Unpopular opinion

Squishy622 · September 2011

LGLDVM:
I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

So well said, LGL

KdgTeacher · September 2011

LGLDVM:
KdgTeacher:
Other than the important job of supplying the sperm, what, exactly, other jobs fall to the man? The woman ovulates, the woman's body does the implantation, the woman's body does the carrying, laboring, birthing, etc.
My H and I have been TTC. I'm the one getting vaginal ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, undergoing surgery, taking meds, and injecting meds into my body. Does he support me? Heck yes. But none of those things fall on him or his body.

Maybe you should make YH inject himself with saline just so he can really get into the moment?

Ya know, you may be on to something there! I should rifle through the cabinets for some saline when I'm at the RE's office at 7:20 tomorrow morning!

Mrs.Mayhem · September 2011

KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:
Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this. Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety. We were both nervous. It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years. I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason?

No, I just think a lot of people see TTC as 90% the woman's responsibility and 10% up to the man. In general, I think the guys should be more involved in the conversation as well as the action.

Well,let's lay the cards out. Other than the important job of supplying the sperm, what, exactly, other jobs fall to the man? The woman ovulates, the woman's body does the implantation, the woman's body does the carrying, laboring, birthing, etc.

My H and I have been TTC. I'm the one getting vaginal ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, undergoing surgery, taking meds, and injecting meds into my body. Does he support me? Heck yes. But none of those things fall on him or his body.

It sounds like your DH is carrying 50% of the emotional burden - and that is awesome. Just because a woman is 90% responsible physically doesn't mean she should be 90% responsible emotionally. The problem that I see is that when women keep too many TTC details from their husbands, then it's harder for them to be involved emotionally. As long as you and your DH on on the same page and sharing in the emotional and physical aspects of TTC, then I see no problem whatsoever.

btaylor19 · September 2011

LGLDVM:
KdgTeacher:
Other than the important job of supplying the sperm, what, exactly, other jobs fall to the man? The woman ovulates, the woman's body does the implantation, the woman's body does the carrying, laboring, birthing, etc.
My H and I have been TTC. I'm the one getting vaginal ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, undergoing surgery, taking meds, and injecting meds into my body. Does he support me? Heck yes. But none of those things fall on him or his body.

Maybe you should make YH inject himself with saline just so he can really get into the moment?

Sympathy shots!

KdgTeacher · September 2011

LGLDVM:
KdgTeacher:
LGLDVM:
KdgTeacher:
Other than the important job of supplying the sperm, what, exactly, other jobs fall to the man? The woman ovulates, the woman's body does the implantation, the woman's body does the carrying, laboring, birthing, etc.
My H and I have been TTC. I'm the one getting vaginal ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, undergoing surgery, taking meds, and injecting meds into my body. Does he support me? Heck yes. But none of those things fall on him or his body.

Maybe you should make YH inject himself with saline just so he can really get into the moment?

Ya know, you may be on to something there! I should rifle through the cabinets for some saline when I'm at the RE's office at 7:20 tomorrow morning!

I can send you some. I have a huge bag of leftover saline from when I was mixing 3 vials of Bravelle and 1 of menopur 1 vial of saline twice a day. I was going to take it to my RE for them to use with injection classes, but say the word... :P

I will not lie to you. I totally shuddered reading that--but it could have something to do with the fact I was just watching the "How-To" video on giving myself the Ovidrel shot and working myself up about it! ::shivers::

reinstone · September 2011

LGLDVM:
reinstone:
Oh FFS.

REIN!!!!!

purplehydrangea · September 2011

mchupie:
Mrs.Mayhem:

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days. I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile. He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.

This is ridiculous. DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea. So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him. If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

I'm not saying that I disagree about whether to talk about your fertile window or not (personally, we do), obviously the right answer on that one varies from woman to woman.

