Baby Blues tips?

Peppernut · August 2011

I'm having a rough time, emotionally, with the two sweet little girls. Does anyone have any practical tips for dealing with the hormone storm, and keeping it from blossoming into full-on PPD? Nights are not so bad, Millie sleeps well between feedings, but mornings are killing me. Margaux wants to play, I need to get her fed,dressed and entertained, and 8-12 is when Millie cluster-feeds and cries if I put her down. Don't even talk to me about the state of the house, I've already let that go.

Suggestions?

atesta1205 · August 2011

have you tried one of those wrap things for the baby during the 8-12 where she can be close to you and you have your hands free to deal with your other one. To me that might come in handy and easy for her to feed when she wants too as well.

Peppernut · August 2011

I've got a moby, a ring sling and an ergo. It's too hot (even inside) for the moby and the ergo, but I haven't got the hang of feeling secure in the ring sling yet. I haven't got the hang of feeding the baby hands-free in a carrier, either. I've got too much boobage, and I am afraid the poor girl will smother. Good thinking, though, I'll try using them more. I get overwhelmed and babywearing just seems like too much.

bridgeybride · August 2011

Oh.. Amy.. been wondering how you've been doing. I hear ya... that's my toughest time of day, too.. when I want to go back to sleep, but can't!

I second the baby wearing.. I use my sling for now. Also.. I let B stay in her pjs (a onesie) until about noon.. after she eats lunch (she gets it all over herself anyway).. and then put her in clothes (at about which time I shower and get out of my pjs too.) and try to get out for a walk at some point in afternoon.

The entertaining part.. maybe put baby on a boppy or pillow close to you.. you have one hand free to read books with Margaux... I have also put on Sesame Street at that hour.. and Nick Jr. I know it is not the best (remember I'm a teacher!!) and feel so conflicted about doing it knowing it isn't good, but I was exhausted last week and fell asleep on the couch. B woke me up.. smiling in my face thinking it was funny... but she was content to sit and watch Elmo for an hour or so.

As for your emotions.. I had a bit of the baby blues last time with B (was winter.. traumatic birth.. painful and unsuccessful BFing... ).. I went to a therapist for a few weeks.. if you can't do that.. maybe just TALK to people (on the Bump.. I think there is a PPD board).. just know that you'll get through it... TALK to Rom... talk to your sisters.. friends.. whomever you feel comfortable.. That's what helped me.. knowing I wasn't alone and talking about my feelings. I didn't bond with B for a month or so... and felt awful about it.. like something was wrong with me.

Hang in there.. and keep up posted!!

Piranha54 · August 2011

Amy - HUGS! No real tips, but will say that all my friends with 2+ kiddos are the ones that swear by the ring/maya wraps. Have you tried EASY with Millie? I know feeding on demand is the name of the game, but maybe that will help her ease out of the massive sounding cluster feedings. Can Rom get Margaux breakfast and dressed in the morning - they can have a little special daddy daughter time and also give you a bit of a break.

BrideBuddies · August 2011

Big hugs, peppa!

My friend has a 2 month old and is dealing with all of this as well... plus they have the crazy notion to move to Florida for better job prospects. So they just put their house on the market and are trying to pack, etc. Insane.

Even though she's overwhelmingly swamped, I've made her come out to the park with me a few times just to get a breath of air and some sunshine. It helps.

Can you pack up the girlies and go for a walk around the block??

SFAug07 · August 2011

So sorry you are having a hard time! I don't have any first hand experience but one of my friends who has a 2-year old just had a baby too. I talked with her about how it is and she said what really helps her is getting less isolated going out to the playground with the baby in a carrier and the toddler. She wears the baby all the time and he seems to be sleeping quite well in there, even with the toddlers screaming around. She also said it's helpful to know this is their last one - I know you might not be done after this one, but she said it helps hang in there to have an end in sight. Hugs!!!

leffe1 · August 2011

Hugs Amy! I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Piranha54 · August 2011

What about bringing back those cleaning gals - then you wouldn't have to look at the mess at least. And tagging on to BrideBuddies - does your local hospital or where you delivered have a breast feeding support group? Ours did and it was wonderful to see other moms that were going through the same stuff - even if the BFing was going great. Ours was also held in a community play room, so there was fun stuff to play with for older sibs.

newbee36 · August 2011

Oh pepper. No tips here, just wanted to give you a hug. Hope you find a solution how to feel better soon though.

