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October 2011 Moms
BFP 02/04/2011;EDD 10/14/2011;Induced due to pre-e 09/07/2011;Jack born 09/08/2011
FFFC...can I start?
I think someone said something a while back about people who don't watch the news being ostriches. Well, I'm an ostrich. I know there are horrible things in the world, I am not naive, but if I watched any more than 10 minutes of top stories, traffic, and weather in the morning, I'd give up on the world and probably end up hating everyone. I don't need to watch the news to know there are disgusting people out there, and I can't handle the fear-mongering that the media does just to get ratings.
BFP 02/04/2011;EDD 10/14/2011;Induced due to pre-e 09/07/2011;Jack born 09/08/2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC...can I start?
Whenever I go to any birth related classes or meetings I am typically by far the youngest person there. It makes me feel strange and like maybe these people know something I don't know about. I am 29 though! That isn't that young, well at least not compared to the nest. But in my Bradley class most of the folks are just about 40 or in their 40s. Heck, at my infant CPR class the lady I was talking to had been a Dr. for 15 years BEFORE changing careers...so I assume she had to be in her 40s as well.
Never before has 29 felt so young!
I judge people that can't pay their bills. It amazes me how many people cannot budget their money. Not just on TB, but in general. A lot of people have reminded me "having a baby is really expensive, are you ready?" Um yes, we've been planning and saving for quite some time now. And heaven forbid anything happen to our jobs, we'd be safe for several months before we had to start sweating it out (if there were no jobs to be found).
I realize life is unexpected, and sometimes people are thrown into that situation, but I see it at work constantly where people year after year have done nothing to help get themselves out of the hole.
First of - thank you for your service. That is not just lip service from me either - my whole family has served (myself included).
I agree with you that there are plenty of ways in which the govt could shed defense spending without touching a penny of the benefits for active & retired military. You all deserve your benefits after reaching 20 years of service & in my opinion you deserve the benefits after 10 (but that will never happen).
My FFFC is that I'm losing hope that I'll be able to deliver vaginally & while I'm not fearful of having a c-section, I'll be seriously disappointed if I have to. I know that it really won't matter once I hold my baby for the first time, but it makes me feel inadequate. My previa is marginal and I feel like I should have the choice to try to labor (I haven't had any complications at all) before they make me choose the c-section option.
im totally jealous! I'm free tomorrow if you'd like to take me on a shopping spree!
we aren't having any financial troubles or anything but there isn't a lot of surplus after bills, necessities, and savings!
I LOVE my OB and MW and the entire office, but they are so efficient that they email all test results as soon as they are in. So here I am this morning with Dr. Google, trying to interpret my blood and urine tests. NOT GOOD.
I know that I need to step away from the computer because they will call me if something is wrong, but I can't help myself. DH just asked me if we should spend the day together because "it might be my last." Needless to say, he thinks I am crazy.
This should probably go under the UO thread but- I am always taken aback when I read the posts about breaking the pregnancy "rules"- "I'm doing X, Y & Z every day and my baby is fine- everything in moderation!!!" Um, okay. While I am by no means perfect (at all), if the doctor recommends/doesn't recommend I do something, I'm going to try to abide by it.
The alcohol thing really bothers me. If you drink while pregnant, I think you're selfish. I am a wine and beer lover and yeah, both have sounded great during this pregnancy. Am I going to have some? No. Even if research suggests a drink here and there is fine, you can't truly know the impact on the baby. There will likely be no impact from one drink, but why even risk it?
so i have basically been put under house arrest, i am not allowed to go out with DD without my mom or DH with me after having contractions on Wed. morning. i know it is better than being on bedrest (impossible with toddler) but it is going to be a very long month. i know it is best to take it easy and i don't have the energy to be out all day but to be told i have be home and resting and off of my feet as much as possible makes me feel like a prisoner.
and i am not looking to be flamed, i know it is best for me and LO, i am just being honest.
The issue is that there shouldn't be extra money. We shoudl be saving it. We just haven't planned well. i.e. We want to buy a new house. We're going to take a hit on this one when we sell it. Why am I not saving this money for THAT? I'm just awful. MH might be a good saver but a POOR PLANNER. We need to get it together
Yep. And I'm sure you dont use any cosmetics or body products with chemicals, or drive or ride in a car that could possibly crash, or any of another billion things that are potentially dangerous.
