Anyone see this article on gender and babies?

smacb · May 2011

https://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

I can't imagine....

SoonToBeMrsDTS · May 2011

I think it is so strange. What is are they going to do? Make sure no one else ever changed the kid's diaper and hide every time they need to change him/her? I am really not trying to be judgmental of this family right now....so I'll leave it at that!

emack · May 2011

Bad idea and a terrible way to make a point. As much as they say it is about their kids, it has everything to do with the parents.

kastle · May 2011

I understand what the parents are doing, but it sounds like Jazz is not happy. It's almost like they are throwing their kids to the wolves w/out giving them coping mechanisms to deal with how others will react. I mean, yes, in a perfect world it wouldn't matter if a boy was wearing pink with long hair...but it's not a perfect world and their kids will have to live in it.

I wonder what pronoun they use for Storm. I mean, when they are talking about s/he, what do they say?

Person A: How's Storm sleeping through the night? Is Storm still walking up at 2am? Or is Storm finally settling in?

Mom: Oh, Storm is doing great! Last night Storm didn't wake up until 6am! It was great to get such a long stretch of sleep!

I mean, just using Storm every time you refer to the child is awkward, saying 'she/he' is weird and saying 'it' is cruel.

WinesNot Whines · May 2011

People should not conduct social experiments using their children. If this is such a big deal to the parents, then the mom can wear men's clothes and the dad can wear pink dresses and makeup. But leave the poor kids out of it.

kastle · May 2011

I just saw the artcile was posted on DCUM. A poster had a good point: Instead of making gender no big deal, this kind of does the opposite. I mean, hiding something makes it seem like a big deal.

A better option would probably be to say "Yeah, Storm is a girl. She can wear whatever clothes and play with whatever toys she wants."

Artslvr · May 2011

Indifferent

I have three kids and I don't have the extra time and enery to put into a project like this. In fact, it's kind of making my head hurt thinking about all the ways they have to skirt the issue - like pp said - every single time they talk about their child they have to not use any gender-specific pronouns? That alone gives me a migraine.

bh2720 · May 2011

emack:
Bad idea and a terrible way to make a point. As much as they say it is about their kids, it has everything to do with the parents.

this.

I really feel for those kids...especially poor little Jazz :-(

these people are WAY over thinking this whole thing and it's kind of sickening to me.

leb2be · May 2011

WinesNotWhines:
People should not conduct social experiments using their children. If this is such a big deal to the parents, then the mom can wear men's clothes and the dad can wear pink dresses and makeup. But leave the poor kids out of it.

this

victoria1212 · May 2011

wow.

I had to google 'unschooling.'

amh_navyblue · May 2011

wow. Indifferent

Agree with pps...this is all about the parents...and makes more of a big deal about gender, which seems to be opposite from what they say they are trying to achieve.

MrsNJSwimmer · May 2011

I just read this article before checking the board. The one thing that really bothers me is that they don't mention a pediatrician knowing - are they not taking this kid to the doctor?

Hey Jellisy · May 2011

I read that yesterday and just thought the persons were wacky. I feel for Jazz. I wonder if he wants to be a more typically dressed boy but wants to please his parents.

tracy042206 · May 2011

Ditto Wine and Kastle. I would rather encourage that the kid can play/dress etc as anything they want rather than hiding the gender. As parents THEY have the biggest influence on the kid and if they don;t want the kid bombarded with gender stereotypes they should combat it, not hide/ignore it.

zeptattoo · May 2011

Before I read this article I thought the baby was not born yet. We had to keep the gender from my dad b/c we wanted to be suprised at the hospital, but everyone else wanted to know so we had to put the word out not to tell him.

But this? I see what they are trying to accomplish, but I don't think it will work.

