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December 2011 Moms
iluvmylab
member
if you are "done being pregnant" please read
iluvmylab
member
I don't mean for this to be snarky at all- I swear. But I think there are many people who are not informed on what "full term" really means. Yes, doctors will not stop labor after 37 weeks, but that does not mean that it's the best time for a baby to be born. Yes- most babies will do just fine and have no problems, but study after study finds that 39 weeks is the best time. I understand the discomfort- I have crying spells all the time, I feel like a whale, and I can't wait to get back to my old self. But I signed up for this- I agreed to pregnancy for 10 months- 40 weeks. And I don't wish for my baby to come any earlier than that unless there is a medical reason for it.
Just a few things to think about:
https://healthland.time.com/2011/05/26/is-patience-the-key-to-lowered-infant-mortality-rates/
Nilly, this is in no way directed at you. I've seen many posts in the past few weeks where ladies who are less than 37 weeks are doing things to induce labor naturally or saying that they are so ready for their babies to be here. Heck, on 3rd tri, there was a post from someone who was 31 weeks and she was "so over being pregnant."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: if you are "done being pregnant" please read
I agree 100%.
Best for mommy and baby to make it to at least 39 weeks...especially for brain and nervous system development (even though they can survive outside the womb at 37 weeks).
Thank you for posting this!
^^^^ THIS!
I too am already VERY uncomfortable - but more than willing to go up to 42 weeks. I also know... I'm going to get MUCH MORE UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! I say that hoping and wishing that really I don't have to be induced... but both my husband and I will drag our feet to be induced for as long as possible. I want the baby's entrance to be at the right time for both him and me! People did this WAY before medication was around - they wait... for their bodies to tell them they were ready for delivery!
I'm not trying to be preahy at all, but from reading many posts over the past couple of weeks, it seems that a lot of people think that babies born at 37 weeks are just as healthy as those born later, and that is not the case. I know that no one is hoping for a premie.
Absolutely agree. I know DD wasn't born as early as others on this board, and we haven't had serious issues with her, but that doesn't mean being born at 35 weeks is "healthy". I would have given so much to have her stay in for those last 5 weeks. I would love to still be pregnant and have her develop during those crucial last weeks. No, it wasn't exactly comfortable, but like you said - we signed up for this. I never really got to that "I'm so over this" either.
Please appreciate the opportunity to still have your LO's cooking - you don't realize how lucky you are. Who knows if we would have the same issues if she was full term (jaundice and abnormal newborn screen), but we never got the chance to find that out. And I feel like I wasn't able to do my job as a pregnant woman to keep her cooking for longer. Just some things to think about.
Thank you for posting this, iluvmylab.
Your u/s date is most likely the more accurate one. I charted while we were TTC, so knew exactly when I ovulated and was so glad that my doctor didn't use that stupid 28 day wheel to figure out my due date. When I went in for my 1st appointment, I told her that I was most likely 6 weeks along, not 8 like the wheel would have said. And the u/s was right on with what I said.
It's one thing if your body is gearing up for labor on it's own, but it's another if you go bouncing down the hallway on an exercise ball at 36 weeks to induce your own labor!
I am thrilled to death to have my daughter here with me, and even more happy that she is totally healthy. We made it to 37w5d, and she was developed enough that she hasn't had any issues. I would be lying if I said I still wasn't worried about her, especially during labor. Sitting in L&D with my water broken on the 22nd was not in the plans.
I can completely understand people that are "done being pregnant." I was one of them! That being said, my peace of mind would be been better had I been able to hang on for longer.
I am not sure if I have said I'm "over being pregnant", but I am definitely miserable and uncomfortable. That doesn't mean that anyone wants our babies born before they are ready. I'm sure many just meant it as a vent.
I, however, did post about being very anxious and worried because people kept mentioning mortality in newborns and during birth and that I had been dreaming about losing my baby for weeks now. Those articles definitely didn't help.
Breastfeeding and pregnant!
I've done my fair share of complaining, especially in the last couple of weeks, that's for sure! This is more in response to people saying that their babies can come or asking about how to naturally induce labor when they are only like 35-36 weeks or so. I totally understand being unfomfortable and wanting to vent about it- I know I've done that more than once lately!
I also post on the PGAL board and I had to stop visting that board in the last few weeks. Since the ladies there are all at different stages in pregnancy, people would post about their early losses and even that was really hard for me to read even though I'm a lot further along. So I totally understand being anxious and worried too.
I'm not throwing articles in anyone's face and this was surely not intended for those who have already had their babies, hence the title. I'm sorry if it seems that way, but I'm not trying to scare anyone who has already had their babies. I know that many ladies had early babies and of course it wasn't your choice and this post was in no way directed at those ladies.
this is where I am too. Everyone gets "done" at some point, that's fine. I'm definitely at that point but I know she'll come when she's ready, no matter what I do so I try not to worry about making her come any earlier.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
Honestly, I don't come around as often as I used to. Partly because it's more painful than I thought it would be to watch everyone have their take home babies. Also I think all the other December preemie moms have taken home their babies because they were due earlier in the month and delivered way later than 26 weeks.
