Unpopular opinion

Mrs.Mayhem

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

MrsSerendipity

I completely agree with you.

KdgTeacher

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

SGC29

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

siple1am

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

  And isn't him having sex with you his part?

mchupie

Does it really matter?  I would imagine that "hey baby I'm ovulating now" would cause more undue stress than it would do good.

Mrs.Mayhem

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

kellyrn9956

Very individual issue.

For me and my DH, the constant badgering about "fertile window" sex was breaking our relationship.

I decided I loved him more than I loved his sperm.

SGC29

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

But say hypothetically that it DID stress him out, would you still continue to tell him each month? That seems a little crappy to me. It seems like it would cause performance anxiety and make the TTC process more difficult. ykwim? 

MissGOP

I agree that DH should know when I O and want to be a part of the whole process (every step of the way). However, after two cycles of telling him all the details (including details about CM), I found that he wasn't as responsive as I hoped or wanted.

 It isn't that I don't want to tell him when I O, but instead it is more about approaching the subject differently with him to lessen his anxiety or stress. DH will still know all the facts about TTC (he's a nurse, after all), but I just plan to not get so caught up in talking about it that we forget to have fun. I hope that makes sense. To each their own!

Mrs.Mayhem

SGC29:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

 

I think it's funny that people act like men are the only ones subject to stress over this stuff.  If I can deal with it - so can he.  Neither of us are putting pressure on each other, but we're both aware of the facts.  I just don't see the need to keep it from him. 

 

 

KdgTeacher

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

Did you see that little word "if" in my question?  IF your DH said it stressed him out would you continue to tell him? 

emu0013

My DH is aware of timing, he travels quite a bit for work, and he can schedule around O time. It has never stressed him out and we are heading into month 15...It's not like I say I am Oing today, lets go....But he does general timing and what the results of my U/S are.

SGC29

Mrs.Mayhem:

SGC29:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

 

I think it's funny that people act like men are the only ones subject to stress over this stuff.  If I can deal with it - so can he.  Neither of us are putting pressure on each other, but we're both aware of the facts.  I just don't see the need to keep it from him. 

 

 

So if it stresses him out, and he can't get it up, you would still continue to tell him and risk not being able to have sex?  

closure17

I keep it to myself unless he asks. He's never asked me to keep it quiet, but I don't want to add any stress.

KdgTeacher

Mrs.Mayhem:

SGC29:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

 

I think it's funny that people act like men are the only ones subject to stress over this stuff.  If I can deal with it - so can he.  Neither of us are putting pressure on each other, but we're both aware of the facts.  I just don't see the need to keep it from him. 

 

 

Except your stress over this is probably going to have zero impact on you ovulating.  Where as some men can have issue ejaculating if they are worried about being required to perform. 

SGC29

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

SGC29:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

 

I think it's funny that people act like men are the only ones subject to stress over this stuff.  If I can deal with it - so can he.  Neither of us are putting pressure on each other, but we're both aware of the facts.  I just don't see the need to keep it from him. 

 

 

Except your stress over this is probably going to have zero impact on you ovulating.  Where as some men can have issue ejaculating if they are worried about being required to perform. 

ding ding ding! This is what I was getting at  

ms51030

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

Just because your husband doesn't say this doesn't mean that other husbands (who want a baby just as bad as you and your DH) haven't said it. Plus, he may not care now but 8 months from now it might be a different story. 

50's wife? Sorry, I don't get that one. 

ms51030

Mrs.Mayhem:

SGC29:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

This is my understanding as to why many women do not tell. My H doesn't seem stressed in the least by it but if he were to tell me that it did stress him a little I would keep the dates to myself and it would be business as usual. I think it is more of a courtesy to the husbands who feel maybe "performance anxiety", and not so much trying to keep it a secret to be deceptive in any way. 

I think it's funny that people act like men are the only ones subject to stress over this stuff.  If I can deal with it - so can he.  Neither of us are putting pressure on each other, but we're both aware of the facts.  I just don't see the need to keep it from him. 

This kinda makes it sound like you think the ladies who don't tell their husband are being sneaky and trying to steal some sperm.

Mrs.Mayhem

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

Did you see that little word "if" in my question?  IF your DH said it stressed him out would you continue to tell him? 

