UO Thursday

soon2bjmn

SpinningJess:

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

  Me too!  It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke.  I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana. 

This is actually how I feel about drugs period. The war on drugs has not and does not work. Prohibition does not work. It just costs us so much money it makes me want to barf.

ericanandy

SpinningJess:

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

  Me too!  It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke.  I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana. 

This. I was just thinking about this the other day how much revenue we could be getting from pot.

I've also NEVER smoked pot in my entire life. So although I am "pro" legalizing it, I also don't know how it makes you feel and how/if it impairs your judgement. 

freckleface77

wilsontl19191:

I don't understand why people name their child one thing, only to call him or her something else!  I understand shortened versions (Chris, Mike, etc). 

Wtf is that all about?  I am naming my child Preston.  And guess what I will call him - Preston!  What a concept?!?!?

Thank you! I'm about to have an issue with my mother about this because she's trying to figure out what her nickname for my daughter will be. She brings it up every time we're on the phone and most of the time I just move on and don't say much. But I'm starting to get really annoyed. Baby's name is Trinity and my mom keeps referring to her as "Trinny". YUK!!  How hard is it to just leave the other "it" in there??

I think a nickname should be a WAY shorter version or something completely different and special...like, my Granddaddy used to call me SugarPuddin, Lil bit & Grandbaby, all the way up until he died when I was 21.  Soooo endearing ...miss him so much.

StephK

FrauElyse:

Just to clarify, yes, I am happily pregnant, but I would gladly adopt if it were an issue.  I said what I said because my friend is having a very hard time and would love to just adopt but her SO won't because he wants to exhaust every single option.  She's worried that by that point, they won't be able to afford to adopt.  I just think there's a line where you have to decide which road you want to go down and sometimes it's not the road you want, but it's a road that should be considered.  If you have the money to try every option and then still be able to adopt at the end if you have to, more power to you.  We're not all that lucky.

I'm sorry, but it isn't your position to judge where that line is for your friend or for anyone else.  It is entirely up to your friend and her SO to decide how they choose to build their family.  Referring to their treatment efforts as scientific overkill is really insulting, IMO, no matter your reasoning.

cantalopes24

soon2bjmn:

SpinningJess:

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

  Me too!  It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke.  I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana. 

This is actually how I feel about drugs period. The war on drugs has not and does not work. Prohibition does not work. It just costs us so much money it makes me want to barf.

The war on drugs is a joke. If you look at actual statistics it really doesn't help.

lindylogana

Sammy-Mae:

I know that a lot of people use them with their kids but I don't like them.  I don't like bedtime routines.  I mean don't you get to the point where your kid won't sleep anywhere else because the routine isn't the same as it is at home?  DD needs pacifiers and her stuffed giraffe to go to bed, we have only had problems getting her down when she has been sick.  She will sleep anywhere.  My niece is even lower maintenance and will sleep on the floor in a restaurant if she decides it's bedtime.  My cousin's kids have established bedtime routines so strictly followed that they will now not go to sleep anywhere but at home and if mom and dad both aren't there to put them down, forget about it.  

I have never understood bedtime routines or having a strict routine throughout the day.  My daughter is so easy going about going to bed anywhere and I mostly think its from not having a specific routine every night.  My husband's cousin has such a strict routine (like your cousin) that her kids don't adapt to anything.

mellymel12

kujayhawkgirl:

christinaramirez08:

cantalopes24:

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why are you having a baby instead of adopting. First of all, it's not people with IF's responsibility to adopt. Second of all, it's not as if someone can just walking into the Baby Store and leave with one that afternoon.

I agree with cantalopes 100%. Getting pregnant and having a baby is our HUMAN RIGHT so how dare you say it isn't a right. There are so many women out there that would do anything to have their OWN child and I thank God everyday that he gave us the knowledge to develop these technologies to allow women to get pregnant.

You will probably never know what it's like to not be able to get pregnant, so until you experience that, I think you need to keep your UO to yourself. This is one UO that should not be mentioned on TB.

Ugh, some women are just stupid!!!

100% agree with cantalopes, Janimal, and christin ... bearing children is a NATURAL thing that a woman's body should do. Going through IF made me feel like less of a woman, because my body wasn't functioning properly. So using IF treatment, which has affored me the opportunity to experience this wonderful pregnancy, has made me thankful to have my own child that I carried and (will) deliever. The experience of being pregnant with and giving birth to your own child is a natural womanly right that any woman should be affored the opportunity to experience if they wish -- even if that means IF treatments.