I think the bolded statement above is not a fair conparison. By no way does my husbands bowl movements affect my getting pregnant...where as him having an idea that I am ovulating does.....

ricecakes1216 · September 2011

This is our 6th cycle and every cycle until now I have told DH when I was approximately going to O. The last 2 cycles he seemed pretty put off and would push me away or couldn't perform as well as he normally can. So this cycle I have decided not to tell him and initate more than usual. Our sex life hasn't been better and there are no performance problems. He knows that we are having sex for more than just pleasure, but I don't have make him feel like I'm "using" him.

Twinkie0612 · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:
Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this. Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety. We were both nervous. It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years. I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason?

No, I just think a lot of people see TTC as 90% the woman's responsibility and 10% up to the man. In general, I think the guys should be more involved in the conversation as well as the action.

I don't think that my not giving my husband all of the details means that he is uninvolved. We have had numerous discussions about TTC and he knows the basics. Because we have had performance issues, I don't offer the information freely. If he wants to know, he'll ask and I'll tell him.

My husband is probably more involved than most. He even got a little upset because I tested without him one day.

brookelynpaisley · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
It sounds like your DH is carrying 50% of the emotional burden - and that is awesome. Just because a woman is 90% responsible physically doesn't mean she should be 90% responsible emotionally. The problem that I see is that when women keep too many TTC details from their husbands, then it's harder for them to be involved emotionally. As long as you and your DH on on the same page and sharing in the emotional and physical aspects of TTC, then I see no problem whatsoever.

Why are you putting quotas on other womens' husbands' emotional involvement? My husband is 100% involved emotionally. He's always there for me when I get down. He loved talking names. He was always up to have sex when I said "it's go time." I could not ask for a better partner when it comes to TTC. But that doesn't mean that I would have told him when go time was if it wasn't necessary. In the beginning, before we realized sex drive could be an issue, not once did I tell him I was O'ing. He had no desire to know that I had fertile CM or my OPK was + or that my cervix was high. Frankly, I didn't want to tell him either. I don't particularly feel a need to know about his secretions, why should he know about mine? I wanted him to see me as a lover no matter what part of my cycle I was in, not a science experiment.

Don't you judge my husband on your criteria for your own relationship.

EDIT: words

mchupie · September 2011

purplehydrangea:
mchupie:
This is ridiculous. DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea. So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him. If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

I'm not saying that I disagree about whether to talk about your fertile window or not (personally, we do), obviously the right answer on that one varies from woman to woman.

I think the bolded statement above is not a fair conparison. By no way does my husbands bowl movements affect my getting pregnant...where as him having an idea that I am ovulating does.....

If you read the rest of my response I said that so long as you initiate sex when you are fertile, him having an idea that you are ovulating really makes no difference at all.

reinstone · September 2011

Just because I don't share when I'm Oing with Mr. Rein doesn't mean he isn't emotionally invested in TTC. He takes CD1 harder than I do. And whoever judges me for not telling my husband every intimate detail about my body is an assshat.

angelsnight · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"
My husband has never said this.
It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days. I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile. He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.
When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.

I equate it to him keeping quiet on things that don't interest me. If he takes my car to get an oil change, I could care less about the details. It needed changed, he changed it, ok we're good.

Plus, I wouldn't want him to feel like the ONLY reason I'm initiating sex is because I want to get pregnant, and I feel like telling him "come on, I'm ovulating we had to do the deed" would come off as that.

on_a_whim · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

I see what you are saying... and that (so far) it's working for you. I think what most of the PPs are getting at is that it doesn't necessarily work for everyone...and that it is very subjective to each relationship. I would assume that the ladies you are referring to are probably ones that have found out the hard way, so to speak, that involving their H in the fine details of O didn't pan out for them in the sack... so obviously, these individuals will give advice that they felt worked for them. The vibe of "I just don't understand what the big deal is with women who don't involve their H" behind your OP comment is probably why there has been so much feedback here; not everyone approaches TTC the same way, and to group everyone together under the same umbrella is ultimately an inaccurate assumption.

