Breastfeeding: to cover, or not to cover?

PhoebeJones3 · September 2011

I wanted to ask breastfeeding moms if they cover or not while they nurse in public.

I can understand for privacy if your baby pops on and off and would expose your breast/nipple to everyone - OR - if you have large breasts and its difficult to breastfeed without exposing them.

BUT if you can breastfeed without exposing anything should you have to cover up? Example: My sister wears a nursing tank under every shirt, so she can lift up her shirt and down the corner of her tank and she doesn't show anything. When she breastfeeds it just looks like she is holding a sleeping baby.

Sometimes I feel that covering up with one of those HUGE nursing covers draws more attention to a breastfeeding mother than not covering up.

What are your thoughts?

tmmckenney · September 2011

I'm a very modest person and would never expose myself no matter the situation. With that being said, I would use the cover ups. Even if I was able to nurse without exposing anything, I still would.

JhawkCE · September 2011

I'm more comfortable covering because he doesn't get distracted as easy and when he does pop up unexpectedly, I'm not scrambling to cover my nipples.

I don't care if others cover or not, although I would rather not be exposed to your boobs, just like I don't want to see your a$$ hanging out of a mini skirt.

courtney_lynne · September 2011

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. I am not a huge fan of full breast nudity when nursing in public, but I don't judge people for, I just won't do it myself. Now, I will do like you are describing and do the nursing tank, and shirt, but that works much better when they are bigger (IMO) since they aren't popping on and off so much. There are a few places I feel you (general you) should cover up - just out of respect - Church/Synagogue, and Funeral homes- at least in the auditorium/worship area (essentially if I wouldn't eat or chew gum there, then I would cover up there) to me it is just respectful to do.

PhoebeJones3 · September 2011

I understand not wanting to see anything from anyone (boobs or crack).

But if nothing is shown at any moment, is it inappropriate NOT to cover up?

mrsjenniferg2010 · September 2011

I work for a drop off day care for a gym and I see moms bfing all the time. Most of them wear the nursing tanks and you really can't tell what they are doing. I am not sure if its different for women that are really large breasted. I don't think you would need a cover if no one can see. I am giving bfing another try. If it workers out I plan on getting some nursing bras an tops. One less thing to have to bring when we go places.

MrsClark8109 · September 2011

I have no issue with nursing in public and I know that boobs are meant for nursing not sex...so before you flam I know both of these things and I'm well aware of them.

That being said, even when I'm with a friend/family member--I feel more comfortable if they would have a cover (or even a swaddle blanket) draped...I just dont want to watch.

At home, I will probably not use a cover, unless there are visitors, but in public you can bet I'll use a cover if I'm going to nurse. I get that its natural, and I'm not a real modest person and I get that BF is my right and babies right to feed, but it irks me to no end when because its natural people feel entitled to make other people uncomfortable.

shellybell15 · September 2011

I don't think this question has one right answer. It is how comfortable a person feels nursing in public. If you don't mind popping out your boob to let your child nurse, than go for it. Others may feel more comfortable covered or even in a seperate room. As far as should you HAVE to cover up.....IMO, no.

manbearpig31610 · September 2011

I always cover but that has more to do with my own comfort than anything else. I have several friends who choose not to cover. They are still discreet (wear nursing tanks under shirt, don't expose anything, etc) and I have absolutely no problem with them or anyone else bfing and not covering. I just don't feel comfortable doing it myself.

courtney_lynne · September 2011

PhoebeJones3:
I understand not wanting to see anything from anyone (boobs or crack).
But if nothing is shown at any moment, is it inappropriate NOT to cover up?

But then you are covered, right? I mean just because you aren't using a blanket/cover doesn't mean you aren't covered. when I say I feel it is more respectful to be covered in certain places, I guess I mean not full on "there's a boob" nursing - you want to do that elsewhere (anywhere an adult human being would eat/drink/be casually) fine, not my thing, but it is your right to feed your baby, but when it comes to Church/Synagogue/Funeral homes - it just comes across as disrespectful, to me.

PhoebeJones3 · September 2011

courtney_lynne:
PhoebeJones3:
I understand not wanting to see anything from anyone (boobs or crack).
But if nothing is shown at any moment, is it inappropriate NOT to cover up?

