SIL has decided she's IF and is conning my brother into TTC, too

jenk84 · October 2011

SIL has diagnosed herself with IF and tells my brother they must TTC right now or they will never have children. He isn't ready and wants to wait a few years.

Now the whole family is doting on her and feeling sorry. Um... TTC for one month (her only - he doesn't know that the pills went out the window) and no kid = IF???

I'm so mad. This is my cycle 12, but I don't tell my plans to the family. And now if I do or if I go to the RE or get KU, she'll certainly say I was trying to rain on her parade.

*throws TCOYF at SIL's head*

ok - tantrum over. But really, SIL.... really?

sweetgotham · October 2011

Oh...this ends poorly. I'll say it for you: fvck that b!tch.

gplove94 · October 2011

jenk84:
SIL has diagnosed herself with IF and tells my brother they must TTC right now or they will never have children. He isn't ready and wants to wait a few years.
Now the whole family is doting on her and feeling sorry. Um... TTC for one month (her only - he doesn't know that the pills went out the window) and no kid = IF???
I'm so mad. This is my cycle 12, but I don't tell my plans to the family. And now if I do or if I go to the RE or get KU, she'll certainly say I was trying to rain on her parade.
*throws TCOYF at SIL's head*
ok - tantrum over. But really, SIL.... really?

That sounds obnoxious. She didn't tell him that she stopped taking her pills? I know someone that did that and got KU and then said oh no maybe it was the antibiotics I was taking that stopped the pill from working. UGH. All the psychos get KU so quickly.

SpartyMom2B · October 2011

sweetgotham:
Oh...this ends poorly. I'll say it for you: fvck that b!tch.

This.

FWIW, I dont have a brother, but if I found out my BIL wasn't being honest about contraceptives (putting holes in condoms or some other ridiculous thing), I'd have a hard time not telling my sister. I wouldn't want to interfere in their marriage, but it's not fair to trick someone into a pregnancy they're not ready for.

AshleyR711 · October 2011

lurkylulu2 · October 2011

Have you talked to your brother regarding her ridiculousness? I would throw a copy of TCOYF at his head too. Maybe he can wise up to what's going on.

jenk84 · October 2011

I never hope for the big D, but I certainly do with them. She practically lives in the ER... gets "cancer" every time she has a headache or sore throat and is "miraculously cured" when the results come back neg... My brother is up to his neck in hospital debt with this hypochondriacal (is that a word?) b!tch.... sheesh. Now she has IF... and he doesn't even think to question her.

I guess I can look at it this way: IF she does get KU first, I get the hand-me-downs.

dragontears507 · October 2011

That sucks. Sorry about your crummy SIL. People can be so stupid, selfish, and sh*tty.

jenk84 · October 2011

@ your comments about talking to my brother...

I had been planning to stay out of it, but the more I think about it, the more I think he needs to know what's really going on. He's my brother and we're pretty tight... I don't want to get him hurt, but I think that's what she's working on anyway.

I probably am going to sit him down and have a heart-to-heart.

KNemo · October 2011

I am at a loss for words. Every time I read someone's crazy IL stories, it always confirms that the people on Maury, Jerry Springer, and Steve Wilco are real people. Why would you put your marriage in jeopardy by sabotaging your BC? Why would you force someone who isn't ready to have a child to be a dad? Why would you bring potential heartache and pain upon so many people. This just baffles me!

dani2480 · October 2011

I generally try to stay out of my family's personal business. But this sounds like a case where this woman may be doing some serious harm to your brother, and if I were you, I'd definitely talk to him. Don't be judgmental, but just explain the facts to him. Tell him what IF really is, and why she cannot diagnose herself as IF (or even be considered IF at this point). Explain to him how TTC works (e.g. stuff like how there's a 20% chance each month, if sex is perfectly timed). And tell him about what you know regarding your SIL trying to trick him into getting her KU by stopping the Pill without his knowledge. I'd also tell him to not allow himself to be bullied, pushed, or conned into making a decision he is not ready (or wanting) to make, because it will only make him resentful and create conflict later on down the road. And introducing a child into that kind of environment would be heartbreaking and unfair for his future children.

mchupie · October 2011

Wait, what? She made up that she is IF and he believes her? Did she announce this right after going to the doctor or something? Did she make up that she had testing done? I don't get it.

