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emilydholmes1
member
If you and your DH have differing religious views
emilydholmes1
member
How does this work in your family? I guess I am mainly talking to people who believe in God or Christians married to those who don't or aren't Christian. But I'm sure it can apply to other religions as well.
If you believe in basic Christianity and the Bible, you belive in heaven and hell and that if you believe (or are saved) you will have eternal life and be spared hell. So if you are with someone that doesn't believe, are you worried about the fact that they might not have eternal life and could go to hell? (I know how harsh that sounds but if you are a Christian, you should believe that, right?)
How does that work now that we have children? How will you justify that to them?
I am genuinely curious here, not trying to start something.
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Re: If you and your DH have differing religious views
Yeah, I'm really not attacking- I am seriously curious and I saw someone on 3-6 post about how their DH was agnostic and they believe in God so it sparked my interest. I hope someone replies.
It's a different situation in our home.
I have my faith, and am Christian. DH was raised Christian (his father and step mother are very religious).
Both of us grew up going to Sunday school, were baptized, and were raised with God in our lives.
I am still religious, but granted, don't put the effort into it now that I should ;but before I met him DH converted to Buddhism. He said that something about Christianity never sat quite right with him and when he researched some religions, Buddhism really spoke to him. For the most part, it's a very peaceful religion and DH believes in it greatly. He meditates every evening (sounds odd, doesn't it?) and tries to live his life by the Buddhist principles.
When it comes to Logan, we have agreed to teach him a bit about both religions and encourage him to learn about others and go the route that feels most natural for him. In order to benefit from faith and religion (IMO), you really have to believe in it, and take it to heart. For that reason, we remain liberal in our household, support each other in our individual religious beliefs and encourage Logan to figure it out for himself.
ETA: as for the after life thing, I believe that any good person who wishes to, will go to the ultimate place of peace that is in accordance with their own beliefs. I like to think that I and Logan (some day) will go to heaven. I hope that DH joins us; however, admittedly, I haven't brought up with DH what the afterlife looks like, although I do believe it's reincarnation. I hope he gets reincarnated as mother so he knows what it's like to be home with a baby all day! (I kid, I kid)
I am agnostic verging on being an atheist and my husband's Catholic. I have agreed that we can get DS baptized and I will join a church...though I'm not thrilled with the idea of a Catholic church. I don't mind DS having a Christian background so if it's something he wants to hold on to as he grows?he'll have it. Faith and community can be great things and church can be a place to find those things.
We haven't really talked about the after life issues. I don't really believe that there's a heaven and I think my DH does. It's something I've thought to bring up?might be a really interesting conversation one of these days. I know that's mostly what you're asking about...sorry I don't have the answer, but it's sparked me to want to talk to DH about it.
Me too. I once had a friend in college whose father was Jewish and she said she thought her father was going to hell when he died. It made me very sad for her. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post.
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There are atheist churches in many areas. I have long considered going to one, but am too lazy to get dressed up and get C dressed up on a Sunday.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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What is cowboy church?
Athiest church seems like such an oxymoron to me.
RW- I like you so please dont take this as picking on you. If you are a Christian (which you said you were) then it's most basic foundation is understanding Christ came to die for our sins and give us everlasting, eternal life. So you contradict yourself in saying you are a Christian but you think good people can go to heaven (you call it ultimate place of peace but I am taking that as Heaven). See what I am saying?
Right. That is really what I am trying to get at.
I was raised Catholic but am now agnostic, borderline Atheist. I have a hard time believing that there is a higher being without having physical proof.
My H was raised loosely Baptist and chose to have himself baptised at 13.
He would like for our children to be raised with religion in some form. I am not fully opposed to it but I am certainly not going to be the one instilling them with beliefs that I myself do not hold. I have told him that he is welcome to expose them to whatever religion he wants to (after letting me know first) ie: taking them to church, etc. As of yet, it has not come up really because they are still young.
