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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
I'm done with his sh!t
I don't know what to do anymore. Last night H and I started fighting again. First it was bc I worry all the time and I didn't know how to calm down bc he fell asleep and we were trying to get our stuff in order for a house. Then when I was feeding DS he said, "what did you think you could sneak that pass me without me seeing it" That being the formula dispenser. I told him I showed it to him in the store and then when we got home I told him how we got it cheaper than if I would have ordered it online. Then it hit me. I asked him if I was going to have to ask him for anything I get and he said yea so I said, "So should I have asked you before I ordered diapers this morning?" He gave me a sarcastic yes. I went off on him. I told him that he is just like my father and I'm not going to have to feel like I have to ask him every time I want something or hide it if I need something. He put his hand around the top of my throat/jawline and said it is his money so I will have to. I told him I've said it before and I will say it again. I want out of this marriage bc I'm not going to have to put up with this bc this isn't a marriage and he is controlling. He says I'm just as bad with violence. I haven't hit him once. He claims that one night when I was throwing the diaper in the trash can while sitting on the bed that I meant to hit him bc I missed and smacked him in the face. Then I told him that he has a porn problem. I told my friend about it and she agrees. I found it on his phone again and he looks at it around 830 almost every day at work and he says he's not beating off. But then when he checks his email in his junk mail, he only clicks on the one that say, "Looking for a foreign man" or "I bet you'll like these pics" ONLY those and he claims he's just looking for an unsubscribe link. Well guess what bucko you have 300 something junk mail and those are the only ones you care about that you know doesn't have it bc its the same thing. I know he has a problem.
I don't know what to do anymore. He won't leave my car here and he won't let me leave. He says that he didn't get married to change and that theres not a man out there that does the things his for his wife that I want him to do for me, unless is gay. Everytime I try to walk out of the room to get DS away from this bc I don't want him to hear us fighting, he takes him from me and tries to act like he's the loving parent. You and I both know that he has a funny way of showing it then. He claims that he can get custody of DS in court bc he's going to lie to them and tell them I'm abusive. The other night he said he was going to call the cops and tell them I was hurting DS bc I wouldn't go sit with him while he smoked a cigarette. What kind of *** does that...
I'm going to sit down and talk with him tonight. I'm giving him and ultimatum and if that doesn't work I guess I'm calling a lawyer. I'm not the one that is crazy. He is.
Sorry I needed to get it out... Thanks for reading.
I don't know what to do anymore. He won't leave my car here and he won't let me leave. He says that he didn't get married to change and that theres not a man out there that does the things his for his wife that I want him to do for me, unless is gay. Everytime I try to walk out of the room to get DS away from this bc I don't want him to hear us fighting, he takes him from me and tries to act like he's the loving parent. You and I both know that he has a funny way of showing it then. He claims that he can get custody of DS in court bc he's going to lie to them and tell them I'm abusive. The other night he said he was going to call the cops and tell them I was hurting DS bc I wouldn't go sit with him while he smoked a cigarette. What kind of *** does that...
I'm going to sit down and talk with him tonight. I'm giving him and ultimatum and if that doesn't work I guess I'm calling a lawyer. I'm not the one that is crazy. He is.
Sorry I needed to get it out... Thanks for reading.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm done with his sh!t
This.
Shiit.
Here is my advice.
step 1. If you do not have a safe place to go, call a womens shelter.
step 2. pack your stuff while he is at work and have that safe person/shelter pick you up.
step 3. call police to tell them where you are and about the situation (It sounds like he would call and say you kidnapped) then call a lawyer.
He is violent and neither of you should be around him. End.of.Discussion.
I am so sorry
I think you're beyond sitting down to talk with him given the things he's said to you. Call a lawyer now.
Do you have anyone that can come gget you and your DS, someone you can stay with?
Honey, I'm so sorry. You need to leave him. Take a bus if he takes your car, walk anything. You have to protect your child - that is your number one priority. You are not only responsible for yourself, but for someone else who can't walk out on their own. Put you baby first and leave. I know it isn't easy or simple, but it's what is right.
There is no way in hel! that a court would grant him custody if you tell them that he hits you. If it's the mom's word over the dad, they will side with you.
Can you fine a woman's shelter? Or a place to stay that he won't think of looking for you?
Skip the ultimatum bullsh!t. Get a lawyer and take yourself and your son and get the fvck out. Your husband is an a$$hole.
This 100%.
BFP 11/29 - m/c @ 5w
All of this. Screw the talk tonight. You need to get out.
Get out now. Look up online or call a local woman's shelter.
This exactly! He doesn't deserve an ultimatum. You need to get out now.
This is good advice. You want to be smart about this, your safety and the safety of your child depend on that.
Yup. That sounds like emotional abuse. It doesnt have to be physical. Get out and take your kid with you. Walk to the next house or call a cab and say you need to get to a shelter.
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Your H sounds like he is on the verge of something very violent; you cannot be sure if it will only effect you or if he would take out aggression on your son.
Seeing all of your previous posts about your marriage woes, I think you either need to hunker down and get serious martial counseling or exit the marriage. It will not be healthy if either one of you keep expressing your frustrations in this way. Both of you are held accountable.
While I think he's exampling poorly because of his porn "addictions" and obviously being physically violent, I think you should do what is in the best interest for LO. You don't want to put him in any kind of dysfunctional household.
Also, I agree with what J+MS said, he'll have to prove that you beat your son. They wouldn't find anything considering you don't. Play your cards, advise a lawyer and record everything. The courts aren't automatically in favor of mothers anymore, so if you continue to be pliable to what your H is making you do, there is a chance it could end up being joint.
I don't know. Talk to a lawyer.
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We know that. But if she leaves to protect herself and the baby, there may be limited contact and he won't know where they are. That is kidnapping, in his eyes and the authorities, if no one is notified. I just recently read that most kidnappings in the US are by parents.
This this this!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITA
I agree with wife 100%.
If she takes him without the fathers permission, I believe it is. Haven't you ever seen those "Missing" or whatever & its because they have been kidnapped by the other parent?
This!
Agreed.
This 100%! Its time to end this! You and your baby do not deserve this.
Your husband is an abuser, pure and simple.
Leave. Now. Get off the Bump, pack your stuff, call a woman's shelter, friend, someone and just leave. Call an attorney, police, whoever else you need to.
6 IUIs,IVF #1 w/ICSI = BFP!
Betas, 332 & 856 = twins!
Our baby girl is here!
ITA with everything all the other posters are saying.
Also, I wouldn't even hint at the fact that you're thinking about leaving. Leave him completely out of the loop, don't tell anyone who knows him...neighbors, coworkers, friends, even family. Sounds like if he knows that you're planning on leaving he would go berserk on either you, your kid, or both. Keep completely quiet about it until you are in a safe and secure location far away from him.
GL mama, stay strong and always remember that you're doing this for the safety of you and your child.
I agree with this. You need to get out now.
This is exactly it! Things are not going to get better! I agree with everything Wife suggested you do! And get out tonight! There is no reason to live in an abusive relationship. AT. ALL!!! You need to protect yourself and your son!
Good luck! I hope everything works out and that you're safe and sound with your DS!`