But then you are covered, right? I mean just because you aren't using a blanket/cover doesn't mean you aren't covered. when I say I feel it is more respectful to be covered in certain places, I guess I mean not full on "there's a boob" nursing - you want to do that elsewhere (anywhere an adult human being would eat/drink/be casually) fine, not my thing, but it is your right to feed your baby, but when it comes to Church/Synagogue/Funeral homes - it just comes across as disrespectful, to me.

I should have specified cover up meaning to put on a nursing cover.

When I think of women nursing in public, I assume that they do their best NOT to full on expose breast, and its covered by clothes. - So then wondering if ON TOP of that if you would have to cover baby nursing, and yourself with a nursing cover. - Does that make any more sense?

It definitely isn't a one right answer question - more like a 'what do you think about this, a) for yourself and - b) if you saw a discreet nursing mother who wasn't wearing a nursing cover.

Sometimes I think of a better way of saying it AFTER I've already said it. I'm no linguist.

Leap08 · September 2011

When my daughter was a newborn I always covered her while nursing in public or in front of people who would otherwise be uncomfortable. As she got older (3-4 months), she hated to have anything over her head and would either cry or pull it off. I don't think that's uncommon. You have to get kind of creative about how to not totally expose yourself when they get to that stage. Nursing tanks and a burp cloth or receiving blanket work well.

prism207 · September 2011

The cover draws more attention, in my opinion. Makes it so obvious that you are nursing. I nursed Sam without one, initially because he wouldn't tolerate being under one, and then because I realized it wasn't necessary.

No one ever saw anything as far as I know, at least not something they wouldn't see at the beach or in a low cut shirt. And no one ever said anything or made any type of fuss about my nursing him. I think most the time, unless you watched me latching him on, you just didn't know if I was nursing him or just cuddling.

ETA: Oh, and I did nurse him just this way at the funeral home visitation and the church funeral for my Grandmother when he was 8 months old. Really, it seems more disrespectful/disruptive to let him cry, and I wasn't about to miss being there, especially having traveled so far with my infant to do so. No one paid the slightest bit of attention to his nursing, the focus was appropriately on my Grandmother.

tosh24 · September 2011

I could care less if I saw someone's breasts while BF. That's what they're for. To me, it's like seeing an arm - it's a part of the female body that has a purpose (and surprise, surprise, it's not sexual).

If I'm in a publicly designated BF area (like a nursing room), I don't cover up. I'd rather look at my baby and bond while BF, than looking down at a white blanket with ducks on it. And the decreased air flow can't be comfy for the baby either, so I don't use a blanket if I don't have to.

If I'm out and about in public like at a restaurant or walking around the mall, I'll use a cover. Not for my sake, but just to be respectful to other people around who may, for whatever reason, be offended or made squeamish by BF (although I'll never understand it).

And for those people who say "but I don't want my kids seeing someone's boob", I just don't understand why. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. When we're out and DD sees someone BF and catches a glimpse of boob, she gets all excited saying "Mommy! That lady is feeding her baby!". Normal, natural, and necessary. I'm glad DD will grow up realizing that breasts evolved to feed our babies. not for the pleasure of men.

CircleInTheSea · September 2011

I don't cover. Neither of my first two tolerated anything over them when they ate. I do try to maintain a bit of discretion (although I don't like to use that term?), but I also try to convey the sense that what we're doing is totally not a big deal and is normal if that makes any sense, lol.

kris_kelsey · September 2011

I nursed DS for 23 months and never used a cover. My clothes did the trick. If I was wearing a shirt I had to pull up and show my belly, then I nursed in a mostly private area (nursing room or some other secluded area). I always kept a burp cloth handy in case he popped off and milk was spraying everywhere...catch milk and cover up. Once on a plane I used a blanket to create a little curtain of privacy. DS would have hated being under-wraps, so I never did it. That was my comfort level but I understand everyone is different.

