Military Families

do you answer the door if you're home alone?

If DH is home, he answers the door anytime the doorbell rings.  When he's gone, I never answer it unless I'm expecting someone.  Packages can get left on the porch, and if it's not a package it's usually a salesman.  I don't have any neighbors or friends who just stop by, so I don't see the need to answer.  Besides, I just don't feel safe doing it.  What do you do?

Hilary
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Re: do you answer the door if you're home alone?

  • I agree, I don't usually answer the door unless I see the delivery truck or mailman or know that someone is coming over.  Just seems unnessisary to answer the door.
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  • I don't see the point in not answering the door.  If it's a salesman, I tell him no thanks and ask that we be removed from their route.  Then I don't have to see them at my door again.  I'd rather get accept my packages than have them set back to the receiving center or left on my step.  If the person looks shady, I don't open the glass door and tell them I'm not interested in what ever they have.  I've got pretty big b*lls, though. 

    Through all my years of law enforcement, I've seen that people who seem less timid are less often targets.  Criminals are more likely to go for people they see as weak.  If they know you are home and won't come to the door, they know you are less likely to put up a fight.  Just look out the window and check to see who is there first.  If they look shady, don't open the door. 

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  • I answer it if its a delivery.  I don't if its a solicitor.

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  • DH always called me paranoid, but I don't answer the door if I'm home alone. I never have, and I don't plan on changing anytime soon.
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  • What happens if you lived alone before you got married? Is this a serious question??? Put on your big girl panties and answer the damn_door.
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  • I answer the door but I have 3 guns in the house.
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  • imageLemonLover33:
    What happens if you lived alone before you got married? Is this a serious question??? Put on your big girl panties and answer the damn_door.

    Yes, this is a serious question. 

    I have lived alone, and I hated it.  I didn't answer the door then, either.  I know I have serious anxiety issues regarding intruders.  It's irrational, but there have been some nights when I get thoughts in my head that someone might be hiding in my house.  My mind will literally not rest until I check every single room and closet in my house, phone in hand ready to dial 911.  And before anyone suggests it, I already have an alarm system.  It helps a lot, but sometimes I still get anxious thoughts that I can't get rid of. 

    And really, what is the point of answering?  Like I said, it's either a package or a salesman.  I can't see which it is unless I run to the other side of the house (we have a weird layout).  By the time I do that, they're already walking away.

    ETA: If you don't like packages sitting on your porch, I understand that.  It just doesn't bother me.  Like answering the door might not bother you. 

    Hilary
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  • I live on base, so the only people at my door tend to be neighbors (who I know by sight if not by name) and maintenance people from the housing office, who are always in uniform and wearing their ID badges. Package delivery people put the package down, and ring the bell; they're always back to their truck and gone by the time I get to the peephole.

    That being said, even prior to living on base and living alone I always at least checked through the peephole/window to see who it was. Normally I'd answer it, but there were a few shady people I didn't know whom I ignored.

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  • I answer the door. I couldn't not answer it for a year. And if I'm sitting in the living room, whomever is on my porch can see me so it's not like I can pretend to not be there, lol.
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  • I keep my doors locked and if someone knocks I look though a window or our peephole and see who it is.  If I know them - I answer.  If I don't - I don't.

    But I don't just ignore the door for 7 months at a time. 

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  • I answer or attempt to answer the door if my H isn't home. I understand the fear of not wanting to, also. (We were robbed earlier this year when we weren't home) These days by the time I get up, check the window and turn off the alarm system they are gone. My H also bought me pepper spray that I keep near my front door in case of an emergency when he's not home. Most of the time it's a package or some church group going door to door. Once they hear my dog bark and I say "not interested" they are gone. I can't imagine not answering my door the entire time my H is deployed or TDY. I try to make things look as normal as possible when he's gone so no one notices.
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  • I answer, but I have two dogs, one who weighs 140 lbs.  so i dont really worry to much about people trying to get in.
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  • I usually just check the peep hole and answer the door. But when we lived in Hawaii our door was usually open so it was just a screen door. So they know im home. In Texas I didnt answer it unless I knew the person but I lived in a creepy area there and there were break ins all the time. So I guess it really depends on the situation.
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  • Honestly? If they really intend you harm they're probably not going to ring the bell. And while a gun in the house is nice, unless its in your waistband when you go to answer the door and you're a quick draw its not going to be very helpful. Be aware. Look out the peep hole or window first. Answer and don't seem timid about it. You look like a much harder target.
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  • imageLemonLover33:
    What happens if you lived alone before you got married? Is this a serious question??? Put on your big girl panties and answer the damn_door.
    I own several pairs of big girl panties, but I am very mindful of opening the door when randoms knock. I lived on my own (well, without a husband) for 14 years before getting married. But, many of the places where I lived had some form of control in place. I know that they are not failsafe, other tenants can buzz people in, but, it was a different living environment. Neighbors were mere yards away, and, my door was not right on the street.

