Ladies, I need your help. Big time.

GypsyEsq · April 2011

schmoodle:

Oh lordy. I'm still of the "it's not over till it's over" school and would like to see this next beta before calling it done, but I get that it seems very unlikely at this point.

You know what my view was last time...now, I'm not sure. If it was possible, I guess I'd say try and ride out the warranty, if only to get the $ back and have it to use towards a GC if need be, but I don't know if it makes sense or you can stim anymore after that ($, age, etc.) if you used all the frosties in the warranty. In which case I guess I'm leaning towards GC. I don't know how you can handle these losses over and over anymore and worry that the warranty program may just mean you having to go through this 3 more times (or however many). Sigh. This sucks and I'm thinking those 2 words you don't want to hear.

Oh T, this is just shitty. But I quote Schmoodle because I agree with her. I don't know that going through this anymore is worth the $ back. If you can get a deal with your doc where your embies go to a GC then that's what I'd do. Then we'll all get our drinks on while your GC gets you that take home baby.

Sending my hugs, whether you want them or not.

TakYelgif · April 2011

IMO and this is just me I'd continue with the IVF program. If that does not work at leats you have back the 15k and then I'd eith put it towards adoption or gestational carrier.

I am really sorry this cycle did not work Sad

hclavalley · April 2011

Magoy:
First off... it's not over, until officially over. So, let's see what the next beta is.
++++++++
If it's not good, then I'd do this next: "I'm inclined to add some thyroid meds, stay on the steroids and IVIG, and do another FET asap. If that doesn't work, detox and literally do the most natural FET we can."
Then, I would definitely exhaust the warranty program. If that doesn't work, you'll have your 15k to go the adoption/facilitator route.
We've also thought about going the gestational carrier route, but it's not my favorite option. Like you, the genetic link isn't that important to me, and it's still not a sure bet for success.
I'm sorry you're still on this roller coaster. (sorry had to say that!!)

Tracie, this is what I would do if I were in your shoes, because in the end, either you have a baby, or you have $15k back to go towards adoption or a g.c. just a thought, but something to consider.

njdcgirl · April 2011

And just another thought about extinguishing the IVF program first...IF you have to do the two more fresh cycles to get your $$ back, you said that it cost you 5K each time to stim....well, that's 10K in meds to only get 15K back...and good lord, if it came all the way to getting your $$ back that would mean additional failed cycles or additional losses. Honestly, that just breaks my heart to think about.

So, if you carry on DO IT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS GOING TO WORK (b/c you are going to figure out this mystery, damn it!), not because you feel like you have to in order to get your $$ back so you can move onto something else.

ETA: ok, just re-read a little closer, and you'd only be out about 5K if you continue the warrenty...but I stand by my second paragraph.

And, I think you could still dig up the $$ for the GC or adoption. Didn't you post about buying a camper or a new boat this summer?

It sucks. Bad. I wish you didn't have to make these decisions at all.

Carrie25 · April 2011

That just sucks...you need a drink! Well, I would probably do another fresh IVF cycle with the IVIG sooner. If that doesn't work, do one for FET. Then I would move onto a GC. If you could swing it, I would also do PGD. I know it's so freaking expensive, but it might give you some answers.

desabean · April 2011

Hmmm. (first, I am sorry, but I know you don't want those, but, well-- I am)

I so totally get what you are saying. I'm tired so I know you must be exhausted.

I *think* that if I were you, I would stick with my warranty. That's why you did it. I don't know much about your medical stuff and why the steroids didn't work (if they didn't or if you just feel like they didn't since the embies didn't stick) but unfortunately, sometimes even the perfect cycles don't work-- isn't there a chance that is what happened (yes-- it is a total fvck job since you deserve to have even the sh!ttiest cycle ever work), but could it be that this is just statistics rearing its ugly head and giving it another shot could be the ONE??

Looks like you got a million responses so I'll be interested in what other people say and of course, we will cheer you one no matter what your decision is (even if you keep it on the DL again, we'll cheer you on the DL ; ) . It is so overwhelming to figure out what these "signs" are trying to tell us. Hang in there!!

queenbone · April 2011

Ugh! Heartbreaking and frustrating. I'm Catholic too so I can sympathize with the guilt. I don't know what the right answer is, but at this point I think your husband's suggestion is a good one. You are already financially invested in the IVF warranty, you may as well stay mentally and physically invested in it as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss if that is what it ends up being.

kme930 · April 2011

My heart aches for you. This totally blows.