Liz4444 · September 2011

I'm always the one people love to hate, but I think people should go to a private place to bf. I intend on going to a bathroom or my car to do it or just bring a bottle with breast milk.

mrs. remy · September 2011

I never really nursed in public.....I would go into a private area or quiet place away from others. This is totally because of my feelings about myself (I just tend to be private), not indicative of how I feel about nursing in public. I seriously couldn't care less if people nurse in front of me or how much skin they are showing.

prism207 · September 2011

Here's the thing about making other people uncomfortable-

If I was doing *X* in an attempt to make others uncomfortable, that makes me an ass. Doing "X" because it works for me and is normal, legal, and so on, makes me just someone doing what works for me and is normal, blah blah blah.

It isn't my job to make others comfortable. There are plenty of things other things that make some uncomfortable, and I don't see a whole lot of support for forcing (through public disapproval or other means) those things to be done in private/under cover. Any of you going to advocate that gay couples not hold hands/kiss/whatever show of normal affection that a hetero couple makes in public? Plenty of people still "uncomfortable" with that. (I'm not, btw, so please don't take it that way. I DO know people who are.)

PhoebeJones3 · September 2011

Liz4444:
I'm always the one people love to hate, but I think people should go to a private place to bf. I intend on going to a bathroom or my car to do it or just bring a bottle with breast milk.

I'm definitely not hating, just to be clear.

Personally, I would never feed my baby in a public bathroom unless it had a lounge area specifically for nursing that looked remarkably clean.

I would never eat my meals in a bathroom.

I don't want to be flashed, but I'm not offended if I accidently catch a peek.

Ms5586 · September 2011

To each her own, I support nursing in public. For me, personally, I'll probably cover up, but I'm not buying an actual cover. I'm just going to use a receiving blanket or something. I'm also a big fan of nursing tanks and such, they're really comfortable.

stardust317 · September 2011

Liz4444:
I'm always the one people love to hate, but I think people should go to a private place to bf. I intend on going to a bathroom or my car to do it or just bring a bottle with breast milk.

I agree!

llamakins · September 2011

Once you get there, you'll know what is right for you. Any mom nursing is supported by me--nursing cover or not! We used it sometimes and not others-it also depended on what I was wearing and how much I had to expose, or if I wanted to help my baby relax under the cover, etc.

Really--it should not matter--I don't care if a mom is sporting a bright orange nursing cover, it's great if they are nursing. There are a lot of great nursing clothing options for moms, now, too!

If someone is thinking about buying a cover now, I recommend the kind that has a piece of boning in the top so you can look down and see your baby. It really helped me when baby was learning how to latch on in the beginning. It's private so others can't see down to what your baby is doing.

MrsClark8109 · September 2011

prism207:

Any of you going to advocate that gay couples not hold hands/kiss/whatever show of normal affection that a hetero couple makes in public? Plenty of people still "uncomfortable" with that. (I'm not, btw, so please don't take it that way. I DO know people who are.)

I'm probably an all around prude but straight couples kissing in public make me uncomfortable too...a peck on the cheek fine, forehead fine, the way a 3 year old would give a kiss fine. But if its a romantic, kiss kiss --I dont want to see it. I guess I never think of myself as that modest of a person but I don't do PDA and I'm all about the BF covers...

mrs.tashnash · September 2011

I tried the cover once with DS when he was 10 days old. I found it such a PITA that I jsut stopped. It wasn't worth it and in the first weeks it's hard enought to figure breast feeding out that adding a piece of material so you can't see either is just not a good time.

I also have very small boobs so you could barely see anything anyway. I also never once had anyone give me a dirty look or say anything. I have zero issues with people seeing my boobs when I am clearly feeding my baby.

janbrady · September 2011

In the beginning I used it the entire time since I was so new at it. As she got older and started batting it away, I just used it for latching. Usually I was in a secluded place anyway (quiet bench or 'mother's lounge').

Enami · September 2011

RedheadBaker:
I'm a FTM, so I don't have any prior experience.
However, I plan to purchase nursing tanks, bras, and clothing. I also registered for a nursing cover, that, like a PP, once I get used to positioning the baby, I will probably stop using.
My state gives me a legal right to breastfeed anywhere I'm legally allowed to be. And if my son gets hungry, I fully intend to breastfeed wherever I happen to be. From what I understand with nursing clothing, a flap drops down, the baby latches on. Nothing is exposed.
If anyone is uncomfortable with seeing that, it's on them to look away.