    Our front door is maybe four feet from a busy sidewalk (a metro station is less than two blocks away--we see a lot of foot traffic). Typically, I do not answer the door unless I know in advance who is on the other side. At night, hell no. Granted, if they were going to break in, they would not knock. But, whose to say they aren't casing the neighborhood? There have been cases of attempted "smash and grab" in the past in my neighborhood.

    Perhaps after our next move, depending upon where we live, my behavior when the doorbell rings may be different. But, I don't know. When I lived in TN, I left multiple lights on downstairs, all night. I figured that a burglar would be less apt to break into a home that was brightly lit. Who me, paranoid? Sometimes. But it is not negatively impacting my life.
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  • I'm not saying to just swing open to the door anyone and their mother but at least look and see who it is. I have had a police officer ring my bell and I opened the door with the chain on and called the station and gave them his badge number to verify why ge was there and wanted in. But to not answer the door at all us quite silly. Use common sense.
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  • Typically I answer the door....during the day. At night I usually don't unless I am expecting someone. Honestly, if someone wanted in they will get in someway, somehow and at whatever time of day suits them.  I do not think this is necessarily an issue of putting your big girl panties on and opening the damn door as it was previously put. Some people are just more mindful and uncomfortable with it then others are.

    I get the being anxious about opening the door but to the OP your anxiety seems a bit on the high/impacting your life side of things. Maybe not but that is how it is coming off to me.

  • imagePrincess Fireball:
    I answer or attempt to answer the door if my H isn't home. I understand the fear of not wanting to, also. (We were robbed earlier this year when we weren't home) These days by the time I get up, check the window and turn off the alarm system they are gone. My H also bought me pepper spray that I keep near my front door in case of an emergency when he's not home. Most of the time it's a package or some church group going door to door. Once they hear my dog bark and I say "not interested" they are gone. I can't imagine not answering my door the entire time my H is deployed or TDY. I try to make things look as normal as possible when he's gone so no one notices.

    Ditto the bolded. I've never been through a deployment with DH, but he's been TDY for weeks at a time and I try avoid making it obvious that he's not there - grass mowed, mail picked up, trash cans out for trash day and back in in the afternoon, etc. That includes answering the door.

    I can't imagine not answering the door just because H isn't home. I lived on my own for several years before marrying DH and I managed just fine. I feel like it's a waste of my energy to be afraid of the world all the time. I'm not saying don't be cautious and use your judgment, but the world is not as scary as some people make it out to be. 

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  • If the person looks shady, no.  We have a glass security door, so I can open the front door without allowing access into the house.  But I usually bring my dogs to the door with me - they're 150 lbs English Mastiffs.  Normally whoever is there moves back from the door. :)
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  • I don't answer the door much but mostly because it's usually a sales person that I just don't feel like dealing with.  Doesn't really have anything to do with safety for me, just lack of patience in dealing with sales people without getting mean.
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  • I dont either. And because Im a nazi about silence when my daughter is sleeping my fedex/ups/mailman know to just leave stuff on the porch. 
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  • I have really loud dogs so I will usually answer with one of them or call my neighbor if the person rings twice so she can look out or come out to her porch.  She does the same to me but we live on base so we are rather close.

    I will say once I answered the door when we lived off base and I just so happened to be making dinner so I answered the door with a large knife, I think I scared the UPS guy but I told him I need security whe H is not home.  He laughed.

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  • We are in Alabama so if I'm not expecting someone and its during the night I carry my handgun to the door. Its only $20 to get a carrying license here. I usually look out the window first if I don't recognize them then I do it  so I don't scare away my neighbors.... but you can never be too safe!
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  • I was the victim of an attempted kidnapping in college, so as you might expect, I'm super paranoid. We're actually getting an alarm system installed in our new house today. My last place had a peep hole, so I would only answer if I knew who it was, but my new home doesn't have one yet. I live in a super safe and quiet country town so I'm trying to be more confident in my own home, but I still have trouble if my husband isn't home. Same with letting workmen in the house while he's not here. I always ask for ID/credentials and try to remain alert until they leave and I can lock the door behind them.
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  • I usually do not answer unless I am expecting someone. If it is a neighbor they know to say "hey this is ___ from next door"...

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  • Yes, I answer the door when I'm home alone! I did it when I lived alone prior to H, and when I had roommates, so I don't see why being married would change that. I'm a grown-up too, I can answer the door and do all sorts of things without my H. I'm careful in that I check who's out there before I open it, and if it's someone I'm not expecting I generally am more cautious and ask what they want before opening the glass door all the way, but I answer the door.

    Like someone mentioned, I think it's far more dangerous to come across as not confident or to act as if you ARE alone and scared than not.

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  • Nope, never lol. I've been known to just freeze if it does...text everyone who it could be, and then wait for the person to go away. I've answered before and screamed at the stupid salesman that if he's not wearing class A's he better NOT knock on my door. I thought I was the only person lol.
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  • DH went into the field yesterday and when the doorbell rang this morning, I rethought answering the door and ignored it. Just thought I'd share that I thought of this post today!
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  • Never!  No matter how safe my neighborhood is. 

    Oh and I'm not wuss. I lived alone for 10 yrs working before I commissioned into the military and married my DH. 

