i had my first baby appt yesterday and the nurse had asked me lots of questions based on genetic diseases, etc.. i know my family history in a snap. no problems..but when it comes to my h's side---he's a boy, and has never cared.
i know some of his dads sibs have diabetes, and other common issues, cancer, etc. major stuff. but one of his dads sister has a disabled daughter. she's older, in her 30's or 40's, and requires full assistance. she can walk, but has trouble communicating and sometimes needs to be fed. she enjoys cartoons characters, and likes to hold small, girly purses..
MIL has mentioned it before, but her only explanation is she "had a fever" when she was a baby, and it caused it. MIL is known to exaggerate, make up stories, etc. so i don't know if this accurate information.
would it be completely rude to ask the disabled cousins siblings what caused her illness? h has about 25+ cousins on this side of the family (and many of them have kids), and she is the only one that requires special attention. should i just let it slide with "fever" and as nothing genetic?
ETA: this cousin was born before MIL met FIL, so her story is only hearsay as well.
Re: asking about someones disability? WWYD?
If there is someone on that side of the family that you are comfortable with, you could simply ask if there are any genetic disorders on h's side of the family that your Dr wants for your charts. If the answer is no, then let it be. You might mention the individual to your dr, but it's more than likely that the disability is not genetic if no one in the family is aware that they are a carrier for a specific disorder.
Yeah, they generally don't care that far out. My DH had a cousin who died before she was 1 from some genetic thing, so DH got tested to see if he was a carrier for it. It was the kind of thing where both parents had to be carriers of this really rare thing, so it was a long shot anyway.
If it's going to bug you though, I would think you could ask one of the cousins you are comfortable with, or your FIL might know more than your MIL?
This; plus like pp said, mostly they are concerned with immediate family.