen may wake anytime in here... sometimes she half-wakes and wants to nurse and sleep more.

6:30ish: Trav comes in to let me know he's ready. If Gwen's nursing, he goes to check his email for a few minutes while I finish. If she's sleeping, he switches places with me. If she's awake, he gets her giggling and carries her off to her room.

I pee, brush teeth, and hop in the shower while he changes her diaper and gets her dressed (I lay out her clothes every night), brushes her teeth and hair.

Then they head downstairs to have some breakfast and read books, play a little until I'm done. 

I get out and get dressed/do my hair, then come downstairs.

7:15 - 7:30 (depending on how smoothly things are running!): I get Gwen's and my shoes on while he grabs her lunch and snacks from the fridge and puts her milk into a cup. I get our coats on. We head out to the car and I get her into her seat so they can leave. 

After that I take the dog out back to poop, then grab breakfast, do any last minute stuff to get myself ready, take the dog out to pee one last time. 

8am: I leave for the train. 

rikkiandjulie

leapgirl8:

We don't have kids so I'll leave off the details about our morning routines, but it seems that K could at least move your car when she gets home at night so you are parked behind her and don't have to deal with that.

 

I agree, you do so much already.... ( that's meant to be none Judgy) 

mindingpandq

I usually do most of the morning stuff with DD, since DW leaves before we are even awake, but I think that everytime there is a change in routine, there is a bit of struggle to adjust. Sometimes, it is simply that we don't communicate when the change happens and we just each continue in each of our roles, but sometimes that doesn't work and we need to remind eachother to readdress each of our needs. Sometimes I think the parent who isn't accustomed to doing all the morning stuff doesn't realize how much it really is and a gentle reminder with specifics about what may be helpful can go a long way. Hopefully by now you have already discussed, but I thought I'd throw my thoughts out there anyway!