- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
yankeebaby2
member
what do you think of Babywise?
yankeebaby2
member
https://tatumfam.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/a-typical-day-of-learning-at-home/
I saw this blog linked on another board on the nest and it seemed extreme at 10 months. At 10 months are you leaving the baby alone in his/her room for mandated alone time?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: what do you think of Babywise?
Do you think it's partisan? Like the extreme right would be more favorable to this approach?
With the extreme left being Blossom sleeping on a family futon:)
Part of me wishes I was so organized, and that I could put Noah in his room for 45 minutes for quiet time...then the normal part of me says this woman is effin crazy...how can you punish a child for wanting to be around people?
I don't think she is punishing her child. Independent play is an important part of development. Not something I would do at 10 months, but I don't see the big deal that she did it. I don't really know much about Babywise so I can't speak to that but I don't really see the big whoop about the blog. She seems very organized and type A and her kids seem healthy and happy.
Oh for sure. That is where it's pushed the most.
Love the Mayim Bialik reference.
Republicans push Babywise?
Well no. I meant extreme right as in conservative Christian. I apologize for the error on my part.
No need to apologize. I just didn't understand for a sec. LOL. How do you think conservative Christians push Babywise, Yankee & Emily?
The guy that wrote it is a pastor. I live in the bible belt and this is pretty much considered the "baby bible". As soon as you are pregnant, someone asks "have you read babywise yet?" and you get about 5 copies of it whether or not you are interested.
Edited to fix my spelling.
Maybe it depends on where you live. "Christians" here are all over it. I just assumed it was like that everywhere but maybe not.
I was too angry at the authors' complete lack of common sense and medical knowledge to finish it.
DH is medical, and he was really angry about some of their recommendations when I read a few parts aloud, too (mostly regarding night feedings). Seemed like a very selfish way to parent, imho.
ETA: We're Christian, and I've heard quite a few people at my church talking about Babywise. That's how I received my copy. Being Christian doesn't mean blindly accepting anything any pastor says, and in this case, I don't need someone to tell me what my baby needs as though there is some magic formula.
This. That rigid of scheduling isn't really for me, but I don't think Babywise is evil, and I don't think this woman is doing anything wrong at all with the alone time. If the baby is fed, clean and gets a reasonable amount of interaction that's all that matters.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
DS born 8/2010 - preliminary stages of SN int'l adoption - fur mama to 2 shelter dogs; cloth diapering, babywearing, EBFing mama
I use things from the babywise "teachings", via what I've learned on this blog (https://www.babywisemom.com/). I don't actually follow one book/teaching completely. I do a combo.
I have never left them in their rooms for mandated play time, BUT I do make sure they each have independent play time in the living room (so I'm there, but they play on their own). Also, I have left DD in her room to play if I needed to have a shower to get ready or something.
There was a big article a year or so ago about pediatricians diagnosing "failure to thrive" more often in Babywise followers' kids. When they did the study, they linked it to not listening to your baby's demands for food (skipping late night feedings early on in order to sleep train).
I didn't check out the link, but I think CIO in general is stupid and I would never do it. Since Baby Wise recommends leaving your baby alone to cry at all and pushes rigid scheduling, I doubt I would put any of their other recommendations into our routine.
ETA: No, I never left my kids in their room at 10 months old to 'cry and cry' to force alone time on them. That just seems weird.
She said alone in the room and she specified that it was at 9 or 10 months. Not in a playpen but alone in her room with a gate up.
9:00-9:45 AM ? Alone Time. We began alone time with Anna around 9-10 months, I think. My main reason for beginning alone time (where she plays by herself, in her room) was because she is such a people-person! When she was mobile, she would follow me everywhere, want to be held constantly, and wouldn?t play contently with her toys by herself?she always needed someone with her all the time. At first she cried and cried during alone time, but now sheloves it ? and I think a specific reason she loves it is because we do it the same time everyday, so she knows exactly what to expect. She will now go straight into her room from the bath and wait for me to put the gate up. If you are interested in reading more benefits of alone time, read this post from one of my favorite blogs. : )
I'll leave him in the other room to play while I do dishes or something. Not for long periods of time but he is technically alone, I guess.
When I googled "Babywise" this is the second article that popped up. It may be slightly bias since it is from a Christian source but I think it sums up what the controversy is well.
https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2001/july8/12.20.html
Is their a new book or a new edition? What is the difference between the old teachings and the new teachings?
I have not read the book or the blog, but I for sure have my babies on a pretty strict schedule most days & they do have alone time with their toys and eachother, I think it teaches them to be independent- they can do things without being attached to me or me watching their every move. Granted, the play time is probably about ten minutes while I am doing dishes or cleaning.
