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2nd Trimester
mommabear17
member
The Duggars are after #20!
mommabear17
member
She's pregnant with number 20. Due in April.
I am just shaking my head.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The Duggars are after #20!
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
It is really sad and in my opinion, borders on child abuse. Its more like a work farm than a family. Time to close down the baby factory for crying out loud!
Good for them. It seems like they can handle it and/or afford it.
It's not so nice to judge. Most of us are only a generation or two removed from 10+ kid families. Our great grandparents could handle it....
On the other hand, I like to work and I know I'm not cut out to stay at home, so we're stopping at 2.
THIS!!!
Holy cow!!!! I figured after the problems she had with the last one they would FINALLY decide to use some BC...guess not. I just hope everything goes ok this time around!
Part of me feels really bad for all their kids. You know she doesn't parent them all by herself. The older ones are all responsible for taking care of the younger ones.
Then again I guess they don't know any better and it's just all practice for when each one of them has 20 kids of their own.
There is a huge difference between 10 kids and 20 kids, especially when the last child spend months in the NICU. I don't know if its about the parents being able to "handle it" when they delegatae much of the child rearing to the older kids.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
I thought their used car lots financed the baby making in the beginning.....
It's too bad their youngest was premature, etc. But I don't think that's a reason to stop having kids. If that ill child were their only child, I don't think everyone would be so quick to judge.
Anyway, my parents had 2 kids. There's a 7.5 year age difference. My parents did a lot of delegating to me as well. It's just an unfortunate part of being the eldest daughter. Every family I know with older daughters delegates cooking, cleaning, and baby watching.
They also have real estate that they rent for income.
I just hope things go better for her this time. I think with 19 kids already, having a child in your mid-40's is tempting fate a little. Pre-eclampsia is something that you have a higher risk of the farther past 40 you are, plus she has already had it before which can increase your odds.
I agree with PP though that they are good parents and will love their LO. I hope it all works out well!!! And all our little February babies will be two months older than a Duggar
This is ridiculous and these parents clearly have psych problems. I really hope they aren't continuing to expand their family for the media attention/TV show.
That being said, even with the money they make from TV , I do not see how it is financially feasible to pay for all these children- pay for their college education - the food bill alone is enough to make me nearly pass out. How does a parent actually parent and give adequate attention to each child? It's impossible.
And 1-2 generations ago having 10 children was certainly not the norm. Both of my parents grew up in the middle of nowhere in the heartland on working farms . My mom had one sibling her parents had 2 siblings. Even the generations before that didn't have 10 children. My dad had 4 siblings and neither of my grandparents had that many siblings nor the generations before them. So having that many children certainly wasn't the standard ...and having TWENTY is just insane.
I was over half a decade older than my younger sibling and my parents NEVER delegated raising , cooking, cleaning and caring for my younger sibling to me as the older daughter. So no it's not an " unfortunate part" of being an eldest daughter.
This. I don't really think that they are being fair to the older children - of course she feels like she can handle more babies, she relies largely on her daughters to help raise them.
And, I kind of thought that after her last child that perhaps she would stop getting pregnant. The poor baby was severely premature.
ugh, I really don't want to get involved in this conversation because everyone is entitiled to their own opinion, but I do want to point out that "19 Kids & Counting" is a tv show, edited to show only the things that TLC thinks we will find interesting, WE have NO idea who these people are or how they actually live their lives.
With that pointed out, from what we do see the children live in a nice orderly clean house, have chores that teach them responsibility, are always dressed nicely, well fed, and live with structure and routine which is important for everyone. They go on family vacations, and spend a lot of time as a family, they celebrate everyone's birthday equally. They appear to be happy and healthy children.
I do understand the health concerns for Michelle and her children.
I'm sorry, an older daughter watching one or two children...no big deal. But those older girls are watching 10+ kids!
Also, Michelle is in her late 40's. Pregnancy is not 'recommended' for anyone that old or older. Don't be an AW on TV if you don't want/expect to be judged.
I don't see what the problem is. They aren't asking anyone else to raise or support their children and they certainly aren't asking anyone else to have 20 kids.
Their children seem happy, well adjusted and responsible.
I get grief for expecting #5 and it's so frustrating bc it's OUR choice. most ppl with super size families are also on the religious side and it takes an extraordinary leap of faith to trust God to take care of your family, financially and otherwise. I admire her faith and stamina.
I agree with the PP who said that if her 1st baby was a preemie, no one would judge her for wanting another. Some people are very happy to be done with 1 or 2. Others still desire and welcome children way past that point.
Different strokes for different folks, people. Her having 100 children doesn't effect your life in the least.
If you think she's a crackpot, don't watch her show, don't follow her in the news and don't buy her books. And certainly don't comment on what you don't understand. She probably feels sorry for those people that have small families, but obviously doesn't comment on it.
Further, these are people that have zero debt. They live on a budget and only buy what they can afford. More of us should do the same.
There is a family where I grew up that had 22 kids and everyone respected them. As someone pointed out, we are only one generation back from regular 5+ and 10+ kid families. Who cares how many kids they have, the kids are well cared for and well-behaved, and their family is self-sufficient and shows kindness to those around them. That is a lot more than can be said for 95% of reality show characters such as Basketball Wives or any of the Real Housewives.
As someone who has suffered a m/c, I now understand a lot better why they won't use BC. Now I feel like children and pregnancy are so incredibly precious and also fragile that I wouldn't ever go back on BC.