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  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    I don't see the point in not answering the door.  If it's a salesman, I tell him no thanks and ask that we be removed from their route.  Then I don't have to see them at my door again.  I'd rather get accept my packages than have them set back to the receiving center or left on my step.  If the person looks shady, I don't open the glass door and tell them I'm not interested in what ever they have.  I've got pretty big b*lls, though. 

    Through all my years of law enforcement, I've seen that people who seem less timid are less often targets.  Criminals are more likely to go for people they see as weak.  If they know you are home and won't come to the door, they know you are less likely to put up a fight.  Just look out the window and check to see who is there first.  If they look shady, don't open the door. 

     

    i agree I always answer the door.. andi normally will say something like "babe can you switch the loads" that way they think someone is home.. and i'll just tell them No thank you and close the door. I mean If i seem scared then they will know something is up... but im also from Chicago.. lol.. sooooo I've been around my fare share of "sketchy" people being on public transportaion at all hours lol..

  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    I don't see the point in not answering the door.  If it's a salesman, I tell him no thanks and ask that we be removed from their route.  Then I don't have to see them at my door again.  I'd rather get accept my packages than have them set back to the receiving center or left on my step.  If the person looks shady, I don't open the glass door and tell them I'm not interested in what ever they have.  I've got pretty big b*lls, though. 

    Through all my years of law enforcement, I've seen that people who seem less timid are less often targets.  Criminals are more likely to go for people they see as weak.  If they know you are home and won't come to the door, they know you are less likely to put up a fight.  Just look out the window and check to see who is there first.  If they look shady, don't open the door. 

     

    i agree I always answer the door.. andi normally will say something like "babe can you switch the loads" that way they think someone is home.. and i'll just tell them No thank you and close the door. I mean If i seem scared then they will know something is up... but im also from Chicago.. lol.. sooooo I've been around my fare share of "sketchy" people being on public transportaion at all hours lol..

  • I have never thought of not answering the door. Sorry that just seems odd to me. I mean I check the peephole if I'm not expecting anyone, but I always answer unless I look like a hot mess in pjs or if it's late at night. I have lived alone for 5 years before marrying my DH so I guess I got used to answering it???
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  • haha, i am just like you. i am sooo paranoid. Everynight i check the door a few times to make sure it's locked. I check the closet, look around the room. Which is sad..because i stay at home all day with my son.. lol. But we don't have a peephole, so i usually open the door. I live in an apartment building, so i kind of figure if something were to happen i could scream loud enough. Also, i always make sure i leave the door only a little open if i don't know who it is (salesmen)..or if it's someone "coming to inspect the house" i leave the door wide open and stand in front of it so that if he were to try to attack i could run out the door. 

    Don't let the people who are talking to you like you're deluded or something. It's not a bad thing to be cautious. lol 

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  • We don't even answer when we are all home! If we are not expecting you, don't expect us hahaha :D
  • imagehilwithonelary:

    Yes, this is a serious question. 

    I have lived alone, and I hated it.  I didn't answer the door then, either.  I know I have serious anxiety issues regarding intruders.  It's irrational, but there have been some nights when I get thoughts in my head that someone might be hiding in my house.  My mind will literally not rest until I check every single room and closet in my house, phone in hand ready to dial 911.  And before anyone suggests it, I already have an alarm system.  It helps a lot, but sometimes I still get anxious thoughts that I can't get rid of. 

    And really, what is the point of answering?  Like I said, it's either a package or a salesman.  I can't see which it is unless I run to the other side of the house (we have a weird layout).  By the time I do that, they're already walking away.

    ETA: If you don't like packages sitting on your porch, I understand that.  It just doesn't bother me.  Like answering the door might not bother you. 

    Yeah, but there are other options of things it could be.  Take it from a person whose apartment building got struck by lightning - neighbors and police will knock if there is an emergency that you are not aware of.  What if someone sees your house on fire?  Or your car being stolen?  I'm not trying to say you are horrible or anything ('cuz you're not).  I'm trying to show you other possibilities is all.

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  • imagehilwithonelary:

    Yes, this is a serious question. 

    I have lived alone, and I hated it.  I didn't answer the door then, either.  I know I have serious anxiety issues regarding intruders.  It's irrational, but there have been some nights when I get thoughts in my head that someone might be hiding in my house.  My mind will literally not rest until I check every single room and closet in my house, phone in hand ready to dial 911.  And before anyone suggests it, I already have an alarm system.  It helps a lot, but sometimes I still get anxious thoughts that I can't get rid of. 

    And really, what is the point of answering?  Like I said, it's either a package or a salesman.  I can't see which it is unless I run to the other side of the house (we have a weird layout).  By the time I do that, they're already walking away.

    ETA: If you don't like packages sitting on your porch, I understand that.  It just doesn't bother me.  Like answering the door might not bother you. 

    Yeah, but there are other options of things it could be.  Take it from a person whose apartment building got struck by lightning - neighbors and police will knock if there is an emergency that you are not aware of.  What if someone sees your house on fire?  Or your car being stolen?  I'm not trying to say you are horrible or anything ('cuz you're not).  I'm trying to show you other possibilities is all.

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