Flame Free Friday Confessions!

lily87 · April 2011

mrsmikey:
lily87:

2. To the poster who asked why people who are against circumcision give people who do it for religious reasons a free pass...I don't think this is illogical depending on why you are against it. I am against it for my son. I don't care what other people do. And, the post yesterday asked for opinions and in particular to explain why you came to the decision for or against. Now, I know no one is necessarily singling me out, but when a post asks me how I came to a decision, I am going to give the full explanation. I think I wrote it without judgment...but obviously, if you disagree on the issue with me you might infer from what I am saying that I would be judgmental about your reasons for your choice.

For example, my main reason was that the medical community says that there are no significant medical benefits to the procedure and don't recommend it. Essentially that it is an unnecessary surgery. If I say that I don't want to put my child through an unnecessary surgery...then one could infer that I am saying if you choose to circumcise that I think that is what you are doing (even though I didn't say that). You can read into any opinion on any topic this way. So, unless someone blatantly tells you that you are mutilating your child or is being purposely offensive to you in particular, I think it is strange to get upset when someone is expressing their opinion which is different and therefore at odds with your own. Because we all do it, every day on practically every subject on this board.

And, like I said, I don't care what other people choose to do. I just know I don't want to do it based on the reasons I listed which were what were requested by the OP.

In terms of the religion thing, because I don't care if other people do it...I guess I would say that, yes. I think it is an unnecessary, cosmetic surgery and that is the biggest reason why I am against it. But, for someone who is religious...it is necessary to them (while it may not be to me). If this is a major tenant of their religion, who am I to say it is wrong? But, since it is not a tenant of the Catholic faith of which I am (and who incidentally have been against it for centuries- though plenty of American Catholics get circumcised), I don't find it necessary from that perspective and am making my judgment off of science and medical advice. Does that make any sense?

Finally, I don't understand how people can say they find uncircumcised penis' gross and then say they have never seen one? A pic doesn't seem like it would be that reliable for such a blanket statement. Personally, I think that is social custom coming out.

That was me, and I think you're misunderstanding what I was saying. I wasn't saying you shouldn't be able to explain your reasoning behind not circumcising. I don't care what other people do either. But alot of people do. Those are the people I'm referring to. The people that say "I don't circ, and I think those that do are cruel". Then someone says "well I circ based on our religion" and the person just says ok and moves on. That's the logic I don't understand. You are not one of those people.

If religion is part of your decision (either way) that's fine. I didn't say that isn't a justified explanation. I just meant if you thinks it's a horrific crime (and some people on here do) then when someone used the religious reason to back their decision, it doesn't make sense that the anti-circ person should let it go.

Again, only talking about those people who DO judge others for circ'ing.

ETA: this isn't even necessarily about yesterday's debate, I wasn't even around for that. just something that's always bugged me about the circ debate

Oh ok. I think we agree. For what it is worth, DH feels this is mutilation and doesn't give people who cite religious reasons a free pass. He would agree with you. If you think it is wrong, then it is wrong for everyone.

He and I just have varying degrees on our reasons for choosing not to do it.

sunflower8710 · April 2011

mrsmikey:
Azrayla:
sunflower8710:

I am terrified for our anatomy scan in T minus 5 days.

I am terrified for Labor and Delivery. I only want DH and my mom in there, but we have a plethora of people who think they will in there and I have no idea how to broach the subject.

I don't feel well at all today and have to work this evening, I should be cleaning our disgusting/neglected house (been in exam mode for awhile at the library till late), but I have vertigo and a tummy ache and DH will probably end up doing some dishes when he gets home from work later.
for the hospital.. I was afraid of the people coming in and out as well and just it as a whole.. but really it isn't a lot of people.. I had one nurse when I arrived then she switched out with a different lady.. so it was my mom dh nurse and dr that saw my girly bits even when I got an epi I was covered up .. and the baby nurses didn't bother me..

Honestly hate to say it but I agree with the people that say when you're in the moment, you really wont care..

I think she's talking about people she knows. Family members and all.

Just say no. Don't worry about hurt feelings or making people mad. This is not something you compromise on. Tell them they can wait in the waiting room, or stay at home and visit later.

DS was born early, before we really had a birth plan, and we hadn't told anyone about who we wanted in the room or anything like that. So when MIL got to the hospital, she just walked right into the room. We said hello, and promptly sent her out to the waiting room. Really didn't cross my mind how she'd feel about that, and really didn't care.