NJMom050911 · October 2011

Wait so he thinks she is on BCP but is not able to get pregnant? Isn't that the whole point of BCP. Or is she telling him that the doctor told her she should TTC now because she might have issues later or what exactly is she basing her IF on? I just can't see anyone, your brother or the entire family, not asking questions.

ral1985 · October 2011

mchupie:
Wait, what? She made up that she is IF and he believes her? Did she announce this right after going to the doctor or something? Did she make up that she had testing done? I don't get it.

This. And also-- how did you find out that she stopped taking her BC? Did she tell you? If she's stupid enough to tell you (her husband's SISTER, when you clearly have stronger ties to your own brother than her) that then she definitely needs to be outed. Have that talk with your brother! Oh, and GL. I know how stressful family drama is.

KristieM1985 · October 2011

sweetgotham:
Oh...this ends poorly. I'll say it for you: fvck that b!tch.

Lol!

mellobee · October 2011

Way too many red flags. I'd definitely tell my brother everything I knew and maybe even try to slap some sense into your crazy SIL. If you're brother isn't prepared to be a dad yet, they definitely need to get on the same page. Yikes.

My brothers girlfriend did something similar in telling him that she couldn't have children (self-diagnosed), only to find out a month later she was pregnant. My nephew will be here in January!

Nique1214 · October 2011

This is just disgusting. I hope that should you choose to tell your brother he doesn't get all on the defensive and it puts a strain on your relationship. Men get that way from time to time when their noses are wide open over their wife or girlfriend. It sounds like he really cares about her and that he would do and believe anything to make her happy. I have a wacky SIL as well so I definitely feel for you.

Good Luck!

LoveKidsArmy · October 2011

A girl I knew pulled this one (threw away her BC but didn't tell her H) so I can tell you how it ends: he is supportive when she gets KU but they have ongoing fights about it because he wasn't ready; then she has the baby, he falls in love with it and is a great dad BUT their relationship still doesn't recover (hello, trust issues!). Now they go to counseling twice a week.

Yeah, so tell your brother what you know. It could save years of anguish.

Oh...and here is the kicker to my example: she has decided she wants another baby but doesn't want multi-baby daddies so she is trying again to get pregnant without his knowledge in case they get divorced.

NJMom050911 · October 2011

LoveKidsArmy:

A girl I knew pulled this one (threw away her BC but didn't tell her H) so I can tell you how it ends: he is supportive when she gets KU but they have ongoing fights about it because he wasn't ready; then she has the baby, he falls in love with it and is a great dad BUT their relationship still doesn't recover (hello, trust issues!). Now they go to counseling twice a week.

Yeah, so tell your brother what you know. It could save years of anguish.

Oh...and here is the kicker to my example: she has decided she wants another baby but doesn't want multi-baby daddies so she is trying again to get pregnant without his knowledge in case they get divorced.

WOW!

amanda31H · October 2011

I'm confused....if she didn't tell him that she stopped taking her BC, how would he believe that she's IF?

abfromva · October 2011

SpartyMom2B:
sweetgotham:
Oh...this ends poorly. I'll say it for you: fvck that b!tch.
This.

FWIW, I dont have a brother, but if I found out my BIL wasn't being honest about contraceptives (putting holes in condoms or some other ridiculous thing), I'd have a hard time not telling my sister. I wouldn't want to interfere in their marriage, but it's not fair to trick someone into a pregnancy they're not ready for.

Yes This. I would do the same now. I'm not even that bothered by the wannabe IFer, even though it is ridiculous, because this part is so much worse. I wouldn't normally get so involved in family stuff but if it were me I would tell him. Kinda makes you wonder what else she is deceptive about..

heather_09_15_07 · October 2011

Your brother is not very smart, is he?

Yeah, you need to tell him what she is up to.

melissa721 · October 2011

She told him she is IF even though he thinks she is still taking BCP? Did I get that right? I haz a confuzed.

jenk84 · October 2011

amanda31H:
I'm confused....if she didn't tell him that she stopped taking her BC, how would he believe that she's IF?

She told me she stopped taking it because it makes her sick. She told him that she's taking it and after her yearly gyno appt she went home and announced to him that she is IF. (EDITED TO ADD - she told him that's what the doctor said)

I asked her what the doctor said. She told me that she tossed the BC and didn't get pregnant in month one so she is infertile and that the doctor isn't worried, but she knows in her heart that she's IF.

