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December 2011 Moms
kylayton
member
How old is too old to BF?
kylayton
member
Another post on TB got me thinking...in your opinion, how old is too old to breast feed? I know some people have very strong opinions about this. I personally plan to stop around 6 months and definitely by 12 months.
P.S. Check this out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74 "It's better than 10 melons!"
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Re: How old is too old to BF?
I'd like to stop breastfeeding sometime between 6-8 months, but of course little man could have other plans....
My 2 December boys
My goal is to make it to two months, and if that goes well I'll try for six.
IMO, I wouldn't breastfeed past one year.
BFP #2: 8.31.16 Dx w/ GD @ 28w DD Born @ 36w: 4.21.17
I agree. Breastfeeding should not be a memory! lol.
18 months worked well for me & DD, but I couldn't care less what other people do! It is most definitely a personal decision.
Didn't this exact same post happen a couple of days ago?
Well, as the person who (re-)started this topic, I guess (it was a discussion this weekend as well), I'll say I BFed DD for 21 months and I would have had no problem doing it longer; I just had to wean her because I needed to leave her for a week. So...
BTW, every single time this topic has come up on TB/TN that I've seen, that YouTube video gets posted (I've been around on and off for a while and it was uploaded when I was pg with DD, who's almost four). I am not saying I would BF an eight-year-old, but it's a very extreme example of extended BFing and I don't want to impose an arbitrary upper age limit on nursing when, in my experience, you don't really know how the BFing relationship will turn out until you get there.
Oops! Sorry. I rarely get on over the weekends so I missed the post. Please excuse!
My goal is to provide breastmilk until 2 years. This will likely become night and early morning nursing sessions from 18 months. I don't think being able to ask for it = being to old for it. I want my child to be able to let me know when they are tired, hungry, cold, sad and to know that I will meet their needs.
It's all an ideal idea at this point but hopefully I will exclusively breastfeed until the little one shows interest in table food. Then we will add cups, finger foods...
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
Why not?
It's a serious question. I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong, but I want to prod you as to why you think that is. The main objection I can see to extended BFing (and the problem I would have with nursing an 8-year-old) is that it seems it would become psychologically detrimental at some point, except that the WHO recommends at least two years and the AAP sees no problem with BFing into the third year and beyond. So I'm not sure where this cutoff falls and it seems it's at a higher age than most people's comfort level.
Besides, I don't remember anything that happened to me before I was maybe two or three, and since I already know I was BFed, I don't see what difference it would make if I remembered it. I think suggesting it would be bad to remember nursing is, well, not really that different from suggesting there's something wrong with it. But then I also think a vague memory from early childhood would be different from a distinct memory of the sort I have after I was four or five. That's where I have my own personal (but I think also arbitrary) cutoff.
This exactly. If you haven't BF before you might surprise yourself how your views may change as your DC grows. I know a few people who swore they wouldn't BF past 6 months or so and lasted till a year plus.You realise that a one year old is still very much a baby despite the fact some may walk and some may talk.
I would still be BF DS if this PG hadn't made it too difficult for me. I had hoped to go till 2 years but it's okay that I didn't make it. DS is perfectly happy with cow's milk.
FWIW, he still cannot ask for food or milk and lots of babies won't have to words to until 18 months or after so that's not really a legit argument for weaning before a year!
I think each to their own, if someone wants to nurse their 2 or 3 year old then more power to them. I don't know where the upper limit is though. I don't think I feel positively about an 8 year old BF but also, just because it's *different* to my experiences, does it automatically make it *wrong*?
I preface this by saying that 8 years old is way too old to still be BFing. There arent really any bennefits to it at that point IMO. THAT is abnormal and not common.
However I dont think anything under 4 is too old personally. It might freak me out a bit if I saw someone over five lifting their moms shirt, but I think that up until at least 3 BFing is SUPER benneficial physically for the child. I think it's stupid when people think 1 is too old to BF anymore when so many credible medical sources reccomend at least 1-2 year olds BFing.