But the other reason is because it sucks seeing the "I want my baby out now" posts. Complaints about being uncomfortable don't bother me at all but wanting to make the baby come out is different. I don't think anyone who hasn't had a preemie can understand the horrible sense of loss of not being able to carry your baby to term. It's been 2 months since I had Cameron but I still rub my flat belly and just feel horribly empty. I still find myself crying at night to DH because "I just want to be pregnant again". I literally sometimes, as crazy as this is, wish we would just get pregnant again with another baby because I feel SO robbed. I really wish people could just be grateful that they are physically able to carry their baby for as long as necessary.
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
And MrsFowler, I totally understand how you feel. Before anything bad happened in my pregnancy I obsessed about preterm labor (little did I know my fate) and cord accidents and all that stuff. Pregnancy is soooo stressful. I wanted 3-4 kids but I'm pretty sure I'm one and done. I hope this doesn't scare you even more, but Cameron's cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and the doctors hinted that had I carried her a lot further they can't say for sure she would have survived. The bigger she got the tighter the cord would get etc. Needless to say if I got pregnant again I'd be obsessing about preterm labor and even if I made it further than 26 weeks I'd obsess over cord accidents. It would just be really unhealthy for me. Again, I hope this doesn't scare you more. The doctor who did the c-section said she sees it wrapped once regularly, twice here and there, and three times she's never seen so it's not something you should worry about
And I can't wait to see pictures of your LO, she's going to be so cute and I'm sure she'll be just fine!!
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
And you are NOT CRAZY! As ready as I am to meet my little guy, I just know I will miss feeling him squirm around in my tummy. For 9 months he's been just all mine and I don't know if I'm ready to share him with the world yet.
On another note, do you have any idea when she'll be able to come home?
So all the millions of 37 weekers that are just as healthy are actually not just as healthy???? That's ridiculous. I understand your sentiment about people that are 31 weeks complaining, however, full term is called full term for a reason. MOST babies born at 37 weeks or later are just as healthy my 38 and 40 weeker.
I echo the feelings of those who agreed with iluvmylab. What is the rush, ladies? Yes, pregnancy is uncomfortable. There is a difference between wishing you could fast forward to week 40 and trying to induce at 36 weeks. I definitely wish week 40 would come soon, but there is no way I would do anything to make my baby come early. I can't believe it when people say they are jealous of the moms who gave birth early!
Also, is it just me or are there an awful lot of ladies on this board who are being induced? I don't know the medical reasons for it, but it seems like I read about it again and again.
Ugh I'm gonna lose my mind. For a long time they were thinking around 37 weeks corrected but now we know that's not gonna happen. She's still only 35w3d so still not full term. She is not really even close to taking all her food by bottle so that's the biggest thing we're working on. It's looking like that could take maybe to 38 or 39 weeks corrected. Her doctors are confident it will be before Christmas but much to my dismay we are still looking at probably like 4 weeks. I am sooooo sick of driving to the hospital every time I want to see my baby.
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
Ugh I'm gonna lose my mind. For a long time they were thinking around 37 weeks corrected but now we know that's not gonna happen. She's still only 35w3d so still not full term. She is not really even close to taking all her food by bottle so that's the biggest thing we're working on. It's looking like that could take maybe to 38 or 39 weeks corrected. Her doctors are confident it will be before Christmas but much to my dismay we are still looking at probably like 4 weeks. I am sooooo sick of driving to the hospital every time I want to see my baby.
PS- I truly hate what you have gone through. I am so happy to be Cameron progressing so well and I think we will all be so excited the day you post that you are able to take her home.
I agree with you, camjack. I also agree with what the others are saying, so I guess I see both sides of it. There is nothing wrong with hating the end of pregnancy--in fact I think it is biologically normal. It gets us ready for labor and delivery. I don't see anything wrong with complaining. Where I do see a problem is when people say they are jealous of the premie moms and hope that their baby comes early. It is not going to make labor come early to feel this way, but I can see how it would be offensive to the moms who had their babies in NICU.
I get being uncomfortable. We all are, to various degrees. And I get needing to vent/whine about how hard this is on our bodies. But personally, I will do anything possible to keep my LO in there until s/he is ready to come out. I can't wait to meet my LO, but the safety and well-being of my child comes, and will always come, before any personal discomfort of my own.
When I started going into labor at 32w, I cannot begin to describe how terrified I was at the possibility that LO might be born early. I felt like a failure as a mother, and could not imagine having to go home while my baby stayed at the hospital. I am thankful for each and every day that LO has stayed put since then.