Ideally, H would expose them to his Baptist beliefs and I will explain why I cannot fully get behind it all and they will come to their own conclusions when they are older. I would definitely want them to study a variety of religions and help them find one, if any, that they would feel is most compatible for their lives.
I am not going to force them to think one way or another. They will be able to make a decision when they are old enough to understand all that differing religions have to offer.
I hope that makes sense!
I'm not sure! I'd like to see a response to this. For me one of the "perks" of being atheist is not having to drag out of bed on Sunday morning & go to church!
Yes, I do, and I totally didn't take it the wrong way.
I believe that Heaven is a part of life, and just because you die and leave Earth, your journey isn't over. It's true that you eventually will pass away, and since you aren't on Earth, where are you? My belief is that you continue your journey in Heaven. I believe (and hope) that any person who lives their life with a good heart will go there. I also believe in Forgiveness, so any person really who asks for forgiveness and sincerely wants it, for their sins will also go to Heaven to continue their journey. I used the term "ultimate place of peace" to incorporate anyone, really, despite their religion. I believe that everyone has their place they wish to go when they leave Earth, and they may not call it Heaven, which is why I was a bit more generic in the terminology.
I also do think there is a Hell, and if you have committed a horrible sin (like murder, things like that) and either do not ask for forgiveness or you ask for forgiveness for self-serving purposes (not because you feel real remorse), you will go to Hell.
I don't know if I've made any sense and I've also said "I believe" a lot...haha...but there it is. I also respect other people's beliefs, so I'm really not trying to offend anyone...this is just how I feel...
And what would do there?
Also, I'm on the WTH is a cowboy church train?
No, it's all good...I don't take offense to things like this. I know what the Christian belief is, and that is one thing that I have struggled with. I guess I feel that just by having the belief alone that Christ died for your sins will get you into Heaven, I just have a hard time with that one. I like to think that even if you haven't lived a "good" life, if you show remorse for what you've done and genuinely want the forgiveness, then you can get into Heaven.
But...I don't make the rules, and while I do have trouble with that one,my faith and belief in God has brought me through a lot of hard times in my life, and I am thankful for that.
Sorry to butt in, I'm genuinely curious b/c I'm not Christian. Does this mean you believe a person can live a life full of sin, but as long as they "believe that Christ died on the cross for your sins" then they will go to heaven?
I am agnostic. I believe that it is unknown and unprovable that a God does or does not exist. That is what being agnostic means. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't believe in God, but you believe that His existence (or non-existence) can't be proven. Atheists don't believe in a God at all or even that there may be a God. Having said that, one would conclude (correctly) that I do not adhere to any religion. I was raised in the Catholic church, but they scare me. Luckily, DH has the same views.
His family, however, does not. MIL is Christian (Presbyterian) and very strongly believes in God. I love that she does not push her beliefs on us. I am letting LO decide for himself if he wants to believe in God and adhere to a certian religion.
DH and I are both atheist...
but I know my parents differed greatly on their religious views (still do). My Mother is very Christian and attends church regularly (wasn't as involved when we were young, but is very involved now). My Father is somewhere between Agnostic and Atheist, but was raised Catholic. Their answer for their children was to not raise us under any religion. We didn't go to church, but if we asked about it they talked to us about different beliefs. My Mom would always say "I believe..." when speaking of her beliefs, but told us we could believe what we wanted. When I was 8 or so I asked to go to church so she took me. I was just curous and wanted to know. I didn't go again, but it was my own choice.
Me and my 2 siblings are all pretty much Atheist or Agnostic and my Mom and Dad are completely ok with this.
And WTF is an Atheist church?
Right. My point of the post was not if you DON'T believe in it what will you tell you kids. I wasn't looking to hear that you will let your LO decide what they want to believe (which is totally fine). My point was if you are a Christian (or not) and your spouse is not (or is) how do you feel about the potential of them not going to heaven with you. RW touched on it but the other reponses aren't really answering my question. Perhaps, I was unclear.