Tell the nurses not to let anyone in, and they won't. Tell your MIL only 2 people are allowed in the room and make it the hospital's fault if you want to. I'm sure there is a limit to how many people they allow in there, but it doesn't matter.

Aaaah Thank you! That is incredible advice! DH and I have been talking about this for weeks and we have been trying to figure it out. I even asked my mom for advice yesterday and this is the best we've gotten! Seems so obvious, but thank you sooo much!

lily87 · April 2011

MrsMichelleB:
lily87:
MrsMichelleB:
lily87:
1. To the poster who was surprised Kate didn't get the title "princess", I think it was Michele...that is because the title isn't appropriate. By marrying Prince William, she is technically a princess- Her Royal Highness, Princess William of Wales. (In addition to being a Duchess, Baroness and Countess). But, she can't have the title Princess Kate- because she was not born a royal. The only princesses with the title Princess and then their name are the Crown Princesses Margaret, Beatrice and Eugenie...but they were born royalty. The Queen's other sons' wives don't have the title Princess either. And, Diana was not a crown princess but was officially the Princess of Wales. People did call her Princess Di, but that was not her official title.
It was me that was very confused on this. So when we talk about her and the media talks about her, will / should it be Princess or Duchess that she is referred to as? When William takes throne as King will she be called Queen or just her Royal Highness?
For now, when she is talked about officially she will be referred to as the Duchess of Cambridge. Depending on the media outlet, they will probably not be official and call her Princess Catherine. I feel like only very accurate media sources will bother to get it right. Technically she is a princess, so it isn't wrong in theory. It is just the wrong title. But, that is what they did with Diana, so I wouldn't be surprised if they do it with her.
If William takes the throne, she will be Her Royal Highness, the Queen Consort, so not the Queen of England, because William will be the head of state and not her. The title Queen of England is only if the Queen is the head of state like in the current situation with Queen Elizabeth II being the descendant and not her husband Prince Philip. But, people will call her Queen Catherine and drop the consort suffix. She will also still be a Duchess, Baroness and Countess.
Prince Philip is still called that because he was also born a Prince of Greece and Denmark.

Holy Royal confusion. lol. I'll probably be paging you with more questions as I think of them.

Sadly, this is what my advanced degrees in history are good for! lol. I was getting pissed at the coverage because the broadcasters didn't know who the people were and just kept panning to Elton John. lol. Maybe there is a career path for me yet...royal commentator!

mrsmikey · April 2011

I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

mrsmikey · April 2011

lily87:

Oh ok. I think we agree. For what it is worth, DH feels this is mutilation and doesn't give people who cite religious reasons a free pass. He would agree with you. If you think it is wrong, then it is wrong for everyone.

He and I just have varying degrees on our reasons for choosing not to do it.

I think we do I could tell by your response that I was misunderstood. It's all good. Even though your DH and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum regarding this, at least I would respect his stance since he thinks its wrong across the board.

FWIW - I have the same issue with the "second shower" debate. Either it's tacky or it's not, there shouldn't be any loopholes for opposite gender or half grown children.

Azrayla · April 2011

Totally read that post wrong.. thanks mrsmikey! sorry speed read.. didn't feel like quoting either.. Sorry sunflower! Nurses are friends and will kick out anyone you don't want.. they were willing to kick out my step dad but I didn't care he couldn't see anything anyway.. gay need to stop sneak bumping at work.. not as good at it as mikey is.. psh.

lily87 · April 2011

mrsmikey:
I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

What irritates me is the comments about the expense. This was paid by the Royal Family and the Middletons who are millionaires. The taxpayers only paid for the security- which they always do with the Royal Family...and that would have cost that much no matter where they were married.

twinkle_toez69 · April 2011

JenniferAnnes:
aimeewinn:
JenniferAnnes:
Azrayla:
Okay didn't wanna say it in the opinion poll but I think uncircd penises are weird/gross looking (not that vaginas are pretty either) but there, I said it..

I don't have anything else right now.. need to clock into work I hate that I work on fun days (wed and fri)

DH is uncircumsized and I honestly didn't even know until he brought it up after we had been dating for 6 months. When its, um, "excited" you can't tell a difference at all. Even now when he gets out of the shower, it doesn't really look different to me.