Sorry to quote all this but I agree with all of it. You ladies put it 100x's better than I could have. It is definitely a UO...but I still can't believe it was typed here.

MrsLoos

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

You have no idea how devastating infertility is, and the second part of your post I highlighted proves this.

 Unless you have gone through IF you have absolutely no idea what it does to a person & a couple both emotionally and physically. I've been lucky enough to have people in my life who, unlike you, understand that and don't judge or pretend to understand. Instead they have offered compassion and support, something you obviously have none of.

 Saying "maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child" is one of the most mean and hurtful things you could say to someone suffering IF. I hope, after reading some of these responses you will NEVER say that again.

I did see your apology and I appreciate it, but I'm not convinced you understand how hurtful and ignorant your first post was.

 

soon2bjmn

cantalopes24:

soon2bjmn:

SpinningJess:

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

  Me too!  It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke.  I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana. 

This is actually how I feel about drugs period. The war on drugs has not and does not work. Prohibition does not work. It just costs us so much money it makes me want to barf.

The war on drugs is a joke. If you look at actual statistics it really doesn't help.

Yeah. I believe the bill for last year was over 11 billion, yet we have more people doing drugs than ever and more violence related to it than ever.

 

Meggie1129

I wonder if the original poster has any idea how EXPENSIVE it is to adopt. Luckily our insurance is wonderful and covered a majority of our IF treatments with DS and this pregnancy, including IVF. However, if we were to adopt - wow, there goes a good $30,000! I am seriously amazed at some people. . .

NikkiBenzo

MrsLoos

FrauElyse:

Just to clarify, yes, I am happily pregnant, but I would gladly adopt if it were an issue.  I said what I said because my friend is having a very hard time and would love to just adopt but her SO won't because he wants to exhaust every single option.  She's worried that by that point, they won't be able to afford to adopt.  I just think there's a line where you have to decide which road you want to go down and sometimes it's not the road you want, but it's a road that should be considered.  If you have the money to try every option and then still be able to adopt at the end if you have to, more power to you.  We're not all that lucky.

Nobody "just adopts", you make it sound like you just go to a store pick out a baby and live happily ever after. 

I applaud your friend's SO for being honest knowing that adoption may not be the right choice for him. Adoption isn't easy, it's not cheap -many times it costs more than IF treatments, it's not a guarantee, and it comes with a whole other set of emotional issues for both the child and parents.

memo9

wilsontl19191:

I don't understand why people name their child one thing, only to call him or her something else!  I understand shortened versions (Chris, Mike, etc). 

Wtf is that all about?  I am naming my child Preston.  And guess what I will call him - Preston!  What a concept?!?!?

I agree 100%!  I legally changed my name because my parents named me one thing and then called me another!  It was a huge PIA!  This little girl will be called her name. Period.

saffie2011

soon2bjmn:

cantalopes24:

soon2bjmn:

SpinningJess:

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

  Me too!  It's better than alcohol, potheads usually just sit at home and smoke.  I also am baffled at the lost revenue the government could and should be making off of the sale of legal marijuana. 

This is actually how I feel about drugs period. The war on drugs has not and does not work. Prohibition does not work. It just costs us so much money it makes me want to barf.

The war on drugs is a joke. If you look at actual statistics it really doesn't help.

Yeah. I believe the bill for last year was over 11 billion, yet we have more people doing drugs than ever and more violence related to it than ever.

So glad that I am not alone in this!  I just wanted to agree with everyone above.  Esp. with SpinningJess because it is WAY better than alcohol in terms of impairment, control and addiction!  Generally speaking, people don't beat their wives or get in bar fights after smoking up, but pot has been made into this crazy boogie-man.

cnw112784

First of all with all the IF talk, I would have gotten injections in my eye for the rest of my life if I had to, to try and have my own child, there is nothing wrong with adopting AT ALL, but it is different and there is somthing to be said about carrying your own child...I like many others didnt get pregnant very easily and then suffered losses, which I finally understand isnt my fault, so to even infer that is so stupid...also I live in the middle of hillbilly america and am the HR director of a large company and you wouldnt believe the ignorant, government users with 5 kids, that smoke and drink the whole time they are pregnant, leave their kids unattended etc..but because they can have babies like rabbits, they have to right to have kids?

