UO Thursday

A Pregnant Pause · June 2011

Slow morning today! Maybe we can liven it up with some Unpopular Opinion Thursday! Have at 'em...

Sammy-Mae · June 2011

I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

JMKaut · June 2011

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

That is insane! We have a bedtime routine, but it's so that we CAN put him down anywhere. It consists of drinking something, reading a book, brushing teeth, getting into pjs, praying, and singing....that's it. It's pretty basic and it just helps signal DS that he has to stay in bed.

my uo - I think too many people are willfully ignorant about what is in the food they eat and then complain about being sick or overweight. I'm not a crazy hippie who eats only organic, but seriously when studies come out about hormones in food and the direct correlation it has to early puberty...it should make you think about what it does to your body, let alone your kids!

cantalopes24 · June 2011

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

I am judging whoever lets your neice sleep on the floor in a public place. First of all, thats dangerous in a restaurant and second, gross.

Liz4444 · June 2011

We were at a restaurant Saturday night and a couple was trying to get a table and got mad because the restaurant wouldn't seat them because they had their dog with them... My UO, if you want to go out to eat, leave your dog at home. A restaurant is NOT a place for your pet, I don't care how good or well trained you claim they are.

jonnygurl76 · June 2011

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

sleeping on the floor is gross. and some kids are more flexible, others LIKE their routine. DD needs the routine to ease her into bedtime but she will sleep wherever we are--i was worried she wouldn't sleep while we were away on vacation but she had her blanket and her seahorse and i sang the same songs we sing and she went to sleep. i think it depends on the child.

my UO:

i think it is a waste to decorate the nursery in a 'baby' theme, why waste the $ and then just have to re-do it in a more kid friendly theme? i am all about decorating in a way that can see your child through several years until they have an opinion on what they like.

A Pregnant Pause · June 2011

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Fianschneid · June 2011

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

My UO is that I feel the same way about nap times for older kids. I know a lot of parents who are putting their 4 or 5 year olds down for two hour naps during the day and then don't understand why their kids don't sleep through the night. Um, they aren't tired.

SpinningJess · June 2011

I'll play today. My UO is that I don't think the ban on selling violent video games to children should have been lifted. It is mind boggling that we can prevent a 10-year-old from going to an R rated movie, but we can go ahead and sell them a video game with like (or even worse) content. My best friend thinks that this will make parents more responsible for what their children are playing... I strongly disagree. I think if a parent is ok with a child playing Halo3 then the parent can go buy the game that is banned. However, without a ban, it's easier for a child to go buy it without permission. I think kids are WAY too desensitized to violence due to these kind of games, and it results in them having little to no empathy for others in pain. I'm NOT saying the games will turn kids into homicidal maniacs, don't read too far into what I'm trying to say here!!

I just hope my son enjoys playing ball, riding his bike, etc. way more than being stuck on the couch playing video games!

cantalopes24 · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why are you having a baby instead of adopting. First of all, it's not people with IF's responsibility to adopt. Second of all, it's not as if someone can just walking into the Baby Store and leave with one that afternoon.

christinaramirez08 · June 2011

jonnygurl76:

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

sleeping on the floor is gross. and some kids are more flexible, others LIKE their routine. DD needs the routine to ease her into bedtime but she will sleep wherever we are--i was worried she wouldn't sleep while we were away on vacation but she had her blanket and her seahorse and i sang the same songs we sing and she went to sleep. i think it depends on the child.

my UO:

i think it is a waste to decorate the nursery in a 'baby' theme, why waste the $ and then just have to re-do it in a more kid friendly theme? i am all about decorating in a way that can see your child through several years until they have an opinion on what they like.

I think you and the other poster are taking jonnygurl76's UO a little too literally. I'm sure she was just using it as a metaphor that her niece will sleep on a restaurant floor. You do know what a metaphor is, right?

I swear, some people are just a little too uptight!!!

saffie2011 · June 2011

I think that marijuana should be legalized.

Janimal · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

'

Here come the flames.

I have a child through IVF and this baby in my belly is from IVF. Anyone who says I wasn't meant to carry a child can shove it.

People who say "just adopt" have no idea there is no "just" in adoption. We began the adoption process and IF treatment process at the same time. I needed to know there was a child in my future, one way or another.