Ok,I have absolutely no experience with this but one of the reasons I heard that boys should be circumsized is because when one of my friends dated this guy who wasn't and she said it was hard to give him a BJ. She had to keep pulling the skin back to get to the head. LOL. That's not why I'm choosing it but I always remember that story and how much she said she hated doing it because of that. I think the cleanliness is the best reason.

Haha um, yeah I've never had that issue...the skin is already "pulled back" or stretched out so it's not in the way. I love how it's never "TMI" on this board

DH was born in Canada and from what I understand, circumsicion is far less popular up there. We've talked about it and as long as it is properly cleaned/cared for, 99% of the time there are no issues. If LO is a boy, he will be uncircumsized.

No no - circumcision is not far less popular here! lol! Currently the 'health units' arenot recommending that it be done, because they consider it to be unecessary pain to the baby...however that has changed SO much over the years. I know that in my generation at least - it was the norm to have it done, and I think it's still that way. DH is done and my brothers (don't ask me how I know this eww) are done...I would think the stats are pretty much the same here in Canada as they are in the states. The only thing that may be different now is that it's not covered by the federal health plan anymore - so you have to make an app't and pay yourself, but this is recent and it's not a lot of money...it's considered almost like a 'cosmetic' procedure, which is why it's not covered. I'm definitely having LO done! Just a personal preference.

mrsmikey · April 2011

lily87:
mrsmikey:

I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

What irritates me is the comments about the expense. This was paid by the Royal Family and the Middletons who are millionaires. The taxpayers only paid for the security- which they always do with the Royal Family...and that would have cost that much no matter where they were married.

Right. There was actually a really good reporter on the channel I was watching that talked about this. I'm glad he did, hopefully that will kill some of the critics.

I have a question you can probably answer though. I keep hearing Kate referred to as a commoner. I know she is obviously not royalty (not before today anyway) but they make it sound like a rags to riches thing. She came from a pretty wealthy family no? Definitely not what I consider a commoner. And even though I realize technically she is, that's not how the media is spinning it. If I'm correct in my thinking, that irritates me too.

lily87 · April 2011

mrsmikey:
lily87:
mrsmikey:

I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

What irritates me is the comments about the expense. This was paid by the Royal Family and the Middletons who are millionaires. The taxpayers only paid for the security- which they always do with the Royal Family...and that would have cost that much no matter where they were married.

Right. There was actually a really good reporter on the channel I was watching that talked about this. I'm glad he did, hopefully that will kill some of the critics.

I have a question you can probably answer though. I keep hearing Kate referred to as a commoner. I know she is obviously not royalty (not before today anyway) but they make it sound like a rags to riches thing. She came from a pretty wealthy family no? Definitely not what I consider a commoner. And even though I realize technically she is, that's not how the media is spinning it. If I'm correct in my thinking, that irritates me too.

When they say commoner they don't mean just not royalty but her family is also not aristocratic. They are "new money." Self-made millionaires who own an online party planning shop. Prior to that, her parents were flight attendants for British airways. So, in the UK this is solidly middle class.

This kind of thing gets confusing to people here in the US, because we don't have an aristocracy. We are supposed to be a "classless" society. The term middle class here can mean anything ...and IMO is kind of meaningless. But, there it doesn't have to do with how much money you have, but rather who you are related to.

For example, if you ever watch period pieces, they will refer to certain men as gentlemen. That isn't just anyone but would be a member of the aristocracy so the people who traditionally owned land and served often served in the House of Lords. Someone like that historically would not marry someone who worked in commerce and trade even if they had more money.

So, she is a commoner. But, her parents have money. There was a lot of press about the fact that her mom descends from blue collar miners. But, the press really doesn't like her mother because they think she is a pushy, social climber.

KBaker421 · April 2011

Marettie:
Pina:

I am not looking for replys to this to disprove my theory..... It annoys me to no end that we are now seeing posts daily and from people 18 and 19 weeks saying that my DH felt the baby kicking from the outside the other day. I was talking to my doctor and researching it myself and this is highly unlikely to happen before 24 weeks or so. The baby is not strong enough to be felt from the outside.

That really bums me out! I had convinced myself it was going to happen soon the way LO has been moving. I actually wanted to do a clicky poll for when people could feel it from the outside, but I have no idea how to do that...Oh well...DH can wait a few more weeks!

