C-sections

C-Section Misconceptions

This is just a little mini-rant, but...

I hate how people seem to assume that you must "do" something in order to need a C-Section, like gain too much weight during pregnancy or be out-of-shape.

People always seem suprised that I had a C-Section because they "thought I was staying healthy during pregnancy" as if it is at all related.

My latest annoyance comes from a girl on facebook bragging that she gave birth to her baby completely naturally, with no drugs or surgery. Big whoop-dee-doo! She didn't avoid surgery because she was diligent- she just didn't happen to be unlucky when giving birth.

Do any of you get comments like this?

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Re: C-Section Misconceptions

  • Oh yes...I get comments like that.

    My son was 8lbs 6oz and ended up getting stuck in my birth canal after 3 hrs of pushing because he was too large for my pelvic area. Well.. my daughter was born via repeat c/s and weighed only 7lbs 8oz. Because she was a pound smaller than her brother, people rudely say "Couldn't you have just pushed her out?" or "You got robbed of a natural birth!"

    Ummm....no. I did what was best for my baby and my body-- now back off!

    I feel your pain. 

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  • My biggest pet peeve with c/s is that if you have one you didn't give birth.  I've had two c/s and not by my choice either time.  After my 1st c/s, my OWN MOTHER spent a year telling me that I didn't give birth.  The first time she said it was the day I brought my son home from the hospital.  After a year of listening to her, I finally told her to stop saying it. When she refused, I stopped talking to her (it wasn't the only reason, just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back).
  • I had an emergency c-section with my daughter because she was stuck and her heartrate was dropping drastically with every push.  She was 7 lbs, 12.5 oz.  I had a scheduled c-section with my son, and he was 6 lbs, 14 oz.  A few people commented about how I "should" have been able to push him out because he weighed less than her.  Oh, and I was also told by one "friend" that I had taken "the easy way out" both times by having c-sections.

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  • imageEmma53104:

    I had an emergency c-section with my daughter because she was stuck and her heartrate was dropping drastically with every push.  She was 7 lbs, 12.5 oz.  I had a scheduled c-section with my son, and he was 6 lbs, 14 oz.  A few people commented about how I "should" have been able to push him out because he weighed less than her.  Oh, and I was also told by one "friend" that I had taken "the easy way out" both times by having c-sections.


    Clearly your friend never had a c-section.  What a stupid thing to say....so getting your lower stomach sliced open throughs skin, muscle and other things is the "easy" way out?  I am not saying vaginal birth is easy either, but geez, at least you can somewhat move around after delivering vaginally (at least I think you can, I've never done it obviously)! I needed help doing everything for a few days. 

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  • I did have a friend make an off-hand comment when I told her that it took 5-6 days for my milk to come in that it was probably because I didn't give birth. I knew what she meant, but it still stung in the moment.

     

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  • Yes! I cannot stand comments like that! One of my friends asked me why I had the c-section, I told her I FTP and DS's heart rate kept dropping. Her comment, "Oh, well if you had an epidural that's probably why." Really? I am pretty d*mn sure millions of women get epidurals and push their babies out vaginally all the time. 

    I also have a friend who posts on FB all the time about having had her baby naturally. That's awesome but your'e not getting some sort of award for doing it, and I don't feel the need to tell people everyday how I gave birth so just shut the he!l up. 

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  • I'm a FTM and only two weeks out from having my C-section with DD and I am already fed up with comments about how I "cheated" or how I didn't give birth. I had one "friend" when she found out I was being induced (my DD was measuring really small and my ob felt like it was better to have her out than in. Plus I was 39 weeks 1 day...) told me that she was washing her hands of my pregnancy. LOL!!!!! THANK YOU! she's a dula and butted in the whole time I was pregnant. I was like, really? I'm only going to be pregnant for abother 36 hours and you just now are going to stop harassing me? And now, after I had a c-section, she refuses to talk to me. But you know what? When your ob comes in and says your baby will not survive labor (I was 1.5 cm dialated and she was already in distress everytime I had a contraction) the only thing to do is go in there and get her out! DH and I were not going to mess around with her safety or health. We did what was best for our DD and she is AMAZING! I love being her mom and it doesn't matter to me what way she came into this world. The only thing that matters is that she's SAFE and HERE!!!
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  • I was told I'm not allowed to say "I gave birth". It was literally like this. I said "yeah, when I gave birth to my son..." and she said "wait. You had a c/s. You didn't give birth. He was taken out of you." yeah. I know I didn't push him out. Thanks for reminding me because I completely forgot that fact.. I'm pretty sure that going from having an inside baby to having an outside baby is "giving birth" no matter how it happened.
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  • I had a frien who used to tell me all the time that I never went through labor or gave birth because I had a c-section and that I had no idea what giving birth was all about.   That I took the easy way out.

