I'm not bashing anyone that is keeping their babies name a secret until delivery, but I am just curious as to why? I've heard of so many couples doing this but never understood why. Probably because no one has ever given a reason. I guess a reason isn't need. Just interested to know/understand why some choose to do this. I give props to those who do, because I couldn't keep the secret haha
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Re: Keeping baby name a secret? Why?
I don't honestly know, I think its kind of fun to not share. We also have not picked. I don't want peoples opinions once we know and have the perfect name. Cause if they are not so nice, then I would second guess the name.
I also think it will be fun to have a onsie made for him to wear at the hospital that has his name on it. I can't wait to see everyones reaction
OMG I would have been so mad if we had this issue! There is no way that someone else would be naming my child other than my husband and I.
Last time I kept it a secret from everyone, only DH and I knew it. The main reason being is I have found people are so quick to share a negative story of someone that shares that name or a similar name. Like "my old roomate was named that and she stole $600 from me and was a horrible person". However when people are looking at a tiny newborn with that name, all they can say is how beautiful she is and don't even think of sharing negative stories they associate with that name. Basically I didn't want anyone trying to change my mind or spoiling my future daughters name for me.
I'm not sure what we will do this time around as we find out gender tomorrow hopefully.
we chose lloyd as middle name (oddly everyone loves our weird name, well everyone not on the bump ;-) lloyd was after my dhs great great gramps and is his middle name, his gram thinks we should have went with her dads name since he was nicer and went on the blab about how lloyd was a horrid drunk and its a bad name, well guess what we mainly picked it b/c its my husbands middle name and ray sounds stupid with the name we picked so either A change your dads name that doesnt sound shittty with our name or B shut up.
I tell people my nursery theme and they have no idea what the hell I am talking about, so that just say " Oh Nice" in this I have no idea what you are talking about tone of voice.
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We're not finding out the sex of our baby so we'll prepare names for both options. Definitely not sharing them with anybody, even family. We mentioned to MIL that we had been discussing names and she said "yes...???" as though we were going to share. She then proceeded to tell us what she'd name her children if they were born today. That's nice... but not for us.
Aside from the negative opinions/reactions (both sets of parents are teachers and have been for over 30 years each so I figure the chances are pretty high that they'll have a "I taught a (name) and they were a horrible little (insert obscenity here)" story to tell), I know too many people who are pregnant at the same time as me and I don't want anyone to "steal" the name!!
I also agree with PP - we want to reserve the right to change our minds if we want to.
I don't get the keeping the name a secret thing either. Then again the view I have on the reason of "we don't want to hear negative opinions/stories because it might make us change our mind" makes me give these parents the side-eye. Seriously if you are going to let someone's opinion make you second guess your name choice than you really need to find a backbone.
DH and I picked out our baby names long before we got pregnant and have openly shared them with everyone. No one has tried to tell us any horror stories about the names and seem to really like them. Then again most people who know us are aware that we don't really give a rat's a*s what you think about such a personal decision so don't even bother trying to change our mind.
I don't know that most people would want to change their name if someone shares a negative opinion on it. But, if you know your friends and family, and expect some negative responses why bother sharing the name? Why would anyone want to hear that about a name they love?? Pregnant couples get enough unsolicited advice and this is one area that can be controlled by the parents.
Our reasons for not telling:
We KNOW people will have negative opinions about our name, DH's grandparents have already "warned" us not to pick an uncommon name (which we did) and I don't really want to hear what they have to say.I agree with a PP who said that when people are looking at a sweet little baby they will be less likely to say negative things.
I want to reserve the right to change the name at the hospital if we look at him and think the name doesn't fit for whatever reason. I don't want any personalized items because I want to be able to pass along/donate baby items when I'm done with them. MIL already pressured us to tell so people could personalize things, but I just don't want anything like that.
Couple of reasons - I don't want people's opinions and I want some element of surprise at the birth.
We were team green for my DS and we told the girl and boy name we had chosen and I got lots of comments on our boys choice. I wasn't a fan of that.