2vthokies · May 2011

This is just such a bad idea. Fine, refuse to allow your kids to fall in to gender stereotypes, but to ignore their gender? They are a certain gender. Period. If later in life they feel like they were born the wrong gender, then empower them enough to make the change. But to pretend that there are no differences in gender, to the assume that you can't overcome/ignore the stereotypes of your gender, is just nuts. I grew up the oldest of three girls but from an early age I was told I could do or be whatever I wanted in my life, regardless of my gender. I am a woman working in a heavily male-dominated field. I have never once believed that I couldn't do it because I was a woman and I've never let comments about my gender (as it relates to my field) lower my self confidence. But at the same time I am proud to be a woman in my field and paving the way for my girls to do what they want in life. That's the lesson you want to teach - be proud and confident in who you are and don't let world bring you down - no matter what gender you are.

MrsPhilDunphy · May 2011

I find it hard to take anyone seriously who names their children Storm and Jazz. Those are cat names, not people names.

JKM416 · May 2011

WinesNotWhines:
People should not conduct social experiments using their children. If this is such a big deal to the parents, then the mom can wear men's clothes and the dad can wear pink dresses and makeup. But leave the poor kids out of it.

This was my thought. If you're sending a message about how gender doesn't matter, then live the experiment yourself. Set an example for your kids if it means that much to you; don't make them lead the charge.

Also, I'm confused about why it's so bad to grow up as a girl or a boy. There are great things about being each and opportunities you're given (like Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts...neither is better than the other). It's our job as parents to make sure our kids don't feel limited by what they are, because nowdays you aren't (at least not nearly as much as previous generations).

These parents are putting a lot more emphasis than they need to on their kids' anatomy...all of the secrets, complications, judgments, etc. just can't be healthy for their childhoods. Despite lingering stereotypes and cultural expectations, most things aren't a big deal until you make them a big deal. Like I don't like that DD is getting more into Disney Princesses, but whatever...they make her happy. As long as she continues to enjoy art, soccer, music, Mickey Mouse, playgrounds, friends, puzzles, dressing up, and the dozens of other things that make her happy, I consider her a well-rounded, well-adjusted little kid. Probably much more so than Jaz, Storm, the infamous "Pop" from Sweden, etc.

I have a girl and a boy, and I grew up with a younger brother. I was a Psych major and took plenty of child psychology and psychology of gender classes. I'm a firm believer, both from what I've studied and seen in my own life, that boys and girls are different. Nurture only goes so far; you can't deny nature. And you shouldn't - it's not a bad thing.

BabyHatch · May 2011

leb2be:
WinesNotWhines:
People should not conduct social experiments using their children. If this is such a big deal to the parents, then the mom can wear men's clothes and the dad can wear pink dresses and makeup. But leave the poor kids out of it.

this

Word.

Artslvr · May 2011

Another thought: Isn't it more empowering/social change-y to embrace your gender while breaking gender stereotypes? As in "I am Woman, Hear me Roar, Now Watch Me Become an Astronaut." That so much cooler than being an androgynous astronaut - what would be 'out of the box' about that?

kastle · May 2011

I guess this also brings up the difference between gender (a social construct) and sex (what's in your pants). Basically, they are withholding information on Storm's sex...is s/he male or female? Beyond that, like Artslvr said, it's about whether you want to embrace the stereotype that goes with your sex...or not. I mean, as far as I can tell, hipster boys & girls wear the same clothes!

Sofka · May 2011

someone posted this article on another board last week, I usually try not to judge other parents, but these parents put themselves out there to be judged and they are freaks, and worse - they are making their innocent kids into freaks! I feel so bad for a 2 and a 5 y.o. who are expected to keep a secret! and WTH is unschooling?? is this the kind of conversation they hope to have with their teenager: "son, let's do trigonometry," "no, I want to go to my room and look at playboy," "oh, OK, well, that's what unschooling is all about." I don't understand their complain that parents make too many decisions for their kids - that's what parents are supposed to do!!

poor kids!

Anyone see this article on gender and babies?

Re: Anyone see this article on gender and babies?

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