Parenting after 35
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Baby Blues tips?
I'm having a rough time, emotionally, with the two sweet little girls. Does anyone have any practical tips for dealing with the hormone storm, and keeping it from blossoming into full-on PPD? Nights are not so bad, Millie sleeps well between feedings, but mornings are killing me. Margaux wants to play, I need to get her fed,dressed and entertained, and 8-12 is when Millie cluster-feeds and cries if I put her down. Don't even talk to me about the state of the house, I've already let that go.
Suggestions?
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
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Re: Baby Blues tips?
Oh.. Amy.. been wondering how you've been doing. I hear ya... that's my toughest time of day, too.. when I want to go back to sleep, but can't!
I second the baby wearing.. I use my sling for now. Also.. I let B stay in her pjs (a onesie) until about noon.. after she eats lunch (she gets it all over herself anyway).. and then put her in clothes (at about which time I shower and get out of my pjs too.) and try to get out for a walk at some point in afternoon.
The entertaining part.. maybe put baby on a boppy or pillow close to you.. you have one hand free to read books with Margaux... I have also put on Sesame Street at that hour.. and Nick Jr. I know it is not the best (remember I'm a teacher!!) and feel so conflicted about doing it knowing it isn't good, but I was exhausted last week and fell asleep on the couch. B woke me up.. smiling in my face thinking it was funny... but she was content to sit and watch Elmo for an hour or so.
As for your emotions.. I had a bit of the baby blues last time with B (was winter.. traumatic birth.. painful and unsuccessful BFing... ).. I went to a therapist for a few weeks.. if you can't do that.. maybe just TALK to people (on the Bump.. I think there is a PPD board).. just know that you'll get through it... TALK to Rom... talk to your sisters.. friends.. whomever you feel comfortable.. That's what helped me.. knowing I wasn't alone and talking about my feelings. I didn't bond with B for a month or so... and felt awful about it.. like something was wrong with me.
Hang in there.. and keep up posted!!
Big hugs, peppa!
My friend has a 2 month old and is dealing with all of this as well... plus they have the crazy notion to move to Florida for better job prospects. So they just put their house on the market and are trying to pack, etc. Insane.
Even though she's overwhelmingly swamped, I've made her come out to the park with me a few times just to get a breath of air and some sunshine. It helps.
Can you pack up the girlies and go for a walk around the block??
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
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Hi Peppernut, and congratulations on Millie's birth!!
When Noah was first born, I have to admit, the thing that made it all do-able for me was that my mom was here the first 3 weeks and I still had my nanny coming to look after Ellie during the day, even though I was on mat leave. She kept Ellie busy and entertained and I spent most of my time with Noah stuck on my boob or sleeping while he napped. So I guess my best advice is maybe have a friend or relative come to keep you company and help you with Margaux. It made me much more relaxed to have my mom to talk to during marathon nursing sessions, and it was also way easier to just sit and read or watch TV while nursing when there was someone there to spend time and give attention to Ellie. Trying to look after them both at the same time was the most stressful thing for me.
Good luck, I hope things settle down for you soon!!
Thanks, guys!
We do have the maids come once every two weeks, so the house won't get too far behind. There are good days and bad days, and the biggest strain is being stuck on a chair breastfeeding while Margaux wants my attention. The guilt is nasty, too. I know it'll clear up once we get a routine established, it's just the steep learning curve... I swear, I can't imagine dealing with a toddler and new TWINS.
Rom's on PPD watch, so I know he'll make sure I get help if I start to get really down.
Oh, and we've totally been watching tv. I think I have all the "Word World" episodes memorized. ><
Congrats on the new arrival. I had #2 back in March and the blues were much worse with number 2 (something the nurse at the hospital misled me about). Is DD1 old enough to watch TV? I know TV is not everyone's favorite option but it does buy you 30 to 60 minutes. For cluster feedings I read my oldest lots of books while I nursed.
Good luck! It WILL get better.
I have to interject...I didn't see that you'd had your baby! Congratulations, Pepper, and another gorgeous name
I am useless with advice, just winging it day-to-day with my one three month old, but I hope you and the girls will all be well.
"5.01.09"
No real advice since I only have one - but I remember feeling depressed at first with D and everyone told me to get outside, when all I wanted to do was stay inside and sleep. I second wearing Millie as much as you can/are comfortable with. I wish I had worn D more when she was small - it would have made me feel less of a prisoner and allowed me to be more productive.
Other than that....just take it day by day, hour by hour if you have to. I remember you EP M - are you directly nursing Millie right now?
::HUGS::
Yep, Carla, we're nursing the old-fashioned way. I'll probably blend it with some pumping after the newborn period is over. Margaux had trouble nursing because she'd get so tired and pass out before she was really done, and the doctors wanted to know how much she was actually eating... Millie's got no health issues so we're going straight-up nursing. I admit, right now I do not love it, but friends have assured me that will change once the baby both gets more efficient and doesn't need to feed so often.
I feel guilty, too. The pregnancy was super-easy, the birth was almost exactly what I expected - fast and also pretty easy, the baby is healthy, Margaux is adjusting pretty well, everything *should* be roses and snowflakes. I'm tired and needy and behind and a little resentful toward Rom, and on top of that I know I have it *EASY.*
Sigh. It'll get better. I know it will.
Congratulations!!!
I could have written your post two months ago. Here's my honest truth - the first 6-8 weeks with a new baby and toddler really blow. I had major baby blues the first 2 weeks and then thankfully it lifted. I was trapped on the couch most days BF Gisele while constantly saying, "no Raquel, don't touch that, don't do that", etc. I had such horrible guilt that I had ruined Raquels life and was basically ignoring her. It was also really hot so it made the whole baby wearing thing nearly impossible. On nights that my husband wasn't home I asked my sister to come over and help through the bedtime process. Other than that I just tried to power though and get through the day. I will admit Raquel went from watching almost no tv to watching too much tv. But it won't kill her and it's only temporary. We're at the 2.5 month mark and things are MUCH better. It's still a PITA to take both out at the same time but the day is so much better when we get out. Glad to hear DH is on the PPD watch...had it with my first and it's no fun.
Keep going...it gets easier. And I'm already sad at how quickly Gisele is growing. Try and enjoy it before it becomes a blur!