Should've... Could've... Would've...

weddedwife · November 2011

I had a visit yesterday from a social worker. She posed a question to me: "What do all the should've, could've and would'ves have in common?"

When I couldn't think of an answer she said: "They didn't."

This made me think quite a bit; it's the true meaning behind "It is what it is". While I don't like it, it's true and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't change the past, although I desperately wish I could.

Just wanted to pass this along. Hoping one day I can accept it.

dandywarhol · November 2011

Thank you for sharing. That is one of the things I've been grappling with.

My friend made a statement that has stuck with me. I was going on about "Why would the Universe take my daughter? Sylvie would've been good for the world, good for the planet, good for people, good for animals." And my friend said, "I DO think the Universe wanted Sylvie here but for some random reason that we'll never know Sylvie died."

I know it doesn't seem like much but the thought of the Universe wanting Sylvie but randomness occurring has helped me.

shanaynerz · November 2011

This is so helpful. Thanks very much for sharing. I know it's true, but it's so hard to remember that what happened just happened, and it sucked, but we can't keep blaming ourselves forever.