My other UO I was thinking about the other day...all these people blame different illnesses, mental or otherwise, ADHD, autisum etc on vaccines, which im not claiming to know everything about vaccines etc. but what about what you put into your body when you were pregnant? dont you think that could have had somthing to do with the development of your childs brain and the chemistry in your childs body? I just dont get these people who drink a 6 pack of soda every day or just eat garbage and then are like, "ohhhh vaccines are terrible", its like oh so now your caring? what?? I just dont get it

cantalopes24

saffie2011:

So glad that I am not alone in this!  I just wanted to agree with everyone above.  Esp. with SpinningJess because it is WAY better than alcohol in terms of impairment, control and addiction!  Generally speaking, people don't beat their wives or get in bar fights after smoking up, but pot has been made into this crazy boogie-man.

The next person to say "gateway drug" gets smacked. Guess what, cigarettes are more of  a "gateway drug" (if such a thing even exists) and kill WAY more people than marijauna.

lisamonkee11

saffie2011:

I think that marijuana should be legalized. 

 this.

 My UO is that every couple should have a joint account for joint bills but that each individual should keep their own account for their own money. I hate being accountable to my DH for every penny I spend when I'm the one that makes more money & I contribute more to the household. If I want to buy a pair of shoes than dammit I should be allowed to buy a pair of shoes.

karinothing

I hate when people say they are going to do their own research about vaccines. I want to know what this reasearch is, becuase unless you are going to hold a multi-year scientific study over the course of your pregnancy I am not really sure how you can really do your own research.

jpeazybreezy

1. Getting pregnant IS a right in America, check the Consitution.

2. Marijuana should be legal. Its a muthafraken weed for goodness sake. Its not like other drugs where you have to do stuff to it to make it.

3. How could any one EVER not understand the need of a woman to have a child, no matter the age. The Bible (which ppl tend to think is so male minded) even spends time talking about the hurt a woman goes through when she can't concieve. I never in a million years thought someone would have that attitude.

4. Also, even if Octomom wanted to have another litter, who is society to tell her that she can't (once again, check your Constitution)

5. My UO is that I don't understand why men don't get the right to terminate their parental rights. My DH is an attorney, and he has so many clients that get shafted by some knuckle head woman that he knocked up. Women havre the right to abort if they chose to, men conversly not only don't get a say as to whether or not the woman aborts (such as NO, don't do it, I want my baby), but also doesn't get to terminate his stake in the pregnancy if he choses.

I understand the letter of the law, it stops men from studding themselves all across the universe without ramifications. But it sucks that while it takes two to make a baby, only one has the power to to unmake it. Since we obviously can't have men forcing women to abort, I think that the law should allow for a man to terminate his parental rights just the same as a woman does.

It'll never happen, and honestly I don't think it would be in the best interest our society, but its just a thought I have. Of course we could solve all of this if ppl just kept their legs closed, but that's a WHOLE nother UO....lol.

Mrs. Mo

FrauElyse:

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

I actually agree with this.  A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution.  She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

Anyway, my UO is that life is too short to work yourself to death.  Live within your means, make cuts if you have to, and enjoy your family and your life.  If you spend every spare moment working/being attached to a Blackberry/whatever, then you're going to end up missing a lot without realizing it.  I think it's worth making cuts to my standard of living if it means spending more happy time with my family.   

For fear of saying something that will get me banned, my only replies to you 2 are . You ladies have no fvcking idea how lucky you are that you were able to conceive without medical help.

CakeBatter

A Pregnant Pause:

Okay. My UO was mainly directed at extreme cases though I guess it's a slippery slope and the definition of "extreme" is going to vary from person to person. I was reading an article about that woman who had IVF at 69 only to pass away 3 years later. It got me pretty worked up because her wanting to be a mother meant that she left some very young children motherless.

As it stands, my whole life has been the result of someone's inability to raise a child and someone else's inability to conceive one. As far as why don't I adopt. I certainly do plan on adopting. As excited as we are to meet him, this baby was not part of the original plan.

So yes, I understand that what I wrote here was offensive and I apologize. I know that many people in here did conceive via some form of treatment, but the intent really wasn't aimed at most people. Just those "extreme" cases. Clearly should have made that more clear.

I'm not understanding your post here. How would adoption be a better solution in these extreme cases? In the one you quoted above, young children would STILL have been left behind .... twice (once by the bio parents and once by the adoptive parent).

saffie2011

karinothing:

I hate when people say they are going to do their own research about vaccines. I want to know what this reasearch is, becuase unless you are going to hold a multi-year scientific study over the course of your pregnancy I am not really sure how you can really do your own research.

 

Yes, yes and yes.  What research could you possibly do?  Unless you are a doctor or medical/scientific professional, I'd stick with professional advice.  Although Dr. Google is an awesome source for good information.

StarLightStar22

karinothing:

I hate when people say they are going to do their own research about vaccines. I want to know what this reasearch is, becuase unless you are going to hold a multi-year scientific study over the course of your pregnancy I am not really sure how you can really do your own research.