Oh, and not to mention that small amounts of alcohol might actually have BENEFITS.
God the level of ignorance in your attitude is just stunning.
i think the thing on FB right now where you put the number of weeks and what you're craving to raise awareness of breast cancer is DUMB. i am not against necessarily putting something in your status to raise awareness but this just seems needlessly confusing. Everyone is going to think you're pregnant if you do that and if you're already pregnant it's going to confuse people that your weeks are off. just seems like it will create unnecessary drama to me, more than raise awareness.
I actually am with kaydi on the booze thing. Love it, haven't touched it. While I don't judge those who imbibe, I am just kind of lost as to the point of it all. Half a glass of wine, really? The ratio of enjoyment to discomfort with it is way too off for me to even go there.
And I'll speak for myself and say we actually do eat all organic and local, so I guess I'm consistent at least.
On another point, I disagree with the concept that you don't read or watch the news because it's depressing. I think it's just an excuse to be lazy and disengaged with the world beyond your immediate environment. Bottom line, depressing or not, world events impact our daily lives, when it comes to environmental matters, the stock market, the future of our generation and the one we're creating at this very moment. I'm not a news junkie, but I have a basic hold on what is going on in the world, and it's not a huge time suck.
No, I don't. Like I said, I am far from perfect. I don't think we should live in a bubble. Is drinking a glass of wine less harmful than consuming a sh*tty diet full of processed foods full of HFCS and the like? Probably, but I'm not a doctor/nutritionist so what do I know. I just think it's fairly clear that one shouldn't drink while pregnant and it's something that can easily be avoided (whereas eating the diet you suggested may not be available to some due to cost, whatever).
Some responses to previous posts
1-I think the problem with Military spending is the same with other gov. agency's. My DH worked for Dept of Defense for about 10 years. They would waste money all the time because if they didn't spend the money their budget would get slashed. So they would buy new lap tops for people who already had basically new lap tops and buy fancy plaques, and other useless crap just their budget would not get lowered.
2-C-sections do not equal inadequacy! That is really offensive. It means medically you were not able to give birth vaginally for the health and welfare of you or your child. Just because you can push something out of a hole doesn't make you better!
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I'm always frustrated when a friend of mine says that she has no idea what's going on with the debt ceiling or Libya, or "what's the big deal with Geronimo Bay?" (true story) and she says these things with a touch of pride. I understand that the news CAN be depressing, but it's important to me to be an informed citizen of the world so that I can react, make decisions and feel prepared for life because these big issues do effect me. Ignorance is bliss until the big bad world pokes its head into your little bubble. I would rather see it coming.
Oh FFS, I'm ignorant and holier-than-thou because I don't think you should drink while pregnant? Okay then.
Interesting how you can say this and follow in the same breath with an opinion about nutrition/health.
And no, it's not 100% clear that drinking while pregnant is dangerous. That's the summary any doctor will give you: it hasn't been proven to be safe in a large replicable study (because it'd be irresponsible to do) so we can't tell you it's safe.
I have heard from a lot of military folks that they are happy about the proposed pension changes if it means that you will get a TSP match since you vest for that after 5 years (and you can take it with you)..so essentially you don't need to reitre in order to get it. I think they said something about the majority of people not retiring in the military so it would help out a lot more people.
However, I think it would be nice if the military could have access to the same same retirement plans I have as a federal employee. TSP with match and a pension that vests after 5 years. I think I heard the pension average pay out amounts were the same, so it shouldn't hurt people too badly if they stay in for 20 (or more years) and those that don't stay in longer than 5 would still have some type of pension (even though it is small). I just think it is strange that the systems are different since we are both federal employees essentially.
Of course, I also think that military members should have access to the same health benefits program that I have access too (where I can pick from 250 providers). But I have an enlisted friend that is going through hell with the military system right now so I am a bit biased.
