A Little Sobering Surprise on Halloween
So I was surfing FB enjoying everyone's Halloween pictures when I got into a chat with an OOT friend of mine. I had noticed she had been awfully quiet lately and usually she is burning up my feed around Halloween because she's Wiccan and Halloween is a big, big, big deal for her. So I messaged her and learned she and her H (another friend of mine) are divorcing. After 16 years of marriage and two children.
I am so surprised and saddened. It's a huge surprise to me because these two have always been very affectionate, intimate, loving, accepting of each other, etc. I am not sure what happened but it was a sobering reminder to me that 1) we never really know what's going on in someone else's marriage - even if we know the people well we are always just spectators, and 2) no matter how good things are you have to work to keep them that way.
Marriage is tough. I am sad for my friends.
Re: A Little Sobering Surprise on Halloween
How awful.
Everything you said is true though, you just never know what's going on in someone else's life. And, I never believed it until I was there, but marriage is TOUGH! We had been together for 6 years and lived together for 4 before we got married, we have hit some VERY rough patches after we got married (never had any issues prior). I thank god every single day that we have fallen more in love than we've ever been
Oh dear. That is incredibly sad. You really don't know what's going on with other people, do you?
Last year I witnessed a couple with whom I've been friends since college who were married 9 years split up and subsequently divorce. There were no kids which is good but it doesn't diminish the sadness of the situation. I'm still friends with both of them (and they are still friends) but I miss them as a couple all the time.
Some are just really good at hiding it.
After H's affair, my parents told me that they had no idea that things were so bad between us. They didn't know we were having problems. I didn't want to tell them what was going on because I felt that my marriage problems were for me and H to deal with. After the affair though, I stopped being quiet about it and have found a lot of support to help me through the divorce.