While I'm sure they make money off of the show, they also own several properties that they rent out. They do make their own living as well. It is not like they are living off of TV like Octomom.
I love this family, and I think it is silly that people get upset and judgemental about these kids. These kids are clothed, fed, and well taken care of. They also have wonderful manners and are very responsible. We should be cracking down on the child abusers, not these people.
At what point did it become a right to not have to contribute to the well being of the family you're in? Not that long ago you'd be expected to help out with a lot of hard manual labor just so everyone could have something to eat at the end of the day. I think more kids need to be taught to help others and realize that the world does not revolve around them.
And who says that parents have to provide college education? Mine only had three and couldn't. I had to work my butt off and pay my own way (without government assistance). Does that mean they should have stopped at one so they could hand me a college education? Would that have made me a better person?
I certainly consider them "weird" and there is no way I'm having that many kids a (or naming them all with one letter), but there are so many other situations in the world to get outraged about. What about all the people having kids who can't pay their own bills and are relying on government support? Or the kids actually being physically abused. Or all the children being aborted in the womb by women who want to have all the sex without the consequences. Or all the kids starving all over the world for whatever reason. I just don't get what the big stink about this is.
Then are you saying that if you take the extra money from the show away, that they would be completely capable of taking care of their enormous family? Through some rented properties and small jobs??
I'm struggling to agree.
Before the show started they were financially able to take care of their family just fine and it wasn't a whole lot smaller than it is now.
Someone on my BMB mentioned that their healthcare is through the State of AK, as Jim Bob is a state legislator. So *technically* the healthcare is being financed by the state.
Though, I don't believe anyone should have the right to tell any employee how many children they should have. But I also believe that elected civil servants should be part time, as originally intended. Which would change their eligability for healthcare. That's for a different discussion.
Well, they did it with 14 kids (the number they had when the first special aired), so I can't see how they can't also do it with the 18 they have at home now. Of course they had a smaller house then, but they were still living debt-free. Mr. Duggar must make a lot of money in his real estate business - otherwise he would not have been running for the state legislature.
How big was their family then?
I have watched a number of seasons and I have to say I'm more impressed with them than not. They make a lot of choices that are the opposite of what I would do, but they are amazingly thoughtful parents who put a lot of effort into valuing each and every child. ALL the children have chores which seems like an essential part of teaching your child responsibility, I don't see why it should be any different for them.
It is amazing how far money will go if you are frugal. They don't have tv, video games, they only have a couple vehicles at all, do their own home and car repairs, etc.
Lastly, I am very uncomfortable with the idea that we can tell others what religious beliefs they may hold. I know there are lots of women on this board who are pro-life for religious reasons; the Duggers simply go further, believing that they should leave their family size up to God. I hope this pregnancy goes better.
They are also completely debt free and own property on which sits a cell phone tower. The company that owns the tower contacted them about renting the land, which they say makes up a lot of their income. They also do a lot of service acts, for which they pay out of their own pocket, including a yearly trip to South America around Christmastime, during which they buy groceries & other necessities for families in the area, and bring Christmas gifts for the kids in the villages. I don't think they will ever have trouble taking care of their family, show or not.
Response reposted from the Feb 2012 board:
I'm not going to give this a lot of time: I am admittedly very biased towards them, because I am related to them. However, I do want to point out a few things that you may not get from the "media";
1. Josie was born in December of 2009. She will be two years old in a month or so. They were under the impression that Josie was going to be the last, based on the length of time between the last baby and this one.
2. Pre-E can occur with your first pregnancy, your third pregnancy, etc., and never happen again. Aunt Michelle is 45, but her body/hormones are that of a much younger woman, because of how often and how recently her body has "re-set" itself. The media likes to pretend that she is terribly unhealthy (gall bladder, etc.) but in reality, she is in really great health right now (and was, even before she was pregnant with Josie) - she just chooses not to flaunt these aspects, due to being very conscious of modesty.
3. Again, media likes to paint a picture of the older children parenting the younger children...I can't stress enough that Uncle Jim Bob and Aunt Michelle are VERY involved and while visiting, I have never felt that the older kids are taken advantage of at all, nor are the little ones neglected by mom and dad.
4. All I can say is that this is not for attention or ratings - they love children. They love being parents, and would be having baby #20 regardless of whether or not they were in the media spotlight.
The statement that they "clearly have psych problems" really bothers me. They believe that conception and children should be in God's hands, and that he will give them as many children as he wants them to have. There are Christians who subscribe to what's often referred to as the "Quiverfull" philosophy who don't believe in using birth control because they believe that the decision of how many children a couple has should be up to God. The name refers to Psalm 127: 3-5 in the Bible ("Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.")
I know a few families who don't believe in using birth control for this reason, and they definitely don't have "psych problems." They are wonderful people who are doing what they believe is right. I don't agree with their point of view, but I think it's closed-minded and disrespectful to assume that someone who has different beliefs that you do must automatically have "psych problems." Anyone who has any kind of religious beliefs (or none at all) will automatically have a point of view that disagrees with other religious beliefs, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the world is crazy because they don't agree with you.
The Duggars continuing to have children has everything to do with their religious beliefs and nothing to do with media attention. One of the "Quiverfull" families that I know (they have 11 children and 0 psychiatric problems) actually knows the Duggars through their homeschooling co-op, and they knew them long before the Duggars were famous. They've always believed in having as many children as God wanted them to have.
I could never cope with having 20 children, and I don't understand how anyone else can, but I'm certainly not going to write people off as crazy because what they believe is different from what I believe.