For what it's worth, if I were in your shoes, I would probably exhaust the warranty and then go with a GC for some number of frosties, but that is me sitting here at my desk at work, not at all in your shoes. I know I would want to give all of the frosties a chance, and I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about how Ava was the result of a successful pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I can only imagine how terribly difficult this decision must be.

DavezWife · April 2011

njdcgirl:

And just another thought about extinguishing the IVF program first...IF you have to do the two more fresh cycles to get your $$ back, you said that it cost you 5K each time to stim....well, that's 10K in meds to only get 15K back...and good lord, if it came all the way to getting your $$ back that would mean additional failed cycles or additional losses. Honestly, that just breaks my heart to think about.

So, if you carry on DO IT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS GOING TO WORK (b/c you are going to figure out this mystery, damn it!), not because you feel like you have to in order to get your $$ back so you can move onto something else.

ETA: ok, just re-read a little closer, and you'd only be out about 5K if you continue the warrenty...but I stand by my second paragraph.

And, I think you could still dig up the $$ for the GC or adoption. Didn't you post about buying a camper or a new boat this summer?

It sucks. Bad. I wish you didn't have to make these decisions at all.

I love ya right back, sista. I'm sure you said what others were thinking. (and yes to clarify, we have 5 frosties, one fresh, THOSE frosties left. In that order. IF not live baby, we get money back) I would bet $1M that if at the end, we're left with 2 frosties standing and good GC waiting, we'll make a deal to use her instead of me, costing us a horse a peice.

The boat/camper thing... Davez brought that up last nite when I said doing another fresh will cost $5K in meds. (as he was looking at campers online, actually.) He said "we're so deep in this chit, $5K means nothing anymore. We'll figure it out." I wanted to scream "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT CAMPERS THEN???" but I figured 2 things - that cat is S-M-A-R-T with money. He won't make a poor fiscal decision. He just won't. I'm going to let him hunt away, and if he wants to buy some chitarse camper for us this summer, great. He needs to get away from this all. lol.

As for "is this about HAVING a BABY or WINNING?" VERY VERY valid point. And I'll be honest, I don't know. OBVIOUSLY I want more children. That is so real. I'm not hung up on them being BIO, but I WOULD like to enjoy one more pregnancy if I may. I get so torn up when we "THINK" we've got the answers and solutions, and then they don't work. Same head running into the same brick wall.

I'm going to make a lil' confession here...

these chemical pregnancies, I'm numb to them now. They sting, it hurts, I get my hopes up EACH and EVERY fecking time. But I know there's a great chance it won't work. I'm guarded bigtime. So when it happens, I'm usually not surprised.

I was shocked THIS time, but the "5 minute pregnancies" don't slay me nearly as much as loosing them later along (which has only been twice) (scoff). It's almost like a BFN to me now, it's happened so darn much. Jaded? Cold-hearted? I don't know. But it's my heart's way of repairing and protecting itself, I suppose. So to think about going thru it again? Meh. I just keep my eye on the prize:

Full arms ;-)

choco_lab · April 2011

I'm so sorry you had to go through this again. I'm also going to hold out hope until you get the numbers! But.. if this doesn't work...

If your heart in it, I would ride out the warrenty. Personally, I'm not sure that I could do it because the appts/testing/etc is so exhausting.. but you are one determined bad azz lady and you seem to have some fight still in you! In the back of my mind, I'd save the frosties for a GC since it seems that they are really good quality frosties. It seems that the dr would work with you if you had a GC ready to go.