I didn't mean to offend. What I said was it would make ME FEEL inadequate. Not that it would make me or any other woman inadequate. Feelings are feelings whether they be rational or irrational. I know intellectually that having a c-section would not make me inadequate in any way - I've built a little human being who (at least by all measures at this point) is healthy and that is a miracle. That in and of itself makes me feel like a rockstar.
I'm still allowed to feel inadequate if I can't at least try to deliver vaginally. Just as I would be allowed to feel inadequate if breastfeeding doesn't work for me. Just as I'm allowed to feel inadequate if I can't compete in my first triathlon 6 months after giving birth. These are goals of mine & if I don't/can't achieve them, I am allowed to FEEL inadequate. Feeling it doesn't make me it.
Holier-than-thou: If you drink while pregnant, I think you're selfish.
Ignorant: I just think it's fairly clear that one shouldn't drink while pregnant
I get irritated when people automatically judge a woman for not breast feeding. I have seen so many woman on TB and IRL who say "you're not even going to try?"
I tried to breast feed my first child and yeah, I gave up afer two weeks. I was weak and couldn't cut it. She was more content being formula fed and I wasn't as stressed out. I'm really tired of people judging that beause you choose not to breast feed you don't have your child's best interests at heart.
I have had 4 children and all have thrived and have not had any problems. I will also be exclusively formula feeding my new baby.
It bugs me that the US is sooo much more paranoid about drinking while pregnant than any other first world country. I think next pregnancy I'll move to France where I can drink wine and eat delicious soft cheese without being judged. https://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/oct/31/women-pregnancy-alchohol-birth-defects (I'm not saying one study should be the end of the discussion I just think its funny that Europeans look at us and wonder why we have our panties in a bunch about having a glass of wine when pregnant)
You're not alone
Are you suggesting that one can only have an opinion in topics/fields that they are specialists in and/or highly educated on? If so, 99% of the conversation on these boards (heck, in society) wouldn't exist. In any event, I am not claiming to be an expert nor am I saying that my opinion is the right one (medically speaking). But yeah, I think drinking while pregnant is selfish- if that's flameworthy, I can take the flames.
DH and I were at the beach yesterday with my friend, her sister, BIL, and 7 and 5 year old nephews. These boys were hysterical, one threatened to squirt me with his water gun, I told him if he did, I would bury him, so all day he told everyone "if I squirt Liz she's going to bury me". They were rough housing, falling all over each other, stepping on each others faces, packing sand down each others shorts... Then I would look down the beach and see a little girl calmly playing with a watering can. These boys were a blast, but all I could think the entire day was, 'thank god I'm having a girl!'
hahaha, touche.
I'm with you, everytime something bad happens or I'm in a bad mood, I don't eat, I shop! I couldn't handle it if DH told me I couldn't though... and I'd probably just start using my personal account that he doesn't have access too (although I do that with the more expensive things anyway)
I agree. I get the same comments. I shouldn't feel like I have to justify my choices to anyone. It's not like I'm telling them that I plan on doing something that will actually harm the baby, yet they make me feel like FF will harm her or I'm not going to be a good mom b/c we will only be FF her. They really need to get over themselves. FF kids are just as healthy as BF ones. If there was a real difference, pedis would not be as ok with FF-ing as they are.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
Oh this is me too! My mom is 1500 miles away but MIL passed away in March and I dare not say a word about wishing my mom was in CO.
You can miss both of them though
Like I stated in one of the earlier posts- I know there is literature/research out there that sets forth that a glass of wine here and there is fine (and while I didn't say this, I'm also aware that women in other cultures imbibe while pregnant).
You're right- having a glass of wine while pregnant is probably not that big of a deal- I'm not going to do it though.
I agree. Not only do I think it is inappropriate for people to ask me if I plan to breast feed but I find it offensive that they press me for reasons when I tell them "no." I always think I'll be quick enough to say something about it not being their business but I end up giving a polite and awkward response that makes me feel like I should be ashamed of myself.
Burned by the Bear
If it helps I get rude comments and I plan on breastfeeding. People tell me only low class trashy women breastfeed. . .
I know it is hard not to feel ashamed but just know the majority of the world is stupid and their opinion really shouldn't matter.