Adoption is expensive, difficult, and comes with it's own set of unique problems and heartache. There are NOT a lot of healthy infants available to adopt. There are plenty of older children with a multitude of issues that not all people are ready to deal with.

If you had cancer, you would get treatment right? You would say, oh, I guess I wasn't mean to live that long. If you broke your leg, you would get it treated, right? Not say, oh, I guess I wasn't meant to use that leg. IF is a MEDICAL condition, and why should it not rank getting treatment?

Who the feck are you or anyone else to say who should and should not have a baby? Do you say to women who got pregnant naturally - "you know, you should have adopted, there are so many kids who need homes." No - you just assume that infertile gals are the ones who should take on the responsbility for those children.

Your thoughtless comments on this matter should never be uttered outloud. 1 in 6 couples deal with IF. You could offend a LOT of people with your uninformed and thoughtless crap.

Liz4444 · June 2011

I have another... I hate how people are blaming childhood obesity on commercials/fast food, etc. How about putting the responsibility where it belongs, on the parents. It is up to parents to teach their children to make good decisions and feed them the right things. The same goes for teen pregnancy... it is not the school/government's job to teach our kids to do the right, responsible thing. Parents need to start taking responsibility for their children and actually parenting instead of expecting other people to do it for them.

jonnygurl76 · June 2011

christinaramirez08:
jonnygurl76:

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

sleeping on the floor is gross. and some kids are more flexible, others LIKE their routine. DD needs the routine to ease her into bedtime but she will sleep wherever we are--i was worried she wouldn't sleep while we were away on vacation but she had her blanket and her seahorse and i sang the same songs we sing and she went to sleep. i think it depends on the child.

my UO:

i think it is a waste to decorate the nursery in a 'baby' theme, why waste the $ and then just have to re-do it in a more kid friendly theme? i am all about decorating in a way that can see your child through several years until they have an opinion on what they like.

I think you and the other poster are taking jonnygurl76's UO a little too literally. I'm sure she was just using it as a metaphor that her niece will sleep on a restaurant floor. You do know what a metaphor is, right?

I swear, some people are just a little too uptight!!!

i think you meant Sammy-mae's UO not mine.

and no honey, i am not uptight...i just don't let my child sleep on the floor of a restaurant. Ick!

christinaramirez08 · June 2011

cantalopes24:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why are you having a baby instead of adopting. First of all, it's not people with IF's responsibility to adopt. Second of all, it's not as if someone can just walking into the Baby Store and leave with one that afternoon.

I agree with cantalopes 100%. Getting pregnant and having a baby is our HUMAN RIGHT so how dare you say it isn't a right. There are so many women out there that would do anything to have their OWN child and I thank God everyday that he gave us the knowledge to develop these technologies to allow women to get pregnant.

You will probably never know what it's like to not be able to get pregnant, so until you experience that, I think you need to keep your UO to yourself. This is one UO that should not be mentioned on TB.

Ugh, some women are just stupid!!!

ababymaybe · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why didn't you adopt?

jwls84 · June 2011

Fianschneid:

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.

My UO is that I feel the same way about nap times for older kids. I know a lot of parents who are putting their 4 or 5 year olds down for two hour naps during the day and then don't understand why their kids don't sleep through the night. Um, they aren't tired.

My sister always lets my nephew take 4 - 6 hour naps so that she can take a "break" and then she complains that he was up until 1:00 in the morning... well I wonder why.

My UO:

I don't see why it is necessary to have 2 differnt baby swings, 3 vibrator chairs, and 5 playmats for one baby. I get that they need stimulation but isn't one of each good enough??

Sugarpea90 · June 2011

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a baby shower whether it's your first LO or your 5th. As long as you aren't expecting one or planning your own I don't see anything wrong with letting friends/ family plan it for you.

FrauElyse · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:
I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

Anyway, my UO is that life is too short to work yourself to death. Live within your means, make cuts if you have to, and enjoy your family and your life. If you spend every spare moment working/being attached to a Blackberry/whatever, then you're going to end up missing a lot without realizing it. I think it's worth making cuts to my standard of living if it means spending more happy time with my family.