I wish I had a crystal ball for you, hon.... << hugs>>

leslie&brian · April 2011

I would probably do the steroids with the IVIG and a FET. I know you have the warranty program, and in most causes I would think it makes most sense to exhaust it, but I don't know that I'd be able to emotionally handle that if I were in your shoes. I know you are strong, and a stubborn Irish woman, but I think everyone reaches a breaking point at some point. I'm not saying you should throw in the towel (hmmftt..like you'd ever do that) and forget about it, but I would probably consider a gestational carrier. I think it's amazing that you have 3 people that have offered you this amazing gift. Know that we're here to support you no matter what you choose.

pinkcallalily · April 2011

Your strength amazes me so much and I don't know how you stay so strong. I think if you can emotionally handle it, I would finish up the warranty so you will either get a live baby or at the very least, your money back. If you don't get a live baby, I would choose adoption. Adoption just seems like a safer decision than using a GC especially with money being an issue.

We are just now expecting our first loss and I'm falling apart over it so I can't even imagine what you've been through. I've been seriously considering adoption myself (we've talked about it for years) because I'm terrified to ever get pregnant again. Of course, my feelings are pretty raw so I might have a different answer for you in a few months. I hate to say "give up", but it just seems that adoption is the surest way to have a second child and with hopefully as little pain as possible. Good luck with whatever you decide!

LisaMarisa · April 2011

Oh Tracie

I would definitely try the FET with the IVIG and steroids. Maybe you needed to start the IVIG earlier and like you said FETs seem to work better for you. Then I would evaluate whether you want to move on to another option. You dont want to become so consumed by this that those options are no longer available to you for whatever reason ($ or age).

Thinking of you.

AuburnBride06 · April 2011

DavezWife:
njdcgirl:

And just another thought about extinguishing the IVF program first...IF you have to do the two more fresh cycles to get your $$ back, you said that it cost you 5K each time to stim....well, that's 10K in meds to only get 15K back...and good lord, if it came all the way to getting your $$ back that would mean additional failed cycles or additional losses. Honestly, that just breaks my heart to think about.

So, if you carry on DO IT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS GOING TO WORK (b/c you are going to figure out this mystery, damn it!), not because you feel like you have to in order to get your $$ back so you can move onto something else.

ETA: ok, just re-read a little closer, and you'd only be out about 5K if you continue the warrenty...but I stand by my second paragraph.

And, I think you could still dig up the $$ for the GC or adoption. Didn't you post about buying a camper or a new boat this summer?

It sucks. Bad. I wish you didn't have to make these decisions at all.

I love ya right back, sista. I'm sure you said what others were thinking. (and yes to clarify, we have 5 frosties, one fresh, THOSE frosties left. In that order. IF not live baby, we get money back) I would bet $1M that if at the end, we're left with 2 frosties standing and good GC waiting, we'll make a deal to use her instead of me, costing us a horse a peice.

The boat/camper thing... Davez brought that up last nite when I said doing another fresh will cost $5K in meds. (as he was looking at campers online, actually.) He said "we're so deep in this chit, $5K means nothing anymore. We'll figure it out." I wanted to scream "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT CAMPERS THEN???" but I figured 2 things - that cat is S-M-A-R-T with money. He won't make a poor fiscal decision. He just won't. I'm going to let him hunt away, and if he wants to buy some chitarse camper for us this summer, great. He needs to get away from this all. lol.

As for "is this about HAVING a BABY or WINNING?" VERY VERY valid point. And I'll be honest, I don't know. OBVIOUSLY I want more children. That is so real. I'm not hung up on them being BIO, but I WOULD like to enjoy one more pregnancy if I may. I get so torn up when we "THINK" we've got the answers and solutions, and then they don't work. Same head running into the same brick wall.

I'm going to make a lil' confession here...

these chemical pregnancies, I'm numb to them now. They sting, it hurts, I get my hopes up EACH and EVERY fecking time. But I know there's a great chance it won't work. I'm guarded bigtime. So when it happens, I'm usually not surprised.

I was shocked THIS time, but the "5 minute pregnancies" don't slay me nearly as much as loosing them later along (which has only been twice) (scoff). It's almost like a BFN to me now, it's happened so darn much. Jaded? Cold-hearted? I don't know. But it's my heart's way of repairing and protecting itself, I suppose. So to think about going thru it again? Meh. I just keep my eye on the prize:

Full arms ;-)

Dude, I so get what you are saying about the c/ps. You do get numb. It just becomes sooo expected. But those later losses, especially after the freaking ultrasound...they are enough to seriously make you just want to do something really crazy (at least I did and I really did consider it).

