Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
theworms
member
Re: BFN
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
I am so sorry, friend. :-(
F U C K IF!!!!!
Don't be sorry sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm sure we're all sorry....and pissed off.
I just don't know what to say, nobody deserves this much struggle.
((HUGS)) and all my love. Hug D for me too.
me 33/DH 36
ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014
Huge hugs Wormsie and Mr Wormsie.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!
3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
PAIF/SAIF always welcome
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I already told you this, my dear, but I'm so, so sorry.
My heart is breaking for you.
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer
Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
**P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**
So sorry Worms!!!!
I am so, so sorry Worms. IF is so unfair!
Sending you HUGE ((HUGS))!
fark
I'm so sorry, ML. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))
TTC#1 since 2004
LGBT
4 cycles @ home with known donor - BFN
RE un-medicated IUI cycles # 1-7= BFN
NEW RE Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/ IUI #8 BFN
Took long break
Nov 2009 - Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/IUI #9 = BFP
Beta 12/4 - 10...Beta #2 12/7- 28 Beta #3 12/9 - 80!
1st sonogram 12/28 - slow hb and growth
m/c 1/1/2010 Courtland 8w0d
Nov 2010 cycle cancelled - polyp removal/hysteroscopy
April 4 2011 - IUI #10 BFFN
July 5, 2011 - #11 BFFN AMH .62 Boo
TTC since July 2008
IUI 1,2,3 BFN
IVF #1 C/P, FET 1,2,3 BFN
IVF#2 BFP
it's a girl!!
beta#1 3/21 (14dp3dt)=413, beta#2 3/23 (16dp3dt)=785, u/s 4/11
EDD 11/25/12
**SAIFW**
I am so sorry. IF is soooo unfair.
(((hugs))))
Wedding Fall 2007 Off OCP's since 9/08-started with BBT charts Saw Ob/gyn May 2009 Blood work normal except single copy of MTHFR Clomid 50mg May 2009 Clomid 50mg + IUI June 2009 Femara 5mg + IUI July 2009 Normal HSG July 2009 Femara 5mg + ovidrel+IUI August 2009 Femara 5mg +ovidrel + IUI September 2009 November 2009-normal lap December 2009-met with RE December/January-Injectible med cycle with IUI-Abnormal sperm morpology found-only 0-1% normal All Head defects. Jan/Feb 2010 1st IVF with ICSI-5 week chemical pregnancy
Feb 2010-male infertility doc says DH's anatomy and blood work are normal so nothing he can do. 
FET July 2010-BFP! Twin m/c @ 5.5 wks 
Dec/Jan 2011 IVF #2 Only 4 eggs retrieved-Ganirelix dose messed up BFFN
Feb/March 2011 IVF #3 ER 3/9 9 eggs, 7 fertilized, ET 3/14, No frosties. BFN
IVF #4 ER 8/22 9R,7F ET 8/25-3 embies, 1 frostie! Beta 9/2= 54, 9/6=274, 9/8=625, 9/12=2953, 9/16 greater than 10,000. B/G TWINS born April 2012 @ 36wks & 1 day!
July 2014-going back for the frozen embryo! ET 7/28, heartbeat seen at 6wks1day with SCH. Miscarriage confirmed at 6wks4days
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Love you, worms.
Sending you hugs and D Blue Moons.
Oh, Wormsie, my heart just sank. I am so incredibly sorry. I can't think of anyone more deserving of happiness than you. You are an amazing person!
Huge huge hugs!!!
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!