I'm not as regular on this board as I'd like to be, and I really need to break the habit of posting only when I'm really sad.
If you're my FB friend, you already know my story, but I thought I'd reach out to the rest of you because I'm having a particularly rough weekend. Seven weeks ago, my husband of 3.5 years told me he had fallen in love with another woman. They had been "dating" for a month behind my back. Sophia was 6 months old at the time. He met her at a wedding in Brooklyn and she lives there. It's an awful, awful situation, and the details don't matter much anymore. They are together and she's supposedly moving here. I moved to an apartment down south with Sophia and I've been trying to put my life back together. I'm a teacher, so I've had the summer off and I've had a lot of time to sit and be sad and lonely.
I filed for divorce the day after he told me, and it will be final in two weeks. I have some really good days and really bad days. Today's a bad one.
For all practical purposes, I'm a single mom. He comes three times a week for visits, and when she's 18 months old, she'll start overnights with him.
Tonight has been one of my hardest nights. Sophia is congested with a runny nose (cold maybe? teething?) and is sitting up in her crib, not sleeping. I've given her saline drops, Nose Frida, Tylenol. She's fed, dry, and obviously super tired.
I don't really know what I'm asking for. Just wanted to get my story out there. I did start a blog and it's helping me a bit.
Don't know how to do a clicky, but you can see it here: https://strongerinhotwater.wordpress.com/
Re: Rock bottom.
Wow. You've really been through a lot and I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say except to hang in there. I know there are some other ladies on this board who have been through some rough patches in their marriages (both divorced and not), they could probably give you some words of wisdom.
In the meantime, you're welcome here and I'm glad you posted.
First, I'm so, so sorry. I can't even imagine how that must have felt, and how incredibly sad you are and have been.
Second, don't be a stranger! There are more than a few women on here that have gone through something similar, and I'm sure they would be very supportive of you (well, we all would, but I'm sure personal experiences would be very helpful).
Again, I'm so, so sorry. Please feel free to vent your frustrations to us.
(((hugs)))
I don't have any advice either. Hopefully when school starts up again, you'll have something to help fill your time and you won't be sad so much.
<<hugs>>
oh my goodness, that just breaks my heart for you. you have had so much to process and deal with this summer and of course there are sad days i am so so sorry
please don't be a stranger. like pp's have said there are girls on the board who can relate and we are all here to support you
Me too!
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I am so sorry to hear about everything. I think you deserve the right to be sad some days and you need a place to vent! That's completely understandeable!
Wouldn't it be great if you could just snap your fingers and make it be one year from now? Because one year from now life is going to be so much better. Your beautiful baby girl is probably going to be walking, and you won't wake up in the middle of the night and remember how crappy things are right now. My heart pours out to you. I haven't been in that situation exactly, but between my own experiences getting dumped and watching my mom go through awfulness with my dad, I can imagine how hard this must be for you.
Is it okay for us to hate on him? Because I'm really happy to!
I think it's great you started a blog, and it's great that you reached out on here.
Lots of strength your way!
I am so, so sorry. My sister went through a similar situation this past year (though not with a baby in the picture) and my heart breaks for you because I have seen from her journey how difficult it is to have your spouse walk away from your marriage. Definitely do not be a stranger - we are here for you! The good days and bad days are completely normal and soon there will be more good days than bad days.
LO's with colds or teething are hard. DD always slept better during teething when we put a pillow under one end of her mattress so it was elevated. I think the congestion bothered her less that way.
I wish I lived close by to offer some help. The best I can do is send long-distance **hugs** to you.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Ha! I was wondering the same thing. If so, "JACKASS!"
If not, uh, nevermind.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
You may hate on him all you want. Unfortunately he'll be in my life for at least 18 years, so I'm trying not to be angry all the time. Not easy.
Thank guys.
Me too! I am great at hating on exes, so just say the word and I'm all over it.
Seriously though, I am really sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Silver lining: My parents divorced when I was young (7) and I can tell you that it has been so much easier for me than for my friends whose parents divorced when they were older because I don't really remember anything else. I promise things will get better.
Don't be a stranger on the boards! Are you on the FB moms group? It might do you some good to get out of the house. If you don't want to though, you can tell me to butt out.
My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine.
Let us know if we can help you at all. And feel free to vent all you like!
I'm so, so, sorry for what you're going through right now. I can't even imagine how hard it might be. I hope things start looking up soon, but in the meantime know that we're here for you!
This exactly. You're in my prayers.
I'm so, so sorry for what you're going through.
::hugs::
Oh, honey. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Please let me know if you can hang out next weekend. Maybe another pool playdate on Friday? I'm here for you.
After going through several (three out of FIVE!) divorces with my mom, I can tell you what i am sure others have told you- its going to suck some days, and you'll be ok other days, and sometimes it will seem like you've taken two steps back. But, it will get easier over time, and your heartache will hurt a little less every day until one day when you realize that you feel more like yourself again. Hang in there, dear. You can do it.
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I'm sorry that your exH is such a douchebag.
Best of luck as you pick up the pieces and put them all back together - you're going to come out of this much stronger than you already are.
My thoughts will be with you & your DD.
Better days will come again.
*hugs*
so sorry, things will get better!
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear that this is what you've been dealing with. One of my DH's BFFs decided to walk out on his wife right before she had their baby this past spring. I've been watching it all go down and trying to support her; why are some men such asshats? One day I think he will realize what he did, and by then, you won't want/need him anymore. I'm glad you are in therapy and found someone you like. I know that's helped her a lot too.
Also, definitely don't be a stranger here. I know I feel like I post a lot more when sad, but I've also been trying to make the effort to post more often as well for other stuff.
Big hugs!!!
Thank you all so much. Your responses mean so much to me. Most days I'm pretty strong, but right now both DD and I have a cold and I'm feeling particularly sorry for myself.
Thanks again.
I'm so very sorry about what you are going through right now. I know from personal experience how difficult it is. I separated from my ex-H when DD 5 months old. The circumstances were different but I've been where you are and know what it is like. If you want to chat sometime off the board, feel free to email me.
emabend (at) hotmail (dot) com
<hugs> It does get easier. It may not feel like it right now but it does. If you need someone to vent too, please touch base.
((Hugs))
I am so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I don't have any kind of advice or anything but want to repeat what pps said. Post as often as you'd like here. I know there isn't much time left but maybe you could meet up with a play group or something in the next couple of weeks to try to fill up your time.
Ditto Ruby! I'm so sorry to hear it, yet very happy that you reached out. Its healthy, and I hope you know that we're here for you. *hugs*