how do you keep your cool and not worry.
argh. I know its not even that bad, but dh and I talk without fail, every 3 days on skype. When I almost messed up the date and missed it on tuesday, he was on FB looking for me (the phones are in another building, so if Im not sitting on skype he'll message me on FB and I get it on my phone). We were supposed to talk last night and I waited all night and he never showed up. Then I figured maybe he got our days mixed up, so I waited again tonight. Nothing.
I know it's not that long and I'm sure he's fine, but how do you get that stupid voice to shut up! I can think of a million reasons why he's not online that makes complete logical sense but there is still that one thought. I cant stand it!
and for what its worth...I have so much respect for the wives back in the day. My dad was in vietnam and went months without hearing from her husband, I have no idea how I would survive!! We are so blessed by this technology...and spoiled!!
Re: when you dont hear from them on deployment....
It is so normal to worry. I'm sorry you are a little freaked .
My husband is on a carrier so we don't have Skype or IM so I can't relate in that regard, but I know I have gotten worried in the past when we have gone more than 3 or 4 days without an email.
Remember that chances are he is just busy or the technology is down. That if something were to have happened you would be notified ASAP. There is a logical reason for this kind of thing 99.9% of the time and it has nothing to do with your husband being hurt.
You can take or leave the following advice. My husband is an aviator and I have some peers that want emails before and after flights. Emails saying they are "safe on deck" and all that jazz. I'm the opposite. If we had a set up where I was waiting for an email every time he was flying I wouldn't sleep because I would be up waiting for that email. Instead, I have zero clue when he is flying and I have zero clue when he lands or takes off. If I don't get an email, I assume he is busy, tired, or the email is down. He emails when he can (same as me).
Sometimes it is better to not have these "set times" for calling/chatting/emailing because you end up worrying when they don't show. The military (and the technology we use to communicate) is so hit or miss. It isn't reliable. And if you are hinging your sanity on these ever 3 day conversations you might drive yourself insane.
I hope you hear from him soon!
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I agree with a couple of the PPs I'm glad we don't have set times to talk. Plus, my DH has never had the opportunity to skype or IM during deployments, emails are scarce at best, so we rely on the old-fashioned snail mail approach, and the occasional phone call.
Of course it gets worrisome no matter what when you don't hear from them. But, you have to just keep faith that he's alright and there's a good legitimate reason that he can't get in contact with you. In the meantime, try to keep busy busy busy!
My guess is that this is an especially sensitive subject for you given your recent post about your older son. You are much more aware of all that is going on because you are mindful of him. When my DH was deployed, my LO was an infant. I was able get in my groove and not have to explain (repeatedly) why Daddy isn't home and when you'll get to see him. That makes all of this that much more challenging.
There is a Sesame Street episode for military kids. Have you and your son seen it? I'm not sure how to find a copy, but that might be something worth looking into.
I hope you hear from your DH soon.
When I dont hear from him in afew days and I start to panic, I (and dont laugh, its my way of handling anxiety) grab my yarn & crochet. I find that the repetitive motions soothe the panic & it usually relaxes me enough to be able to atleast attempt to sleep (given that my belly is getting bigger its harder to get comfy to sleep) Also, I avoid the internet as much as I can if I feel tense about not hearing from him (Ive got the yahoo & fb chat apps on my phone so if hubby were to get on, it goes straight to my phone) and put on a movie that makes me laugh...