If it stressed him out, then we'd need to talk about why - and possibly take a break from TTC.   I mean, if I try to seduce him three days in a row he's gonna know anyways.  

siple1am

LGLDVM:

I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

Exactly, I miss you LGL!

mchupie

Mrs.Mayhem:

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

This is ridiculous.  DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea.  So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him.  If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

MissGOP

LGLDVM:

I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

This! We each do what works for us and deal with the consequences of those choices. I'm still new to TTC and finding out what works for us. It does help to hear what others think, though.

Shayliz

As long as your husband is informed and willing to TTC, I don't see why he needs to know the details. It's not like you're going to get KTFU and he's going to go "HOLY CRAP HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!" 

My husband knows when my fertile window is because the doctor tells us, otherwise he really didn't care to know.  

ukcats27

LegalPawn:

LGLDVM:

I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

  MH started having performance problems when he knew what my O dates were.  Never said anything about it, but I could tell that there was something going on.  So, I stopped telling him.  After we conceived, he admitted to me that telling him my O date put pressure on him to "get the job" done.  And he always felt like it was his fault when we had an unsuccessful cycle.  He also said that it took the fun out of sex and made it seem more like work.  Just keep in mind that YH might not be telling you what he's thinking/feeling because he's being "a man."

 

Mrs.Mayhem

jefa621:

Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this.  Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

 

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety.  We were both nervous.  It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years.  I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

ms51030

mchupie:

Mrs.Mayhem:

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

This is ridiculous.  DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea.  So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him.  If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

In preparation to TTC, I asked DH if he wanted to know and he said "Why? Do you think I'm going to be able to give them a pep talk and shoot out super-fertile sperm?"

KdgTeacher

Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:

Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this.  Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

 

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety.  We were both nervous.  It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years.  I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason? 

GermanGirl2007

LGLDVM:

I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

Well said.

Then again, we don't sh!t with the door open either. So maybe I am a 50's wife.

SGC29

Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:

Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this.  Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

 

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety.  We were both nervous.  It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years.  I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

I don't think that has anything to do with it. I think it has nothing to do with the woman wanting to "bear all the burden" and more to do with wanting the husband to still be able to get it up and get the job done. Pressure on a man can often equal pressure on the peen and when TTC those two do not mix. 

Buona Fortuna

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

I've seen a lot of ladies recommend not telling your husband when you are ovulating so that you don't kill the romance.  I can understand not obsessing over it, but I see no reason why my husband shouldn't be aware of the facts.  He is half of the equation and I think it's important that he is involved in the process (in more ways than one).  

 

So, if your husband tells you it stresses him out and he feels like he has to perform you're going to continue telling him anyway since he is "half of the equation"

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

Did you see that little word "if" in my question?  IF your DH said it stressed him out would you continue to tell him? 

If it stressed him out, then we'd need to talk about why - and possibly take a break from TTC.   I mean, if I try to seduce him three days in a row he's gonna know anyways.  

How would you feel if HE were dependent on YOUR orgasm?  Can you get off without a hitch under that stress?

Mrs.Mayhem

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:

Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this.  Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

 

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety.  We were both nervous.  It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years.  I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason? 

No, I just think a lot of people see TTC as 90% the woman's responsibility and 10% up to the man.  In general, I think the guys should be more involved in the conversation as well as the action.

mchupie

ms51030:

mchupie:

Mrs.Mayhem:

My husband has never said this.

It's not like I'm demanding that he have sex with me on specified days.  I'm just letting him know when I'm the most fertile.  He wants a baby, too, so most of the time he's game.

When women don't share this information with their husbands it reminds me of the 50's when women were expected to be shiny and happy all the time so that they don't add stress to the household.  

This is ridiculous.  DH needs to know when I am fertile as much as I need to know whether or not he is currently constipated or is having diarrhea.  So long as you know, and you initiate sex accordingly, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to tell him.

That said, if he wants to know, sure, tell him.  If he doesn't want to know and/or if it stresses him out, it completely makes no sense to tell him.

In preparation to TTC, I asked DH if he wanted to know and he said "Why? Do you think I'm going to be able to give them a pep talk and shoot out super-fertile sperm?"