I couldn't imagine not having a schedule- It would make my life way more challenging, my luck is they would put themselves on two different schedules.
I would love to do this but I have too much sh!t in my kid's room I don't want him to tear apart. I still don't see anything wrong.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Ok. I pulled out my copy because I distinctly remember some advice in it about night time feedings.
In the parent directed feeding section, it states "Parent directed feeding provides necessary guidance. It establishes a rhythmic structure which helps hunger cycles synchronize with planned sleep and awake times." (page 47) Then it says if you do parent directed feeding, you should expect your 7 WEEK old to sleep 8 hours. Your 12 WEEK old will sleep 9-11 hours each night.
"What Should I Do When My Baby Cries" - pages 150-152 instruct you to listen to the type of cry and allow them to cry for 10 minutes while you do a parental assessment and determine the cause. It also states that most babies have a "fussy time of day."
Chapter 6, on "Establishing Your Baby's Routine" tells you specific lengths of time between feedings depending on how many weeks old they are. (pages 110-113)
Pg 124, in the section titled "How to Drop a Feeding," instructs you to let your child cry up to 45 min.
I think just a few of these tidbits sum up why some parents use this as their guide and go to the extreme of forcing long periods of sleep or they feel like a failure. This could easily be why babywise is linked to failure to thrive.
good to know it wasn't just me!
A friend recommended it to us & it was a HUGE bust!
Clearly, she said that they introduced quiet time because her daughter wanted to always be picked up etc. So to me, that sounds like punishment. I don't want you to want me to pick you up so I am going to put you in your room by yourself so that you can play alone and thus you will learn that people are not around to pick you up and play with you all the time. Maybe the two of you don't see it as punishment but i do
We didn't do Babywise. I've never read it, or anything about it.
That said, most days Jack is on a pretty strict schedule (not Saturdays, because those are my days to do what I want, and that means eff the schedule usually). He gets up on time, he goes down for a nap on time, he eats on time, and he plays, in his room, alone (baby gates in the door frames). He's been on a variation of the same schedule (starting at 9am) since we brought him home from the NICU. Night feedings ended at around 8 weeks. We did independent play in his room alone starting at 11 months. He's healthy, happy, independent, and still trusts and loves us.
So, while I don't know the book specifically, it's apparent that I probably prescribe to the idea of some of its teachings. And what we do works wonders for us.
ETA: I feel compelled to mention that there was never any resistance or "crying and crying" going on with our schedule. If he cries at all (which rarely happens) we go in and talk to him and play for a while. But that's happened, like, twice since January (where he actually cried; we go in and talk and play quite a bit, but it's when we decide to).
She didn't beat the kid. She let her play by herself for a while. I have a very clingy baby and when it is age appropriate I will try to teach him to play by himself for a while. We can just agree to disagree.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
The reason Babywise has a reputation of being bad is because of the old version of it which basically instructed parents to allow their newborns to cry if it was not time for their feeding. It stated that your child needed to learn early on when they would be fed and when they should sleep. I have no problem with independent play by themselves at a certain age(my kids do it and have been doing it for a while). My only issue has ever been with putting your newborn on a schedule so you can do what you want to do. Basically, it screamed to me "Screw the baby. This is about you and your needs." The old version, obviously. I'm not really one to take advice from some guy whose children don't talk to their parents anymore(they also call the earlier method borderline abuse), who has no child development experience, no medical background, and also took a part of his information from another book(Eat, Play, Sleep is taken from the Baby Whisperer).
Lambie- You obviously learned something different in your class. People aren't making things up and we do believe what you learned. Your version sounds a million times better than the original version.
This is about the Ezzos and the way the method was taught originally: " The bottom line is that he is almost militant in their child rearing. They used a harsh cry-it-out method that for some children just won't work beyond allowing the child to hurt him/herself...either physically of emotionally.
They begin the scheduling very early....even mind-washingly early.....women with babies in the NICU found themselves trying to make their babies adhere to a schedule. In fact, the leaders of the group led studies would actually tell women to simply smile and nod when someone (even the pediatric nurses) would tell them to nurse their babies more frequently. But to ignore the recommendations.
When babies began bringing brought in to ERs across the country with failure to thrive...they all one thing in common....Growing Kids God's way. Many were investigated on grounds of neglect and even abuse...for allowing their babies to cry for hours at a time. Neighbors would complain....one nieghbor called the police believing the parents had actually left the baby at home alone.... They hadn't they were simply using the Ezzo method."
Here is some info about the controversy that surrounds the books: https://www.ezzo.info/Articles/ezzo-babywise-controversy-101.htm
Stories from ladies who used the method and had it badly fail: https://www.ezzo.info/voices.htm