Don't worry, it's totally not true. DH has felt kicking on 3 different occasions. and i highly doubt we're imagining it

Pina · April 2011

KBaker421:
Marettie:
Pina:

I am not looking for replys to this to disprove my theory..... It annoys me to no end that we are now seeing posts daily and from people 18 and 19 weeks saying that my DH felt the baby kicking from the outside the other day. I was talking to my doctor and researching it myself and this is highly unlikely to happen before 24 weeks or so. The baby is not strong enough to be felt from the outside.

That really bums me out! I had convinced myself it was going to happen soon the way LO has been moving. I actually wanted to do a clicky poll for when people could feel it from the outside, but I have no idea how to do that...Oh well...DH can wait a few more weeks!

Don't worry, it's totally not true. DH has felt kicking on 3 different occasions. and i highly doubt we're imagining it

That is great for you, but I am not wrong. Ask your dr. and do the research online or in the literature. The average for feeling a baby kick on the outside is 24 weeks. Of course there are going to be exceptions, but its not likely for most people.

Lissa832 · April 2011

Pina:
I am not looking for replys to this to disprove my theory..... It annoys me to no end that we are now seeing posts daily and from people 18 and 19 weeks saying that my DH felt the baby kicking from the outside the other day. I was talking to my doctor and researching it myself and this is highly unlikely to happen before 24 weeks or so. The baby is not strong enough to be felt from the outside.

I know you don't want comments, but your research and your doctor are both wrong. I physically SAW my belly jump daily by 20 weeks with DS. I have seen this baby move sporadically as well.

bre86ann · April 2011

nikkimouse323:

I have a friend who desperately lacks common sense. I posted on Facebook last week that I had scheduled my childbirth classes. She comes back with a post, "Well, I never took any classes. Good luck though."

I wrote back explaining that I am planning on a natural, no medication delivery. She responds with, "Oh it doesn't hurt, I would think the contractions would be the only painful part."

HELLO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!

So I asked her if she had her baby naturally, her response, "Yes, but with an epidural."

UGH! I SEE STUPID PEOPLE!

LMAO

I hate stupid people.... actually these days I hate people in general lol

Pina · April 2011

LISSA832:

Wow, not only have you felt it from the outside, but you have seen it too? That's great for you and your super strong kicker in there....and all at less than 20 weeks? My post said it is unlikely most people will feel it from the outside early on disproving the abundance of posts on here saying they are feeling it. on the outside. Do your own research and talk to your own dr. You are out of the norm.

JaninneAlvarado · April 2011

My FFFC is that when I see a very "touchy" subject I will cast my vote but will not return to read comments or read fights. I have no problems with the women on this board and would not like to. I think that a poll is great. I can see where the majority is, and the comments I think are more for those that are uneducated. Obviously, some people really do study up on these things like circumcisions. However, once you've made a decision and stick to it, it's done and over with. Which is why, I never get into battle mode. There are some opinions I agree with and others I do not, but with that being said I will NOT fight with another pregnant women over their opinions or choices. This is a supportive community filled with great women. Not a bar, filled with drunken opinions. (which is sometimes how I feel when I stumble upon arguing) HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!!!

bre86ann · April 2011

heateacher:

I'm kind of waiting for the moment when I start loving being pregnant. I feel TERRIBLE about this. But so far it feels more annoying than anything - annoying having to pee all the time, annoying that I can't wear my favorite things, annoying not being able to have sex in favorite positions...(although we may have found a new favorite, thanks to womancake's post!)

And don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to be having a baby. But I think that right now the worry and anxiety part is hitting me and along with it I'm just kind of not finding being pregnant very fun.

I hate saying this.

My philosphy for the past 3 years (and past 3 pregnancies---one in the same) is that anyone who tells you they love being pregnant is an effing lier lol.

twinkle_toez69 · April 2011

JaninneAlvarado:
My FFFC is that when I see a very "touchy" subject I will cast my vote but will not return to read comments or read fights. I have no problems with the women on this board and would not like to. I think that a poll is great. I can see where the majority is, and the comments I think are more for those that are uneducated. Obviously, some people really do study up on these things like circumcisions. However, once you've made a decision and stick to it, it's done and over with. Which is why, I never get into battle mode. There are some opinions I agree with and others I do not, but with that being said I will NOT fight with another pregnant women over their opinions or choices. This is a supportive community filled with great women. Not a bar, filled with drunken opinions. (which is sometimes how I feel when I stumble upon arguing) HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!!!