This time around, we are team blue and everyone knows, but I want some element of surprise when the baby is born.
I do understand not wanting to get negative feedback. But I have seen the "it might make us change our mind" reason too and that's the one I side-eye.
And maybe I'm just lucky that the people we know may not like our name choice but wouldn't be rude enough to try and give us other suggestions. The only time we've gotten our friends opinions on names was when we still didn't know the sex and wanted help picking a middle name for a girl. And even in that situation DH posted on FB asking for what they thought.
In general we haven't gotten a lot of unsolicited advice from people. Which has been nice. Our friends do ask about some things and we share willingly . And since several of them have young kids there will be discussions in the group after someone has asked about "X" baby thing- what they did/didn't like. But never has anyone tried to force that we "have to" do something.
The main reason we're keeping our name a secret is because we are considering naming the baby after our fathers. In addition to wanting that to be a surprise for people, there is always the chance that we might pick another name and I would not want anyone to get attached to the family name and then be hurt or disappointed if we changed our minds.
I get why people don't share. At first, I wanted to keep the element of surprise and not share, but now I'm not so sure I'll have the will power to do that.
One thing we decided not to do, however, is share our possible choices. We haven't decided yet, and I don't want anyone trying to persuade us one way or another. I want the name to be 100% our choice.
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Norah Elizabeth - 3.19.12
For me, someone's opinion wouldn't change my mind, but not telling, I don't have to listen to their opinion about our choice.
We're not sharing. I don't want other people's opinions. And I have very opinionated families so the less they can complain about something, the better.
I am also keeping our boy's name a secret. Everyone knows the middle name because of a family tradition to use the father's first name as the son's middle name.
Hubby and I do not want anyone's opinions or advice regarding our son's name and I would be the type to second guess if people did not like it. I also want to meet our baby boy to make sure his name will fit him before it is revealed
We aren't sharing and it certainly has nothing to do with me not having a backbone (I probably have too much of one, actually). It's mostly because I don't want to spend the next however many months listening to my MIL complain about our name choices. Instead, she will love the baby when it arrives and just have to deal with the name we choose. We aren't changing it for anyone, but we also see her A LOT and already get nagged enough, i.e. "Am I ever going to even get to keep this baby?" "Aren't you too busy to have a baby?" etc etc.
In order to maintain some of my own sanity, I just closed the door on the subject entirely and left it at that.
We have told some friends who we trust (and don't run in our local circle), so it's not entirely a secret. Plus, we don't even have a girl name picked out yet, and DH is really leaning toward deciding in the hospital once we see the baby, which means there is no name to share until then!
We have a name picked out, but are not sharing it publicly with anyone as of right now - it's nice to have something to keep to ourselves when you end up sharing so many details of your pregnancy with other people. Some of my closest girlfriends know our name as we used to discuss baby names while we were all TTC, but we are not sharing with most friends and family or anyone random that asks.
Our name is a standard, classic name which DH and I love and agreed upon right away, but I don't want to hear any negative reactions or comments about it. And I'll admit somewhat selfishly, I don't really like monogramed items and fear that we'd get a zillion monogramed baby items.
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Personally I love being able to think of her by her name. It makes me feel more connected to her.
To each her own. I am clearly in the minority on this one (at least on this board; IRL none of my friends shared their baby names before their kids were born).
I agree with this as well. I initially thought I would try not to get attached to a name before he was born, but as soon as we knew the sex we started calling him "baby D" since his name starts with a D and it has stuck. I definitely feel more connected to him because I can use his name and sex.
We are keeping the names a secret for a variety of reasons
First, we are Team Green and since no one knows the sex there is no need to share potential names as the names may change and I don't want to explain why we changed a name.
Second, DH & I wanted to make sure that we choose the names without others influence. I know everyone can say they will do that but honestly I get so much advice/crap about small things at this point; I just refuse to give people something else to critique us on at this point.
Third, we have a few names for if we have a girl. I want to be able to choose that name with my DH based on what we feel is right as parents.
I have actually told one person who I trust for an opinion and I know they won't sway me and just give me what I asked for, the truth.
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