Babies on the Brain

In general, how young is too young?

Ive had baby fever sooo bad the last few months and I feel I am emotionally and financially ready for a child, however I am quite young and my fianc? is too. So I'll ask you ladies,how young is too young?
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Re: In general, how young is too young?

  • IMO, if you are asking a group of strangers if you are too young - you are too young.
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  • Generally speaking, of course, whatever age you currently are. Plus 5 years.
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  • How are you financially ready for a child if you can't afford to get married for two more years?
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  • imageludicrous:
    How are you financially ready for a child if you can't afford to get married for two more years?

    Excellent question

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  • imagerobinsokj:

    imageludicrous:
    How are you financially ready for a child if you can't afford to get married for two more years?

    Excellent question

    Exactly This! 

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  • imageHappyAardvark:
    Generally speaking, of course, whatever age you currently are. Plus 5 years.
    t

    exactly. 

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  • Nice to see your financial state has improved so much since just June. Please, tell us your investment secrets!!!

     

    We're thinking for one of our anniversaries we'll have the whole thing like we originally planned since we're poor college students at the moment. Our budget is pretty pathetic - around a thousand or so.
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  • How old are you?
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  • I'm 21, DH is 25. But I think it depends on a lot of factors. I'd like to consider myself more mature than the average 21 year old. I've been living on my own since I was 16, held a steady job since I was 15, and DH and I have been together since I was 16 as well. DH is a teacher, and we have great medical insurance thanks to his job, reliable cars, a home, and a supportive family if we ever needed them. You need to be sure that you are ready in all aspects of your life, not just in age. I'm also about to graduate college with two degrees. 
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  • Personally I don't think anyone under the age of 25 should have a baby.  I know lots of people will disagree, but that's my opinion.
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  • I thought I was ready at 21.  Looking back, I was out of my mind.  I am so glad I waited. 

    I agree, I think after 25 is a good age.

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  • Honestly, I am 25 and although I think we are doing great with our son, there are things I never even thought about when it comes to jobs and finances before having a child. I couldn't tell you if I would have had the realizations had we waited a few more years, or if having a baby showed me these things, so if someone who was younger than 25 said they were ready, I'd probably tell them to wait. 
  • There are some great moms in their early 20s, but that isn't always the case.  I think it's best to go to school and graduate college/trade school before you have a child. 

    I would say around 25 or 26 at minimum.

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  • imageCLECyclist:

    imageAliciaS1411:
    I'm 21, DH is 25. But I think it depends on a lot of factors. I'd like to consider myself more mature than the average 21 year old. I've been living on my own since I was 16, held a steady job since I was 15, and DH and I have been together since I was 16 as well. DH is a teacher, and we have great medical insurance thanks to his job, reliable cars, a home, and a supportive family if we ever needed them. You need to be sure that you are ready in all aspects of your life, not just in age. I'm also about to graduate college with two degrees. 

     OP these two statements alone tell me you're not ready. Plus, a degree (or two) does not equal a job or income. If you're a real-deal grownup you don't have to justify these things to yourself, or anyone else. Just my opinion.

    Um, she's not the OP.
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  • I don't know, some of those Teen Moms are doing really well for themselves.

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  • imagedanlexi04:
    imageCLECyclist:

    imageAliciaS1411:
    I'm 21, DH is 25. But I think it depends on a lot of factors. I'd like to consider myself more mature than the average 21 year old. I've been living on my own since I was 16, held a steady job since I was 15, and DH and I have been together since I was 16 as well. DH is a teacher, and we have great medical insurance thanks to his job, reliable cars, a home, and a supportive family if we ever needed them. You need to be sure that you are ready in all aspects of your life, not just in age. I'm also about to graduate college with two degrees. 

     OP these two statements alone tell me you're not ready. Plus, a degree (or two) does not equal a job or income. If you're a real-deal grownup you don't have to justify these things to yourself, or anyone else. Just my opinion.