    I went through 24 hours of labor and did not dilate, so I ended up with a c-section.  I also had a bp of 200/110 when they did the c-section, so was at risk for a stroke and my son was in distress because of everything my body was going through and he was almost 10lbs when born. 

    She ended up having a c-section with her 2nd and now has a total different appreciation for what having a c-section is like. 

     I hate people who make comments about something they have never been through.  I certainly don't say things to woman who have had a vaginal birth since I have never experienced it.

     Bottom line is that the ultimate goal of giving birth, no matter how the baby arrives, is to have a healthy baby and mommy.

  • I really don't understand why people feel like having a c-section is inferior to a vaginal birth. It's just different. And I thank God every day that the option is there because I was in danger of dying by staying pregnant and longer, and consequently I could have lost my boys too. I had pre-e and had so much protein in my urine that the OB's were surprised I wasn't seizing right in front of them. I don't think most people WANT a c-section going into pregnancy, so why try to make us feel bad for NEEDING one to save ourselves and our children?

    And having a c-section is a method of giving birth. While I didn't experience LABOR (and will never say that I did), I did give birth to my boys. Perhaps less dramatically than laboring for days and pushing for hours, but I cooked them as long as I could and then they came into the world, so I completely feel like that is giving birth!

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  • Birth definition (there are various, this is straight to the point):

    The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother.

    So yes, I gave birth. No, I didn't not go through labor & "deliver" my babies.

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  • And I'm sorry but I don't see how major abdominal surgery where you are cut open and your insides are laid out for people to see, then having a dr play humpty dumpty and put everything back together again, THEN not being able to move a whole lot and being in screeching pain...is cheating. I just don't see it.
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  • I hate that I have to defend the fact that I had a c/s. I feel the need to give reasons and excuses about why I wasn't able to push my kids out. It's silly. I feel silly doing it. But without the explanation, you get lots of those looks like, "oh, it's because she's overweight," "are you just lazy?," "obviously you failed," etc. I hate that I have to say "Well it's not like I chose a c/s." What if I had? Does that make me less of a woman or a mom? No. 

    Overall, I hate the mompetition. From how you conceive to what you eat when you're pregnant to how you deliver to how you feed your baby it's all a huge ordeal. Why do we do this to each other?!

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  • I hate when moms get together and talk about their birth experiences, sharing all the details.  Then when someone asks me and I say I had a c-section, they all say "oh", and that's the end of my contribution.  Like there aren't any details to be told.  They just assume you get cut open, stitched up, and you're on your merry way.  Yes, I understand that 12+ hours of contractions is painful, and having your vag stitched up is not fun.  But having an 8 inch incision across your midsection is no picnic, and I would take 12+ hours of contractions over 6 weeks of healing anyday.  (Although I guess that's easy for me to say, since I have never experienced labour and delivery.)

    I planned on a med-free birth and ended up with a planned CS.  I spent months taking natural birth courses and researching anything and everything to ensure I had the birth I wanted.  And then someone I know had a natural birth, and she had never taken a course or even read a book about pregnancy!  She didn't know anything about labour and delivery, and still wound up with my ideal birth.  It was like a slap in the face.

     

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  • imagemama livingston:
    I'm a FTM and only two weeks out from having my C-section with DD and I am already fed up with comments about how I "cheated" or how I didn't give birth. I had one "friend" when she found out I was being induced (my DD was measuring really small and my ob felt like it was better to have her out than in. Plus I was 39 weeks 1 day...) told me that she was washing her hands of my pregnancy. LOL!!!!! THANK YOU! she's a dula and butted in the whole time I was pregnant. I was like, really? I'm only going to be pregnant for abother 36 hours and you just now are going to stop harassing me? And now, after I had a c-section, she refuses to talk to me. But you know what? When your ob comes in and says your baby will not survive labor (I was 1.5 cm dialated and she was already in distress everytime I had a contraction) the only thing to do is go in there and get her out! DH and I were not going to mess around with her safety or health. We did what was best for our DD and she is AMAZING! I love being her mom and it doesn't matter to me what way she came into this world. The only thing that matters is that she's SAFE and HERE!!!

