to find out OR to keep it a surprise..? (re:gender)

mickey84 · September 2011

I was always thought I wanted to keep the baby's gender a secret until birth, but now I am having second thoughts. I think the element of a fun surprise is awesome but I am just so curious and would like to plan for the baby.

I just dont want to regret finding out.. ah, i'm so indecisive LOL

How did you make your decision?

Tamra4 · September 2011

I definitely want to know. I'm just impatient like that. Honestly, having the ultrasound tech know while I didn't know would drive me nuts!

wheelsonthebus · September 2011

I found out with DS and I always planned on NOT finding out for this pregnancy. However, now that I'm pregnant again, I really want to know. I'm going to try my hardest to hold out until birth, but DH really wants to know ahead of time.

CarolinaGirl051708 · September 2011

With DD, we found out at 18 weeks because I'm such a planner and knew that I wanted a feminine nursery if we were having a girl. So much of the anticipation of a baby (for me) revolved around the nesting part - buying and washing clothes, decorating her room, etc.

This go round, I'm pretty sure I want to be team green for two reasons. First, I know what to expect now. I know what l&d is like (27 hrs of active labor, two hours of pushing, c-section). I know what it's like to bring home a new baby, etc. I think that since there are fewer surprises with a second baby, I like the idea of being surprised about the sex. Second, this baby will move into our guest room (which is already painted a gender-neutral color - we painted it three years ago), and so we won't be repainting. I've also learned that the crib bedding is a waste of time/money. Until she turned a year, DD only used a sheet. The bumper and quilt were in the closet. We'll be reusing so much stuff (even if it's a boy - he'll learn to like pink) that I don't need to know as much for planning purposes.

So that was long, sorry ! That's my plan for now (unless DH makes me cave)

sabrina69barnes · September 2011

DH and I found out with all our other kids what we were having but we don't want to know this time unless there is a problem with the baby. This LO will be sharing a room with DS2. His room is gender neutral and I already have a crib set for this LO that is green. I have plenty of neutral clothes since I liked them better for DS when he was a newborn. We just want a healthy baby so gender dissapointment wont be an issue. After this LO we are done having kids so we decided to do things differently this time.

beachbaby117 · September 2011

I am keeping it a surprise again. I did this with my DD and for me it was such a amazing experience when they annouced "It's a girl!". As bad as I would like to like to know, we are going to wait it out again.

gigismomma · September 2011

We did not find out with DD and I am glad I did not. We will find out this time around but are keeping it to ourselves. We will still register for all gender neutral items. We want to know since H will not be here for the birth and it is not a surprise we can experience togather. I am actually considering just letting him know and then I find out at delivery. I know he can keep a secret but I am still up in the air about it.

lovetohike · September 2011

I found out at 14w and 2d with DS.. I SO hope I find out early again! I am hoping for a little boy again.. I have some many cute hand me downs. Janie and Jack is my addiction in life. I will be in too much trouble if I have a girl!

emeraldJ17 · September 2011

I have to find out because I need to plan ahead. I think of it this way. It's a surprise either way. You just find out sooner at your u/s or later at the birth.

mijakach · September 2011

I definitely don't want to find out. I want that moment of "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" right after my baby is born. I think it's more exciting not knowing - at least for me.

dinnerfor2 · September 2011

We did not find out the gender on DD, and I must say the moment she was born was the most exciting moment imaginable. I know we would have still been excited if we already knew she was a girl, but the thrill of the moment was multiplied by about 1000 due to the surprise. For me, labor would be so boring if I already knew the gender. It is soooo hard to wait, but worth it. If you do it, I promise you will not regret it

And by the way, decorating the nursery gender-neutral was no problem, and it did not include the color yellow. DD's crib bedding is Covington Topsy Turvy "circus toile," and I used ivory and an eggshell blue-green throughout the room. I have since added pink. I love to decorate though, so it took some creative thinking. .

Just a few thoughts from the team green side...GL with your decision!

fyziksgirl · September 2011

I'm the opposite, I always thought I'd want to find out, and now that it's real I kind of don't! DH planted the idea of not, because in his family they never did after him (my youngest BIL is 6, so he remembers the processes :P ). Of course, now finding out is sounding more good to him since I planted that idea for him!

I think my biggest thing is that it is SO HARD to get ready without knowing the gender! EVERYTHING nowadays is gender-specific! And while I want a non-gender-specific stroller, carseat, crib, etc. so they can be reused, I really would like to have things like clothes, pacifiers, and other non-reuseables that I find cute rather than acceptable. I know I can go shopping after the baby comes...but honestly, how much am I going to want to? lol :P

LadySnowblood · September 2011

I absolutely positively cannot stand surprises, so I'm going to have to know as soon as I can

Tippy05 · September 2011

We were Team Green for DS and will be again. I loved finding out in the delivery room and hearing "it's a boy!".

Plus, I know 3 people personally that were told one gender only to give birth to the opposite. Yikes! Plus we knew we wanted more kids so everything we got for DS was neutral so we can use it again this time around. It's perfect!

cbee817 · September 2011

We actually wanted to find out the gender, but DD had other plans the day of the u/s. Every time the tech went to look, she would turn onto her belly and curl up into a ball.

We were a little disappointed at first, but when the shower came, I got everything on the registry! Not very many clothes- just some gender neutral onesies/sleepers, which is all she wore for the first few months anyway.

I like Team Green.. not sure what our plans are for #2.. we'll see when we get to that u/s.

kcwags · September 2011

Tamra4:
I definitely want to know. I'm just impatient like that. Honestly, having the ultrasound tech know while I didn't know would drive me nuts!

This exactly!!!