 This was actually going to be mine today! Well said

Ess-elle

This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes.

 I went through a struggle to get pregnant.  It was a long time coming and required medical intervention.  

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know.  That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.  

lindylogana

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Yep here come the flames.  My BFF is going through IF meds right now and she is someone who truly deserves to have a baby.  What makes you any better than her?!

BriannaHH

FrauElyse:

I actually agree with this.  A friend of mine is having trouble TTC and she's almost at the point where she's considering adoption; however, her partner is convinced they can keep tapping the scientific overkill for a solution.  She just wants a child...he refuses to raise one that's not his (which is his problem, but it also demonstrates a lot of people's attitudes towards this).

First the whole 'my husband is the boss and I am a submissive wife' thing and now this.

MY opinion - it's time that you emerge from the rock you have been living under and realize that the year is 2011. Get with the program for goodness sake.

 

NicoleeBonsai

cantalopes24:

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

Then why are you having a baby instead of adopting. First of all, it's not people with IF's responsibility to adopt. Second of all, it's not as if someone can just walking into the Baby Store and leave with one that afternoon.

 

rescueddogmom

saffie2011:

karinothing:

I hate when people say they are going to do their own research about vaccines. I want to know what this reasearch is, becuase unless you are going to hold a multi-year scientific study over the course of your pregnancy I am not really sure how you can really do your own research.

 

Yes, yes and yes.  What research could you possibly do?  Unless you are a doctor or medical/scientific professional, I'd stick with professional advice.  Although Dr. Google is an awesome source for good information.

Yes to all of this. Unfortunately, "doing my own research" usually means "finding propaganda websites that support my beliefs and finding like-minded people who will tell me what I'm doing is the right thing for my family."   It certainly doesn't mean "I'm going to peruse the peer-reviewed, scientific and medical literature to find out what the latest research is on vaccines."  

sewpinkgal

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

akabillups

I have never participated in the Unpopular Opinion Thursday threads...so here it goes:

I am probably going to get flamed for this but, I don't like Unpopular Opinion Thursdays...causes too much drama

I like supportive threads best!!!!

NicoleeBonsai

Janimal:

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

'

Here come the flames. 

I have a child through IVF and this baby in my belly is from IVF.  Anyone who says I wasn't meant to carry a child can shove it.

People who say "just adopt" have no idea there is no "just" in adoption.  We began the adoption process and IF treatment process at the same time.  I needed to know there was a child in my future, one way or another. 

Adoption is expensive, difficult, and comes with it's own set of unique problems and heartache.  There are NOT a lot of healthy infants available to adopt.  There are plenty of older children with a multitude of issues that not all people are ready to deal with. 

If you had cancer, you would get treatment right?  You would say, oh, I guess I wasn't mean to live that long.  If you broke your leg, you would get it treated, right?  Not say, oh, I guess I wasn't meant to use that leg.  IF is a MEDICAL condition, and why should it not rank getting treatment? 

Who the feck are you or anyone else to say who should and should not have a baby?  Do you say to women who got pregnant naturally - "you know, you should have adopted, there are so many kids who need homes."  No - you just assume that infertile gals are the ones who should take on the responsbility for those children.

Your thoughtless comments on this matter should never be uttered outloud.  1 in 6 couples deal with IF.  You could offend a LOT of people with your uninformed and thoughtless crap.

could not have said this better myself.

your comments are uninformed and thoughtless. ignorant. asinine. lots of other words come to mind.

you have no clue what it's like. consider yourself lucky. IF is hell.

 

Sugarpea90

Ess-elle:

This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes.

 I went through a struggle to get pregnant.  It was a long time coming and required medical intervention.  

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know.  That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.  

 

I am sorry you struggled to get pregnant. I know it can be hard as I have family that has gone through this heartache. 

However, I do take offense to the bolded.  I cherish and love my daughter with my whole heart. I would give my life for her. Yes, she was planned and conceived naturally but that doesn't make it any less valid.

christen_z1

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

Ditto. My pregnancy was completely planned and this child is just as wanted and loved as much as any child could be.

SLPMel

A Pregnant Pause:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I feel like reproductive technology has gotten so out of control. I truly do understand that infertility can be devastating but - especially in the extreme cases - having a baby is not a right. Maybe there is a reason that you were not meant to carry a child. There are so many children already here who need caring homes...

If you can explain how a doctor who screw up my husbands undescended testicle repair at age 8 some how indicates that I was not supposed to carry a child, I would LOVE to know.  It put him into testicular failure, where he had no motile sperm.  So, please, tell me how that doctor knew at age 8 that I was not meant to carry a child and my DH was not meant to be a father, please explain it to me.  Because I don't understand it, and would love to know.