HappyAardvark · June 2011

I don't know if this is more an opinion or confession, but I think a lot of the names I see in pg babyname badges are low-rent or just plain trashy. I think everyone should have to read the chapter on baby names in Freakonomics before finalizing their baby's birth certificate.

christen_z1 · June 2011

Sugarpea90:
I don't think there is anything wrong with having a baby shower whether it's your first LO or your 5th. As long as you aren't expecting one or planning your own I don't see anything wrong with letting friends/ family plan it for you.

Yes Thank you!!

jonnygurl76 · June 2011

HappyAardvark:
I don't know if this is more an opinion or confession, but I think a lot of the names I see in pg babyname badges are low-rent or just plain trashy. I think everyone should have to read the chapter on baby names in Freakonomics before finalizing their baby's birth certificate.

this just made me LAUGH! i thought i was the only one giving the side eye....

cantalopes24 · June 2011

FrauElyse:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

Anyway, my UO is that life is too short to work yourself to death. Live within your means, make cuts if you have to, and enjoy your family and your life. If you spend every spare moment working/being attached to a Blackberry/whatever, then you're going to end up missing a lot without realizing it. I think it's worth making cuts to my standard of living if it means spending more happy time with my family.

I have no words for how offensive this is.

Fianschneid · June 2011

FrauElyse:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

Anyway, my UO is that life is too short to work yourself to death. Live within your means, make cuts if you have to, and enjoy your family and your life. If you spend every spare moment working/being attached to a Blackberry/whatever, then you're going to end up missing a lot without realizing it. I think it's worth making cuts to my standard of living if it means spending more happy time with my family.

Agree with this. I have a degree and choose to work as an office manager so that I can leave my work behind when I walk out the door. DH and I don't make as much as our friends, but we live within our means and don't complain about it because we get to spend more time with each other than anyone else we know. We love our lives because we have allowed ourselves to have lives.

Sammy-Mae · June 2011

jonnygurl76:
christinaramirez08:
jonnygurl76:

Sammy-Mae:
I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them. I don't like bedtime routines. I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home? DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick. She will sleep anywhere. My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime. My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.
sleeping on the floor is gross. and some kids are more flexible, others LIKE their routine. DD needs the routine to ease her into bedtime but she will sleep wherever we are--i was worried she wouldn't sleep while we were away on vacation but she had her blanket and her seahorse and i sang the same songs we sing and she went to sleep. i think it depends on the child.
my UO:
i think it is a waste to decorate the nursery in a 'baby' theme, why waste the $ and then just have to re-do it in a more kid friendly theme? i am all about decorating in a way that can see your child through several years until they have an opinion on what they like.

I think you and the other poster are taking jonnygurl76's UO a little too literally. I'm sure she was just using it as a metaphor that her niece will sleep on a restaurant floor. You do know what a metaphor is, right?
I swear, some people are just a little too uptight!!!
i think you meant Sammy-mae's UO not mine.
and no honey, i am not uptight...i just don't let my child sleep on the floor of a restaurant.

For the record, her parents did not leave her on the floor. She got out of her seat and curled up on the floor and closed her eyes. SHe was down there for a few seconds and her parents took her home.

HappyAardvark · June 2011

FrauElyse:
A Pregnant Pause:
I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...
I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

wow, some really fine examples of jackassery in these two replies. What an a$dhole thing to say for two women who are happily pregnant. Thankfully neither of you have any fvcking idea the pain of IF and hopefully never will. But to imply that these women should "just adopt" is so plain ignorant, I can't believe anyone would have the balls to type that out.

saffie2011 · June 2011

Janimal:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

'
Here come the flames.

I have a child through IVF and this baby in my belly is from IVF. Anyone who says I wasn't meant to carry a child can shove it.

If you had cancer, you would get treatment right? You would say, oh, I guess I wasn't mean to live that long. If you broke your leg, you would get it treated, right? Not say, oh, I guess I wasn't meant to use that leg. IF is a MEDICAL condition, and why should it not rank getting treatment?

Who the feck are you or anyone else to say who should and should not have a baby? Do you say to women who got pregnant naturally - "you know, you should have adopted, there are so many kids who need homes." No - you just assume that infertile gals are the ones who should take on the responsbility for those children.

Your thoughtless comments on this matter should never be uttered outloud. 1 in 6 couples deal with IF. You could offend a LOT of people with your uninformed and thoughtless crap.

This. Janimal, can we hook up? I think I am in love.