[Deleted User] · September 2011

LOL these are funny but i'm with the - originally wanted to know but now I don't! but DH is being pretty adimit about finding out but I think a surprise would be awesome! Plus room is a nice warm bright yellow (neutral) and we are going with a sea life theme (also neutral) and i'm not big on lots and lots of pink soooo - i say no! lol but we'll see how this goes. he seems to think he can find out and not slip. HA! fat chance!

sandrajean09 · September 2011

I want to find out. I always have and always will. I have to wait 10 months to meet my baby, I don't want to wait that long to know if we have a daughter or a son!

Serendipity117 · September 2011

We found out with DS and will with this one too. I really liked being able to plan his room, not have tons of yellow and green outfits with ducks on them and call him by his name once we had decided. I actually think it helped me bond even knowing that little bit, knowing O was a he.

That being said, we'd like more children (probably a total of 4), and if we had one of each already we might go team green. We'll see what happens when we get to that point I guess.

TerraCotta210 · September 2011

DH and I will be finding out the sex for sure!!! It will help us better prepare - not to mention I hate referring to the baby as "it" rather than "he" or "she".

annerz22 · September 2011

I used to think that I didn't want to find out, but now that I am actually pregnant, DH plan to find out. I guess for me, with all the other types of stress that pregnancy can bring, not knowing what we are having and getting tons of yellow and green is one thing not to worry about.

I feel that it is just as much of a suprise at 20 weeks as it is at birth.

JessicaC128 · September 2011

We don't plan to find out.

VineyardMel · September 2011

I'm torn! I want to know so I can plan and so I can stop calling the baby "it" or alternating between "he" and "she." I also think I'd prefer a gender specific nursery. BUT...I love the idea of finding out in the delivery room. I'm not sure yet (and I think DH is on board with whatever I choose).

TempNewSN · September 2011

I found out with LO1 at 18 weeks. I plan on finding out with LO2, as well. I can't wait until delivery. Plus, I also want to be prepared with clothing and such. With LO1, I didn't want a ton of green and yellow clothing.

jp0129 · September 2011

I want to know. I am a planner and a little controlling sometimes. I want the nursery done ASAP so I have nothing to worry about.

LauraP428 · September 2011

With our DS we didn't find out so it was a surprise in the delivery room. This time, I am kind of leaning towards finding out because if it is a little girl well then we will need to get a lot of new things. If it's a boy though, well we already have most of what we need.

imimahoney · September 2011

We're going to find out. Both my dh and I hate surprises and while finding out at birth would be amazing, it would drive us both insane the entire length of the pregnancy not knowing.

winter-shock · September 2011

Last time around we were team green. I know for DH it was super exciting in the delivery room. But i was so out of it and exhausted, my body was shaking from being in shock (started part ways through pushing) that for me it was not the same thrilling experience. So this time around we are going to find out. So we can share the moment together more.

bestdays07 · September 2011

We are both just excited to know. It would drive me crazy not knowing after I had the opportunity to find out. It was a surprise in the ultrasound room and was very exciting. Good luck with your decision!

newlywedfarmgirl · September 2011

I always thought that I would wait, because it's the last greatest surprise in life. BUT.....now that I'm pregnant I don't think I can, because I'm such a planner!

PurpleSnapDragons · September 2011

I don't want to find out. We are doing a gender neutral nursery so we can reuse stuff with later babies. Plus, it will help restrain myself, mom and sister from buying crazy amounts of clothes. Gender neutral clothes aren't as cute so we will save a lot of money having to wait to find out lol.

McKBaby · September 2011

We can't decide. I am leaning towards not finding out, but DH thinks that he wants to know. I think, if we do decide to find out, we'll keep it a secret.

Yellow is my favorite color so I won't mind getting lots of neutral/yellow/green baby items!

easjer05 · September 2011

I'll have so many ultrasounds that it would be very difficult not to find out eventually. We would like to know as soon as possible, frankly. The few days of knowing our son was a boy and calling him by his name are some of the most precious memories I have.

We'll do a gender neutral nursery and probably keep the sex to ourselves for a good long time (we weren't planning to tell with Gabriel), but for me, I want to know. It's a pretty big surprise whenever you happen to find out, imo.

ET131 · September 2011

We're totally finding out so we can plan the nursery and my mom can sew for it. Omg...I can't wait for December!!!

maybayb25 · September 2011

Surprisingly to me, my husband is the one that wants to keep it a surprise and I am the one that wants to find out. We agreed to wait this time and since we plan to have a second baby, if I still want to find out then we will.

jessefumiko · September 2011

We are going to have our Dr. write it down and seal it in an envelope and BF and I will open it on Christmas Morning

Bemmas221 · September 2011

I always thought I'd want a surprise, but now that I'm looking at all the cute baby stuff, I think I need to know.

FreyaWin2382 · September 2011

This has been a source of debate in our house! I really want to find out before hand....my reasoning being that it is still going to be a surprise when we find out, only earlier....and able to plan! My DH, however, is determined that we be "Team Green", meaning only finding out upon delivery.

Our current compromise is that we can wait for this one, but that subsequent children we will find out early......but you'd better believe then when we go for that second ultrasound I will be looking trying to figure it out!!

ARenee3 · September 2011

Definitely going to find out. I love to plan ahead, and I also really look forward to calling my baby by his/her name as soon as possible.

fyziksgirl · September 2011

Bemmas221:
I always thought I'd want a surprise, but now that I'm looking at all the cute baby stuff, I think I need to know.

This! Neutral baby stuff is (mostly) so very, very ugly. I don't like ducks and I don't like yellow, and it's hard to find a neutral green in my eyes. But on the other hand, I can see it being nice not to know. Just not sure!