I totally agree! Let's keep the "Flame Free" in Flame Free Friday ) We should start a new rule that during FFCF unless you're going to ditto someone's quote you arent allowed to respond with a disagreeing opinion!

Now having said that - that troll wit the bad 'grammEr' and 'spelllling'...dun no wat to do wit er...maibe we all blockz the gurlll?" LOL but something needs to be done. It's getting irritating!

bre86ann · April 2011

jen102279:
Traycee1242:

I had to call poison control not once, but TWICE this week.

On Wednesday, we found DS eating my TUMS (I stupidly left them out in the family room)

And today, I went to the bathroom and came out and he had climbed up on the chair, got into the diaper bag, opened the Pepcid Complete and was happily chowing down.

I feel like such a bad Mom.

FWIW he's absolutely fine... Only had 1, maybe 2. And poison control said it's fine.

wow, your little man sure likes antacids Glad he's ok!!

Maybe he just had a little heart burn and was taking care of it.

ETABOADA · April 2011

My FFFC: My drive for intercourse has been down but my drive for "pleasing my husband" by "other means" of pleasure have not! It's actually kind of gross but I am hugely turned on by my husband ALL THE TIME and always just want to do dirty, dirty things TO HIM! Every single day!!! I think its really odd seeing as how before I got pregnant this wasn't the case. He is really enjoying this part of pregnancy right now Embarrassed

bre86ann · April 2011

greengirl09:
One more! I'm a waitress, and lately my patience for rude people is at an all-time low. I've started ignoring rude people- as in, not looking at that person while they're spouting off nonsense and pretending like I don't hear them while I instead focus on their more polite dining companion. I will not respond to rudeness because I honestly don't give a flying fVck. My tips are just as good, and I'm instead focusing on serving my nicer customers...I don't know why I didn't start doing this earlier!

I LOVE this. I book parties at the restaurant I work at and hostess during the day (instead of sitting at the computer waiting for the phone to ring) and I have been ignoring people like crazy. One b!tch had the nerve to snap her fingers at me to get my attention and I kept right on walking. AND I LOVE being able to tell people "no" lol. "Can we sit over there instead?" What I really want to say is "why the F do I have a job if you're just going to sit where you want?" But instead I have to say "yes you can, but just so you know your server hasn't had the chance to bring drinks to the last table I sat because THEY JUST SAT" even that isn't an acceptable respsone (I give it anyway). I'm supposed to just say yes and smile.

My favorite is when we're full and someone asks for a booth after they're already sitting at their table and can plainly see that not only are there no booths available, but that there are no other tables available. "well, you can ask table 4 if you can join them, they might be okay with it." what do you think lady???? I'm hiding the last booth from you???

teenybean · April 2011

I think that if porn wasn't so prevalent people would have a lot less opinion of what nice vaginas and penises look like. I think its disturbing that people have so much time to care about the asthetics of such things and that vaginoplasty even exists for any reason other than outright deformity/dysfunction. I also think that the trend of bare parts (brazilians etc.) and the people who dig them are semi-strange for being turned on by what looks like pre-pubescence. Do what you want, feel how you will but stop spending so much time thinking about it and get your self-esteem fixed by getting out of the house and helping others not obsessing about how your junk looks, how your man's junk looks, what you each think about each others junk and or how you should change/leave your children's junk.

italnprncss78 · April 2011

lily87:
mrsmikey:
lily87:
mrsmikey:

I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

What irritates me is the comments about the expense. This was paid by the Royal Family and the Middletons who are millionaires. The taxpayers only paid for the security- which they always do with the Royal Family...and that would have cost that much no matter where they were married.

Right. There was actually a really good reporter on the channel I was watching that talked about this. I'm glad he did, hopefully that will kill some of the critics.

I have a question you can probably answer though. I keep hearing Kate referred to as a commoner. I know she is obviously not royalty (not before today anyway) but they make it sound like a rags to riches thing. She came from a pretty wealthy family no? Definitely not what I consider a commoner. And even though I realize technically she is, that's not how the media is spinning it. If I'm correct in my thinking, that irritates me too.

When they say commoner they don't mean just not royalty but her family is also not aristocratic. They are "new money." Self-made millionaires who own an online party planning shop. Prior to that, her parents were flight attendants for British airways. So, in the UK this is solidly middle class.