What someone else finds personally right for them shouldnt really be judged by others. Im not going to tell the mom who started formula feeding at 6 months that she is hurting her child by not giving it the most nutrient rich milk available. I also expect her not to tell me that nursing my 18 month old is disgusting. Respect others opinions on how they feed their kid.
Talking out of the other side of my mouth, there is eventually a line where BFing is nothing more than a comfort to a kid that has long grown out of the physical bennefits of it. But for the first 4 years of the childs life it's already been proven to make a big positive impact on the child. Why would you negatively judge someone for that? If I knew someone IRL that BFed their preteen I probably would think they were strange, but I STILL dont think it's my right to tell them they are damaging their kid. Though the kids in THAT video have an unhealthy obsession with their moms boobs...
My goal is to BF for at least a year. If I can do 2, then even better, but we'll see how everything goes.
As to the person who said BF'ing shouldn't be a memory...how many memories do you have from when you were two? Yes, there are extreme cases of mothers BF'ing older children (I know someone who BFs her 5 year old) but for the most part those are the exception, not the rule.
I cringe a little every time this comes up. IMO, it's such a personal decision and we shouldn't be so judgmental of how long or how little people BF for. This board is never going to come to a consensus over what an appropriate length of time is okay.
Ella born 12/21/11
Do you really have any distinct memories before the age of 4?? And if so, how old were you in the oldest memory you have? I know VERY few people who have any realy memories before 2 or 3, certainly not one!
With this being my first pregnancy, I must be naive about extended breastfeeding. A child breastfeeding past the age of 3 (the age they may start remembering things) seems very excessive to me. I can't say exactly why, it just does. I myself would not like to have a memory of being breastfed. Maybe my opinion will change when I become a mother although I can't imagine it will.
Many people have the opinion that breastfeeding past 12 months is more for the mother than for the child.
It's a personal decision. There is no right or wrong here. Every mother will do what they feel is best for their family and there is nothing wrong with that.
But that's an opinion. Medical authorities disagree. See this site:
https://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
and especially the recommendations from the AAP and WHO - you can argue that kellymom is biased, but it cites trustworthy authorities. People are entitled to their opinions, and I don't think there's any reason to make anyone feel guilty about how long they choose to BF (or whether to BF at all), but at the same time, I make my own parenting decisions, given the luxury of being able to BF beyond a year in the first place, on the basis of other criteria.
I never judged anyone for breastfeeding for an extended period of time. I really didn't know it was such a sensitive subject. Had I known, I never would have brought it up. I was merely curious to see what everyone thought was a "normal" stopping age.
That being said, I wasn't really thinking when I said that "breastfeeding shouldn't be a memory." Clearly I shouldn't have made that comment. For MYSELF, past 12 months seems too long. I can't say that I won't change my mind. I would never judge someone for making a decision they feel is best for their family. I apologize if something I said came off that way.
It's interesting that most of the women in this thread who have "strict" timelines for breastfeeding have never actually breastfed. (I would consider anyone saying, "I am only doing X for X amount of time" in this category.)
You know, the things you say and think and do when you're pregnant totally change once you have that baby. I wasn't going to BF past a year, definitely would NEVER bedshare or cosleep, wasn't going to let sugar pass my child's lips until the age of two, etc. I have failed miserably on all these self imposed rules and many others.
DD is still nursing (just once a day, thanks to pregnancy hormones shorting out my supply) with no plans from either of us to stop. The main reason I'm not stopping is that she has a morning nursing session that gets us both another hour of sleep ... I dare you to judge me for that, lol!
Many people used to be of the opinion that the world was flat and even today thousands upon thousands of people are of the opinion that evolution didn't happen... but it's just that, an opinion, absolutely nothing to do with fact.
I plan to breastfeed for a minimum of 18 months, but I'd like to get to at least 2 years old. I do not buy into the "when the child is old enough to ask for it, it's time to stop." It's very different for each family, and while I have no intention of nursing a four year old like a friend of mine does, I will do my best to go to at least two years, which will likely be only bed and naptime by the time we reach 18 months old. There are many benefits to extended nursing. Contrary to what many people think, the nourishment that comes from breastmilk doesn't going away at 12 months old. At that point they should definitely be getting other food as well.
