Just want to scream

instead I'm crying again.

Back story, this is my 3rd loss. Two before DD, one after. I had a D&C scheduled last week but got the stomach flu and had to cancel. Sunday night I started having strong cramps that turned into an hours worth of contractions as often as once a minute. TMI...I passed so much blood and clots the size of an apple. It was horribly painful and scary and we were on the edge of going to the emergency room.  As awful as it was, I was at least relieved that I could avoid another D&C.

I just went to the doctor and the sac is still there. All of that pain and I passed nothing of the baby. I have to have a D&C this Friday and in the mean time I'm terrified that another bleeding episode will put me the hospital for a blood transfusion. I want this to freaking end.