At the end of the day, everyone needs to handle their business the way that works best for them and in their relationship. To tell or not to tell... that is the question. Oh, and I don't tell, otherwise it's a flop... literally. Sad

Twinkie0612 · September 2011

angelsnight:
Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days. I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile. He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.

I equate it to him keeping quiet on things that don't interest me. If he takes my car to get an oil change, I could care less about the details. It needed changed, he changed it, ok we're good.

Plus, I wouldn't want him to feel like the ONLY reason I'm initiating sex is because I want to get pregnant, and I feel like telling him "come on, I'm ovulating we had to do the deed" would come off as that.

Yes

buckeyebaby814 · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"
My husband has never said this.
It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days. I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile. He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.
When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.

This has nothing to do with 'recommending' not telling your husband! It doesn't bother me that my husband prefers not to know and as a result, we do have more fun. I don't know if you UO has anything to do with myself, and several others, saying this to an individual poster, but it was only a suggestion an ultimately a personal choice one needs to think over and make. This is a public message board in which someone vented and I provided a few possible solutions.

ETA: Just because I'm not telling my husband when I'm Oing doesn't make him any less part of the equation or decision. It's kind of ridiculous that you would even suggest/ insinuate this.

ryansmamaxo · September 2011

I don't get into crazy specifics with DH because he doesn't understand half of it anyways. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely smart but when it comes to the female reproductive system it's not the most interesting subject for most men I wouldn't think. Anyways I basically make sure he knows which days are good for us to BD without giving details about why. That is good enough for him. It doesn't cause any added pressure for him to know these are my fertile days - in fact it makes him happy that he has a concrete no fail reason to get some

except days like today...when he has his man period, and he's too snarky for anything but fantasy football and scratching himself.

LovestruckAJ · September 2011

LGLDVM:
BrazilianPeach:
I feel it's easier to tell him before hand than have to tell him "sorry honey no BJ tonight" when he's so ready for one. I give him a warning that we are in baby mode and try to make it worth his while (e.g nice meal, foot rubs, etc)

That totally makes sense. It's how things work in your bedroom. In our bedroom, BJs only happen when I'm surfing the crimson wave. I don't have to tell MH when AF shows, but my mouth does let him know

Bahahahaha!! Such truth.

purplehydrangea · September 2011

Again, I think it varies from couple to couple. MH easily works 90+ hours a week so we could miss my fertile window if I didn't let him know it was coming. That being said, by no means am I bringing up ovulation every single we have sex. It's come to the point where I will usually give him the heads up a week in advance (I'm on clomid and go for regular u/s) so he knows that he needs to be around.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I didn't communicate O time with him, there is a good chance I would not get KU.

ETA - quote fail, response to mchupie

on_a_whim · September 2011

ryansmamaxo:
I don't get into crazy specifics with DH because he doesn't understand half of it anyways. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely smart but when it comes to the female reproductive system it's not the most interesting subject for most men I wouldn't think. Anyways I basically make sure he knows which days are good for us to BD without giving details about why. That is good enough for him. It doesn't cause any added pressure for him to know these are my fertile days - in fact it makes him happy that he has a concrete no fail reason to get some except days like today...when he has his man period, and he's too snarky for anything but fantasy football and scratching himself.

Just going on info from your other post...

You say here it doesn't add any pressure - but in your other thread you said YH is working late, all pissy and (seemingly) stand-offish - all around your O time...maybe there's a connection? Just a thought to ponder...

sydsmom04 · September 2011

This has nothing to do with 'recommending' not telling your husband! It doesn't bother me that my husband prefers not to know and as a result, we do have more fun. I don't know if you UO has anything to do with myself, and several others, saying this to an individual poster, but it was only a suggestion an ultimately a personal choice one needs to think over and make. This is a public message board in which someone vented and I provided a few possible solutions.
ETA: Just because I'm not telling my husband when I'm Oing doesn't make him any less part of the equation or decision. It's kind of ridiculous that you would even suggest/ insinuate this.