I agree with Magoy & Mousey.

I think, (of course can't say for sure), that I would do what I need to do to finish out with the remaining embryos and do what needs to be done not to lose anymore (or as much) money. Do the IVIG & the steroids earlier, then, after that cycle(s) are over, be done. No GC, no more cycles. You are not hung up on that genetic link and I know that with the heart you have, it it not a necessity. And to sink THAT much additional money into a GC, with no where near a guarantee??? I couldn't do it. I've internalized a lot of the crap we've been through, and if I sunk that much money into it and it still failed & I wasn't able to adopt, I would never forgive myself. If you've got the $$$ to try everything, more cycles, GC, and adoption, then you can do it, if you need to. But knowing what I do about adoption, there is no way I could sink any more $$$, if I had to have it for adoption, into something that is not a sure thing.

I couldn't do the losses anymore. I couldn't take what it was doing to me, my marriage, everything. Losing the triplets really sent me over the edge. And each loss I cared less & less about my life. So I NEEDED to make the decision to end the insanity. And to me, that's what it was. I define insanity as repeating something over and over, w/ the same AWFUL effect. You are forever inspiring, as well as your husband, because I was truly at the breaking point.

If you need to try ever.last.thing (which you damn near have), do it. I'll admit, I have no desire to attempt pregnancy again, but I do still wonder WTF is wrong with me. It's not that I need a bio kid or that I need to experience a successful pregnancy, now that I have my Noah, it just bugs the *** out of me that I have no idea what's wrong. Maybe it's a part of that failure thing and there's a part of me that just either wants to conquer it or know an exact reason. Who knows.

You want to mother others & you don't care how it happens. You want a sibling for Ava. You want to watch Dave be a dad again. You need to do that the way that is best all around for all of you. Financially, emotionally and just time wise, because you can not continue to put all of your lives on hold to mourn so much. You all deserve SO much better than that. As tough as you are, you do not deserve to stay in this holding pattern of loss after loss. As tough as you are (and completely amazing) I don't want to see you go through any more losses. I want to see you mother others bc you are such a kick ass mom to Ava.

PrincessShay80 · April 2011

I'm so sorry this is going on, man does it suck big time!

You have to do what's best for you and DH, and don't rush into any decision, but here is my two cents- and this is only from my personal experiences. After 2 IVF's (one which worked and ended in m/c and one that didn't) our RE told me he could get me pregnant, he just didn't know how many IVF's it would take. At that point I was done- we had spent so much time, money, effort, and tears, I was ready for happy times. I felt like I was chasing my tail and I was ready for life to start. We had always talked about adoption (as I know you and Davez have) and decided that it was time to take that road. Only because I had truly closed the chapter in IVF and a biological child was I able to move forward, that is why it's so important that if you adopt you have to close the IVF chapter. Each journey has their own challenges, and I cannot imagine dealing with both at one time.

I think it's time to move on from IVF, at least for now- your frozen's aren't going anywhere- if you went back to them several years for now, they would still be there. You want a baby NOW, it's time to start working another plan to make that happen. Once you are okay with stopping the IVF's then you decide if you want to adopt or be "one and done". You guys have been through so much it's time for happy times. So much of your time has been trying to get pregant, it's time to start living your life and enjoying your life with child and your husband.

itsmevkb · April 2011

I totally get the feeling some things may be unethical. I have had struggles with that in the past and continue to.

You got to how I would proceed near the end of your post:

"I'm inclined to add some thyroid meds, stay on the steroids and IVIG, and do another FET asap." Obviously, get the IVIg sooner and/or have you considered pushing a FET out a ways and trying Humira or a similar RA drug? It took three rounds of intralipids for my natural killers cells to get under control and you obviously have bigger issues than just NK cells and you have issues earlier on that I have had so more and quicker seems to make sense.

After that I'd move on to a gestational carrier using frozen embryos. The Catholic part of me makes me always want to use all the embryos.

emmyloustu · April 2011

GypsyEsq:
schmoodle:

Oh lordy. I'm still of the "it's not over till it's over" school and would like to see this next beta before calling it done, but I get that it seems very unlikely at this point.