    THIS!  (And your birth story sounds VERY much like mine!)

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  • imageEmma53104:

    I had an emergency c-section with my daughter because she was stuck and her heartrate was dropping drastically with every push.  She was 7 lbs, 12.5 oz.  I had a scheduled c-section with my son, and he was 6 lbs, 14 oz.  A few people commented about how I "should" have been able to push him out because he weighed less than her.  Oh, and I was also told by one "friend" that I had taken "the easy way out" both times by having c-sections.

    Oh I hear a lot of "easy way out" comments. The only ppl in my life that wouldn't dream of saying that are those that visited me in the hospital after my csec. I was white as a sheet and kept pressing a button on my IV that gave me more morphine. Just recently someone from work gave birth vaginally to twins. Everyone here kept saying how she did so great and didn't jump to surgery like some would with twins.
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  • I had ONE person talk some crap about how I "must wish I was able to give birth naturally".  My kid came out at ELEVEN POUNDS.  Well, 11lb, 2.6oz to be exact.  My c/s sucked, pressure and delirium wise, but my recovery was awesome and I didn't have to have a doctor sew my assh0le back in.

    So, no, I don't wish I gave birth "naturally".

    Luckily, that's the only comment I've gotten. And once I told that person that he was 11lb, she moved on pretty quickly.

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  • I had a middle aged friend go through this big flowery speech to me (an over the top individual) on how I didn't fail......I didn't know i was supposed to feel that i had......I had an induction at 37 weeks due to severe pre-E.   I was on pitocin for 22 hours but nothing changed.  We did the c-section due to absolutely no progress and my platelet count was dropping, liver enzymes elevating, etc.  When the doctor did the c-section her head wasn't even sitting on my cervix.  Due to my health we needed to get her out, so no i didn't fail, I wanted my daughter to have a mother........

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  • DD had her cord wrapped around her neck three times, which is what lead to my c/s. A family member tried to make me feel bad that I couldn't give birth naturally by telling me her friend was able to give birth to a boy with his cord wrapped around his neck twice. Every situation is different, but I couldn't convince her that this was the only option to get DD out of me safely.

    It also irks me when people make me feel like I failed at giving birth, but I have learned to brush it off. 

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  • My c/s misconception has to deal with cephalic disproportion and people telling me that I should have pushed harder or that my hips needed more time to "soften". Say wha??

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  • Yes
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  • imagePubStar09:

    I had ONE person talk some crap about how I "must wish I was able to give birth naturally".  My kid came out at ELEVEN POUNDS.  Well, 11lb, 2.6oz to be exact.  My c/s sucked, pressure and delirium wise, but my recovery was awesome and I didn't have to have a doctor sew my assh0le back in.

    So, no, I don't wish I gave birth "naturally".

    Luckily, that's the only comment I've gotten. And once I told that person that he was 11lb, she moved on pretty quickly.

    Yes

    (forgot to quote )

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  • I think for me, I have a hard time b/c I was planning on birthing at a birth center.  I went through 12 hours of labor and pushed for 6 until the baby and I were both distressed and transferred for an emergency c/s.  Anyway, I still go to the weekly breastfeeding meetings at the birth center.  The women typically talk about their wonderful birth experience and then ask me about mine.  I usually just respond with "I was transferred for an emergency c-section."  The usual response is "oh" and then they move on to the next one.

    I hate when I hear pro-natural birthers judging c/s moms and saying things like how uneducated we are.  Um no, I am completely educated and tried everything possible to get the birth I wanted.  DD just had other plans.

  • imagemarlynandchris:

    I think for me, I have a hard time b/c I was planning on birthing at a birth center.  I went through 12 hours of labor and pushed for 6 until the baby and I were both distressed and transferred for an emergency c/s.  Anyway, I still go to the weekly breastfeeding meetings at the birth center.  The women typically talk about their wonderful birth experience and then ask me about mine.  I usually just respond with "I was transferred for an emergency c-section."  The usual response is "oh" and then they move on to the next one.

    I hate when I hear pro-natural birthers judging c/s moms and saying things like how uneducated we are.  Um no, I am completely educated and tried everything possible to get the birth I wanted.  DD just had other plans.

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  • imagemarlynandchris:

    I think for me, I have a hard time b/c I was planning on birthing at a birth center.  I went through 12 hours of labor and pushed for 6 until the baby and I were both distressed and transferred for an emergency c/s.  Anyway, I still go to the weekly breastfeeding meetings at the birth center.  The women typically talk about their wonderful birth experience and then ask me about mine.  I usually just respond with "I was transferred for an emergency c-section."  The usual response is "oh" and then they move on to the next one.

    I hate when I hear pro-natural birthers judging c/s moms and saying things like how uneducated we are.  Um no, I am completely educated and tried everything possible to get the birth I wanted.  DD just had other plans.

    OMG! Yes! I totally got flamed on the Natural Birth board for saying something about my c-section. I was pretty much told that "uneducated mothers lead to unplanned c-sections." I then proceeded to tell them that comments like that make them look ignorant and I would rather have my baby via c-section then be apart of a ground like that any day. Obviously I know not all med-free birthers think like that, but over on that board there are quite I few, I was surprised. 

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  • imagemarlynandchris:

    I think for me, I have a hard time b/c I was planning on birthing at a birth center.  I went through 12 hours of labor and pushed for 6 until the baby and I were both distressed and transferred for an emergency c/s.  Anyway, I still go to the weekly breastfeeding meetings at the birth center.  The women typically talk about their wonderful birth experience and then ask me about mine.  I usually just respond with "I was transferred for an emergency c-section."  The usual response is "oh" and then they move on to the next one.

    I hate when I hear pro-natural birthers judging c/s moms and saying things like how uneducated we are.  Um no, I am completely educated and tried everything possible to get the birth I wanted.  DD just had other plans.

    This is my big one. And I wouldn't say this is just pro-natural birthers. I feel like it is more than that. ANY time there is a "planned c/s" discussion on here, everyone swoops in and "informs" the poster that she is a) uneducated b) has a bad Dr. and needs to find a new one c) not advocating for herself or her baby d) is the reason healthcare costs/infant mortality/insurance premiums are so high e) is naive.

    I'll stop there.

     

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  • I don't get the "you didn't have a real birth" comments, but I have received "I feel sorry that you had to have a c/s" comments. I always wonder why they feel sorry? They would feel just as sorry, if not worse, if DD had died during labor. I studied my a** off looking up natural birthing classes. I painstakingly read books, articles, and blogs about natural birth. Never once did a c/s pop into my head. I wish it did. I would have been better prepared to accept my fate. I cried when the doctor said "get her prepped." 

    A c/s isn't the easy way out, it is the hardest way out. I would love for anyone to tell me how easy it is to sit on that table and hear your baby cry and not be able to see her for an hour or even hold her. I want to hear how easy it is to be alone on the table while SO or DH is with your baby so they aren't alone. Or how about knowing you are being cut open and you are praying with every ounce in your body your baby makes it out safely after the scare that happened in the laboring room. C/S will never be the easy way out. Just because I didn't push my baby out of a hole in my vag, doesn't mean it was easy. Mentally and physically it isn't easy. 

    I still have regrets from my delivery and horrible feelings from it. I am sure that if I had a regular birth, I wouldn't have them. The selfish side of me hates that I can't wear my cute bathing suit because you can see my scar, the big bright purple scar. 

    Sorry this turned into a semi-vent. I had a horrible birth experience and it was no ones fault, not even my own. I have a new respect for moms who have/will had c/s.  

  • My 350lb friend gave birth to a 10lb baby and had no drugs whatsoever. Her labor was like 4 hours. I hate when people don't realize that a lot of natural birth is just about luck and circumstance. Get a baby with their head tilted a couple inches and you might end up in a c-section when the second baby could come shooting out if it is well-positioned. People are stupid. 
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  • I am sick of being told I don't know what "real" contractions feel like.  I had to have my water broke to start labor, since I was almost 6 cm dilated, and not in steady labor, then had a csection because she was breech.


    If I was almost 6 cm, I am pretty sure I know what a contraction feels like.  I was in prodrominal labor for a month.