BriannaHH

jpeazybreezy:

5. My UO is that I don't understand why men don't get the right to terminate their parental rights. My DH is an attorney, and he has so many clients that get shafted by some knuckle head woman that he knocked up. Women havre the right to abort if they chose to, men conversly not only don't get a say as to whether or not the woman aborts (such as NO, don't do it, I want my baby), but also doesn't get to terminate his stake in the pregnancy if he choses.

I understand the letter of the law, it stops men from studding themselves all across the universe without ramifications. But it sucks that while it takes two to make a baby, only one has the power to to unmake it. Since we obviously can't have men forcing women to abort, I think that the law should allow for a man to terminate his parental rights just the same as a woman does.

It'll never happen, and honestly I don't think it would be in the best interest our society, but its just a thought I have. Of course we could solve all of this if ppl just kept their legs closed, but that's a WHOLE nother UO....lol.

I understand where you are coming from but the rationale behind the law is that best interest of the child should determine child support issues.

 It isn't the child's fault that he or she was born and therefore, he or she should not be placed at the disadvantage  of only having one source of support as opposed to two if at all possible.

My thoughts on only one party being able to choose on whether an embryo survives or not is that while it might not be "fair" to the man, only the woman's body bears the pregnancy and so since one party will be treated less fairly than the other no matter what,  the bias should tilt in her favor.

welcometowonderland

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

I don't normally get involved in discussions like this, but THANK YOU sewpinkgal!  I understand the devestation IF causes (my good friend is unable to have children),, but to make that statement because I was able to concieve naturally is so offensive and hurtful. EVERY child concieved, no matter how, is a blessing and a miracle. I DO value, love, respect and adore every one of my children. They make my world a better place and I would be lost without them.

For all you women who have gone through treatments, I have the greatest respect for each and every one of you. It takes strength and courage to get where you are.

Janimal

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

I disagree with Ess-Elle and agree with sewpinkgal.  It's ridiculous to say IF moms love their kids more!  For realz!

My DD is an IVF kid that we struggled like hell to have!  BUT - that doesn't mean I love her more than a mommy who got pg the first night trying.  The method of conception does not affect how we feel about children.  A mother is a mother is a mother, whether conceived by good old fashioned sex, adoption, or with a team of expensive professionals.

I think going through IVF has shaped how I view pregnancy, because I thought I would never get to be pregnant.  So I think I was more aware and had appreciation for the gift of pregnancy more than other pregnant friends of mine.  But we all love our kids just as much no matter what we did to get them. 

Julz629

christen_z1:

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

Ditto. My pregnancy was completely planned and this child is just as wanted and loved as much as any child could be.

I never participate in UO (and not really on this board in general), but this comment is ridiculous.  I will admit that this pregnancy was not entirely planned, but not exactly prevented at the same time.  But I will love this child with every ounce of my being.  How dare you say your child will be loved more than mine?

christen_z1

jholbel:

christen_z1:

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

Ditto. My pregnancy was completely planned and this child is just as wanted and loved as much as any child could be.

I never participate in UO (and not really on this board in general), but this comment is ridiculous.  I will admit that this pregnancy was not entirely planned, but not exactly prevented at the same time.  But I will love this child with every ounce of my being.  How dare you say your child will be loved more than mine?

I'm assuming this comment was directed at Ess-elle?

Fianschneid

welcometowonderland:

sewpinkgal:

Ess-elle:

My UO:  I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned.  How could they not be?

Just as I was offended by someone saying that women with fertility issues don't deserve children, I'm just as offended by the above. Way to sling mud back the other direction. Real nice.

I don't normally get involved in discussions like this, but THANK YOU sewpinkgal!  I understand the devestation IF causes (my good friend is unable to have children),, but to make that statement because I was able to concieve naturally is so offensive and hurtful. EVERY child concieved, no matter how, is a blessing and a miracle. I DO value, love, respect and adore every one of my children. They make my world a better place and I would be lost without them.

For all you women who have gone through treatments, I have the greatest respect for each and every one of you. It takes strength and courage to get where you are.

This! While I have never gone through IF and therefore can't say I understand your pain, I can say that I feel for you and support you decisions.

Just because I was lucky enough (and let's be honest, it really does just come down to luck sometimes) to become pregnant naturally when my husband and I decided we were ready does not mean we don't love and appreciate the amazing gift we've been given.

I can't understand your pain and you can't understand my love for my child.