You know what my view was last time...now, I'm not sure. If it was possible, I guess I'd say try and ride out the warranty, if only to get the $ back and have it to use towards a GC if need be, but I don't know if it makes sense or you can stim anymore after that ($, age, etc.) if you used all the frosties in the warranty. In which case I guess I'm leaning towards GC. I don't know how you can handle these losses over and over anymore and worry that the warranty program may just mean you having to go through this 3 more times (or however many). Sigh. This sucks and I'm thinking those 2 words you don't want to hear.

Oh T, this is just shitty. But I quote Schmoodle because I agree with her. I don't know that going through this anymore is worth the $ back. If you can get a deal with your doc where your embies go to a GC then that's what I'd do. Then we'll all get our drinks on while your GC gets you that take home baby.

Sending my hugs, whether you want them or not.

Once again, I agree with these 2 lovely ladies...

itsmevkb · April 2011

I also wanted to add that I can understand the stubborness. I would love to adopt a child so having purely biological children isn't the end all and be all for me. However, I became even more determined to have another successful pregnancy after my first miscarriage and then even more after my second loss. Had we done some more infertility treatments without a BFP I think I would have been fine moving onto adoption. But, knowing that I could and did get pregnant and that I had gotten pregnant and had babies in the past and it was the all of a sudden staying pregnant that wasn't working just made me all the more determined to STAY pregnant.

For me, I also didn't want to look back at my last pregnancy and delivery being that of a dead baby. I know it's selfish but I need one last "good" pregnancy before I'm ready to move on.

readyin07 · April 2011

Tequila. Straight up. A few good shots right in a row, ok?

Given your history and how that must affect you emotionally and in everything you do, I just don't know how to put myself in your shoes. So this is what I would do...

Finances are a HUGE consideration in my life. So I would probably complete the IVFs that I had under warranty. What scares me is that your last loss was a later loss and I can't imagine how devastating. Opening you up to that if there is some weird a@# crap going on with your body worries me for your emotional well being. But God knows you are strong and if you feel like you can handle it, that would be my plan.

If those cycles fail, I would throw that $15k towards adoption or surrogacy in a heartbeat. You didn't ask, but if it were me, I would lean towards the adoption route. Everyone feels differently about having a non-bio child though and it is a total non-issue with me. I know adoption has its own set of craziness and heartbreaks, but again finances matter a great deal to me and I would feel more comfortable "investing" in that option for my family than a surrogacy.

Jeez, I wish you all the best and lots of (((HUGS)))). It sucks and it's not fair

TheSkimmy · April 2011

Augh. I would continue with everything left in the warranty. If you want to adopt then go for that also! I'm sure you would love a dozen!

Oberon Beer is on tap!

kimarino13 · April 2011

Embryos that look good might not be good (this was the case for me), so I would have them CGH tested. I would then try to transfer back the ones you know are good, as part of your warranty. If that didn't work, and you still had a couple frozens, I would look at a GC.

Tell me if I am losing my mind, but I thought you were on loss 14 earlier this year? I seem to remember something about OR #14? Either way, that's 14 more than anyone should have to endure. I am sorry.

JessandJeremy · April 2011

I would continue on the warrenty. This will give you a couple of more tries with the miracle drug. If that doesn't work...go the GC route with the 15k you would get back from the warrenty.

((Hugs))I"m sorry. I know this is shi tty for lack of a better word. I wish I could do something to help.

ked1068 · April 2011

As someone who has used a GC, if it is a known person, you might be surprised to know that the cost would actually be less than you suspect. I'd be happy to share more if you like.

As someone who recently had a dropping hcg, I know how much it blows. I'm so sorry!!!!

DavezWife · April 2011

kimarino13:

Embryos that look good might not be good (this was the case for me), so I would have them CGH tested. I would then try to transfer back the ones you know are good, as part of your warranty. If that didn't work, and you still had a couple frozens, I would look at a GC.

Tell me if I am losing my mind, but I thought you were on loss 14 earlier this year? I seem to remember something about OR #14? Either way, that's 14 more than anyone should have to endure. I am sorry.

From our best guesstimate, "Owl" was Embie #14, and yes, the D&C was OR #14, so you're not nuts. lol. Holychit that number is disgusting. And just upped by two.

