If DH is home, he answers the door anytime the doorbell rings. When he's gone, I never answer it unless I'm expecting someone. Packages can get left on the porch, and if it's not a package it's usually a salesman. I don't have any neighbors or friends who just stop by, so I don't see the need to answer. Besides, I just don't feel safe doing it. What do you do?
Re: do you answer the door if you're home alone?
I don't see the point in not answering the door. If it's a salesman, I tell him no thanks and ask that we be removed from their route. Then I don't have to see them at my door again. I'd rather get accept my packages than have them set back to the receiving center or left on my step. If the person looks shady, I don't open the glass door and tell them I'm not interested in what ever they have. I've got pretty big b*lls, though.
Through all my years of law enforcement, I've seen that people who seem less timid are less often targets. Criminals are more likely to go for people they see as weak. If they know you are home and won't come to the door, they know you are less likely to put up a fight. Just look out the window and check to see who is there first. If they look shady, don't open the door.
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Yes, this is a serious question.
I have lived alone, and I hated it. I didn't answer the door then, either. I know I have serious anxiety issues regarding intruders. It's irrational, but there have been some nights when I get thoughts in my head that someone might be hiding in my house. My mind will literally not rest until I check every single room and closet in my house, phone in hand ready to dial 911. And before anyone suggests it, I already have an alarm system. It helps a lot, but sometimes I still get anxious thoughts that I can't get rid of.
And really, what is the point of answering? Like I said, it's either a package or a salesman. I can't see which it is unless I run to the other side of the house (we have a weird layout). By the time I do that, they're already walking away.
ETA: If you don't like packages sitting on your porch, I understand that. It just doesn't bother me. Like answering the door might not bother you.
I live on base, so the only people at my door tend to be neighbors (who I know by sight if not by name) and maintenance people from the housing office, who are always in uniform and wearing their ID badges. Package delivery people put the package down, and ring the bell; they're always back to their truck and gone by the time I get to the peephole.
That being said, even prior to living on base and living alone I always at least checked through the peephole/window to see who it was. Normally I'd answer it, but there were a few shady people I didn't know whom I ignored.
I keep my doors locked and if someone knocks I look though a window or our peephole and see who it is. If I know them - I answer. If I don't - I don't.
But I don't just ignore the door for 7 months at a time.
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Our front door is maybe four feet from a busy sidewalk (a metro station is less than two blocks away--we see a lot of foot traffic). Typically, I do not answer the door unless I know in advance who is on the other side. At night, hell no. Granted, if they were going to break in, they would not knock. But, whose to say they aren't casing the neighborhood? There have been cases of attempted "smash and grab" in the past in my neighborhood.
Perhaps after our next move, depending upon where we live, my behavior when the doorbell rings may be different. But, I don't know. When I lived in TN, I left multiple lights on downstairs, all night. I figured that a burglar would be less apt to break into a home that was brightly lit. Who me, paranoid? Sometimes. But it is not negatively impacting my life.
Typically I answer the door....during the day. At night I usually don't unless I am expecting someone. Honestly, if someone wanted in they will get in someway, somehow and at whatever time of day suits them. I do not think this is necessarily an issue of putting your big girl panties on and opening the damn door as it was previously put. Some people are just more mindful and uncomfortable with it then others are.
I get the being anxious about opening the door but to the OP your anxiety seems a bit on the high/impacting your life side of things. Maybe not but that is how it is coming off to me.
Ditto the bolded. I've never been through a deployment with DH, but he's been TDY for weeks at a time and I try avoid making it obvious that he's not there - grass mowed, mail picked up, trash cans out for trash day and back in in the afternoon, etc. That includes answering the door.
I can't imagine not answering the door just because H isn't home. I lived on my own for several years before marrying DH and I managed just fine. I feel like it's a waste of my energy to be afraid of the world all the time. I'm not saying don't be cautious and use your judgment, but the world is not as scary as some people make it out to be.
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I have really loud dogs so I will usually answer with one of them or call my neighbor if the person rings twice so she can look out or come out to her porch. She does the same to me but we live on base so we are rather close.
I will say once I answered the door when we lived off base and I just so happened to be making dinner so I answered the door with a large knife, I think I scared the UPS guy but I told him I need security whe H is not home. He laughed.
I usually do not answer unless I am expecting someone. If it is a neighbor they know to say "hey this is ___ from next door"...
Yes, I answer the door when I'm home alone! I did it when I lived alone prior to H, and when I had roommates, so I don't see why being married would change that. I'm a grown-up too, I can answer the door and do all sorts of things without my H. I'm careful in that I check who's out there before I open it, and if it's someone I'm not expecting I generally am more cautious and ask what they want before opening the glass door all the way, but I answer the door.
Like someone mentioned, I think it's far more dangerous to come across as not confident or to act as if you ARE alone and scared than not.
Never! No matter how safe my neighborhood is.
Oh and I'm not wuss. I lived alone for 10 yrs working before I commissioned into the military and married my DH.
i agree I always answer the door.. andi normally will say something like "babe can you switch the loads" that way they think someone is home.. and i'll just tell them No thank you and close the door. I mean If i seem scared then they will know something is up... but im also from Chicago.. lol.. sooooo I've been around my fare share of "sketchy" people being on public transportaion at all hours lol..
i agree I always answer the door.. andi normally will say something like "babe can you switch the loads" that way they think someone is home.. and i'll just tell them No thank you and close the door. I mean If i seem scared then they will know something is up... but im also from Chicago.. lol.. sooooo I've been around my fare share of "sketchy" people being on public transportaion at all hours lol..
haha, i am just like you. i am sooo paranoid. Everynight i check the door a few times to make sure it's locked. I check the closet, look around the room. Which is sad..because i stay at home all day with my son.. lol. But we don't have a peephole, so i usually open the door. I live in an apartment building, so i kind of figure if something were to happen i could scream loud enough. Also, i always make sure i leave the door only a little open if i don't know who it is (salesmen)..or if it's someone "coming to inspect the house" i leave the door wide open and stand in front of it so that if he were to try to attack i could run out the door.
Don't let the people who are talking to you like you're deluded or something. It's not a bad thing to be cautious. lol
Yeah, but there are other options of things it could be. Take it from a person whose apartment building got struck by lightning - neighbors and police will knock if there is an emergency that you are not aware of. What if someone sees your house on fire? Or your car being stolen? I'm not trying to say you are horrible or anything ('cuz you're not). I'm trying to show you other possibilities is all.
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Yeah, but there are other options of things it could be. Take it from a person whose apartment building got struck by lightning - neighbors and police will knock if there is an emergency that you are not aware of. What if someone sees your house on fire? Or your car being stolen? I'm not trying to say you are horrible or anything ('cuz you're not). I'm trying to show you other possibilities is all.
My little angel RIP August 12, 2010 - September 5, 2010