CRAY-ZAY.

My brother has his master's and is working on a PHD, which is why it baffles me, too, that he doesn't ask questions. Of course, men don't know much about fertility unless they look into it.

I gave HIM my copy of TCOYF and asked him to read it first. Hopefully he'll see through her and maybe he'll see how incredibly stupid she is about all this.

I'm definitely going to have that talk with him... even if it strains my relationship with him, I'm his sister; He can't hate me forever. He does need to know what she's doing.

Thanks for letting me rant about my crazy family. I'm just glad DH and I are on the same page. I can't imagine doing this behind his back!

jenk84 · October 2011

GhostMonkey:
jenk84:

amanda31H:
I'm confused....if she didn't tell him that she stopped taking her BC, how would he believe that she's IF?

She told me she stopped taking it because it makes her sick. She told him that she's taking it and after her yearly gyno appt she went home and announced to him that she is IF. (EDITED TO ADD - she told him that's what the doctor said)
I asked her what the doctor said. She told me that she tossed the BC and didn't get pregnant in month one so she is infertile and that the doctor isn't worried, but she knows in her heart that she's IF.
CRAY-ZAY.
My brother has his master's and is working on a PHD, which is why it baffles me, too, that he doesn't ask questions. Of course, men don't know much about fertility unless they look into it.
I gave HIM my copy of TCOYF and asked him to read it first. Hopefully he'll see through her and maybe he'll see how incredibly stupid she is about all this.
I'm definitely going to have that talk with him... even if it strains my relationship with him, I'm his sister; He can't hate me forever. He does need to know what she's doing.

Thanks for letting me rant about my crazy family. I'm just glad DH and I are on the same page. I can't imagine doing this behind his back!
WTF does that have to do with the price of rice in China? Someone getting a doctoral degree is not a medical doctor and therefore all knowing on all aspects of the human body. Unless he's in medical school going to be an OB (even then this isn't totally true because OBs don't know shiit about fertility), there is no reason for him to have any clue.

Read the rest of that paragraph. I was simply stating that I'm surprised he doesn't ask questions.

byrne15 · October 2011

I am still amazed that people WANT IF. wth?

jenk84 · October 2011

byrne15:
I am still amazed that people WANT IF. wth?

Exactly. Well like I said, she screams cancer several times a year, too. She wants attention and she wants everyone to feel sorry for her all the time. It's quite annoying and disrespectful to those actually going through it for her to take the issues and throw them around so lightly.

Attention is why people want IF. Its immature, selfish, and stupid.

Excitedtostart · October 2011

Your SIL needs therapy.

She's either a BSC AW and therefore should see someone, or she's really a hypochondriac and she needs help.

Pregnancy will make her 'illnesses' worse, better to spend a lot of money on therapy than on bogus medical bills.

Does she have OCD tendencies? I would honestly talk with your brother about this, as well as her lying about BCP and the Dr visit. Have him go with her for the next appointment and ask the OB.

GL.

sweetgotham · October 2011

Excitedtostart:

Your SIL needs therapy.

She's either a BSC AW and therefore should see someone, or she's really a hypochondriac and she needs help.

Pregnancy will make her 'illnesses' worse, better to spend a lot of money on therapy than on bogus medical bills.

Does she have OCD tendencies? I would honestly talk with your brother about this, as well as her lying about BCP and the Dr visit. Have him go with her for the next appointment and ask the OB.

GL.

Sounds more like this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome; pray she doesn't have kids and add 'by proxy' to it.

Seriously, you brother needs a 'come to Jesus' moment at GTFO.

iheartcake+ · October 2011

NJMom050911:
LoveKidsArmy:

A girl I knew pulled this one (threw away her BC but didn't tell her H) so I can tell you how it ends: he is supportive when she gets KU but they have ongoing fights about it because he wasn't ready; then she has the baby, he falls in love with it and is a great dad BUT their relationship still doesn't recover (hello, trust issues!). Now they go to counseling twice a week.

Yeah, so tell your brother what you know. It could save years of anguish.

Oh...and here is the kicker to my example: she has decided she wants another baby but doesn't want multi-baby daddies so she is trying again to get pregnant without his knowledge in case they get divorced.

WOW!

She sounds like a classy lady

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