SugarChick10 · August 2011

I don't have any tips either, but I have another hug for you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

Pesky · August 2011

Left Hug Can I be the awful parent here and suggest maybe this is a good time of day for M's tv watching and Elmo marathon? The DVDs can last a bit longer. While she is watching, you can lay out a snack for her and move her to eating. While she is eating, you can put out a water play table and she can play there or sidewalk chalk and you can sit and watch her. Also consider an outing to a park with tot friendly stuff or sand box. She can play, you can sit and BF and the sunshine and fresh air will do wonders for you both.

stever · August 2011

No advice, but great big hugs for you, Amy.

ateytelb · August 2011

Even though I had more help than you do now, I felt somewhat similar last fall and winter. BFing didn't work out with neither of my two younger kids, and I felt inadequate and depressed. The fact that it was wintertime and we could't get out of the house added up to my misery. I didn't do any housework though, so could you pay someone temporarily to clean and do other work around the house? I know it's expensive, but that would be a good investment! You can also keep the baby in the carseat for a few hours during the day, and follow your older one around the house while carrying the carseat or putting it on the base with wheels. You can put the carseat down and rock the baby while reading to the older one or doing something else with her. Also, when my BFing did work for a couple of weeks in the very beginning, I really liked My Breast Friend as opposed to Boppy. You can buckle and wear MBF and quickly put the baby on it when you need to. Also, get your H to help you with the older one evenings and nights. Unless his work is such that he may accidentally kill someone if he is tired, he should get up at night when the older one needs to be attended to.

ScoobyM · August 2011

Hi Peppernut, and congratulations on Millie's birth!!

When Noah was first born, I have to admit, the thing that made it all do-able for me was that my mom was here the first 3 weeks and I still had my nanny coming to look after Ellie during the day, even though I was on mat leave. She kept Ellie busy and entertained and I spent most of my time with Noah stuck on my boob or sleeping while he napped. So I guess my best advice is maybe have a friend or relative come to keep you company and help you with Margaux. It made me much more relaxed to have my mom to talk to during marathon nursing sessions, and it was also way easier to just sit and read or watch TV while nursing when there was someone there to spend time and give attention to Ellie. Trying to look after them both at the same time was the most stressful thing for me.

Good luck, I hope things settle down for you soon!!

Peppernut · August 2011

Thanks, guys!

We do have the maids come once every two weeks, so the house won't get too far behind. There are good days and bad days, and the biggest strain is being stuck on a chair breastfeeding while Margaux wants my attention. The guilt is nasty, too. I know it'll clear up once we get a routine established, it's just the steep learning curve... I swear, I can't imagine dealing with a toddler and new TWINS.

Rom's on PPD watch, so I know he'll make sure I get help if I start to get really down.

Oh, and we've totally been watching tv. I think I have all the "Word World" episodes memorized. ><

Maggee206 · August 2011

Congrats on the new arrival. I had #2 back in March and the blues were much worse with number 2 (something the nurse at the hospital misled me about). Is DD1 old enough to watch TV? I know TV is not everyone's favorite option but it does buy you 30 to 60 minutes. For cluster feedings I read my oldest lots of books while I nursed.

Good luck! It WILL get better.

Jaytee501 · August 2011

I have to interject...I didn't see that you'd had your baby! Congratulations, Pepper, and another gorgeous name

I am useless with advice, just winging it day-to-day with my one three month old, but I hope you and the girls will all be well.

carladillon · August 2011

No real advice since I only have one - but I remember feeling depressed at first with D and everyone told me to get outside, when all I wanted to do was stay inside and sleep. I second wearing Millie as much as you can/are comfortable with. I wish I had worn D more when she was small - it would have made me feel less of a prisoner and allowed me to be more productive.

Other than that....just take it day by day, hour by hour if you have to. I remember you EP M - are you directly nursing Millie right now?

::HUGS::

Peppernut · August 2011

Yep, Carla, we're nursing the old-fashioned way. I'll probably blend it with some pumping after the newborn period is over. Margaux had trouble nursing because she'd get so tired and pass out before she was really done, and the doctors wanted to know how much she was actually eating... Millie's got no health issues so we're going straight-up nursing. I admit, right now I do not love it, but friends have assured me that will change once the baby both gets more efficient and doesn't need to feed so often.

I feel guilty, too. The pregnancy was super-easy, the birth was almost exactly what I expected - fast and also pretty easy, the baby is healthy, Margaux is adjusting pretty well, everything *should* be roses and snowflakes. I'm tired and needy and behind and a little resentful toward Rom, and on top of that I know I have it *EASY.*

Sigh. It'll get better. I know it will.

dianah36 · August 2011

Congratulations!!!

I could have written your post two months ago. Here's my honest truth - the first 6-8 weeks with a new baby and toddler really blow. I had major baby blues the first 2 weeks and then thankfully it lifted. I was trapped on the couch most days BF Gisele while constantly saying, "no Raquel, don't touch that, don't do that", etc. I had such horrible guilt that I had ruined Raquels life and was basically ignoring her. It was also really hot so it made the whole baby wearing thing nearly impossible. On nights that my husband wasn't home I asked my sister to come over and help through the bedtime process. Other than that I just tried to power though and get through the day. I will admit Raquel went from watching almost no tv to watching too much tv. But it won't kill her and it's only temporary. We're at the 2.5 month mark and things are MUCH better. It's still a PITA to take both out at the same time but the day is so much better when we get out. Glad to hear DH is on the PPD watch...had it with my first and it's no fun.

Keep going...it gets easier. And I'm already sad at how quickly Gisele is growing. Try and enjoy it before it becomes a blur!

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