Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
zoeyandsummersmom
member
Re: Slow eater or not yet fully developed?
I would defininetly talk to the Dr. about this. Find out exactly what the feeding orders are.
So she is allowed to BF and then you still have to give her a bottle feeding? It seems like if she is BFing well (strong sucks and audible swallowing) and for long enough times (20 min is good) then the bottle and/or gavage should be held. How is your milk supply when you pump?
Most newborns only take about 1-2 oz at a feeding anyway. I had to speak up about my mother's intuition many times regarding the feedings, by saying things like "I feel like he got a good feeding and doesn't need any more". If she is gaining weight, it sounds like the orders need to be changed and the gavage feedings need to be discontinued so she can at least have a chance to to show she can take all the feedings by breast of bottle. Good luck!
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
I completely understand where you are coming from and feel like I could have written that exact post myself. Our LO is also a 39 weeker born at 27 weeks so we have spent 12 LONG weeks in the NICU and the only thing keeping her from coming home is about 2 bottles a day. Yesterday I finally had to put my foot down because her feeding plan was changing from shift to shift depending on who her nurse was and what they happened to feel worked 'best' for her. What I couldn't understand is how they know what is best when they keep changing their minds. She went from every 3 hours to a minimum/maximum, to every 4 hours to back to every 3 hours all within 2 days. It was really confusing and frustrating. We've have also been told several times that she will be coming home only to see that day pass with another gavage feeding because she won't finish her bottle.
I know they have done this longer than me, but I agree that mother's intuition count for something. When our LO is too gassy or is working on a poop she doesn't eat as well. But give her a few mintues and she is a total rockstar. We know that, but not every nurse does and they are often quick to count her out for that feed.Ugh.
I wish I had some wonderful, thoughtful advice to share but just wanted to let you know you aren't in it alone. This is by far the toughest part: being so close be seeing it slip away with one feed through the tube.
Hang in there! I'll keep you and your LO in my T&Ps. Happy eating to you
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
So glad she is getting to come home!