    Um, she's not the OP.
    Yeah... what she said.
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  • I don't understand why anyone planning on getting married wouldn't wait until after they are married to have children.
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  • imagenoryang:
    IMO, if you are asking a group of strangers if you are too young - you are too young.

    agreed.  

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  • imageDrBeepersWife:

    I thought I was ready at 21.  Looking back, I was out of my mind.  I am so glad I waited. 

    I agree, I think after 25 is a good age.

    Yep.  I thought I was completely ready at around 21.  I am so glad I waited because I am a much different person now than then.  25ish seems like a good age to me too.

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  • If I could do it all over again, I'd wait until I was 30.  And I waited until 28.
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  • imageCLECyclist:

    imagedanlexi04:
    imageCLECyclist:
    Um, she's not the OP.

     Regardless. Anyone saying these things, or asking,. It's one of those "If you have to ask" things. Coffee didn't kick in yet, sorry if I thought this person was the OP.

    Smile

    She's not asking, she's already pregnant.
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  • imageludicrous:
    imageCLECyclist:

    imagedanlexi04:
    imageCLECyclist:
    Um, she's not the OP.

     Regardless. Anyone saying these things, or asking,. It's one of those "If you have to ask" things. Coffee didn't kick in yet, sorry if I thought this person was the OP.

    Smile

    She's not asking, she's already pregnant.

    YesYes

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  • Depends on your life circumstances but seriously if you can't afford a wedding then you sure as hell can't afford your kid and having to ask if your ready is absolutely a red flag that your not. I sure as hell wasn't ready when my husband sat his daughters carseat down in my floor two years ago and that wasn't even my own child (as far as I'm concerned she is now though).  Be sure to read up on birth control and start protecting yourself- trust me there is never any hurry to have a child EVER and you'll be grateful that you waited. Not saying there's ever a perfect time (stuff happens like I lost my job at 5 months) but at least wait until ya'll are married, financially stable (yes that includes a savings account) with a home and have any kinks in your relationship worked out. For what its worth I'm 24 with my 23 year old husband and will have two children full time by December so I'm not giving the whole "I'm older therefore wiser" speech but the OMG WTH life experience speech. Love my babies but they change EVERYTHING.
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  • Personally, I felt ready at 22. However our life was not ready for a baby. So we waited two years before we started TTC. I'm really glad we did. Not just to get our lives in order, but also because it gave me time to really think about the decision to become a parent and prepare myself for it. I'm 25 now and this feels like a good age. Truthfully, you'll only benefit from waiting a few years.
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  • That's not what I asked. I asked in your opinion how young is too young for anyone. 

     

    And I'm quite surprised at the other vicious comments on here as well. I can afford a wedding now if I wanted but that's not the point. I don't see why that was even brought up. I am more than halfway through with getting my degree and I'm not a teen. This was a simple question of what age do you ladies think is too young. I didn't expect  so much of my personal life to be brought up. 

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  • That wasn't what I asked and honestly none of your business. 
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  • That was VERY uncalled for. 

    If I have to justify myself, my fianc?e graduated from college and landed a job making over twice as much as he made before and we moved to a much nicer apartment complex in a better part of town. If we wanted a wedding right now it could be done, but that isn't a priority for us. I don't see anything wrong with having children before marriage. That's quite an outdated rule of society.  

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  • Sadly this is not a question that can be answered with a number. Since we all hit puberty at a different time, we will all mature at a different time.

    Before you jump on the baby-making just yet take all factors into consideration for things that you've not done yet in life. Was there a vacation spot you wanted to hit with your FI before you had children? Maybe a more mom friendly vehicle (if you don't have)? Are you satisfied in the house/place that you are living in?

    Maybe draw a list up of the pros and cons of having kids before marriage. Like, does your ''perfect wedding'' have you sporting a baby bump, or a toddler or two running about? Would you actually have the time or stability after kids to have your dream wedding? Or a honeymoon, etc.

    I suggest even taking a few more months to think it thru and chat with close friends who will tell you ''as is'' as opposed to get overly excited about baby-booties.

    And remember, the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb is you can unscrew the light bulb ;)         Best wishes to you and yours regardless of which path you take!

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