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March 2012 Moms
The hardest part about the Boards
Just before I say anything I really dont mean this in any mean way at all .... I think the hardest part about getting on here and reading post and things are the losses this is my first and I am sooo excited but so nervous as well I have wanted to be a mommy for so long and absolutely can't wait but I am also scared I don't want anything to happen I can't imagine , Its hard getting on here and reading about the losses and I feel so awful for them and it makes me even more scared or nervous that something is going to happen to me it just seems like it happens so much more than the percentages say... I love coming and getting on here for adivce and just to vent its just so hard to see losses on here and stay positive too...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The hardest part about the Boards
This!
I think the whole Internet should be off-limits to pregnant women....I'm joking (sort of).
As someone who has had a loss it's even more disconcerting.
hee hee, i'm sorry, but that was the longest sentence ever without a period!!!
yeah, losses are sad. in fact, they are more than sad, they are fuckking horrible and should never happen. i've had one and most women will, statistically speaking. i am scared every day and i don't think i'll ever stop checking the toilet paper for blood until i have a baby in my arms. i'm glad that women can come here and talk about their losses and their fears of having one. it's what helps to bond us and to form friendships.
Me too.
If it's hard for you to read about it, just imagine how hard it is for the women actually going through it.
(That's the nice way to say STFU.)
Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
I don't think thats what she meant. Many of us have come from other boards, must of us have struggled and or suffered losses. What I think she meant is that there are a lot of women on this board (many new to the bump) and some have been very unfortunate to experience losses. I think the point is Its just very sad and hard to hear that this awful thing has to happen to women when we are all trying to be happy and excited.
2004- DX with PCOS
6/2011- Gonal-F + Ganirelix + Oviderl and Crinone= BFP
7/7/2011 Beta #1 119 Beta #2 563 Beta#3 4178
http://tinypic.com/r/25z7709/8
I was not at all saying that people shouldn't post their losses or to stop or anything like that I was simply stating that I am scared so its hard to read I have had best friends who have had losses and I completely agree that these boards are helpful no matter what happens if I suffered a loss I would post here too. I was just trying to state I was nervous and I get even more nervous when I read a bout them that was all so all those who took it otherwise I apologize thats not what I meant at all. When people comment like that on stuff it makes me not even want to be on these boards its like some people can say whatever they want but other arnt allowed to say how their feeling. I was just trying to say I am nervous and want everything to be okay. So I am sorry to those who took it differently or thought I was saying you shouldnt post your loss or express your sadness because I think you should.
I kind of had that thought as well. I love that women are able to form this amazing community where we can be real with each other -- the good and the bad. I know the post could hurt someone who has suffered a loss, but she apologized beforehand and just wanted to share how she felt. I, too, have felt the same way. This is my first and it scares the sh!t out of me to lose my LO that I've only known existed for 6 days and 20 hours now. I have gone to the restroom to check EVERY SINGLE TIME someone's posted something, stayed awake at night when I turn funny and get a cramp, etc.
I know there's "Flame Free Fridays" or whatever -- how about we just have a flame-free board? I remember people posting earlier this week about how they loved that our board was so drama-free. Can we please keep it that way? I love you gals, and couldn't imagine going through this without you, because I have a husband who's as clueless as I am, and we're not telling anyone yet.
My Baby's Size
I dont think anyone is saying not to have an opinion but I dont think it's appropriate or respectful to tear someone down based on theres. I was trying to express my sadness for those people and my concern for my own pregnancy and then torn down because everyone assumed I was saying don't post on here which were words that never came from my board. I apologize if you thought I was telling your or anyone else not to post or to walk on "eggshells" thats not what I meant. But I think people could be nicer if they don't agree instead of going straight to the defense and being rude.
Wow.....
And I don't think it's appropriate or respectful to use other people's tragedies as an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.
You go on ahead and express your opinions, you're welcome to. Where you're wrong is to expect me to hold you hand and pat your back because my losses make you afraid you'll have one too.
Your kidding right?! I never tried to get anyone to feel sorry for me and I am almost certain I am not the only who might be scared or nervous. I myself had a msicarriage 5 years ago it's scarey I had it before I even knew so if I am a little more scared now or cautious or nervous I have every right to be. I would never use someone else's loss as a reason to feel sorry for myself.
2004- DX with PCOS
6/2011- Gonal-F + Ganirelix + Oviderl and Crinone= BFP
7/7/2011 Beta #1 119 Beta #2 563 Beta#3 4178
http://tinypic.com/r/25z7709/8
I agree with you and I wasn't meaning you were being rude I think people on here can be really hateful when it comes to others opinions and thats what I was directing my reply to not to you. I was just trying to apoligize to you if you thought I meant that you shouldn't be allowed to post because of a loss or thought I was belittling you loss in anyway. I meant in no way to offend you or anyone else when I posted that and I am sorry if I worded things wrong that didnt protray what I meant.
it's funny to me how you didn't mention your m/c in your OP. you said, "this is my first..." and also, "Its hard getting on here and reading about the losses and I feel so awful for them..." and for that you get one of these.
I didn't mention your right it was a long time ago I didn't know I was pregnant till it even happened. I look at this as my first yes because I had no idea I was even pregnant but with that it does make me nervous it could happen again so knowing this time I am so nervous that I might have a chance of another one. I can't imagine knowing I was pregnant and losing the baby so that part is hard when you see people's losses who knew they were expecting and then suddenly lose their LO. Not that I wasn't sad when it happened but it wasn't the same. So I do I feel awful for those people and it makes me sad they had to go through that. I wish that on no one.
Boo to drama post!!!!!
YES hearing about a loss is hard and scary. Life is hard, and scary, and bad stuff happens. People have formed bonds and friendships on the board and they have the right to post about a loss and get support from other girls in the boards they are part of.
:: stands and applauds ::
the hardest thing for me about the boards is reading insensitive posts like this one.
No drama intended I agree with you like I have already stated many times and have apologized if anyone misunderstood what I was trying to say.
Hug! I can undestand why it would be a hot subject for you. I am not the best at getting things out in the way I mean them because I have a lot going on in my head and can't always get it out the way I mean it. I am working on it but the pregnancy brain thing is hindering my train of thought these days.
Wow. What a b!tch. OP - Ignore posters like this, they love to stir up sh!t and blow things way out of proportion.
Colinda - Are you even expecting in March? If not, shoo.
I can totally see where the OP is coming from, and honestly, don't understand the tiny bit of drama it has stirred up. She's posting facts.
1. You read/learn more about loss on message boards then if you weren't on them.
2. Reading more about them makes you think more about it.
3. Thinking more about it makes you worry more about it.
It's simple logic. Not a dig at women who have experienced loss. And honestly, most women I would venture to say would agree with this. Just because someone says something is sad or worrisome doesn't mean that by default she is saying anything about people who talk about loss.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Aw. You called me a b!tch. Color me offended. Let me guess - you feel sorry for my husband too?
I might be expecting in March, but you see, when you're at 6 pregnancies and no babies, you can't really take a BFP in June to mean a baby in March. Oh, gosh. Sorry if that just got someone all upset and scared for themselves.
I truly hope you don't have to go through the losses I went through. That said, if should happen to you, would you want support from us, or would you want us to avoid your post like the plague and leave you in grief and unsupported? I am pretty sure the losses I experienced have anything to do with happiness or lack there of during those pregnancies.