My baby is an IVF baby too and I have not a doubt in my mind that I am MEANT to have her. I think that women and men who go to extremes to have children (whether through treatments OR adoption) are people that REALLY want children.... not a fertile myrtle who got knocked up by accident.

kujayhawkgirl · June 2011

christinaramirez08:
cantalopes24:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why are you having a baby instead of adopting. First of all, it's not people with IF's responsibility to adopt. Second of all, it's not as if someone can just walking into the Baby Store and leave with one that afternoon.

I agree with cantalopes 100%. Getting pregnant and having a baby is our HUMAN RIGHT so how dare you say it isn't a right. There are so many women out there that would do anything to have their OWN child and I thank God everyday that he gave us the knowledge to develop these technologies to allow women to get pregnant.

You will probably never know what it's like to not be able to get pregnant, so until you experience that, I think you need to keep your UO to yourself. This is one UO that should not be mentioned on TB.

Ugh, some women are just stupid!!!

100% agree with cantalopes, Janimal, and christin ... bearing children is a NATURAL thing that a woman's body should do. Going through IF made me feel like less of a woman, because my body wasn't functioning properly. So using IF treatment, which has affored me the opportunity to experience this wonderful pregnancy, has made me thankful to have my own child that I carried and (will) deliever. The experience of being pregnant with and giving birth to your own child is a natural womanly right that any woman should be affored the opportunity to experience if they wish -- even if that means IF treatments.

christen_z1 · June 2011

HappyAardvark:
FrauElyse:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

wow, some really fine examples of jackassery in these two replies. What an a$dhole thing to say for two women who are happily pregnant. Thankfully neither of you have any fvcking idea the pain of IF and hopefully never will. But to imply that these women should "just adopt" is so plain ignorant, I can't believe anyone would have the balls to type that out.

Yes

SpinningJess · June 2011

saffie2011:
I think that marijuana should be legalized.

Yes Me too! It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke. I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana.

jwls84 · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

IF in no way equals unfit parent. To say that people who have problems conceiving just aren't meant to have a child of their own is ignorant! They aren't being punished for their sins, they just have a medical condition. You wouldn't say someone with a terminal medicial condition wasn't meant to live... everyone deserves to fight for what they want, whether that is a baby or to live for another 5 months!

Janimal · June 2011

FrauElyse:

I actually agree with this. A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution. She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

SCIENTIFIC OVERKILL!!!???

The asshattery of those two words together being used to talk about IF treatment is overwhelming me.

The decision about how to build a family is a very personal one. Neither treatment nor adoption is easy. Adoption is and can be very scary. I would suggest that people who have NO FECKING CLUE what both IF treatment and the adoption process entail, should refrain froom passing uninformed and offensive judgments on those who are dealing with these as real issues in their lives.

Raising a child that is not biological to you is hard. It can also be exceptionally rewarding. But hard. Way hard.

And - YOU wanted to be pregnant, right? Why the hell do you think YOU have any more of a right to want to be pregnant than anyone else? I wanted a child. I wanted to also be pregnant. If I couldn't get pregnant I would have mourned that and moved on. But it is completely unfair and plain ignorant to suggest I had no right for that yearning to be pregnant. It's hypocritical also, given YOU happen to also be pregnant!

A Pregnant Pause · June 2011

Okay. My UO was mainly directed at extreme cases though I guess it's a slippery slope and the definition of "extreme" is going to vary from person to person. I was reading an article about that woman who had IVF at 69 only to pass away 3 years later. It got me pretty worked up because her wanting to be a mother meant that she left some very young children motherless.

As it stands, my whole life has been the result of someone's inability to raise a child and someone else's inability to conceive one. As far as why don't I adopt. I certainly do plan on adopting. As excited as we are to meet him, this baby was not part of the original plan.

So yes, I understand that what I wrote here was offensive and I apologize. I know that many people in here did conceive via some form of treatment, but the intent really wasn't aimed at most people. Just those "extreme" cases. Clearly should have made that more clear.

FrauElyse · June 2011

Just to clarify, yes, I am happily pregnant, but I would gladly adopt if it were an issue. I said what I said because my friend is having a very hard time and would love to just adopt but her SO won't because he wants to exhaust every single option. She's worried that by that point, they won't be able to afford to adopt. I just think there's a line where you have to decide which road you want to go down and sometimes it's not the road you want, but it's a road that should be considered. If you have the money to try every option and then still be able to adopt at the end if you have to, more power to you. We're not all that lucky.