Give your DH a high five for me.  Awesomeness.

btaylor19

LGLDVM:

Mrs.Mayhem:

If it stressed him out, then we'd need to talk about why - and possibly take a break from TTC.   I mean, if I try to seduce him three days in a row he's gonna know anyways.  

You don't think the 'why' might just be as simple as performance anxiety?  Have you ever needed to use lubrication for sex? Sometimes men and their penises don't see eye to eye on things. The mind may be willing but the body doesn't always cooperate. It doesn't mean they don't want to, they just feel that extra pressure of 'if we don't do it RIGHT NOW, I'll have ruined our chance of making a baby'

How is that difficult to comprehend? It's not an indication that they don't want children, sometimes it's quite the opposite. They are so invested that they freak out about failing.

Well said.   

btaylor19

LGLDVM:

Mrs.Mayhem:

If it stressed him out, then we'd need to talk about why - and possibly take a break from TTC.   I mean, if I try to seduce him three days in a row he's gonna know anyways.  

You don't think the 'why' might just be as simple as performance anxiety?  Have you ever needed to use lubrication for sex? Sometimes men and their penises don't see eye to eye on things. The mind may be willing but the body doesn't always cooperate. It doesn't mean they don't want to, they just feel that extra pressure of 'if we don't do it RIGHT NOW, I'll have ruined our chance of making a baby'

How is that difficult to comprehend? It's not an indication that they don't want children, sometimes it's quite the opposite. They are so invested that they freak out about failing.

Well said.   

reinstone

Oh FFS.

AnoraStar

LGLDVM:

I don't know if I consider this an unpopular opinion, but rather the opinion of someone who thinks that what works for them MUST work for everyone else or they are doing it wrong. Marriage is a partnership and every partnership has a different dynamic. What works in your bedroom might not work in someone elses. No one is making you NOT tell your husband the intimate details of what is going on in your uterus and vagina all day long, so don't look down your nose at those who choose to keep a bit of the mystery to themselves.

Wise words, LGL.

Do what works for you and stop worrying what others are doing.

holsomback6510

Depends on the DH. Performance anxiety isn't going to create a baby for us!

KdgTeacher

Mrs.Mayhem:

KdgTeacher:

Mrs.Mayhem:

jefa621:

Obviously you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to worry about this.  Count your lucky stars and maybe have a little support for the women and husbands do have these concerns.

 

Okay, point taken.

Just so you know, the first cycle we tried, DH did get a little performance anxiety.  We were both nervous.  It was the first time we'd NOT used birth control in 9 years.  I'm thankful that it didn't continue.

I don't judge people who shield their husband's out of necessity, but I feel like there is sometimes an underlying attitude that TTC is up to the woman and the husband's should be shielded from the details.

So, you just judge those who don't tell for any other reason? 

No, I just think a lot of people see TTC as 90% the woman's responsibility and 10% up to the man.  In general, I think the guys should be more involved in the conversation as well as the action.

Well,let's lay the cards out.  Other than the important job of supplying the sperm, what, exactly, other jobs fall to the man?  The woman ovulates, the woman's body does the implantation, the woman's body does the carrying, laboring, birthing, etc.

My H and I have been TTC.  I'm the one getting vaginal ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, undergoing surgery, taking meds, and injecting meds into my body.  Does he support me? Heck yes.  But none of those things fall on him or his body.

 

brookelynpaisley

My husband's sex drive is low (it's the reason we both suspect low T). If I hadn't spent 13 cycles telling him I was ovulating, we'd have never had a chance. Thankfully, he was almost always happy to oblige, and even more thankfully, it didn't stress him out.

Buona Fortuna

LGLDVM:

BrazilianPeach:

I feel it's easier to tell him before hand than have to tell him "sorry honey no BJ tonight" when he's so ready for one. I give him a warning that we are in baby mode and try to make it worth his while (e.g nice meal, foot rubs, etc)

That totally makes sense. It's how things work in your bedroom. In our bedroom, BJs only happen when I'm surfing the crimson wave. I don't have to tell MH when AF shows, but my mouth does let him know

I literally laughed out loud.  niiiiiiiiiice