;-(

Again, thank you ALL for all your thoughts. You are all very very kind. (I know this crap got old last year). I meet with Sassy in the AM, and at the moment, adding synthroid, and moving right onto a Natural FET (with staying on the steroids and slamming IVIG in) with trigger and PIO is my hopes and dreams for our next move.

We'll see what he says. ;-)

DavezWife · April 2011

TheSkimmy:

Oberon Beer is on tap!

HELLYEAH!!!! :::chug chug chug:::::

*Willis* · April 2011

If I were in your shoes, I would move on to adoption. Of course, my opinion is biased since I adopted C. However, this is my thought process. You are going to be spending thousands of dollars on PGD, meds, insurance deductibles, etc to finish out this warranty program. In the end, it's possible that you are just spending this $ to get your warranty $ back. It may not matter about the $ you get back because you may spend so much just to get it, KWIM? I know you just want another child, so honestly, I'd adopt. Get a kick as* facilitator and get on the stick. If you want to try another FET, well, those frosties aren't going anywhere. For you or a GC down the road.

Of course, I'm the most impatient person on the planet. When gearing up for IVF #2, my RE referred me to a hema. I called DH and told him I was done, I wasn't waiting for a hema appointment and another cycle. Signed up with a facilitator the next day, picked C up from the hospital 4 weeks later. Much quicker than a pregnancy .

I realize my view simplifies a lot of difficult issues, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

JGirl2005 · April 2011

I'm so sorry. did you read awhile back the constance marie post or blog? She said she only got a live baby from a FET instead of the full IVF. It is intresting that you mention that. Hmm...

I would continue the warranty program. You get the money back if you go through all of the cycles right? You can use that for doing adopiton fees. I don't know. I'm sorry I don't have better opinions for you.

CMM05 · April 2011

Hi T-

I am so not good with all this IVF stuff, but wanted to say that I would probably either try a GC or use the warranty up.

I'm sorry I don't have more advice But, want you to know that I am thinking about you and am here for support!

hooliface · April 2011

I know you don't want to hear I am sorry, but I really am. I have been rooting for you all the way. I think of you often and wish you all the best in this journey/puzzle.

If it were me, I would go with the GC. IF I only had frosties to turn to, I would be elated. I would give your body a break, use the GC and become a mother to another wonderful, beautiful child.

I am sure this is a hard decision, but just know you will make the right one.

FaithRocks · April 2011

Okay, no I'm sorrys but sending lots of booze, however you like it! I really can't imagine what you are going through but I can tell you what I'd probably do personally, which is keep pushing until it happens. At least I'd use all remaining embryos and then reassess. Just my two cents. Sending lots of love and booze.

gabbeyh · April 2011

Urgh, that sucks a big monkey. It just sucks. I don't have any advice...what happens if you "quit" your warranty plan? Do you get any money back? I'm not sure if it is ethical or not to continue. It isn't black and white. I think you are giving the embies a chance by transferring them so I don't think that would be unethical.

armywife76 · April 2011

Big hugs, T. I'm sorry, although I know you don't want to hear that. I feel like an a*s for hounding you with questions about my sister when you were going through this.

Here's my $0.02, FWIW. If it were me, I'd use up the shared risk, freezing all and going balls to the wall with IVIG, steroids, gluten-free, etc. so you could say, "I tried everything." I'd discuss PGD/CGH with Dr. Sassy to see if it would be a good option since you really can't tell about quality by looking at them. Hopefully, the combo will be just right and will bring you baby #2.

If not, I'd save the last couple frosties and negotiate a GC contract. At the same time, I'd do foster/adopt and hopefully one will pan out (or both, or all three, lol).

You are one of the toughest chicks I know and I have no doubt that you will mother others, and sooner rather than later.

DavezWife · April 2011

I need to say something here... the fact you guys, in general, "believe" in me, means the world. Dave is jaded b/c he lives this life with me daily. He's a facts guy ; Doesn't see the forest for the trees.

While I have to appreciate this about him. because I picked him for my mate, it doesn't mean his way is this ONLY way. He's game for moving forward with our warrenty if *I* am. Seeing his wife so sad must suck. This I know.

