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October 2011 Moms
FFFC...can I start?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC...can I start?
Commie Bastards! LOL. If you want this kind of gov't regulation, move to a Communist/Socialist country.
My confession - I felt horribly unsupported in labour with DS. I had planned a homebirth, but my MW was abrupt and bossy, and my DH was like a deer in headlights. I'm so scared of that happening again. I feel like now I know what kind of support I'll need in labour, and I'm having other people there (MIL, SIL and a close friend, in addition to DH and my MW) but still I worry that it won't be enough, that I won't be able to focus on anything other than the pain. I even forgot I was having a baby! And so I went to the hospital, had an epidural, was bored out of my mind, and then pushed. I was actually in shock once my son came out, because it was the first time all day I really thought much beyond the pain and what it was all for. It wasn't a bad experience per se, it just wasn't what I wanted, and I felt I was capable of so much more, and that I had let myself down somewhere.
(As an aside, I'm really not trying to judge anyone on unmedicated vs medicated labour, home vs hospital births. I just had hopes for how it would go, and feel to blame that things didn't pan out how I had envisioned.)
I just want to say how much I love Janimal.
Also, it was a few women and a man that got me pregnant while DH watched
(sounds very kinky, even though it wasn't)
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
OOOH SORRY LADIES!
I totally forgot that this wasn't flame free...? Yeah. And I dont usually participate in FFFC so perhaps that would be why I didn't know this subject has been rehashed a time or two. Forgive me. Get over it.
And i'll stick to what I said before. I think gov't assistance is great in many cases. But I will not pretend like planning to get pregnant time after time even though you have NO MONEY TO SUPPORT THE CHILDREN is responsible. Awesome that he is going to school. Im sure once he graduates he will find a job that will help them get off of welfare. But until this particular woman quits bragging to me about her 'free' healthcare and how delivering each of her 4 babies was 'free' and she feels sorry for me that my maternity deductable is $7200, and how she has a $900 charge card to use on groceries for the month so my husband and I should come over for ribs tonight...Yep, thats my opinion. And if you disagree, you can suck it because i'm not going to argue about MY OPINION.
I can admit that I have made sweeping generalizations about welfare abuse before.. though never quite to the point of inviting myself over for dinner. WTF? Nice attitude.
My attitude was adjusted when I got smacked in the face with the stark reality of the situation facing many people who *really* need help by volunteering for the Salvation Army for a few holiday seasons. For SA holiday assistance, they have to come with documentation of income, expenses and the (usually meager) amount of money covered by food stamps, section 8, etc. It was enough to make me want to cry most of the time. Do that just once, look at these people in the eye that really NEED that help, talk to them face to face and then tell me if you feel the same way.
Yes, there are people that abuse the system, but do you really think most are abusing the system? Would it be more satisfying to cut off the assistance and deal with an upswing in homelessness, just so you don't feel like they're getting a sweet hand out?
So you have neighbors who are nice enough to invite you over for dinner, who are compassionate about YOUR out of pocket expenses, with a father who is going to school to improve their situation. Yeah, they should definitely not be parents.
Only rich folk need reproduce? Really?
Well if that's your logic - how about this. Your posts indicate that I make a crapload more money than you. So I'd like to lay a claim to your kid, please. I might like another one and really don't wanna be pregnant again. I have more money, therefore, I will be a more appropriate and responsible parent, yes? Oh, and I should get to go over to your neighbors' place and eat more ribs than you to, you know, since I pay more in taxes.
I bet you just read that last paragraph and thought it was ridiculous. That's because it was. Just as ridiculous as what you are writing.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
I totally agree and I am a second time mom...third if you count that I am also a step parent.
I have a feeling that a few people on this board really do not understand how welfare works. I keep hearing all these stories about people with fancy mcmansions, cars and boats living the high life on welfare....yet all welfare programs take into account ALL your assets not just your cash on hand. And they investigate to figure these things out.You would not qualify if you owned these things.
Another interesting fact is that most people are only on TANF (the cash benefits most people complain about) for around 2 years. But whatever, keep talking about people on welfare for years buying fancy boats with their loads of welfare cash.
I really get the idea that people in an ideal world should not have kids unless they can afford to care for them. But I would imagine that would mean most of the ladies on the Bump shouldn't be having kids given how many money freak out posts I see on here. And really, in the end it doesn't really matter. The point is the kids are here and the purpose of welfare programs is to make sure they don't end up dying in the streets. At the end of the day, that is really all that matters to me.
My FFFC:
I am having my second child who will be covered by medicaid due to his diagnoses of Spina Bifida at 19 weeks. I also recieve WIC to help with groceries, and state assisted financial aide to go to college. I am a ft student, a pt working mom, and we are in the process of buying our 1st home. FI and myself def planned LO #2 but things along the way of this pregnancy didn't go as smooth as DS#1. I am so thankful and appreciative that there are government assistance funds for people who truely need them. Not all people who use them are abusing the system.
I completely agree with this, and practice it. I have been judged for it, but it makes me a better mom and a whole person.
Yesterday I was a tattle tale and informed the office that a neighbor was dumping furniture next to the dumpsters. She was able to confront him and I scored $100 of this months rent! Whoohoo!!
My Confession:
I'm sick of people telling me not to buy things because "Someone might buy it for you!" I had family members ask me to make a registry, even though I wasn't having a shower (We're to spread out). I did because they asked me too, but no one seems to have gotten anything. Which is fine, that just means I need to get it myself. That's what I had originally planned anyhow. I just find it increasingly irritating to hear people say "Oh, don't do that, someone might buy it for you!" Well then they need to tell me they plan too. Because I'm not a mind reader, and I'm just a little over a month out, I'd rather have this stuff already bought than rely that someone might get me something. I've been hearing this for about four months now, so people either need to let me know what they plan to do, or keep their mouths shut and let me get it myself.