I'm not buying a nursing cover. I bought nursing bras and a Moby wrap, and maybe I'll throw a receiving blanket over top or something. I'm all for NIP and not feeling ashamed of any aspect of it. Boobs shouldn't be viewed as a primarily sexual object, which they are when you see one and go "OMG, BOOOOOB!!!".

GoombaGirl_79 · September 2011

DS never gave me the option..if I tried to cover with a blanket or anything he'd freak out and rip it right off. So I just got some comfy shirts that sort of covered up but didn't cover DS so he didn't mind. Kind of like your example with your sister.. seemed to work just fine for me. I'm just shy, wasn't too worried what other people thought about if they "saw something" but I just felt like I wanted a little discretion for my own reasons. I knew some moms that just pulled their breast right out and didn't care who saw heh. Didn't bother me at all, personal choice!

epopp85 · September 2011

In the beginning with DS I just threw a blanket over my shoulder which draws less attention than a nursing cover since it tends to look more like they are sleeping. Once I got more comfortable, he got older and more experienced, and depending on the circumstance, I would usually turn away or cover up to latch and then not worry about it.

capulet · September 2011

PhoebeJones3:
Sometimes I feel that covering up with one of those HUGE nursing covers draws more attention to a breastfeeding mother than not covering up.

I totally feel this way. I have a nursing cover but I almost never used it with DD because I felt like it was a big flashing neon sign saying HEY LOOK AT ME I'M BREASTFEEDING!!! I could nurse her discreetly enough without the cover that I thought less people would notice if I just did that. I don't care if other moms cover or not - I'm always happy to see anyone NIP however they do it.

Janimal · September 2011

I am personally not really very shy. And I have great boobs!

BUT - to me it is respectful to be discreet when BFing. Some women are great at is, without a cover. Some notsomuch. I personally used a cover or went to a private area. If at the mall or Target, I would just pop into a dressing room. Private, not a potty, and a decent place to change a diaper too.

If you are showing boob in public with a militant attitude of "It's natural! A boob is not sexual!" Then you get a major side eye from me. Boobs ARE sexual. But most moms I know who NIP don't have that attitude. They just feed their kids and are discreet about it how it works for them. That's cool with me.

cfemiani · September 2011

I bought a nursing cover and plan on using it. However, I have also looked into the nursing tanks, and have considered doing what your SIL does as well. I guess it will just depend on where I am and who all is around me when/if I have to nurse the baby.

love_melongtime · September 2011

JhawkCE:

I'm more comfortable covering because he doesn't get distracted as easy and when he does pop up unexpectedly, I'm not scrambling to cover my nipples.

I don't care if others cover or not, although I would rather not be exposed to your boobs, just like I don't want to see your a$$ hanging out of a mini skirt.

Ditto this

tosh24 · September 2011

Janimal:

I am personally not really very shy. And I have great boobs!

BUT - to me it is respectful to be discreet when BFing. Some women are great at is, without a cover. Some notsomuch. I personally used a cover or went to a private area. If at the mall or Target, I would just pop into a dressing room. Private, not a potty, and a decent place to change a diaper too.

If you are showing boob in public with a militant attitude of "It's natural! A boob is not sexual!" Then you get a major side eye from me. Boobs ARE sexual. But most moms I know who NIP don't have that attitude. They just feed their kids and are discreet about it how it works for them. That's cool with me.

No, our society has made them sexual. Biologically, they evolved as a form of feeding offspring with milk, like all other mammals in the animal kingdom. That is their purpose. No other mammal uses their breasts/udders/whatever during sexual activity - it just doesn't factor in. Because Homo sapiens have evolved very complex social behaviour, we have changed the way we look at our bodies. Breasts long ago became sexual objects. I'm not saying that most people don't consider them sexual and men aren't attracted to them, I'm saying that breasts did not evolve biologically for that purpose. And in many parts of the world, this is recognized. Men, children, and women in these areas would never bat an eyelash to see a woman breastfeeding or catch a glimpse of boob while she was doing so - you know why? Because breasts were originally meant for breastfeeding, and they still hold that mentality. Too bad North Americans don't.

eli_and_jeff · September 2011

I'm pretty modest and I really don't relish the idea of being ogled in public, so I'm planning on covering up when breastfeeding in public. I think a receiving blanket or a nursing shawl seems like an easy way to give my LO what it needs when it needs it without making anyone (most importantly me) uncomfortable.