Ella born 12/21/11
I understand this 100%. I have no envy for those moms who have delivered prematurely and and am so sorry for all they have been through. I do no wish a preemie on anyone including myself. I think there is a huge difference between those of us complaining, and those who are actually trying to induce labor. I whine and complain DAILY about how over this process I am, but the only thing I have done that could be considered an attempt at induction is have sex, and that was not an attempt to induce labor, it is a regular occurance in my house (something I never could've said when pg with the boys lol). I truly do understand what iluvmylab is saying with this post, my main point is that just because we are complaining, doesn't mean we are at home taking EPO, drinking raspberry tea and jumping around on exercise balls (all of which i find to be very scary and not for me).
Honestly, this post bugs me. Being "so over" being pregnant does not mean that we wish for premie babies, and I think anyone with common sense would see that. The end of pregnancy is uncomfortable, and even though we signed up for 40 weeks we are still allowed to be unhappy with how we feel. And no one in the history of the world has ever been able to wish a baby into being born early, late, or otherwise. Our babies come when they come, and no amount of hoping on anyone's part can change that, so what exactly is the harm in saying I'm ready for my baby at 38 weeks?
As for those people who try natural induction methods early, yeah I get that it's selfish to try to rush labor before LO is ready. BUT most "natural" induction methods are things that are already a part of daily life for most people: walking, eating spicy food, having sex. My doctor even has me bouncing and stretching on an exercise ball daily to stretch out my pelvis due to LO's size and in an effort to avoid a c-section. I'm not going to lie on the couch with my feet up for the next 2-4 weeks out of fear of starting labor. Short of medical induction, there are very few things that can be done to start labor before your body is ready. So what is the big deal if a woman wants to start walking more at 37 weeks?
Sorry for the long rant, but I just get sick of preachy posts like this. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're all grateful to have healthy babies that can cook until they're ready to come out. But that doesn't mean we can't hate being pregnant at the same time.
Just to add my 2 cents:
I think there's a better choice of words than "I'm done/over being pregnant." Even if you aren't meaning that you really want your baby here rightthisveryminute, it sounds like that's the intention. I'm guessing that most people are staring to get uncomfortable at this point, but complaining about it 24/7 won't help to make you more comfortable. I seriously don't get all of the "OMG, I'm SO sore/uncomfortable/etc..." posts that happen multiple times/day. Dude, what did you think was going to happen when you're growing a human?
ETA: I have a loss in my past, so I'm probably more sensitive to that choice of words than some others, which is totally my problem.
Expecting it doesn't make it any easier. This is my 3rd, I know how this works, and it is still a pain the arse. I could say the same thing regarding all the MIL, name posts, and hospital bag posts, but if we got rid of all those posts there would not be any posts on the board, so we will all continue to post about whatever we choose.
Amen, camjackmom! If you don't want to read about it, don't open it! I don't get the people who get bent out of shape over themes that occur again and again. I am dying to post something about my MIL and my hospital bag, but I don't dare. This is a pregnancy board, right? What else should we talk about...the new Twilight movie?
I personally like reading other people's complaints, because it makes me feel less isolated in this body that has a new mind of its own. It helps me feel normal and grounded. If everyone was posting about how happy they are to be pregnant, I would feel like the worst mom in the universe and probably cry into my pillow all day.
I, for one, would LOVE to talk about the new Twilight movie
. JK.
I don't mind reading complaint posts at all....if we can't complain here, then where can we? Venting/complaining is was not my beef with those posts at all. But I'm done arguing my point now. I think I was just on here saying how fat I feel and how I can't wait to start running again!
Now who wants to talk about Twilight???
Thank you. I did not read those articles because I know I would be a nervous wreck afterwards. We are being induced at 37w4d....due to health concerns. The last thing I want to think about is how my baby will not be ok...
MFI, Moving onto IVF-ICSI.
IVF #1 = BFP - sadly a blighted ovum discovered at 7 wks.
D+C 12/7/10.
IVF#2 - ER 3/27. 8 fertilized. ET 4/1; transferred 2 blasts; 2 frosties (total of 3 now)
Beta #1, 4/11 = 291! Beta#2, 4/18 = 2702. Beta #3, 4/25 = 17303.
Ultrasound #1, 4/29 = 1 perfect baby and heartbeat!.
7/21 = a/s! It's a boy!!
Robert Lawrence was born on December 1st at 4:32 am weighing 6lb 3oz, 19.5 inches long and healthy as anything!!
Those studies assume a normal, healthy pregnancy with no complications. If your doctor is inducing you earlier, than he/she knows that the risk of delivering a tad early are less than the risks of letting your pregnancy continue if you have complications. I'm sure your LO will be fine!
This post was directed at people who are.