This kind of thing gets confusing to people here in the US, because we don't have an aristocracy. We are supposed to be a "classless" society. The term middle class here can mean anything ...and IMO is kind of meaningless. But, there it doesn't have to do with how much money you have, but rather who you are related to.

For example, if you ever watch period pieces, they will refer to certain men as gentlemen. That isn't just anyone but would be a member of the aristocracy so the people who traditionally owned land and served often served in the House of Lords. Someone like that historically would not marry someone who worked in commerce and trade even if they had more money.

So, she is a commoner. But, her parents have money. There was a lot of press about the fact that her mom descends from blue collar miners. But, the press really doesn't like her mother because they think she is a pushy, social climber.

Lily87 you are amazing. I could read your information all day. So very interesting. Many things I never knew. Thank you!

lily87 · April 2011

italnprncss78:
lily87:
mrsmikey:
lily87:
mrsmikey:

I'm offended at the number of people who are offended by the Royal Wedding and all the attention and coverage it's getting. Do you not realize what a enormous deal this is? I realize we are not in England, but still! This is a proud day in history! Whether you care or not, I just don't get how people don't get it. This is HUGE around the world!

It can't even be compared to a celebrity wedding like how some people are making it out to be. Celebrity =/= Royalty. I realize we don't have royalty in this country, so maybe that's why people aren't getting it. But still...

What irritates me is the comments about the expense. This was paid by the Royal Family and the Middletons who are millionaires. The taxpayers only paid for the security- which they always do with the Royal Family...and that would have cost that much no matter where they were married.

Right. There was actually a really good reporter on the channel I was watching that talked about this. I'm glad he did, hopefully that will kill some of the critics.

I have a question you can probably answer though. I keep hearing Kate referred to as a commoner. I know she is obviously not royalty (not before today anyway) but they make it sound like a rags to riches thing. She came from a pretty wealthy family no? Definitely not what I consider a commoner. And even though I realize technically she is, that's not how the media is spinning it. If I'm correct in my thinking, that irritates me too.

When they say commoner they don't mean just not royalty but her family is also not aristocratic. They are "new money." Self-made millionaires who own an online party planning shop. Prior to that, her parents were flight attendants for British airways. So, in the UK this is solidly middle class.

This kind of thing gets confusing to people here in the US, because we don't have an aristocracy. We are supposed to be a "classless" society. The term middle class here can mean anything ...and IMO is kind of meaningless. But, there it doesn't have to do with how much money you have, but rather who you are related to.

For example, if you ever watch period pieces, they will refer to certain men as gentlemen. That isn't just anyone but would be a member of the aristocracy so the people who traditionally owned land and served often served in the House of Lords. Someone like that historically would not marry someone who worked in commerce and trade even if they had more money.

So, she is a commoner. But, her parents have money. There was a lot of press about the fact that her mom descends from blue collar miners. But, the press really doesn't like her mother because they think she is a pushy, social climber.

Lily87 you are amazing. I could read your information all day. So very interesting. Many things I never knew. Thank you!

Thanks lady. I am getting my Phd in European history...and actually started out with a focus in English history (now it is Irish and French) so, this stuff is right up my alley! lol

That said, my mom is a huge Anglophile. She actually took the day off to watch it on tv, and she never takes time off, lol. So maybe I just inherited an interest in this!

laurynfaerie · April 2011

My confession is that I really don't want to go to dinner with FI's auntie tonight. She used to be my favorite member of his family, because she's way more laid back than the rest of them, but when he told her we were expecting she said to not tell his parents, and to get rid of it.

So I really don't want to go, but I am anyway because he loves his family and we don't see any of them more than once a month. And I don't want to stay home alone tonight.

sonflower1427 · April 2011

This is our plan, too! So glad I'm not the only one!

ETA: to the poster who mentioned keeping her homebirth a secret. I suck at replying to these things.

lily87 · April 2011

laurynfaerie:
My confession is that I really don't want to go to dinner with FI's auntie tonight. She used to be my favorite member of his family, because she's way more laid back than the rest of them, but when he told her we were expecting she said to not tell his parents, and to get rid of it.

So I really don't want to go, but I am anyway because he loves his family and we don't see any of them more than once a month. And I don't want to stay home alone tonight.

OMG that is absolutely terrible! Why on earth would she say that to you? I am so sorry. I wouldn't want to go either.

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