Kudos to mamas who can go all National Geographic, I'm just not one of them

Also, my lactation consultant said that a blanket can help keep babies focused on the task at hand, there are a lot of distractions in a busy public place.

owens0410 · September 2011

I will always cover up in public. That is just me.

nichellemybelle · September 2011

I will be covering myself when and if I breastfeed in public. There are WEIRDOS out there! Breastfeeding is natural and it's how babies eat but can you imagine what some creepy dude is thinking when he's passing by you....

Kitty Holland · September 2011

tosh24:
Janimal:

I am personally not really very shy. And I have great boobs!

BUT - to me it is respectful to be discreet when BFing. Some women are great at is, without a cover. Some notsomuch. I personally used a cover or went to a private area. If at the mall or Target, I would just pop into a dressing room. Private, not a potty, and a decent place to change a diaper too.

If you are showing boob in public with a militant attitude of "It's natural! A boob is not sexual!" Then you get a major side eye from me. Boobs ARE sexual. But most moms I know who NIP don't have that attitude. They just feed their kids and are discreet about it how it works for them. That's cool with me.

No, our society has made them sexual. Biologically, they evolved as a form of feeding offspring with milk, like all other mammals in the animal kingdom. That is their purpose. No other mammal uses their breasts/udders/whatever during sexual activity - it just doesn't factor in. Because Homo sapiens have evolved very complex social behaviour, we have changed the way we look at our bodies. Breasts long ago became sexual objects. I'm not saying that most people don't consider them sexual and men aren't attracted to them, I'm saying that breasts did not evolve biologically for that purpose. And in many parts of the world, this is recognized. Men, children, and women in these areas would never bat an eyelash to see a woman breastfeeding or catch a glimpse of boob while she was doing so - you know why? Because breasts were originally meant for breastfeeding, and they still hold that mentality. Too bad North Americans don't.

This.

It just seems to be an American sexualization of everything so much so that the most natural thing in the world is sexualized. And out of some desire to seem pure and moral, a woman must cover herself so that she doesn't accidentally turn men on or make others uncomfortable- that somehow out of respect a woman cannot do the most natural thing in the world in public because someone might see some skin?!....wow. I could draw the parallels to other extreme forms of "modest" dress worn by women so as not to tempt men and to show respect for others, but I'll leave that for another day.

I think it's disgusting to feed a baby in a public bathroom. Or in your car for that matter. Eating in public is completely normal. And has nothing to do with how private of a person you are. And I don't equate seeing a bit of boob while a woman is breastfeeding to seeing someone's ass in a short skirt - one is completely normal and appropriate, the other is not.

PrincessPeach13 · September 2011

I don't know if I will feel more comfortable covering or not covering in public yet. I do know that I do not have a problem with women bfing in public, even if they are larger chested or if baby pops on and off. There's nothing indecent about feeding a baby when it's hungry. As far as other people being uncomfortable seeing it in public: It's not like they are being locked in a 5x5 foot room with you and being forced to watch. If it really bothers them, they are free to not stare.

Stellar1 · September 2011

I usually always have a blanket that I use to cover myself and/or baby when I am nursing. I know it is our right to nurse in public but I really don't want other people to see my boobs. It's uncomfortable for me and other people. Even if I am home and have close friends family over I usually cover my boob.

Liz1485 · September 2011

Liz4444:

I'm always the one people love to hate, but I think people should go to a private place to bf. I intend on going to a bathroom or my car to do it or just bring a bottle with breast milk.

This. Isn't this why everyone says you should buy a pump if you plan to bf anywho? Anytime I go out with LO I will bring bottles with breast milk in them incase I don't want to feed him in a bathroom or go to my car or whatever.

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