I think it's important for all of us to remember that when to stop BFing is up to each individual mom, and we will all have very different views on this. I'll be the first to admit that when I had my first, I said I was going to go six weeks, and be done. I ended up loving it, and only got to six months due to an unexpected pregnancy (sometimes even birth control taken correctly fails). I was heart-broken. My next two I got to 18 months before it hurt too much in early pregnancy. This is my last pregnancy, so I don't foresee that being an issue, so I plan to go longer. I'm all for moms who do it only for a few weeks, or for moms who will go for a few years. I think it's one of the best choice we can make, and I will be anyone's personal cheerleader!
I totally agree with what you're saying. I'm sure I will be sad to let breastfeeding go when that point comes for me. And I would NEVER judge someone for wanting another hour of sleep.
There are still qualities in breastmilk that are there after 12 months. The nutritional value doesn't go away when the baby turns a year old.
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
FWIW-My friend has an 8 year old son who doesn't remember being breastfed but knows he was. He thanked her one day when she was making a baby she watches a bottle and he smelled it. Yes, the smell of formula is awful, and he is only 8, but the fact that a boy would thank his mom, regardless of the reason, for breastfeeding him, is pretty awesome in my opinion.
No worries. I actually like having this discussion. This is one of those issues where people's perspectives are strongly colored by our culture's expectations (more than any scientific basis for extended BFing or not), and while I want to question those to some extent, I don't think that the fact they're arbitrary necessarily makes them good or bad. When it all comes down, I *do* think there's a cutoff, I just can't say with any certainty exactly when that is, and I doubt I'd ever get there anyway, so I don't sweat it.
It is really true (I know I already basically said this!) that if you had a time machine when your baby was a newborn and could see what it would be like to BF your LO as a toddler, you'd probably freak out, but that's not what happens - you just take it a day at a time and one day realize you've gone as far as you thought you'd ever go, and now what? I always wanted to BF DD for a year. I didn't really know what would happen after that; I figured if I was sick of nursing, I could wean her, and if I wasn't, we would keep going until one of us wanted to stop. Neither of us did, and weaning is an effort if your LO and your body aren't ready (I was engorged for a couple weeks after I weaned DD), so there was no reason for me to stop at a year. I can see that extended BFing might be a result of inertia, but at worst it's neutral and at best it's good for both mother and child. As PPs said, you can have expectations before your LO is born if you're a FTM but you don't really know what that (or any other aspect of parenting) will be like until you're doing it.
That's why I love this board. I feel like you moms can teach me a lot! I like hearing others opinions, and as long as everyone respects each other, it's a very positive thing.
I know a woman who breastfed her youngest until she was about 6 years old and to be honest, it freaked me out. She would come up to her mom saying "titty! titty" and then tell her when she was ready to switch from the right to left side. She was WAY too old, and the sad thing is that I never thought the Mom did it as a benefit to her child. When she was younger, sure - of COURSE she did it for her daughter, but when she got to be 5-6 years old I think it was the Mom's way of holding onto the youth of her youngest. She had three grown sons (in their teens and early 20ties) when her daughter was born. I think the reason she didn't stop was because it was hard for her to let go of the "baby". Freaky....
I personally won't be b/fing beyond 1 year at the very most, but if someone else wants to continue until the child is 2 years I think that is completely a personal preference. So long as they stop before the child will remember/be able to ask for it I think it's totally fine.
I would never go past 1 year. I'll be lucky if I can make it 3 months. As I stated in the same thread over the weekend, my nipples are extremely senstitve and can't stand to have them touched nevermind being sucked on.
After 1 year if you still want to provide your child with breastmilk then pump and give it to them in a sippy cup. I just find it strange for a child who can walk and talk to be sucking on a boob.