But as long as we have our prize in sight, and both think we can keep moving towards it, I think we're ok. It's funny, because to be honest, I never saw Davez this way before these past few months. I didn't learn until "literally* saved me in our scuba accident of Jan'10 that he was out to keep me. But we had some pretty cool conversations this weekend, and dare I say.... "we're ok."
I'm ok with saying "I quit."

Just not yet. ;-)

I don't think you know how much I appreciate your thoughts. Seriously. via here and all the notes otherwise. So fricken cool to have such a gaggle of galz around me/us. ;-)

laura1 · April 2011

Hugs to you, and I know you didn't want to hear it, but I am sorry.

As for what I would do...keep in mind I didn't do IVF, or have the losses that you have had. But I think I would continue with the warranty program and just throw the book at it - IVIG, steroids, PGD/CGH, gluten free, etc, as armywife said.

What about baby aspirin? I know you don't have a diagnosed clotting disorder, but could you have one that hasn't been diagnosed or discovered yet (aka there is no test for it)? I would try that too. I would go all out this time and give it my best shot. Then do the next fresh, and if that didn't work, have a GC carry any frozens.

I would also weigh the cost of each cycle with the money back, as njdc said - if I was only going to get back a small amount, I might forgo the last fresh cycle and then just head for the adoption route.

Good luck - this is more than anyone should ever have to deal with, and I hope your next step gets you your take home baby.

alchris · April 2011

Sucks sucks sucks. I'm so very sorry (you know I can't not say that!).

I haven't read pps, and I'm sure they're wise. My gut says to listen to your gut (and heart), which sounds like focusing on FETs and then, if need be, using one of the wonderful GCs who have offered her help. I would not be inclined to move away from the warranty program.

Personally, I'd also want to try with IVIG again, starting sooner on the chance that would make a difference, and continue with the steroids. But, of course, pass on stim meds (FETs). Just once with these + FET, just to know.

Would it make sense to do PGD or are all players confident that it would just show happy healthy embies?

SeaSoul · April 2011

I'm sorry, Davez. No advice here, but I hope you feel content with whatever decision you make.

firsttogo · April 2011

So, I am not sure how this answer will be received, but to me it is about the numbers, and maybe a little different looking in from out at what you have going on there.

You already paid for the transfers/cycles through your "warranty" program. Since that is the case, it would be a no brainer to use what you have paid for. If it works, and you get a live baby, you win. If not, you get your $$ back to put toward beginning the adoption process. I know that on here someone the other day was talking about how adoption was not as unreachable as people tend to think financially.

You really need to decide what you want between having more kids, and having another BIO-baby. And, what getting that bio baby is doing to your emotional, relationship, and parenting well being KWIM? I have never been in this situation, but while it is not the end of a road, it is very much a turning point.

browneyedgrl4282 · April 2011

Well that just sucks. I think I would go with using up what is left in your warranty program since you already paid for it!

Radler · April 2011

I have so much admiration for your determination in this.

Two cents: given what you said about FETs working for you, maybe try one more FET with the new meds and if not, pull your $ out of the warranty program (if you are in the same program we did, you can get your 70% refund at any time) and then use the refund for a GC or adoption?

Also, have you ever shared your story with that infertility blog author who's an RE in NY? It's infertilityblog.blogspot.com, and he answers some pretty specific questions from patients on there, maybe his two cents can help you make a decision.

As always, rooting for you....

DavezWife · April 2011

Radler:

I have so much admiration for your determination in this.

Two cents: given what you said about FETs working for you, maybe try one more FET with the new meds and if not, pull your $ out of the warranty program (if you are in the same program we did, you can get your 70% refund at any time) and then use the refund for a GC or adoption?

Also, have you ever shared your story with that infertility blog author who's an RE in NY? It's infertilityblog.blogspot.com, and he answers some pretty specific questions from patients on there, maybe his two cents can help you make a decision.

As always, rooting for you....

our warranty says we get $15K back if we get no live baby after all cycles (3 fresh, all frozen) so at this point, having done 2 fresh + 1 FET it's all "free" at this point. Obviously we'll take a baby over a refund, please. lol.

Want a personalized experience?

Ladies, I need your help. Big time.

Re: Ladies, I need your help. Big time.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards