FUUUCK. I am so, so sorry. I don't know why this happens but I do know one thing and that's the LAST thing you should do is blame yourself for ANY of it. Even the people that worry the most have this happen to them. It all fuucking sucks. I am incredibly sorry.
Oh no. Fvck no. Dip, I am so, so sorry. ((BIG HUGE HUGS)) This is just so sad. Please let me know if I can do anything.
TTC #1 Dx: severe MFI
IVF with ICSI #1: BFP
TESE for DH 08/09/09
ER 08/09/09; ET 08/14/09; Beta #1 08/23/09: 150; Beta #2 08/25/09: 267
TTC #2: FET #1: BFP
ET 06/16/11; Beta #1 06/25/11: 282; Beta #2 06/27/11: 777
First u/s: Twins! Baby A stopped growing @ 9 weeks, forever in our hearts
TTC #3: FET #2: c/p lost at 4 weeks
I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I am so sorry, Dip. We love you and are here for you. Please don't blame yourself. You did everything right. (((huge hugs)))
TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
Oh Dip! I am so sorry! You did everything you could to make sure ADP was safe in there, you CANNOT blame yourself. I wish I could do something to help, stupid opposite coasts.
Oh and I wanted to add something ... our RE recommended a D&C with chromosomal testing. He said it was our only way to have some answers. It also would give us an indication of whether or not we had some major genetic issue we didn't know about.
I knew, for me, I couldn't handle letting nature take it's course or having to pass anything. I just knew I wanted to wake up and have it over with ...
I'm just so sorry you're in this position ... I wish you nothing but comfort as you move through the process.
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8
fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2
beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty
Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole,
yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
Dip I am SO sorry...my heart breaks for you. You did absolutely NOTHING wrong so please don't blame yourself. Take care of yourself and know that we are all here for you. (((HUGS))) a million times over.
Oh my God, no. I don't even have strong enough words for how sorry I am to read this. This is so unfair I think I might scream. Please don't blame yourself - there is nothing you could have done. lots and lots of (((hugs)))
I am so sorry. Don't blame yourself, you deserved to enjoy that time. But it does just make it hurt that much more. Sadly, there truly is not a safe zone.
TTK 9/06 / TTC 10/08 / Twins 12/11 / Life Blog 5 REs + 3 surgical hysteroscopies for septum/lap + 3 failed IUIs IVF w/ICSI/AH & acu = BFP!, unexplained spontaneous m/c @ 8w2d (our little girl), FET w/acu = BFP!, B/G twins!, lost MP @19w, dx w/funneling cervix @20w, twins nearly lost to IC @21w, saved by rescue cerclage, 17P & 16w of bedrest Our twins born @36w4d via CS when A came foot first
oh my God no Dip....i'm so sorry. i'm heartbroken for you. you did nothing wrong, do not blame yourself, there was no way to prepare for this. Dip i am so so sorry. please let me know if there's anything i can do for you.
I'm a lurker, who enjoys your blog, too. I'm so, so sorry. It's not fair.
TTC #1 since June 2010
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
I am so sorry Dip, there aren't words to express the heartbreak I am feeling for you. I so enjoy following you and your blog and wanted you to know I am thinking about you.
Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart! #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14 M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
I was really hoping this would be the one for you. So sorry! I wish I had a magic wand so I could change things for you.
dd(Brianna) 11/01/94, ds(Bram)10/17/95, ds(Jesse)9/26/97, dd (Annie Ruth) 7/27/05
5mc Jan '08, May '08, Feb '09, Sept '09, Apr '11
"And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up." - Charles Dickens
Re: Husband is getting me some wine now
IVF with ICSI #1: BFP
TESE for DH 08/09/09
ER 08/09/09; ET 08/14/09; Beta #1 08/23/09: 150; Beta #2 08/25/09: 267
TTC #2: FET #1: BFP
ET 06/16/11; Beta #1 06/25/11: 282; Beta #2 06/27/11: 777
First u/s: Twins! Baby A stopped growing @ 9 weeks, forever in our hearts
TTC #3: FET #2: c/p lost at 4 weeks
Oh Dip, my heart is just breaking for you.
I just don't know what to say, except do NOT blame yourself. You took care of yourself the best you could.
(((((HUGS)))))
wait wait wait.
WTF? I couldn't have possibly read that. I am so so so so sorry, and sending you the biggest e-HUGS ever.
And don't ever blame yourself. Ever.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
This fuucking sucks.. so so so sorry Dip
look at the birds | bless this food
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
Oh Dip! I am so sorry! You did everything you could to make sure ADP was safe in there, you CANNOT blame yourself. I wish I could do something to help, stupid opposite coasts.
Oh and I wanted to add something ... our RE recommended a D&C with chromosomal testing. He said it was our only way to have some answers. It also would give us an indication of whether or not we had some major genetic issue we didn't know about.
I knew, for me, I couldn't handle letting nature take it's course or having to pass anything. I just knew I wanted to wake up and have it over with ...
I'm just so sorry you're in this position ... I wish you nothing but comfort as you move through the process.
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
DD1: allergic to eggs & dairy
c/p 4/1/11
DD2: milk and soy protein intolerant, allergic to eggs, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, bananas
MSPI Moms Check-In Blog
I am throwing rocks at the universe right now and screaming. {{{Hugs}}}
Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
My TTC/PG blog / Panda Phenomenon Explained
TTC #2 since June '08
~*DD 10.21.07*~
dx unexplained
IUI #1-4 BFN
IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2011
Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
EDD 8/25
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
what the fuucking fuuck? mother fuucking god damnit.
i fuucking hate this.
i wish i was there to give you huge ((hugs)). i love you so much. i'm so sorry.
5 REs + 3 surgical hysteroscopies for septum/lap + 3 failed IUIs
IVF w/ICSI/AH & acu = BFP!, unexplained spontaneous m/c @ 8w2d (our little girl),
FET w/acu = BFP!, B/G twins!, lost MP @19w, dx w/funneling cervix @20w,
twins nearly lost to IC @21w, saved by rescue cerclage, 17P & 16w of bedrest
Our twins born @36w4d via CS when A came foot first
Thankful for every day
oh my God no Dip....i'm so sorry. i'm heartbroken for you. you did nothing wrong, do not blame yourself, there was no way to prepare for this. Dip i am so so sorry. please let me know if there's anything i can do for you.
love,
buena
I'm a dirty lurker but I just had to say I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
Dip no. No, no, no. I don't even know what else to say other than I am just so so sorry. And like everyone else said - please do NOT blame yourself.
I'm so sorry...
My first haircut!
Severe MFI - on to IVF w/ ICSI
IVF#1-2: BFN
IVF#3: BFP! - 1/24: ET - 5d - 2 blasts - 2/02: Beta #1: 16.2 ...... 2/04: Beta #2: 35 ...... 2/09: Beta #3: 401.5 - I'm pregnant! - 2/13: u/s #1 - baby boy, due 10/12, born 10/16! ...... 8 lbs 0 oz, 22 inches!
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
Blog BFP Chart
Dip, I wish I could give you a big hug and had something to say other than, I'm sorry
This is fuucking unfair.
After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.
Another lurker coming out...
I am so sorry Dip, there aren't words to express the heartbreak I am feeling for you. I so enjoy following you and your blog and wanted you to know I am thinking about you.
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
DX Hypothyroid,Prolactinoma, Annovulatory Cycles, Celiac, Lichen,IBS, Severe Allergies ETC>>
M/C 1/2011
May 2011 Clomid 50mg +Ovidrel-BFN
June 2011 HSG, DH SA Both Normal
Sept 2011 C/P
Sep 2011 IUI w/Frozen Sperm, progesterone therapy
TTC #1 - May 2010 - IUI #3: BFP
TTC #2 - May 2012 -IUI #2: BFP
PAL/PGAL Welcome