Well. This explains why some of the most evil people I know are Christians, then. I am not saying all or even a majority, but I believe some Christians hide behind their religion and use it as a safety net of sorts. The "I believe Christ died for my sins, therefore I am going to heaven no matter what" mentality is what I am talking about. These are the types that kill doctors that perform abortions (kind of hypocritical, no?)
Thanks for sharing your perspective! It's not confusing per se, but it's hard to wrap one's head around it, especially when people constantly commit sin and then can say they are going to heaven because they are Christian. I understand that ideally, a real "Christian" wouldn't sin, but that seems impossible to me.
One last question, what do you mean by "eternal life" in that context?
Sadly, I agree. It happens and it's wrong and twisted and completely NOT what Christ would do.
No, I am agreeing with you. Answer away, there are (obviously) a lot of misconceptions about Christianity. And there will always be the Christians out to spew hate and ruin it for the rest of us.
I think it also matters what type of Christianity you are a part of. I was raised in the Pentecostal church. The belief is if you repent, be baptized (fully submerged) and "speak in tongues" you will make it into heaven. Now, that whole "system" has to be maintained. You can't do these three things and then go kill someone. But you can kill someone and then do those things and gain admittance. I'm sure even these basic principles are different, slightly, in different Pentecostal churches around the country.
So for this type of Christianity just going to church and believing in God isn't enough.
As for our family, DH was raised Brethern, but his sis was raised Pentecostal. He considers Pentecostal religion a cult, and it left a bad taste in his mouth. I would say he's spiritual, not religions because of this.
I was raised hardcore Pentecostal, but after attending a liberal arts college, changed my beliefs to match DH's about that religion. I would like to be in the church, Brethren, because I think, if nothing, it fosters a great sense of community.
BTW, kirky, YGPM.
back atcha!
You're verging on preachy. Perhaps way off base from yours, but not necessarily in general.
The Pentecostal church I attended as a youth did not believe that Jesus is the savior. It believe that God was. Jesus was a "piece" of God sent to Earth. The Pentecostal church I went to believed in one deity, God, not a trinity God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. In that church, it's all just God.
I haven't read all responses yet.
I wouldn't have married my husband if we didn't share the same beliefs. We are both Christian. Our faith has gotten us through tons of things in our marriage. I don't think our marriage would work if it weren't for God.
Thanks Kirky, I appreciate your response!
I guess it's hard for me to wrap my head around it because I believe everyone will be held accountable for everything they do in this life, without anyone mediating for them. I believe people will "serve time" in hell for the bad things they did which they did not repent for, and will enjoy their time in heaven for all the good things they did in this life. So it's possible for a person to experience both heaven and hell. And it's possible for a person to experience just one.
Ahh, isn't that the problem. Think how different things in the world would be if people didn't fight over their religion being the "right" one and just shared in a belief of something more.
This thread makes me uncomfortable.
DH and I both have very personal relationships with God. We were both raised in Christian churches (me Methodist, him Presbyterian) but as adults our opinion of churches as instituions is somewhat cynical. He believes churches are largely mercenary and corrupt, I see them as more of a social, traditional institution. We worship individually, in our own respective ways. But that's neither here nor there.
Honestly I have no idea if DH is "saved" according to how some of you would define the term. I know that I said the words as a young teenager, that I pray and give thanks many times throughout my day, and consider myself a Christian. I would like to believe that DH and I will spend eternity together. But I cannot reconcile my personal beliefs on Heaven and Hell with what most Christians believe to be true.
My mother passed away when I was ten. She lived a life that very closely followed the teachings of Christ. She was a "good person" that touched the lives of many, MANY people with her goodness. But she was Jewish, not Christian. I absolutely REFUSE to believe that she is burning in hell right now.
And yes, I realize that this constitutes "picking and choosing" from the Bible, and I also realize that many of you will question the fact that I call myself a Christian. So be it.