  • It really makes me sad that people are being so negative and just down right mean to momma's who've had c-sections.  I personally have never had anyone make negative comments towards me for having a c-section.  I am so sorry that ya'll are being put through all this unnecesssary judgment.  For the record,  my DD was breech.  I found out at 36 weeks and went into labor ecxactly a week later. 
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  • I was in early labor for a month. Dialated to 1&1/2 and was having contractions.Then one night woke up to my water breaking(dramatically like in a movie). Got to the hospital and dialated to 10 seven hours later. Pushed for three hours and couldn't get my son out. His head was slightly turned and he weighed 9 pounds! The first thing outta my mouth after my C-Section: "YAY FOR STILL TIGHT VAGINAS!". Lol. (no offense to those who delivered vaginally).
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  • The best is when people say..."you had a c-section!  you are so lucky!  At least your vagina isn't ruined"

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  • lol yeh, some women want a "vagina award" since they delivered vaginally. It's so obnoxious. I should post this email i was got from someone describing her "natural birth". It almost made me barf...and not from my csection drugs. :)
  • imageSunnyface5:
    lol yeh, some women want a "vagina award" since they delivered vaginally. It's so obnoxious. I should post this email i was got from someone describing her "natural birth". It almost made me barf...and not from my csection drugs. :)

    See, I don't have any problem with other people being happy with their birth experience. Awesome for them! As long as they don't criticize mine, we're cool. I don't think women should have to act like they aren't happy with their experience or  not be proud of themselves for going med-free just because someone who had a c/s might be offended.

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  • imagebyrne15:

    The best is when people say..."you had a c-section!  you are so lucky!  At least your vagina isn't ruined"

    I hate that. Sex still hurts sometimes.

  • I don't get those comments, because I think people assume twins = c-section.  Anyone who thinks the way that you describe is just ignorant and needs to get off their high horse.  The most important thing in the end is a healthy mom and baby.  While yes, the c-section rate is high, sometimes it can not be avoided.  Those documentaries like The Business of Being Born, that make a c-section out to be the worst possible thing and that somehow it disrupts the normal bonding between mom and baby.  I say BS about that.
  • First, I just want to say I love this board and am so glad that I discovered it!

    I didn't get many comments after DD1 was born as she looked huge - 8 lbs 12 oz, 21.5 inches - and I'm petite - 5', 120lbs.  So I think people just assumed that I had a c/s b/c she was so big.  In reality I stalled at 9 - even after being on pit for 2+ hours.  It also didn't help that she was sunny side up and stuck in my pelvis.  The Dr had to push her back up out of my pelvis in order to get her out through the incision.  Although I did have one woman on an internet message board tell me that I shouldn't have just let my doctor make that decision for me and that he forced me to have a c/s.  I kindly told her that I trusted my dr with the health and safety of my daughter and myself - and since we were both still alive and kicking, I was happy with the outcome and that's all that mattered to me. 

    DD2 was born at 33 wk 5 d and was immediately rushed to the NICU, where she stayed for 23 days, so I did not get any comments after that either.  However, before she was born, I did get comments b/c I was planning on having a scheduled c/s (and had actually already scheduled it, but she had other plans).  After doing the research and talking with a trusted family friend (who was a L&D for 30+ yrs) I felt that it was the best option for me and DD2.  I'd experienced hard labor with DD1 and was looking forward to not doing that again.  And honestly, with everything that was happening with the PTL, it was actually calming in a weird way to go through the c/s again.  It was the only thing that happening that I knew what was going on/what to expect. 

     This time, I am praying for a scheduled c/s, but these twins might have other plans. 

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  • I am horrified at some of the comments that some of the PP's have gotten!  No one has said anything negative to me at all about having a c/s.  It would get real ugly real quick if anyone did.  BUT I had about all our extended family and friends in the waiting room during the 18 hours I was in labor and the nearly 4 that I pushed for.  I was wheeled right by them to surgeryTongue Tied.  If anything everyone is horrified by how long and drawn out my DD's birth was.  So I'm the girl with the horrifying birth experience, which sucks, too.
  • Yes. I still feel like my body failed me! I did everything right and it was out of my control.
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  • Wow, I can't believe some of the things people say. I'm glad I didn't get any negative feedback irl. My mom had 3 c-sections and my sister had one so no one really saw it as a big deal.I also had a ton of friends who had been through it which was nice as they had so much good advice and were so supportive.

    I did have one friend (super crunchy) who kept telling me all of these things I should be doing to get the baby to turn. Near the end I told her I needed to stop trying to control the outcome and relax and enjoy my last few days of being pregnant. She backed off and after I had him she congratulated me and told me I was a warrior for giving birth 4 times. I love her so much for that.

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