Agreed. DH doesn't need to know the details at that particular moment. He is 100% supportive and I tell him what he wants to know if he asks. If he doesn't ask, then I feel like he knows what he needs to for the time being. He is a big boy and can express his feelings and emotions when he wants.

celestialnyte · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

I agree with you. However, through trial and error, I have found out what I can and can't share with DH without getting an "eww that's gross" face. I absolutely agree that he should be aware of facts, however I also think that some H's are able to handle more of the more "gory" details (ie - CM ...I know MH thinks that's disgusting and I have never seen a more grossed out face than when I tried to talk to him about that.) I think DH should know about my O date. Though, in all honesty, I'm not sure he 'gets' it. When I told him we'd have to BD on 3 days around my O date, he goes "but if it's only a 24 hour period, why so often?"

nursemama2be · September 2011

I could see how some DH feel a lot of stress when their wife is fertile. My DH wants go know, I htink he puts some extra effort into it then. But if he didn't want to know I wouldn't tell him. However, I think he would figure it out since I would be initiating sex for 3-4 days in a row Stick out tongue doesn't take a genius.

qt030603 · September 2011

mchupie:
Mrs.Mayhem:

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days. I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile. He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.

This is ridiculous. DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea. So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him. If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

Yes Yes Yes agreed!

on_a_whim · September 2011

celestialnyte:
Mrs.Mayhem:
I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance. I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts. He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).

I agree with you. However, through trial and error, I have found out what I can and can't share with DH without getting an "eww that's gross" face. I absolutely agree that he should be aware of facts, however I also think that some H's are able to handle more of the more "gory" details (ie - CM ...I know MH thinks that's disgusting and I have never seen a more grossed out face than when I tried to talk to him about that.) I think DH should know about my O date. Though, in all honesty, I'm not sure he 'gets' it. When I told him we'd have to BD on 3 days around my O date, he goes "but if it's only a 24 hour period, why so often?"

LOL...mine didn't get it either the first couple of times I tried to include him... In fact, I'm pretty sure I watched his eyes glaze over.

jschwind22 · September 2011

I have always operated under the assumption (and based on performance anxiety happening!) that DH would get performance anxiety if he knew it was O time. So reading this thread sparked me to ask DH if he wanted to know if it was O time or not. He said "h*ll no!" and then put his finger straight out and drooped/bent it down. It was hilarious.

Bottom line for me is what is shared between you and DH is specific to your relationship and what works for you.

bostonbluejay · September 2011

The whole 50's analogy baffles me. Yes, I agree with others who have said tell your husband if he wants to know, but if it stresses him out or adds pressure then don't tell him.

Here's the thing, yes your husband should be involved in whatever capacity is right for you as a couple. The man's most important part of the whole process is ejaculation, no? So, if you keeping quiet about your eggs and juices allows him to effectively get from point A (erection) to point B (ejaculation), does that really mean you're like a 50's wife who has to be all shiny and happy? No.

Personally, I don't want my husband and I to be "equals". I want my husband and I to be partners, and that's a different thing in my opinion. I have a vagina, he has a penis. We're already off to a bad start on the "equals" thing. I like it when he picks me up and takes me to bed. I like a little Scarlet O'Hara/Rhett Butler dynamic in the bedroom sometimes. Does that mean I'm like a 50's wife? I don't think so. Does that mean he's not putting effort into TTC or supporting me? Again, I don't think so.

BP said it well when she said she wants her husband to see her as a lover, not a science experiment. I don't want him to know *everything* because sometimes I like it when he looks at me all lusty and take charge.

Carolinagirl413 · September 2011

Mrs.Mayhem:
KdgTeacher:
Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:
Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this. Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety. We were both nervous. It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years. I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason?

No, I just think a lot of people see TTC as 90% the woman's responsibility and 10% up to the man. In general, I think the guys should be more involved in the conversation as well as the action.