The reason I am so turned off of breastfeeding an older baby or toddler is b/c of an experience I had at my last job. I used to work for David's Bridal. One day a family came in. It was mom, dad, 3yo DD and 6yo DS. DD was going to be a flower girl in a wedding. She spent a while trying on dresses and posing in the mirror. When they were done they were sitting on the couches in the middle of the salesfloor surrounded by mirrors. Mom whipped out her boob and 3yo DD went to town. When she was done her dad said that they were going to go to McD's. She then starts jumping up and down talking about how she is going to have nuggets and fries. Needless to say, all the customers and employees were horrified. If your child is old enough to eat chicken mcnuggets and fries then they are too old to suck on your boob.
Isn't it sad that "we" are criticizing something that causes no harm? This is really a judgmental question that can not do any good, especially if you are asking about breastfeeding an infant or toddler. No one goes to college breastfeeding.... and we should not cut down mothers who have their children's best interest and health in mind.
Yes, I am a lactation counselor so find the question offensive.
I personally would like to make it to close to a year, with six months being the minimum. But I will be working and pumping for daycare. So I know it will be tough. I think it is a personal decision, but I really don't get the benefits of breastfeeding a four year old. I knew someone who did that.
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My mom BF'd me until I was 4. She said I told her I didn't like it anymore because it was sour. I was the yougest of four kids, and the other three were BF'd less than a year. I think part of it was her holding on to her last baby, but she also knew that I had several allergy problems, and research shows that the longer you BF, the healthier your child and their immune system.
I personally wouldn't BF my LO that long, but I am going to attempt a year at least. I travel a lot for work, so it may be hard.
I really appreciate my mom for what she did because I am sure she got a lot of negative feedback, and she didnt care.
You can probably guess from what I've written previously that I disagree with this. FWIW, my daughter was neither walking nor talking at a year (a lot of kids aren't walking at that age, let alone talking). Besides, what does walking or talking or being able to eat McNuggets have to do with whether a child is "too old" to BF?
If I'm doing something that my doctor and various authorities support and recommend, and someone chooses to judge me, I'm not the one with a problem. End of story.
LOL at all the "I'll never" posts. The fact is that you just never know. There was a poster on the AP board who was breastfeeding her 3 year old--she wasn't interested in continuing but he had developmental delays which made weaning practically impossible. So you just never know.
I won't put an upper limit on myself. I hope he self weans by 2 so I can have my body back...but if he doesn't, oh well.
Oh and I want to edit and add that there is so much judging going on here. I don't give a flying f*ck what other women choose to do with their breasts, whether that means not attempting to BF at all, or going into toddlerhood/beyond. It doesn't affect me so I just don't care.
Breastfeeding and pregnant!
I don't get why you have to argue with peoples opinions. It's like their opinion is wrong just b/c they don't agree with what your opinion is. I don't see why I keep having to defend my opinion with you.
Why is it that when the pro extended BF people voice their opinions it's all fine and dandy but as soon as someone who opposes this voices their opinion then those people are judging and criticizing.
We are all entitled to our own thought and opinions. If you don't like my opinion OH F'ING WELL. I am not forcing you to do anything. You do whatever the fvck you want and I'll do what I want. I don't see how it will affect you.
I really want to know exactly what this means, and who exactly these people are. I'm doing it for me how, exactly? I mean, I couldn't force the kid to nurse for anything- if he's doing it, he wants it.
It also makes me laugh a lot, because I remember how important nursing was for DS at 12 months. I've not offered milk besides before nap or bedtime since 10 or 11 months, and he asked A LOT for quite a while. I've had to actively work on cutting him back (for me!). I also remember how important it was for DS to nurse for nutrition when he was going through a series of ear infections and wouldn't eat solids. The one time he was super congested on top of it and wouldn't nurse either, he dropped two pounds in a week.
A lot of people DO say that. I can't tell you why, because I don't know. I don't have an opinion on that comment either way. Just stating I have heard that comment several times.
It's okay if we all have different opinions and don't agree on everything. There can be mutual respect for differing opinions. If we all the thought the same way the world & on a smaller scale, TB, would be a boring place. To each his own.
I respect you for doing what you believe to be best for your son. Everyone ought to do that.