Janimal · June 2011

A Pregnant Pause:

Okay. My UO was mainly directed at extreme cases though I guess it's a slippery slope and the definition of "extreme" is going to vary from person to person. I was reading an article about that woman who had IVF at 69 only to pass away 3 years later. It got me pretty worked up because her wanting to be a mother meant that she left some very young children motherless.

As it stands, my whole life has been the result of someone's inability to raise a child and someone else's inability to conceive one. As far as why don't I adopt. I certainly do plan on adopting. As excited as we are to meet him, this baby was not part of the original plan.

So yes, I understand that what I wrote here was offensive and I apologize. I know that many people in here did conceive via some form of treatment, but the intent really wasn't aimed at most people. Just those "extreme" cases. Clearly should have made that more clear.

It seems to me your issue with the 69 year old woman was not treatment, it was her AGE that made her pregnancy irresponsible.

Thank you for apologizing.

wilsontl19191 · June 2011

I don't understand why people name their child one thing, only to call him or her something else! I understand shortened versions (Chris, Mike, etc).

Wtf is that all about? I am naming my child Preston. And guess what I will call him - Preston! What a concept?!?!?

Oh and I have a MAJOR crush on Janimal.

jennz201 · June 2011

saffie2011:
I think that marijuana should be legalized.

I wholly agree! And tax the hell out of it. Just for the record, I don't smoke, but I have friends who do and I would trust them a million times over in a car before I would trust someone who had been drinking.

jwls84 · June 2011

wilsontl19191:

I don't understand why people name their child one thing, only to call him or her something else! I understand shortened versions (Chris, Mike, etc).

Wtf is that all about? I am naming my child Preston. And guess what I will call him - Preston! What a concept?!?!?

Oh and I have a MAJOR crush on Janimal.

I don't understand it either! I used to work with a women named Stephanie and everyone called her Mary Anne... I never understood the conenction there lol.

soon2bjmn · June 2011

Janimal:
A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

'
Here come the flames.

I have a child through IVF and this baby in my belly is from IVF. Anyone who says I wasn't meant to carry a child can shove it.

People who say "just adopt" have no idea there is no "just" in adoption. We began the adoption process and IF treatment process at the same time. I needed to know there was a child in my future, one way or another.

Adoption is expensive, difficult, and comes with it's own set of unique problems and heartache. There are NOT a lot of healthy infants available to adopt. There are plenty of older children with a multitude of issues that not all people are ready to deal with.

If you had cancer, you would get treatment right? You would say, oh, I guess I wasn't mean to live that long. If you broke your leg, you would get it treated, right? Not say, oh, I guess I wasn't meant to use that leg. IF is a MEDICAL condition, and why should it not rank getting treatment?

Who the feck are you or anyone else to say who should and should not have a baby? Do you say to women who got pregnant naturally - "you know, you should have adopted, there are so many kids who need homes." No - you just assume that infertile gals are the ones who should take on the responsbility for those children.

Your thoughtless comments on this matter should never be uttered outloud. 1 in 6 couples deal with IF. You could offend a LOT of people with your uninformed and thoughtless crap.

Yes I donated eggs a few years back and talked openly about it and frequently was asked "Don't you think there is a reason that they shouldn't have a child?" Um really? F"ING REALLY? There are many people who shouldn't be having children but it sure isn't the people being treated for IF.

ericanandy · June 2011

jonnygurl76:
Sammy-Mae:
x

x

my UO:

i think it is a waste to decorate the nursery in a 'baby' theme, why waste the $ and then just have to re-do it in a more kid friendly theme? i am all about decorating in a way that can see your child through several years until they have an opinion on what they like.

See this is why I did our nursery gender neutral. We plan on having more than one kid (already on number 2) and plan on at least number 3 in this house. So the room will be decorated as a nursery for about 7 years at least.

I'm now working DS's big boy room. Which is going to be baseball themed , but not over the top cartoony just mostly red, white, blue with a few baseball posters. I'm trying to make it so that it can be a room for a toddler, pre-schooler and up to about end of elementary school (here that's 6th grade).

I can't stand cartoony themed bedrooms.

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