I have never thought TTC is 90% my job...it takes 2 to tango, so to speak. I just do not see a need to suck the romance out of the evening by saying, "Hey Honey, it's baby making time, snap to!" I am also seducing my DH at other times in the month, not just during the FW; in my opinion, that is part of a healthy relationship.

farmerlynda · September 2011

bostonbluejay:
The whole 50's analogy baffles me. Yes, I agree with others who have said tell your husband if he wants to know, but if it stresses him out or adds pressure then don't tell him.
Here's the thing, yes your husband should be involved in whatever capacity is right for you as a couple. The man's most important part of the whole process is ejaculation, no? So, if you keeping quiet about your eggs and juices allows him to effectively get from point A (erection) to point B (ejaculation), does that really mean you're like a 50's wife who has to be all shiny and happy? No.
Personally, I don't want my husband and I to be "equals". I want my husband and I to be partners, and that's a different thing in my opinion. I have a vagina, he has a penis. We're already off to a bad start on the "equals" thing. I like it when he picks me up and takes me to bed. I like a little Scarlet O'Hara/Rhett Butler dynamic in the bedroom sometimes. Does that mean I'm like a 50's wife? I don't think so. Does that mean he's not putting effort into TTC or supporting me? Again, I don't think so.
BP said it well when she said she wants her husband to see her as a lover, not a science experiment. I don't want him to know *everything* because sometimes I like it when he looks at me all lusty and take charge.

I love this and agree with it wholeheartedly. I can't lift an 80 pound feed sack; I'm not MH's physical equal, but I'm certainly his physical partner Wink

That said, I do clue MH in to my cycles because eventually it created a bit of friction between us. Note that this was more my problem than his! Eventually, after trying so long and being the only one dealing with the hope and disappointment of charting, I started to feel like he didn't care as much about TTC as I did (because he wasn't as involved). Turns out he has no problem knowing where I am in my cycle and if I mention fertile window he goes "Chance to have sex! Awesome!" and seduces me.

We tend to share everything anyway, so this works well for us. However I don't judge others who keep their information to themselves, and also totally understand the difficulties of performing under pressure (as we've had to do for the past 7 years with SAs... and I do mean we.... because DH can't go it alone under pressure.)

amanda079 · September 2011

bostonbluejay:
The whole 50's analogy baffles me. Yes, I agree with others who have said tell your husband if he wants to know, but if it stresses him out or adds pressure then don't tell him.
Here's the thing, yes your husband should be involved in whatever capacity is right for you as a couple. The man's most important part of the whole process is ejaculation, no? So, if you keeping quiet about your eggs and juices allows him to effectively get from point A (erection) to point B (ejaculation), does that really mean you're like a 50's wife who has to be all shiny and happy? No.
Personally, I don't want my husband and I to be "equals". I want my husband and I to be partners, and that's a different thing in my opinion. I have a vagina, he has a penis. We're already off to a bad start on the "equals" thing. I like it when he picks me up and takes me to bed. I like a little Scarlet O'Hara/Rhett Butler dynamic in the bedroom sometimes. Does that mean I'm like a 50's wife? I don't think so. Does that mean he's not putting effort into TTC or supporting me? Again, I don't think so.
BP said it well when she said she wants her husband to see her as a lover, not a science experiment. I don't want him to know *everything* because sometimes I like it when he looks at me all lusty and take charge.

Love this. Everything you said was so perfectly put!

KMac570 · September 2011

I think that this is a really odd issue to debate. Everyone's relationship is different. If you husband wants (or needs) to know, obviously tell him. If he doesn't, or if you think it will give him performance anxiety or make him feel like a science experiment, don't tell him. How can anyone argue with this?

For my part, I strongly believe that telling my husband that level of detail, at least at this early point in our TTC, will cause more harm than good. Therefore, I will not tell him, unless he asks (and trust me, he won't! lol). That said, I would never judge someone else for doing otherwise - their husband is different, and presumably, their circumstances are as well.

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